My Son Is Suddenly Waking Crying for Mommy in the Middle of the Night

This happened to us. may I say...keep your visit into his room Short but Sweet. I made the mistake of rocking her and now every time I go in when she screams I have to rock her...however when my hubbie responds she simply goes back in her bed lays day and gets tucked in. So....I am the easy mark.
just be firm, tell the child everything is fine and that you love them. hug, kiss and get out! do this over and over and they will get the point!
however ....also remember this is just a "season" in your childs life! everything changes with time and they sure won't be shouting for ya when they are 16!
trust me on this one...as we have 2 18 year olds as well!

you are doing great! keep it up!

1 mom found this helpful

Have you tried hugging him while he's standing up in the crib, then easing him down into a lie-down position?

I'll agree with some other moms, cry-it-out can be great (worked for us!), but it doesn't mean every time they cry, you leave him. We've found with our kids that sometimes we just need to go in, rub their back, hum, etc. until they're settled (but not totally asleep). Just some reassurance. One word, though, with my son we found that after we settle him down, he cries again as soon as we leave the room. At that point, we wait only a few minutes before heading back in. About 98% of the time only takes one trip. He cries when I leave, but it doesn't last more than 2 minutes and then he's back to sleep!
Good luck!
B.

Hey may have an ear infection or something wrong. I would get him looked at if this is a new behavior.

Sorry D., I clicked on the wrong Mommy for advice, I hope you do find some help for this issue. Good Luck

Another thing you can try (if the patting of the back coupled with the "shhhh" while leaving the baby in the crib does not work for you) is to pull a chair up next to his bed and sit there or lie there, pretending to be asleep, until he quiets down. We had some sleep issues a few months back with our then 15 month old after we got back from a vacation (on vaca he insisted on sleeping in bed with us the entire time - ugh! no one slept well). This was a child who slept great from 5 months on after we did Ferber - and it was the chair right up next to the crib for a few nights when we got him that worked for us to get us back on track. Don't get me wrong, he really wanted me to get up out of the chair and pick him up, but I didn't do it and eventually (within 10 minutes) he put his head down, hugged his bear and went to sleep. The next night I moved the chair to its normal position (6 ft away from the crib), then left after 5 minutes and the third night he told me "night night" so I left. This could just be a phase your son is going through, or could be dreams ... either way this too shall pass!

parenting books and methods, sounds like fun, problem is,
kids dont read them.. ok, seriously, if the child will sleep through the night only after being rocked to sleep, then try that.. or it may be that your mother had a slightly different way or method to get the child to sleep, call her and ask, it cant hurt.. maybe she read the child a certain book, or played a particular game with him before putting him in bed or it may that the child was put to put to bed with a particular stuffed animal. but once you start putting the child to bed with you every night, then you will have the fun of trying to eventually get him back out of your bed..thus creating a new issue.
K. H.

Oh wow! I feel like I am reading my own post!! I have a 16 month old boy (and his twin sister). He was a great sleeper until TEETHING started at 7 months old...at which point he started waking at night. I made the mistake of taking him out of the crib and rocking him at night when he cried...which eventually led to him refusing to go back in the crib...which then led to me letting him sleep in our bed when he woke at night. So for 5 months (until he turned one), he would wake everynight at some point and come into our bed. This became unmanageable at around 12 months old when he started getting smarter and fighting even going to bed (and taking naps) b/c he just wanted to sleep in bed with us. Soooo...we also did the cry it out method and it worked GREAT! Within 3-4 nights, he was sleeping through the night (and never cried for more than 15 minutes during the process). The sleeping lasted for about 3 months...and then he just recently started waking at night again!? UGH!!! I felt so bad letting him cry it out again....but I did try it...and he cried for much longer than he ever had the first time. And I just couldn't stomach letting him cry for an hour in the middle of the night. So I somehow started this routine of going in right when he starts to cry and laying him back down (without any eye contact or talking), and patting his back for 2-3 minutes. This has worked. He goes back to sleep with only 1-2 minutes of crying after I leave. I wish I didn't have to go in at all....but spending less than 5 minutes to resolve the issue and get him comfortable ended up working better for our family than laying there listening to him cry and cry for an hour. And I have to say that I was very nervous about my patting his back resulting in another long term habit....but he has actually gone back to sleeping through the night on many nights. It is hit or miss when he wakes up now. But when he does, I go in and pat his back for a couple minutes.

Best of luck! I know how stressful the night-time sleeping issues can be.

I think the most important thing right now is making sure your son feels safe and secure. You know that he can sleep on his on, so I don't think you need to retrain him or revisit that issue quite yet. I think children are going to go through times when they need or want mom and dad more than other times, so they may act vulnerable in an area that they have overcome before. Such as first day of school, when they've been in a daycare before. They need to know that mom and dad are going to be there for them and not make things more stressful for them by pushing them too hard. Your son is still very young, young enough to still be "a baby". Sometimes we forget that about our children when that start exhibiting some independence. If he needs to fall asleep with yall I say let him, them move him to his own bed if he will stay asleep. I know you don't want this to become a habit, so give him the comfort he needs, and slowly work on him going back to his bed. I don't think you need to do anything extreme like the cry it out, but if he has a bed lay down with him. And I also wanted to say I do not think it was a mistake to rock your son to sleep when he was a baby. That was very valuable time of bonding.

