My Son Is 12 Has Trouble Paying Attention in School, What Do I Do?

He needs more than toutoring and testing, he needs an evaluation. First, I would suggest that you call a Board Certified Child Psychiatrist, and get the name of a Neuropsychologist, make an appointment with both. Take your full Neuropsychological evaluation to the psychaitarist and if needed, have them give you a treatment plan. Aslo, call a speech and language therapist and get an evalaution of his receptive langage and processing skills.

If your son attends public school, also write a letter to the special education department and request an evaluation because you suspect that your child has a disablity and has an educational need. You should be sent an inviatation to a meeting to determine what he needs to be evaluated for, do not say a diagnosis, but, you want him evaluatate for IQ, processing skills, attention, speech and langauage (partucularly Receptive langague) and all academic areas, both with Normative evaluations for all academic areas and criterion referenced testing that will give you a grade level for each and every subject, and sub subject (IE, not just reading, but reading fluency, reading comprehension, spelling, writing speed, writing fluency, etc-any area you know is a problem) Do not be "broad" or he will be given "broad" assessments that will not tell you much.

You need both.

M.

Get both a private evaluation and an evaluation at public school if he attends public school. He is not elegible for serivices unless there is an educational need for them and there is a disablity that qualifies him. He can get a lesser 504 plan if he does not have educational needs because of his disablity, but that does not sound like it is the case. First things first, call and make your private appointments, and write to the school for an evaluation. Use the lanaguage I gave you, that will trigger the evaluation. If you have any issues, go to www.wrightslaw.com and start reading about advocacy. You need both evaluations because the school is not responsible for diagnosising your child's medical needs, and attention can be medical. You need the educational part of this evaluation to keep the school honest, and such that you never know less about your child than any public agency. Good luck. MR

One more edit: He cannot have OT at school without having a full special education evaluation becaue they suspect that he has a disablity, and he has an educational need. If he does not have both a qualifying disablity and an eduational need for special education, then he cannot have OT because OT is a related service to special education. SPD is not a qualifying diagnosis for special education, even if the child has an educational need for special education. Schools do not evaluate for this disorder. You should not be going to the school or the doctor saying "I think my son has 'such and such' anyway. You go to the doctor, and you say, my son does X,Y,Z and P,D,Q and you write to the school and say the same, and that you suspect that he has a disablity, and that his issues cause educational need. Leave the diagnositics and qualifications to the experts. MR

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Have him evaluated by a medical specialist for ADHD-inattentive type. A specialist like a child psychiatrist, neuropsychologist or developmental pediatrician (not a regular one) is most qualified to evaluate and determine what might be going on.

I agree with the pp that he should also be evaluated for possible hearing disabilities.

He isn't doing this deliberately, so it's time to pursue the medical help he needs.

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You need to have his ears checked, vision and whatever else.
Has he had an annual Doctor exam recently?

He is not 'hearing' properly.
He actually said this.
So, get him to a Specialist, and have his ears checked.

Also have his eyes/vision, checked.

Tutors, are good, but they can't help him medically.

Or maybe he is Dyslexic.

The thing is, the First thing to do, is check his hearing/vision/and take him to the Doctor.
Tell the Pediatrician, what is going on.
That should be the first, step.

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I agree with hearing and vision tests. Then, contact the school and have him evaluated for everything. I can't believe that he's gotten to this point and none of his teachers have ever recommended special help. Did the school know anything of the tests from 3rd grade? If he has learning disabilities, he is eligible for special help in school.

Good luck. Don't give up...you have to be the best and most committed advocate for your son so that he gets the best possible education. D.

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Did you have his hearing tested?

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His school should have someone who can help him figure out what's happening and get him some help. It's great that he can describe what happens when he's in class. There are probably specific ways to work through his difficulties and help him become a better student. Good luck to him.

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One of the first things you can do is ask that he be moved to the front of every one of his classes. It will help him see and hear better. It will also cut down on any distractions..

