My Friend Needs Help..... - Memphis,TN

well, it's definitely a hard one to answer as either one of them could potentially be the father. the most likely one would be the first one since it was unprotected, however, the second one is also plausible because you don't know whether or not something went "wrong" (faulty condom, etc.). she won't know for sure unless they do an amneo & test it against both of their DNA or alternatively wait until the baby is born & then do a mouth swab (much less painful & much less risky).

more importantly, i would ask your friend why is she having unprotected sex if she isn't in a monogamous relationship where the man would be willing to take care of the child if she were to get pregnant? and i would definitely tell her to go get tested for HIV & all the STDs because pregnancy may be the least of her worries at this point.

i'm sorry to rant. i just used to teach this in college and i've seen a few girls who got themselves in trouble (an STD & even HIV) trusting the guy that he's "clean" or telling me how "it feels better without" or "oh it just happened". For the sake of your friend, I hope it all works out. Good luck!

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Unless something happened with the condoms, like coming off or being punctured. The unprotected sex partner would be the father.

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Three days after her period she would have been ovulating. That would have been around the 10th day of her cycle. I would say it is 99.9% his. Because she was ovulating and had unprotected sex. I have gotten pregnant with all 3 of my children on the around the 10th day of my cycle. Could be wrong in her case though. If the condom did not break then it would not be the other guys. Some people do not have the typical 28 day cycle. My cycle is only around 22 to 23 days. I also have friends who have 23 to 24 day cycles. Everyone is different.

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First off your friends needs a talking to on how one gets STD's and loose morals. 2nd why did she test for pregnancy 1 week before her period was due? 3rd how does she know she's only 3 weeks preg? I suggest she seek counseling as either guy could be the father so close together

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Stephanie W. has given you clear advice. Morals are not the issue here. Being honest about the paternity is an issue. I know your friend is embarrassed, but she is going to have to accept the reality of her situation. She needs to be honest with both men (they don't have to know who each other are)and explain that after the baby is born she will ask for a paternity test.
Or she doesn't have to tell either of them and she can have her baby independently.
There is the possibility one or the other of the men may be thrilled and want to be involved with the baby.

As her friend, I would recommend that she not have intimate contact (limited social contact) with either man again until she is further along in her pregnancy. She should not discuss this until it is clear that she is not going to miscarry. There is quite the chance that it may not be viable past a few weeks.

Counsel her to remember that the embarrassment and distress she feels now will not be a part of her life forever.

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well that is a given answer duh

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I agree with all of the other respondents ideas and suggestions.
In addition, however, is the possibility that her original period was a "pregnant" period. She could have been pregnant this entire time from someone with whom she had sex the previous month. A doctor can determine the size of her uterus.
She needs to decide if she wants to survive her baby's childhood. This is very risky, foolish behavior on her part.

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If the condom was used correctly - then more than likely the father is the guy who used no protection. If used correctly condoms can be very effective in the prevention of pregnancy.

I don't know what her relationship is with either of these men, but she will need your encouragement and emotional support to tell them the truth. I suggest that she not tell them face to face if she is alone - just in case they express anger and try to hurt her. She is in an embarrassing predicament, but it would be best to tell both men and then have a paternity test done when the baby is born so that everyone involved will know the truth and can move forward not worrying with secrets.

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It could be either one, if the protection was a condom it could have been put on improperly or damaged. As far as I remember your best days to conceive are near the center of your cycle. Could your friend have gotten pregnant before her cycle? I had two pregnancies that I had a cycle at the beginning.

Please also talk to your friend about her risky behavior! She could contract numerous STD's or HIV. I did not realize this until we went through it with my cousin. Risky sexual behavior can be a sign of depression. She was like a dog in heat trying to get with anyone who had the right equipment. When she got pregnant she had a mental collapse and put into a hospital to get the right help. It all came out.

I will pray for your friend and hopefully she will understand that this behavior is very unsafe!

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First off, she is having sex with multiple partners, very risky business. She needs to go to planned parenthood, and get them to educate her. She can also get a book, or go on line. My thought about pg, is the Un protected sex. However, only a dna test will show for sure. Why didn't she take the morning after pill? Why is she having unprotected sex? If she is coming to you, help her to see the light.

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Hi, Unless the other guy that used the protection had a hole in the condom or if it broke then I would think it would be the guy that didn't use any protection. I hope this helps. She can always do a paternity test. J. A.

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Technically it could be either guy, so you need to tell them both what happened. Embarrassing though it may be, that is what you need to do. You might choose to wait a few weeks, since the pregnancy may terminate itself and you may be spared the embarrassment of having that discussion, but otherwise you must tell them both. This is too important of an issue... not a situation in which you can just pick who you think is most likely the father, or who you would rather the father be, etc. Gotta just face the music, get the paternity test done, and go from there. You are not the first woman to find herself in this situation, so don't beat yourself up too much about it. All you can do is make responsible choices now and move forward. Good luck to you!

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There is no way to know. She will have to do paternity testing but she needs to tell both she is pregnant.

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condoms CAN fail but im going to have to go with guy number one on this the chances are higher

Condoms fail just like anything else. Let them both know what happened and wait for the birth and go from there.
My main advice is "Not" to keep secrets from either potential father.
This is something males as well as females should contemplate before sex and not after. Things would have been simpiler all around if someone had chosen to be an adult before-hand.
But...Good luck and God bless

It would depend on how long her menstrual cycles are. If she had the most common a 28 day cycle and ovulates on day 14, then my bet would be guy #2 due to it being closer to day 14 (ovulation). I agree that she needs to tell both guys. I wish her well.

Yikes. It's much more likely to be from the unprotected sex, assuming the condom worked properly. Get her to a crisis pregnancy center where they can help her adopt this innocent baby to people who are ready to be parents and give the child a chance in life.

Oh dear, what an awful situation. I think the answer is obvious though: she is most likely pregnant with the guy's that did not use protection but there is a small chance that it could be the other guys. Her period has nothing to do with it b/c you can get pregnant at any time. Is either guy a boyfriend or are both one night stands?? The next step of what to do is up to her and if she decides to keep it with 'one of the guys' she may end up having to get a DNA test to prove whose it is. Yikes, be there for her, this is not good.

I am thinking that she probably has a less than 28 day cycle (she ovulates before day 14) and that the father is the first guy she had unprotected sex with. My husband and I have been using condoms as our only birth control since my son was born and he is 2.5...and we've never had any problems with them breaking or otherwise failing. I know that condoms can fail, don't get me wrong. But, I'm still going with the first guy!

I would think she would need to tell both these guys and the only way she will ever know for sure is to have the baby tested after it is born along with the guys. She should talk to her OB about DNA testing(and perhaps birth control). You can speculate all you want, but it could be either one.

Think about it, a condom provides 90% protection from pregnancy, no condom provides 0% protection - if woman is pregnant, 90% likely it is the unprotected sex partner, and 10% likely it is the condomed partner. Without a paternity test, however, she will not ever know.