I work part time and while I am at work my husbands cousin (that lives 2 minutes from us) takes care of my 2 yr old son and 2 month old son. She is a dream. Extremely affectionate, caring, loving & attentive. She only cares for my 2 so I shouldn't complain, but I am bothered that she answers when my son says 'Mommy'. He walks around saying 'Mommy' all the time, but I am not happy with the fact that she answers to it! When I was there one day and he called her Mommy I corrected him and she went along with it, so I thought we had an understanding. The very next day she answered when he said 'Mommy'. I was fuming, but I didn't want to approach her about it in fear of hurting her feelings. So the very next morning I asked her if she could correct him because I don't want him walking around thinking every woman is Mommy and she totally dismissed it! She says eventually he will get it and not to worry, but yet she STILL answers to 'Mommy'!! Am I over reacting? How can I approach her without looking like a spoiled witch?
I appreciate all of your responses =) Your help has made me see things in a different prespective. It's true I should count my blessings that I have someone that takes such great care of my boys and that I don't have to have them in a daycare with complete strangers.
Thank You sooooo much for your advise =)
I understand the feelings you are having and possibly even feeling a little guilty that you work at all. But you are doing what is best for your family. You are lucky to have a very caring sitter for your kids. She really should have from the beginning said to your son "I'm not your mommy silly" but she didn't. I wouldn't say anything to her now because you don't want her to quit. So take it with a smile and know you are there only mommy!
I watch my frined's little girl (along with my 3 kids) and she calls me mommy-M.. It was a better alternative to just "mommy". That way her real mommy was "mommy" but I was still a sort of second mom to her- I do love her as one of my own :)
M.
Agree with everyone. My son calls mom to my mom and mother in law. There is only one mother and that is YOU. Maybe it is jealousy whta you are feeling.
best
Hi J.,
I understand it must be very difficult to hear your son call someone else mommy. I agree with your previous responses. My daughter calls all older persons abo and aba like she does her grandparents. I think at this time it is a generic term for older person, but I know she recognizes her grandma and grandpa she just has not developed enough vocabulary to distinguish. This may be what is happening with you. Do not focus on this too much, don't lose sight of how lucky you are to have someone so special caring for your child while you are at work. What a blessing to know your child is loved and cared for, this is what you should take away from your situation and feel very very lucky. Don't make your sitter feel bad about it, you want her to feel as good as can be when left to care for your children. Let your feelings of guilt subside, you are doing a great job for your family. I have no doubt your child knows exactly who mommy is!
take it easy!
N.
My son calls all women, his father and his pacifier, "Mommy". I don't mind that other people respond to "mommy" b/c in general, they are mommies. I remember as a little girl, I would often call my teachers "mommy"...it happens. You are the child's MOTHER, feel confident in that and appreciate that "mommy" is a term of endearment, that your child is a loving person and thinks that your name is the equivalent to all that is good and wonderful!
I know that you are hurt by this and your feelings are warrented, but know that you could never be replaced. In some cultures all caregivers are known as mommy, but the children will always know who their "MOMMY" is. I wouldn't worry so much about it, especially since she is not there 24/7 but only part time. My daughter is two as well and is still working on her language skills. Your two year old may equate the word mommy with anyone who takes care of him.
Your cousin probably feels so honored that your child calls her mommy, however if you've asked her to stop then I think she could honor your request. Perhaps ask her to make up a name that only your child and her could use...like mimi or aunti...or something. I would be hesitant to correct in front of your child, but to address the situation when the children are away so as to not upset the two year old. I would hate to lose a great caregiver over an issue like this because it isn't as if she is hurting the child. But any childcare giver should honor your feelings. Talk to your husband too and atleast let him know of the situation so that it doesn't cause a big blow up on his side of the family. Maybe he can give you some insight as well on the family back ground. (although if he is anything like my husband, he will not think anything is as big of a deal as it is!) :)