Then do as the moms have suggested and start his appt. for eyes and ears, then consider having him evaluated. There are so many different ways that people learn. Once you know what DOES work for your son, the more proactive and aware all of you will be for his future.

You all will figure it out.

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Look into his diet for possibilities. Check out www.feingold.org. It's made a world of difference in our life. Our daughter only had about 1/2 of the symptoms helped, and yet when we implemented it, everyone could see the huge change in her. It's a great community too if it's something you want/need to do.

H.

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Evidentally he has been noticed being like this for a veery long time and yet the school hasn't scheduled any of these tests. Good or bad,I have some alternate suggestions. For one thing I'd figure out someway what he eats (yes, really). I work in a middle school and oftentimes students are absolutely listless after lunchtime. In fact I have heard that they used to schedule Math and Science in mornings (not so anymore) because afternoon brings on the tiredness. I would suggest that instead of labeling him, having him have hearing or eye deficiencies (although that helps) since no one was in a hurry to do much about it before other than you ( AND BELIEVE ME when they want to, teachers request all sorts of things right down to testing and consequences). I suggest you take some baby steps, get on the same page with him and discuss first his diet (no cheating on that-the kids trade candy bars and apples all the time). Then also get him checked for low blood sugar, diabetes, etc. And silly, here goes step up on peanut butter, iron , etc. cereal and multiple vitiamin, and you know all the rest. The point is not paying attention and cannot pay attention are two different things. Does he know how to pay attention on the computer, video games, music, etc? If he does it is not necessarily an attention deficit. And sorry, let's face it, truthfully lots of the subject twelve year olds might be listening to are really not exciting. Not that Copernicus wasn't cool in his day, but well...even I have been known to hear the blah,blhah, blah...good luck!

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you could get an Occupational Therapy evaluation done at the school It could be a number of things, including (and often overlooked) a sensory integration issue. It affect many of us. (School has to cover it, btw)
Could also be hearing, or vision, or allergies. An OT is a great first way to look at him as an entire person.

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He could have a learning disability and need to be in a classroom where there are only a few students and he could get the extra attention he needs. He could be ADD and need medication or a herbal alternate to deal with that. Since you didn't say what the test was or who did the testing it is hard to say. He may need a pyschological to determine if he has a learning disability. You need to tell his doctor that he has a major problem paying attenttion and tell him what your son said about it sounding like the teacher on Charlie Brown. This is all information the doctor need to determine what specialist to send him to for further testing. Both my sons were ADD and once on meds their attention improved and the teachers could deal with them. Unfortunately their grades didn't improve because they just would not do the homework and felt that if they aced the test they should pass.
You need to get him help now so that he can be successful in HS. My daughter has a learning disability and we got her help in 6th grade and now that she is in HS her GPA is always at least a 3.0 and she feels so much better about herself and her learning. She will tell you that she struggles with reading but she is so much better and gets the extra help she needs.

is he on any new medication by any chance? Even antibiotics can mess things up but so can steroids big time cause this, does he have nay sensory issues? Sensory integration or modulation? Organizing difficulties? i would ask the pedatrician to lead you in one way to start, you can alwo have him privated tested with a neuropsychologist who will test his best way he learns and his iq etc, could be processing , could be a number or learning difficulties. So many things, do hearing and vision, then change any astham or meds he is on or wean him off if possible, have him tested by a well know dr or company but sometimes the compaines that do this sort of thing are not covered by insurance, you can also find a retired LD teacher who can come to be his tutor who know how to help him not just get him by...who tested him the school? Schools suck and will do the least amount of work they have to help him get a real dr to test him and then when the dr writes up the report the school has to follow it or they will get sued!

