My Son Has ADHD - Santa Fe,NM

K.,

I agree with looking at his diet, but I also think that trying a course of medication to help him learn a routine in not a bad thing. It may give you all a little time to research other options and build a routine that works for everyone. The worst part of having ADD/ADHD is that it hurts thier self esteem. I am looking for an alternative to the Adderall that my daughter currently takes, but I also see the improvement in her since she started taking it. I don't believe we should just medicate her and that will be the end of it. I want to find a way to help her control her own self, to take control.

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I agree w/ what most have said. The internet has a lot of behavioral and diet ideas. One thing you said caught me: "I could also use some ideas as to how to discipline him when his behavior gets out of control." While you may have just typed the question quickly and not really thought about it, it reminded me of something I learned while studying at the University to be an educator. They told us to always discipline BEFORE the students or children reached the "top" or made us hit our breaking point. In other words, disciplining "when his behavior gets out of control" is too late. It is SO EASY (I know, because I do it all the time) to wait and procrastinate in frustration until the kid(s) absolutely drive you nuts, and then discipline. Decide on some point during which the child is going "the wrong direction" or not doing what you would like that you will discipline before BOTH OF YOU lose control. Even if you feel like, "I don't like what he's doing right now, but I can handle it,"--discipline then. Hope that made sense... And discipline doesn't have to be something mean--the word gets a bad rap. Try reading "Parenting with Love & Logic" for examples of great, firm discipline without anger or without even becoming the bad guy. This is kind of general advice rather than ADHD-specific, but I've found good general tactics are usually good for those with special needs as well--in fact, even more necessary. Good luck! ADHD can be a condition that wears on the parents the most.

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Kim,

When I was 40 years old, I was diagnosed with ADD. So take my advise as that from a parent, a teacher, and someone who lives with something similar to ADHD. For you son's sake, explore ideas about medication therapy. The thing you want to make sure of is that he is not over-medicated, but some medication may help him. As a teacher who has taught ADD and ADHD students (sometimes exclusively) you want your son to be able to focus and you want to limit the times when he becomes agitated because of his frustration with himself. You also want to make sure that his condition is NOT something he will see as the "thing that is wrong with me". You need to make sure you devise ways for your son to achieve so that his confidence in his own wonderful talents and abilities isn't damaged.

As an adult with ADD, I can tell you that the medication I take (ritalin) helps me continue to be a high-functioning individual in spite of my condition. What you need to explore through research and questioning of his doctors is "What is right for my son?"

As a teacher, I have seen kids on no meds, kids on some meds, and kids on too much meds. It's seriously important to get the right thing for your child. All children are different and ADHD is not a condition where every diagnosis means the same thing. Each child is unique and so each treatment choice must fit that particular child. Be very careful, ask as mnay questions as you can, and don't be put off by any physician who gets offended by your questions. They don't always know what's best, and any doctor who is upset with you for questioning his suggestions has an ego problem anyway.

Just don't let it go on too long. You don't want your son to hate school or hate learning. That's the really important part.

Good luck,

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My advice to you is to use the services at your son's school and ask for him to have an occupational therapy evaluation. If he is approved for these services, the OT can provide you him with a very comprehensive therapy program and could provide you with many resources within your community to provide family support.

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I wish I knew the cure! I am also a single parent with a son whom has ADHD, I have been to hell and back with him, with the same problems that you are going through. My son is now 16 years old and things are starting to get better. My only advice is to find the right doctor and the right med's. Make sure that your home life has a routine and that is practiced daily. The more their life is the same with NO surprises the better.When discipling him give him the choice:EX If you continue to behave this way I (you) will have to take away a privlage for that day, you know whatever it is that is important to him with my son it was the phone. Just keep doing that after about one week, his behavior improved greatly.At school you should have a meeting and demand that they give your son the extra attention that he needs and desires. You know its not easy having ADHD! Their world is so much different. Learn as much as you can about it and try walking in their shoes just for one day. It will help you better understand them. Good Luck! It does get better with age! I promise!
M. from New Mexico

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Hi K.,

I have been teaching for almost 7 years(preschool and kindergarten) and have run into my fair share of these sorts of issues with my kids. Some things to think about are his diet, his routines, and the things he likes to do. Sometimes too much of something in a person's diet will have negative effects, such as sugar. Are his routines consistent? Does he know what is expected of him? What does he like doing?? is there a way to work that into his routines or as something he can earn with desired behavior?? what are his teachers saying? just some things to think about...be happy to share any ideas that i've tried in my classroom or with my daughter.

hang in there!

