Toddler My Son Won't Eat!

Updated on April 11, 2008
W.C. asks from Jamaica Plain, MA
17 answers

help! my 17 month old suddenly just became picky! he won't eat anything he used to love. he is eating enough and drinking enough that it isn't a medical problem at this point. just frustrating. has anyone else's child done this? is it a phase? i can't even get his to eat toast anymore!

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So What Happened?

thank you so much for help regarding my son! all of the suggestions were so helpful. thanks to the responses, he is eating much better. when he doesn't want to eat, i don't pressure him. i found myself engaging in battles with him.... stupid!!! anyway, thanks so much. it is very much appreciated.

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J.M.

answers from Lewiston on

This is typical. As long as he is eating and drinking,that is what matters. You might want to try disguising the foods he won't eat with something else. Like peas in applesauce, etc..

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R.J.

answers from Boston on

my opinion is definately just a phase! my daughter did the same thing. she pretty much didnt eat anything for a year. and my son, is still kind of doing it, just not as badly as she was. good luck!

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Sometimes it's a phase - a control thing. Sometimes, if they have only been eating a few items, they just get so sick of them. Don't worry too much about something like toast - it's not full of nutrition. Try making sandwiches out of bread cut with cookie cutters, decorating food to make it fun (look at kiddie cookbooks in the library for ideas), or do silly things like making meatloaf to look like a cupcake, and "frosting" it with mashed potatoes or sweet potatoes (or a mixture of the two). Have chicken nugget dinosaurs "eat" broccoli "trees" on the plate. Create a funny face with whipped cream (low sugar) on whole grain pancakes. And so on. Just ride it out - they don't starve if you make stuff available. You can't force it down them and they will eat if they are hungry and it doesn't turn into a battle. Supplement with Reliv kids' nutrition and put it into a smoothie. Make rice with the water you've saved from steaming vegetables for yourself - lots of great vitamins you don't want to throw down the drain!

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

Hi,
Relax. This is typical as his growth is slowing down. Do not get into stress over eating. It creates lifelong issues with food and control. Put out healthy foods, keep them cute and interesting, cut into finger size chunks, keep fruit juice to a minimum, and the rest will take care of itself. And be sure to sit with him for each meal, modelling (without comment) enjoying your food in moderation. Enjoy talking with him about anything and ignor how much he eats.

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B.B.

answers from Boston on

I agree that it is most likely a phase. Good that he is eating and drinking. I would just keep offering him foods during meal times and snack times as usual and not make a big deal out of it. This is a difficult stage for us moms to go through. Hang in there. : )

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P.B.

answers from Burlington on

Hi Wendy,

You could be talking about my son. He ate beautifully until he was about 18 months, then went completely picky. If I insisted he eat something, he'd actually gag and throw up (He'll still do this if pushed.)
He's a healthy 9 year old now, but is still a terribly picky eater. I try to be sure he eats healthy food everyday, but the things he will eat are limited, so I make sure he has a vitamin every day and I rarely allow him to have junk food.
I have read, and his pediatrician has confirmed, that some children are extremely sensitive to the taste, texture and smell of food so much so that they will behave just as my son does. This is a tough one, good luck.
P. B.

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K.T.

answers from Boston on

Like everyone else said, very normal and just a phase. I have been through that a lot with my kids. Lately I actually cant get my kids to stop eating!!!!

Just keep offering him the foods he would eat and new things too, dont give up. Just offer the foods, he will take what he wants or needs, and leave it at that. As long as he isnt loosing weight he will be fine.

Best of Luck

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L.S.

answers from Boston on

I have two children. My daughter will be 6 in July and my son turned 1 in January. I also have 5 nephews who I've enjoyed greatly throughout their development. What's going on with you son is totally normal! Just keep offering the foods to him, and add new ones too. Eventually curiosity will get the best of him. Since kids go through growth spurts, their eating habits go up and down. It won't be long before he's eating everything he can get his hands on. If you're worried about nutrition, you can supplement with a vitamin or nutritional snack, but the human body won't willfully deprive itself of needed nutrients. Good luck and enjoy this wonderful age!

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E.H.

answers from New London on

Its funny that I just read that...I took my 1 year old to the Dr yesterday and he said dont be surprised if all of a sudden at 18 months he becomes a picky eater. He said it is just a phase and it happens a lot. He also told me to just keep trying to introduce foods and eventually he will hopefully eat. As long as he is eating and drinking enough then I wouldnt worry too much but it does stink when they become picky all of a sudden.

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S.J.

answers from Barnstable on

Hi W.,
I believe kids go thru growth spurts that correlate with their eating habits. They usually eat what their bodies need.
As long as he's healthy otherwise, it's probly just a phase.
It can be very frustrating because we often associate food with love. When all else fails, bring food :) it's what moms do! Don't fret, he'll get hungry again. Keep in touch with your pediatrician if you notice other things, like a change in bowel habits, excesssive sleepiness etc.
Good Luck!
S.