Updated

is he on any new medication by any chance? Even antibiotics can mess things up but so can steroids big time cause this, does he have nay sensory issues? Sensory integration or modulation? Organizing difficulties? i would ask the pedatrician to lead you in one way to start, you can alwo have him privated tested with a neuropsychologist who will test his best way he learns and his iq etc, could be processing , could be a number or learning difficulties. So many things, do hearing and vision, then change any astham or meds he is on or wean him off if possible, have him tested by a well know dr or company but sometimes the compaines that do this sort of thing are not covered by insurance, you can also find a retired LD teacher who can come to be his tutor who know how to help him not just get him by...who tested him the school? Schools suck and will do the least amount of work they have to help him get a real dr to test him and then when the dr writes up the report the school has to follow it or they will get sued!

call sylavans they helped my son tremendously. he is doing this cause he doesnt understand. it is a possibility he is adhd but It sound to me more like he doesnt understand so why try. also with the peanuts comment I am wondering if he has an ear infection or fluid maybe. think about it all charlie brown heard was blah blah blah. so if he is hearing blah blah blah he is not going to learn no matter how many tutors you pay its not going to help. learning may be a challenge but if there is something causing the challenge and you fix it ex fluid in his ears the challenge goes away. it will take him a while to catch up but he will get there get him to the doctor he is trying to tell you something and isnt wording it right. if he has fluid or some type of hearing loss he may hear you but cant hear the pitch of the teacher. ex mine hears daddy but not me. have him moved to the front of the classes also. ask him if the charlie brown thing happens only at school or everywhere and if he is hearing what charlie brown is hearing blah blah blah? make it in terms he can relate to. maybe he will say the teacher is blah blah blah and you are blah blah blah and daddy isnt. if you get an ex like this its in his ears. it may be as minor as an undetected ear infection he doesnt realize he has and yes this can happen or he may have fluid which is a minor thing also and you may find out it is worse than he can describe. think about it like this if he is having ear problems with the blah blah blah and if you have never heard right how do you know its wrong. you have heard right you know right from wrong like something is wrong with my hearing. but if that is all he has ever heard fluid is like hearing underwater. if that is all he has ever heard then to him that is normal. where you know that is not normal but cant understand what he is telling you. get him to a doc and my suggestion would be at least have him looked at by a ent.

Hi C.: Have you had him tested for ADD/ADHD?? My 11-year-old fifth grader has had issues since first grade, but no one ever mentioned ADD to me. After a horrendous year last year, I finally found a family counselor - since he was having such anger issues and his grades were falling like crazy. She thought I should have him professionally tested. They go through a long, thorough process, which of course my son hated! But we finally had a diagnoses of ADD/Expressive Language Disorder. The school has to give you an IEP (if you are in public schools) and it has made a HUGE difference. We also met with our pediatrician and put him on medication. It was trial and error, but we finally have the right dosage. The turn around has been incredible. He has gone from being a terrible behavior problem and hating school, to really enjoying it and getting mostly As and Bs. Not to mention how much better our family life has become. We don't have to spend hours doing his homework anymore and the fighting has all but gone away. It is really a huge difference.

And one thing to keep in mind, not all kids need medication. Some kids just need counseling and some assistance and that will make the difference.

I would recommend you start with your school counselor. I talked to her and got recommendations for counseling in our area.

Best thing I ever did.

Good luck!

C.

is he on any new medication by any chance? Even antibiotics can mess things up but so can steroids big time cause this, does he have nay sensory issues? Sensory integration or modulation? Organizing difficulties? i would ask the pedatrician to lead you in one way to start, you can alwo have him privated tested with a neuropsychologist who will test his best way he learns and his iq etc, could be processing , could be a number or learning difficulties. So many things, do hearing and vision, then change any astham or meds he is on or wean him off if possible, have him tested by a well know dr or company but sometimes the compaines that do this sort of thing are not covered by insurance, you can also find a retired LD teacher who can come to be his tutor who know how to help him not just get him by...who tested him the school? Schools suck and will do the least amount of work they have to help him get a real dr to test him and then when the dr writes up the report the school has to follow it or they will get sued!