E. (single mom in phoenix)

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Hi K.,

I have heard that diet will affect ADHD. I haven't had to look into it, but it is worth a try! I do know that if you add more fruits & veggies to his diet, & cut down on processed food it will help. Not sure if there is other triggers that could help flair up the ADHD. Good luck!

- C.

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Hi, K...my son is 14, almost 15. I noticed there was something different about him at a very early age, and , yes, he had behavior and learning problems, diagnosed at 5 with learning disability. He would climb all over everything and couldn't stay still, could not follow any directives if they had more that 1 step, if even then. He was easily frustrated, thought poorly of himself. I tried limiting sugar, which had some benifit, but finally he was diagnosed with ADHD at 10. I had him in therapy(which also didn't help all that much), and then on an antidepressant from age 8-10, (for depression) but once he came off that we tried several stimulants, and adderall seemed to work best. My son made alot of progress on adderall, as it enabled him to focus better. I stopped giving it to him at age 12, when he told me it was making him depressed.(something that some kids have expereinced when entering puberty on some of these meds.)As a teenager, my son is forgetful, but doing well in school. I became a single parent when my son was 7, and I noted that when I remarried 4 years later, that also had a positive influence on him.I wish you all the best...and medications are sometimes the leg-up that the child needs in order to get some focus, but limiting sugar, caffeine, junk food, T.V. and getting plenty of exercise aught to come first. sincerely, C..

I hope this might help, my 19 year old son was diagnosed in kindergarden and put on meds he hated the way they made him feel so he stopped when he got older. My brothers girl was also diagnosed at an early age and used meds a short time then they took her off and started giving her a cup of coffee in the morning and enrolled her in Marshal Arts to learn self control, today she is a mother of two girls and doing very well, she still has to keep control of herself but she knows it. The meds are stemuliants that work on the part of the brain that controlls your actions (so you think before running into the street) and sence coffee is also a stemuliant it sometimes has the same effect.
D.

K.,

Make sure you take him to see a pediatricneurologist for a 2nd opinion. I do believe if his behavior is affecting his school environment trying meds might not be a bad idea, but I would not do anything until you get that 2nd opinion and get a good psychiatrist to work with for counseling. My son was 9 when he was diagnosed and we discovered that he was actually bipolar, so when they changed his meds he was much more successful. ADHD is a difficult disability for your child, as well as you, and there are support groups that can be saving grace for the days you feel really frustrated. One thing I find working with Special Education students is that written contracts that the kids have an input into for rewards and consequences is a great approach to helping them modify their own behavior and take responsibility for learning to adapt to their surrounds. Good luck and I will keep you in prayer. Eve

Hi K., I agree with several of the responses you have received concerning the connection between diet and ADD/ ADHD. My son never showed any sighn of these problems until he got to Kindergarten and only then did he have problems after they had their afternoon snack. The teachersaid he was great when he got there at 12:30, but after snack he could not keep his hands to himself. We never gave him fruit snack and onlt occasionally did he get candy, so I never made the connection until my sister sent me an article from a Dr. concerning the connection between red and yellow food dye, preservatives etc that are found in many of the food, that 30yrs ago weren't there. I am also a Spec. Educ. Tcher and ADHD/ADD were not as prevalent 30 yrs ago as they are today. We took my son off all red dyes and eat organic food as much as we can. I have also noticed a connection between the perservatives like BHT that are found in many food and his behavior and attitued. Look up BHT on the internet and you'll find that it is associated with liver and stomach cancer in animals, ADD/ADHD behaviors in people, depression other stuff. My son is a totally different person when he has any of this stuff. Since he is now 9 it can be harder to monitor all that he eats ( friends give him candy) and we can definetly tell when he has eaten something that he shouldn't. It is hard for him because he feels like he is missing out on all the candy, but we just found a website for organic candy. Read the labels the dyes are is a lot of things you wouldn't expect, ie pillsbury crescent roll red dye #40) Anything that has mixed topherols as aperservative is okay because that is just vitamin E. We also give my son Omega 3-6-9 Junio from Nordic Naturals, which you can find at Sprouts or SunFlower MArkets. We were told not to get the generic stuff because it might contain mercury. Hope This Helps.