Just a thought.....he might be cutting teeth...my son didn't really have much trouble with the front and side teeth...but the very back teeth REALLY rocked his world. He cut them all early. He was up crying like he was having night terrors or an ear ache. I had him checked for the ear infection twice. Clear...I gave him ibuprofen "before" he slept....trying to get it into him when he woke screaming was not working. If he woke during the night after that-I would take him to a chair in the living room with his blankie and passy and we would sit together and watch the Sprout or Noggin channel. No other lights on. I also didn't talk to him too much..for my son too much talk just stirrs him up. Sometimes he fell asleep-other times he just calmed. I also got him a drink or bottle of warm milk....*got this ready before I got him from his crib, so I wouldn't have to fool with it with him in my arms. Sometimes he took it sometimes he wanted NOTHING. I too was afraid of starting a new "problem" with watching TV in middle of night....I didn't take him to bed with us. But once his teeth settled....i mean even moving once they cut through gave him a fit. he settled back into his routine of sleeping through the night. He is now 2 yrs and 2 months....now we're up sometimes during the middle of the night because he didn't eat enough...so I get him a half of PB&J and some drink and we have a picnic in his bed room. He truley is a good sleeper...I have learned to think through the day and see if he's been showing me any clues that might help me at night with him. I also pray for much discernment! Also you might get a great picture of him and your mama for him to keep in his room with him. He could go to bed with it. I keep photo's for my boy in those plastic magnet photo holders...the flimsy ones, we keep them on the fridge or dishwasher. He can get them and take them where he wants. I wish you all the best!!!!!!! I too am deeply in love with my son! What a true blessing they are! So glad your enjoying yours....I also have a 19 yr old...believe me- live in today with him....it goes too fast! Enjoy your journey, D.

Even though you know he can put himself back to sleep, he just needs a little reassurance that you are there for him from time to time. (Don't we all?) Don't let him cry if it doesn't sound like he'll go right back to sleep. Just a little pat and "Shh.." can go a long way, for everyone. Try to avoid taking him out of the crib. If you feel like you have to be right there with him, then stand at the crib and let him hug you. When he realizes he's not getting picked up, he may just lay down again. That worked with #1 but not #2. I had to leave the room with #2 to let her know she had to go back to sleep. There is NO full-proof sleep method with kids. They just change too much. Try to be consistant and let them know you are always there for them. That's about the best you can do.

Hi D.,

I have had the same problem with my son the last couple weeks. He is 16 months old. It has only happened a couple times and I would rock him for a while first and then put him back down but if he was still upset and really just wanted me I brought him to our bed. If he didn't go to sleep but calmed down after a while I put him back in his crib. But if your son will sleep the rest of the night in your bed I wouldn't worry about it. As long as it doesn't become a regular thing you are fine. Sometimes they do just need a little mommy love. We have used the cry it out method the rest of the time with our son and he is usually a great sleeper.

First off I'm assuming you actually want people opinion since you asked.
I suggest not going in or going in and patting him or something but don't take him out his bed. If it comes to crying well so be it but i think you are making more trouble by taking him to your bed and it really starts with you taking him out of his. If it was me, i would walk in and check his pants and make sure everything is ok and leave. But you are def. making trouble for your self by taking him out of his bed. You are undoing what you have already done. Good luck

I say go with your gut - if it doesn't feel right, don't do it! That's mom's instinct!

My husband and I always assumed (and have been right so far) that these bouts of sep anxiety should be dealt with with love and compassion - and we let our son jump in bed with us for a few days/weeks. We talked with him about it the next day though, and explained that he was going to have to be back in his big boy room/bed soon... and sometimes used a treat or toy as reward.
If he got out of bed again - called for us in the night - we took away the toy. It worked for us.
We still do this now sometimes - he's 3 1/2. He LOVES his own room and bed, but just needs to be close sometimes.
He won't be in your bed forever.... he's just a little guy.

You might want to give him a nice long bath at night. Water play can tire a person out--Play hard....Sleep. This won't solve the seperation issue, that will come in time. Its a "must try" that can possibly help everyone to sleep thru the night. Good Luck

Separation anxiety is starting to hit our 9-month-old boy. He sometimes sleeps all the way through till bottle time, but other times wakes up screaming. What works best for him is for me to go into his room, give him a quick kiss and tell him it's all right. Then I hand him his lovey blankie and I lie down on the floor by the door and pretend to go to sleep. (I keep a pillow and throw blanket in there for myself.) If he's really crying hard it might take him up to 5 minutes to calm down. Sometimes I give him a quick reminder to lie down and go to sleep, but I don't pick him up. If I do that then he'll be up fussing for 45 minutes.

Every child is different! That's wonderful most of the time, but down right frustrating in the middle of the night. Some need holding to clam down and some just get more awake if picked up. Thank goodness we have other parents to talk to who understand. Best of luck to you. I hope you'll be back to sleeping through the night soon!

hi D., i love that you are so sensitive to your little boy's needs. like you i think that CIO has a place, but i also don't think it can be universally applied and in this case i wouldn't stick with it either. it sounds as if he is genuinely upset and truly needs your reassuring loving presence. however, unless you are committed to a family bed i don't think you should go to bringing him into your room, miserable as the prospect of sleeplessness is. he's going through something and it won't last long. i would absolutely go to him, rub his back, hum to him, be with him, reassure him, but don't get him up or even talk much to him, just low-key humming or singing, all done with a 'sleepy' vibe.
good luck!
khairete
S.