My Child Is Soooo Skinny- How Can I Increase His Calorie Intake!

Don't take any steps until you see the nutritionist. Adding fats (flaxseed oil and whole milk) isn't the healthiest way to add calories. My daughter was underweight for 4 years and we were advised to offer protein and complex carbs before fats.

My daughter is a skinny-mini. She's 9 yrs old and 52 lbs. She's super picky, never been a big eater, AND is on ADHD meds. We do lots of peanut butter. Also, I add non-fat powdered milk to her whole milk-it add no fat, but 80 extra calories and 8 more grams of protein per 1/3 cup of powder.

The KEY words in your post are these:

"I was very skinny as a child and so was my husband."

You almost buried them at the end, but there they are -- your clue to what's probably going on.

Please, please do not let your own feelings that "I'd can't stand to see him so skinny" influence you to the point you drive yourself, him and your husband around the bend.

You don't say if the doctor recommended the nutritionist because the doctor now is concerned about your son's development (though you say earlier that the doctor was not concerned -- which is it?). It's fine to see the nutritionist but also be aware:

Your son possibly has a very, very high metabolism that means he burns things very quickly. Has the doctor ordered any metabolic tests on him? Has the doctor done blood tests or other testing to ensure that he is actually absorbing nutrients when he eats? He should.

There are conditions (celiac disease is one) where a person can eat and not absorb nutrients and end up very thin and undernourished. Or it could be metabolism. But if the doctor is now concerned, the doctor should be ordering tests rather than just bringing in a nutritionist. The nutritionist won't help a whole lot if your son doesn't absorb fat or nutrients from his food.

BUT I want to add: This is not terribly common, and a fast metabolism and tendency to be small and thin are genetically very likely from what you say. If you focus like crazy on his size (assuming he is otherwise healthy, no conditions, absorbing nutrition, etc.) and the issue is simply that he is small and is always going to BE small due to genetics -- you will all lose your minds with doctor visits and poking and prodding. Poke and prod enough to be sure he's OK and to do due diligence, but if he is OK, let it be.

Here's why I offer this: Our friends' son was tiny. Really short and thin as a baby and toddler. And they went to specialist after specialist, and some doctors said nothing's wrong and others scared the heck out of them with "It's such a mystery, we're sending you to yet another program" talk. They pretty much ended up with ulcers from the stress of fearing their son was "failing to thrive." They were stuck by one doctor into a program they learned was actually aimed at teens with eating disorders (their son was a TODDLER at the time--they quickly told that doctor to take a hike). Then finally one doctor actually looked at mom and dad and said at long last: "You are both very short. And dad is short and VERY, very slim (dad could eat pure fat forever and never gain). This is not some condition or problem, this is genetics. Your son is developing fine relative to his own previous benchmarks. Go home."

Tons of doctors, time, and especially stress, to find out that no doctor had really just looked and and questioned mom and dad when treating the son.

I am not saying your son is dandy and you should do nothing. Do get this investigated. But always keep in your mind that your son IS you and your husband, and if you were both "very skinny" children as you note -- that is showing up in him too. You may reach a point where you need to accept that he is small and put aside your own emotional reaction to his size and desire to see him be larger.

First, don't panic. He's just following his genetic make-up but if you want to add calories, think healthy starches and grains.

grilled cheese on whole grain bread
whole grain bread with peanut butter and bananas
whole grain bread dipped in olive oil & balsamic
any pastas, spaghetti, mac-n-cheese
full fat milk, yogurt and cheeses
potatoes with added yummy stuff like cheese and ham
fruit smoothies with flax and cooked oatmeal blended in

Honestly, just take a deep breath. A high metabolism is a healthy, wonderful, enviable thing. Yes, you've gotta get some kind of food into this kid, but as long as he's taking in some kind of nutrients, he's going to be okay.

You may consider a few of the following things. There could be an organic cause to this. Some (treatable) metabolic disorders interfere with the absorption of nutrients, making kids super-skinny. Ask the ped. about a workup. And some dietary sensitivities (not the kind of allergies that cause anaphylactic shock, just sensitivities) do the same thing. I'm wondering in particular about wheat/gluten for your little guy.

One thing I wouldn't do is feed him super-sweet things, just to throw calories at him. That'll spoil his palate for anything else; it's exchanging one problem for another (worse) problem. What I recommend instead is find one or two things he's willing to eat, and have those be his diet. So what if it's boring. Not everyone is a foodie. When I was a teenager, I babysat for a little girl who would only eat plain pasta, with nothing on it. That's it. Well, she went on to go to Yale and now writes for the New York Times. So, not an ideal childhood diet, but no lifelong harm done. My BIL reportedly would only eat 2 things, at all, ever (I forget what they were). He went to Princeton and now works on Wall St. Is still a fussy eater. Some people just are -- it's not the end of the world.

Do you go overboard on the health eating kick? We have 2 children that eat salad, fruit, veggies but also eat cookies or candy. We never made food a big deal or tell them they have to eat something before geting something else. My daughter still has halloween candy left. Because it was never made a big deal, she does not think of it that way. She is almost 3 years old. One morning she work up at 5 am and wanted peas and fruit with hummus. She has a bowl full of cany but hardly ever wants it. Maybe you need to ease up a bit on the healthy thing. I am not saying give Hume tons of junk food, but don't make it completely off lots or a big deal.

Your child sounds fine to me. I was extremely thin as a child; still thin as an adult and I've always been very healthy.

Food is one thing you do NOT want to make such a big deal about. With everything you're doing, you're just setting him up to have an eating disorder. Bulimia and anorexia don't only affect females!!