Also make sure your son is getting enough sleep. He should still be getting 10-11 hours of sleep a night. Lack of sleep is another cause of ADD/ADHD behaviors because their mind is trying to stay awake. Just think what happens to you when you are tired and you sit down, you want to nod off, so you get up, move around, tap your finger, feet inorder to stay awake, just like kids do in school. Make sure he is getting enough time to run around ourside as well, Kids need to be active. Know a days kids are lucky if they get 15 minutes of recess once a day, that is truely not enough especially for boys. My kids bike to school and get there as soon as the gates open so they have an extra 15-25 minutes to play in the morning.

All my kids go to bed by 7pm and they are up between 6-6:30 in the morning it gives then plently of time to get ready w/o feeling rushed which can cause anxiety and frustration on the kids and me.

C.

Hi K.. My kids don't have ADD or ADHD but I have quite a few friends that do. There is something to be said about nutrition. I have seen amazing results with their children taking a product called Reliv. Call me and I will try to get you in touch with them. I have heard many children get help with Austism as well. Those stories just touch my heart. I would love to try and help. ###-###-####

J.

Hi K.,

I have a son who was diagnosed at 3 nearly 4 with ADHD. I bought a book that my friend recommended called the ADD Answer. It is a great book that will help you with specific things to try in different situations. This book will give you answers! It also has a chapter on nutrition. Children with ADHD and ADD seem to have a negative reaction to dyes in food. I have really taken a close look at the sugar intake and cut that down drastically but more importantly we are cutting out unnatural dyes. He can only have white or chocolate Milk (no sugar added chocolate mix). When we buy cupcakes I have him pick the ones with white frosting. I have told him that the colors will hurt his belly and make him sick so he chooses the more natural alternatives. This seems to be helping quite a bit. Also as far as discipline goes, you must be consistent and he must, must, must have very clear boundaries. Tell him what to do rather than what not to do. For instance, you might say "we don't throw dirt or rocks outside", instead say "the dirt stays with the dirt and the rocks stay with the rocks". I highly recommend that book because it really gives you things to try, actual answers to what do I do know? Good luck to both you and your son. I am sure that you will tackle this problem together and be stronger from the experience. Feel free to contact me if you have any other questions or concerns or if you just want to talk.

S.

I highly recommend reading "Healing ADD" by Daniel G. Amen, M.D. His website is amenclinics.com. Also, nativeremedies.com has homeopathic supplements for ADHD.

I know exactly what you are going through. I have 2 kids that are ADHD and have tried everything imaginable. The only thing that has made my life lifable with them is medicine. We have tried like 15 medicines and finally found one that works for both. It is called Adderal. I thought medicine was a bad idea also but now I look back it is easier.

You should look at your son's diet. Try cutting red dye #40 out of his diet. Food, candy, soda, tylenol, cereal, ice pops, and alot of food has red dye in it. This could be contruibuting to his bad behavior. Seriously i know it sounds silly, but try it look at everything he eats. And remember, you can buy dye free coolaid, ice pops and even medicin. My daughter reacts badly to red dye and a lot of childeren are mis diagnosed with adhd. Medication may be nessisarry, but try this first you may be surprised!! Oh ya and purple and blue food and candy, and fruit snacks have red in them. Think about it what color does every kid pick? Red…. My daughter has grown out of it, but she still knows that she needs to pick the green lolypop over the red one. And she just tells people she is alergic to red dye. It realy does make a difference.