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H.G.

answers from Boston on

This is seriously one of the most frustrating things a parent goes through! You are not alone! I have a 3 year old and I have learned that sometimes she needs to go to bed hungry if she won't eat dinner, although her little growling tummy at bedtime kills me! Feeding your child in our society is a way of showing love. We feel like terrible parents if our children don't eat a good meal. It's easier said than done and I certainly struggle with it all the time, but we have to let it go. The more we push, the more children struggle. They will eat when they are hungry and since they are trying to control whatever they can, they will control when and what they eat. If you can not make it a big deal, offer your son 2 choices of foods you think he'll eat for a meal and make sure you are sitting to eat too. If he eats you can praise him but not too much, "that's yummy isn't it, good bite!". If he doesn't eat it, then tell him he's all done until snack time and move on. I think the less we make a big deal about food, the less hangups our kids will have with it. No more clearing your plate every meal! Hope it helps, I know it's hard! He'll be ok though if he skips a meal now and then:)

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M.M.

answers from Boston on

Don't worry...this is normal...The one thing about kids is that they won't go hungry. Keep offering him a variety of foods. And don't be surprised if has days, like fruit day or cheese day or veggie day when he mostly wants to eat is alot of one thing that day...it works out at the end of the week (I kept chart for week) And when the growth spurt kicks in he'll eat anything that's not tied down.

Good luck
M. M
sahm of a six and half year old boy

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L.C.

answers from Hartford on

Don't worry. I have 2 sons and they both went through this phase. It is amazing that they don't starve, but they really, really don't. Just remember that a toddlers nutrition happens over a week, not a day. Over the course of a week, they will get what they need. My older son came out of this phase at about 4 and now he eats all the time. My younger son is still at the end of it, but getting better. Just keep offering good foods and he will eventually eat them. I cut up lots of fresh fruit because they will usually eat that and then sneak the veggies into anything I can. Hang in there.

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T.N.

answers from New London on

Hi W.,
Rest assured your son is going through a phase. I am a mom of two children (son is almost 4 and daughter is 20mos). Anyhow, my daughter went through this phase at 18mos. and it was extremely frustrating. She still hasn't gotten back to the foods she used to love, and is very picky but as long as she's eating we are good with that. Especially after going through that terrible week when she ate practically nothing. It could be a number of things. In my daughters case I believe it was her eye teeth coming in and just her stubborness and power of will that she would be the decision maker when it came time to eat and what to eat. Just relax and get through this period...offer snacks and plenty of liquids and hopefully he will get back to his routine of eating soon.

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C.F.

answers from Pittsfield on

Hi W.,
I can definitely relate. I'm a mom of 6, soon to be 7, so I seem to almost always have at least one kid who's in a picky stage. My oldest is 12, though, and despite the fact that he's probably been consistently the pickiest, he's quite healthy and will be taller than I am by next year. So, don't worry. I have tried everything, from force-feeding to grounding to bribing, and none of it works if they don't want to eat. So I've given it up, and just let them eat what they'll eat, and if they don't, they don't. With that being said, I also refuse to make them something different if they don't like what we are having. They either eat it or they go hungry. Your son is a little young yet for this approach, but just a warning for the future if you don't want to become a short-order cook! I also started to sneak things into the foods they would eat. My kids loved pancakes, which was great, because you can put anything in those, and they taste great. I would put in baby food carrots or sweet potatoes or applesauce and a little cinnamon, and they never knew the difference. I also put oatmeal in place of some of the flour sometimes (mix the oats with the milk first for 10 minutes, to soften it so it doesn't make the pancakes chunky). I also like to make blueberry syrup with no sugar so at least they aren't getting all that sugar. Let me know if you'd like the recipe -- it's really easy. I also mix pure maple syrup half and half with the commercial syrups to cut down on the corn syrup. My kids also love smoothies, which you can also add things to. We just used plain yogurt, frozen berries, bananas, or any other fruit and sweetened it with honey. I even added a little flax seed oil. The kids thought they were getting a treat, and I love seeing them slurp up all those healthy things! My kids also love to dip things, so I cut up veggies and let them dip away. Carrots are tough at your son's age, but my kids did cucumbers and the different color peppers at his age, without much problem. That's about all the specific ideas I've got right now. Just remember, even though it's frustrating, it's totally normal and not because of anything you're doing or not doing. He'll get what he needs, and will grow out of this stage, so hang in there.

S.K.

answers from Boston on

my daughter is 19 mos and going through the same thing - for her it is an independance thing - she wants to do it herself. in the morning she'll say oatmeal, i'll make it etc. and try to feed it to her and she says "no". I've been letting her hold a spoon and try to feed herself for a few months now - but it's always been easier for me to still feed her (esp. in the morning when we're tyring to get out the door). but this one morning, she refused to eat while i had a spoon in my hand. once i put the spoon down, she started scooping herself. It's been messy - but she really wants to do it herself - so i started making the oatmeal a little thicker - so it sticks to the spoon better. within a week now she's doing it on her own ( holding the bowl to her belly in the crook of her arm, and using a spoon that has a loop handle, and she does a decent job now).

I've also found Yoplait kids yogurt has the same nutrional values as yobaby - but it is alot thicker and sticks to the spoon better. so it's all about trying to find foods that aren't too messy for her to feed herself. she now also wants to drink out of a regular glass/cup when she sees us drinking out of regular cups. she's getting really good at it - but i only give her a tiny bit, she drinks it out of a small plastic cup, so i just keep refilling a little at a time.

Costco has these great breaded spinach bites. i put 3 of those and 3 chicken tenders in the toaster oven and she loves them. She's also recently found ketchup - to dip her chicken - that's helping her eat more too. it get's messy with the dipping, but atleast she's eating.

we're back to babyfood veggies now - b/c she loves using the spoon so much - and i think has a texture thing about picking things up with her fingers - that she doesn't like. and she'll eat 2 containers of the step2 veggies - i get 2 different flavors and mix them.

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W.D.

answers from Boston on

they all do this.. it's a control thing.. you just have to keep trying and not get frustrated. good luck. if you are worried about nutrition, get those cookbooks about hiding foods.. at least that way he's getting something good for him and he won't know it

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