About me, i am a mom of 3 girls. Good luck!! Dena

My son was diagnosed with ADD when he was in 6th grade. Dr. suggested medication, I opposed. I didn't think that was the answere. Yes, It was tough, but I was patient. I surprised him a few times, by sitting in class with him. I thought all these years would have gone to waste because his grades where not that great. One thing I remember he was good at reading directions to building his k'nex games. It was amazing how he could sit there for hours and build. You have to challenge these kids,these kids are very smart in their own ways. So far so good my son is attending his first year of college. He is taking calculus,and other high level classes. He never thought he could do so good in college, A's and B's. He was discourage of all he went through with his teachers, conduct and behavior. He now knows the importance of a higher education. I am very proud of him. He wants to become an Engineer. I pray he continues to do good. Don't give up, kids will be kids without meds. Someday it will all be good and rewarding.

Structure and routine are important for all kids, but especially for kids with ADHD who have a difficult time creating order for themselves. So try to help make an orderly and predictable environment and make routines for everything until they become habits, like what he should do in the morning to get ready for school. Make a list and help him do it every day in the same order so it becomes second nature to him. He probably has a hard time focusing, and needs it to become habitual.

I'm a member of www.FLYlady.net, which really helps me keep my house clean and keep routines and have a healthy attitude towards it all. It's geared towards adults getting their homes and lives in order, but she provides a "control journal" for children to keep track of their homework, chores, etc, on their own without their parents nagging, which might really help. Kids (and husbands!) automatically resist us when we're telling them what to do, even if it's for their own good. The student control journal helps them stay organized and establish routines. Here's the link to the control journal: http://www.flylady.net/images/student_CJ.pdf#search=%22st

Hi K., My daughter, who is now 14, was diagnosed with adhd when she was 2, we do not believe in medicating either, so we put her on a natural product, called Mannatech. You can go to their website and do some research. It does take a good 3 to 4 months to kick in. It has helped tremendously. It is kind of expensive, but it's better than medication. Let me know if there is anything else you need. Discipline, we just did a lot of taking the things she likes away.
S.

I know of a few parents who have approached ADHD from a dietary point of view. One discovered her daughter was sensitive to red food coloring and sugar and once she was off of it, she was a "normal" kid. I know it may seem hard to believe, but it may be worth looking into. Surf the web for more ideas along those lines, I'm sure you'll find more on this alternative school of thought. Perhaps your doctor, chiropractor or a pediatric chiropractor can help too. I understand about not wanting to go down the road of medication and unfortunately some doctors are too quick to write out prescriptions. Good luck.

This sounds a little like one of my brothers. My Mom didn't want to put him on medicine either. She tried not to let him eat a lot of sugar. She also kept in close touch with his teachers...to see if there was anything that she could be doing at home to help out. As far as discipline went she just tried to be loving, firm and consistent. But not to hard on him so he would rebel.
I used to work at a day care and had 2 boys that had ADHD and took medicine. I would sometimes forget to give them their medicine since there were several other kids in my class...the boys would act up and then blame it on the fact that they didn't get their medicine. They became dependent on it and then wouldn't take responsibility for their actions.
I hope this helps at least a little bit. Good luck :)

hi K.,
my son is add, councelors have made it as a positive way to look at the world. i teach and practice yoga and have been anti-medicine for years. unfortunately my son's quality of life was not good. he knew he was different then most and at times it was like working with a child who was handicap...i chose to try medication when he said, "mom, everything is hard for me, everything." and it was true. he couldn't make it walking across the room to put his dishes at the sink without getting distracted, taking his dishes to his room and not even realizing it. living in a fantasy world of books, movies and video games, i had trouble relating to him. conversations were non-sequedor and i most of the time had no idea what he was talking about. he has been diagnosed by two different counselors without hesitation. he is 11 years old and has begun to take adderall. we started at a very low dose and didn't see any difference. we bumped it up to 10mg which is apperantly still a low dosage. he is still the same kid yet is able to handle every day situations. you'd never be able to tell he's on this drug, yet if you knew him previously, like his teachers there's a huge positive change. when i ask him about it, he says he doesn't feel any different. we've been playing around with the dosage and after two months think we've got it. so know we will be arranging classes that will help him learn skills to deal with add so he can eventually transition of the meds. i feel for you, it's such a hard decision and there's so much contraversy and pressure around the subject....let me know if you're in town i've got some great resources. G.

K.,
"Children are being more harmed by poor diet than by exposure to alcohol, drugs and tobacco combined." Dr. David Katz, Yale School of Public Health - The Wall Street Journal, 3/10/04

Much research supports our diet is related to many diseases and disorders! Oven Baked Foods did an experiment in Appleton, Wisconsin, with troubled kids. They took out all the junk food and sodas and replaced their diet with fruits and vegetables, whole grains and filtered water. The result is truly amazing. Visit this link:
http://www.chattanoogahealth.com/Articles/2138/1/A_Miracl...
for the whole story. I am passionate about childrens health. That is my business, educating parents, individuals and families on how to have diet and lifestyle be your number one health strategy.

If you are looking for a natural, healthy way. Make changes to your diet. Tucson has an ADD and ADHD specialist who recommends the same. You can visit his website at www.doctornewmark.com. He also does health education lectures for us and recommends a whole food supplement, as does Dr. William Sears, www.asdrsears.com.
Please call me for information on the whole food supplement these and many doctors recommend and please come to our health education lecture on March 4 in Phoenix to learn more. And, have your pediatrician refer you to specialist, Dr. Newmark.
S. Fritz
866-508-2910

I second a previous suggestion. If there is any way that the child could be brought to see Dr. Sandy Newmark, he could evaluate his individual case and probably help a lot.
And her is what Dr. Andrew Weil had to say to a person writing in about possible herbs for ADD/ADHD from the www.drweil.com website.

Question: Herbs for ADD?
Are there any natural herbs that could be used instead of the Ritalin drugs psychiatrists often prescribe for Attention Deficit Disorder in children? What about foods?
Answer: (Published 10/8/2002)

Updated on 7/12/2005

Ritalin, a stimulant, remains the most common treatment for Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), also called Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Paradoxically, with ADHD the drug has a calming effect, apparently because it stimulates parts of the brain that regulate activity and attention. While it can have excellent results in some cases, I think it is greatly over-prescribed.

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I'm not aware of any herbal treatment for ADHD, except possibly coffee, which may work like Ritalin for some patients. My colleague, pediatrician Sandy Newmark, M.D., confirms that no herbs have been found effective for treating the main or "core" symptoms of ADHD - that is, lack of focused attention that often leads to poor school performance. And he doesn't think coffee is a good long-term solution. However, Dr. Newmark notes that herbs can help with some of the associated symptoms. For example, valerian tea can help youngsters with sleeping problems and St. John's wort can help relieve depression. For children under 12, use half the adult dosage.

Dr. Newmark does recommend an omega-3 fatty acid supplement for all children with ADHD, because levels of omega-3s in the plasma and red blood cells of children with ADHD are lower than in non-ADHD children. He also recommends that youngsters with ADHD take a quality multivitamin (Dr. Newmark recommends InVite for Kids Multivitamin and an omega-3 product appropriate to the child's age and individual situation) as well as a good probiotic, a product that contains "friendly" bacteria that can stabilize the digestive tract. You can find milk-free brands in health-food stores. I recommend those such as "Culturelle" that contain Lactobacillus GG.

Make sure that the underlying cause of your child's disruptive behavior really is ADHD, and that he or she isn't acting out difficulties at home or expressing frustration with a learning disability. Be sure to rule out hearing or vision problems, allergies, depression, or even boredom in a gifted child.

As far as foods are concerned, while there's no evidence that a dietary approach helps in all cases, a 1993 Cornell University study found that eliminating dairy products, wheat, corn, yeast, soy, citrus, eggs, chocolate, peanuts, and artificial colors and preservatives seemed to decrease ADHD symptoms. An earlier study showed that a low-allergen diet supplemented with calcium, magnesium, zinc and vitamins produced favorable results.

Andrew Weil, M.D.