Good luck!!

My son is the same way but he is getting better at eating and I think he has put on some weight recently. I used to make him a peanut butter banana shake. I would put whole milk, peanut butter, banana, ice and sometimes a little chocolate syrup and just blend it up. He loved it! I would also get him whole fat yogurt. Trader joes has a good one. Avacados are super good. We have also done pediasure but it's been a while since we have needed to. That is what worked for us :)

I wouldn't do the Carnation mix. Too much sugar. I'd buy some high quality protein powder. The kind bodybuilders use to put on weight. Try bodybuilding.com for excellent products and prices. A simple whey protein powder is easy and delicious. What kid doesn't want a chocolate shake? :-)

I've used Spirutein protein powder to help a child gain weight. The vanilla flavor tastes good, it also adds vitamins/minerals along with the protein without too much sugar. I mix it with milk, and then can add a squirt of choc syrup, or a little fruit if you like and mix it with a blender. A scoop of ice scream added is even better. Don't use the "whey" or the "gold" varieties as they taste awful, but the regular (original) tastes good. I buy it at our local coop, and it is available online also.

http://www.naturesplus.com/spirutein/

Added: I've also consumed this product almost every day for breakfast and sometimes before a workout for years. I'm at a normal weight and need a little extra protein throughout the day to regulate blood sugar, but don't like to eat a lot of meat products, so this has been my go-to food supplement.

This certainly brings back memories. I was a super skinny kid up until I was about 15. I used to be so horribly self conscious and was so sick of my family making their comments about how I must "eat like a bird" and how I was going to "waste away". I would even hear those comments up until I had my first baby as I have always been on the thin side even as an adult (not quite as thin as when I was younger). Try not to let him see you worry so much and whatever you do, don't make comments about his weight and appearance around him. I'm sure you don't, but this just naturally a sensitive subject with me. :)
I will say that I actually finally started to put on some weight after eating a lot of grape jelly on toast and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. It was pretty much all I would eat over the course of one summer break. Hope this helps!

Your child may have issues with texture and taste - a lot of kids have that, so when they go off baby food they just don't like the feel of different foods.

I'd be concerned about the losing weight, not about the "looking skinny" - there's a difference. He has high energy, which can be a positive, but if he's overstimulated because you're happy to have him eat almost anything (and who wouldn't be, in this situation?), that could be a problem.

It really sounds like his body is out of balance. I'd be cautious about the Carnation and its imitators because there so many chemicals in that, and it's not complete. There are also things that make it hard to digest so you may be sabotaging yourself, wasting money, and think he is getting benefit he is not. But if he'll take a liquid with something added, there is a wonderful children's formula that can be added to any milk, water, juice, or mixed in things like yogurt or pudding or applesauce or ice cream. It comes in vanilla or chocolate, and it's delicious. It's used for preemies on feeding tubes, and it's used in clinics and feeding stations for kids who are supremely compromised. It's a complete food - you can live on it even if there's nothing else - so you'd know your child was getting complete nutrition including DHA for brain development (really critical when calories are low) and full cellular support (critical for growth and immunity). You can buy this on line and you get the free support of a training consultant for as long as you need. It's patented (which means its proven safe and effective and unique) and it contains the natural peptide for immunity and other health benefits. I've been to many seminars where physicians and food scientists talk about what a difference is has made in malnourished kids, failure-to-thrive kids and seriously ill kids (including those with cancer). I've also listened to parents who've talked about how it turned their kids around, from preventing colds and flu and asthma, to addressing food sensitivities and eliminating food allergies, to addressing behavior issues like ADD and Asperger's. There's a great network of parents who share with each other.

You mention "genetic" predisposition - have you seen all the news reports on epigenetics? That's the emerging science of correcting faulty genes through food (particularly the peptide I mention which has been heavily studied for years). It turns out we really aren't prisoners of our DNA - a lot of health problems are caused by damage to the DNA (the genome) that occurs at the coverings of it (which is the epigenome). Sort of like a great computer that has bad software - it's not going to run properly. All of the work is showing that this damaged software can be repaired - you're not changing the DNA in any way of course - just repairing genes that are not switching on and off correctly, which is why the cells aren't working properly. You can look it up in Time and other magazines, and it's been featured on Dr. Oz and on PBS specials, among others. I can send you some links if you can't find what you're looking for.

Make some smoothies and ad a scoop of chocolate Whey Factors protein powder. You can purchase at Nugget or Whole Foods. I buy mine through iHerb.com.

I've got a kid who is 6'4 and 150-154 lbs. I can relate.

Ask your nutritionist about giving him zinc. Our nutritionist used it for certain patients who didn't like to eat (anorexics for one).

I would be looking at very calorie dense foods - healthy fats and lower glycemic carbs. But again, talk to your nutritionist first. I would stay away from processed foods.

I'd also think about consulting with an integrative MD to see if there is more in-depth nutritional testing that you could do. You might be able to spot some deficiencies that you could work on.

I would be careful with supplements and meal replacements until you get some advice. My ped was absolutely no help with this stuff. We had to get outside the box more.

Good luck.

my dd is small and only weighed 31 lbs when she started Kindergarten. She's in 5th grade now and is only in the mid 50's in weight.

Not much helps....I try to get her to eat healthy, but she's very picky. I insist that she has at least one glass of milk a day and I give her vitamins and gummy fish oils. Her height and weight are in equal percentiles. She does like pizza, so that certainly can add calories. She grows 2" to 2.5" per year no matter what I do. I quit worrying about it. It seems her growth is the same no matter what.

You know, to some extent this is just how your child is. Giving him more calories may not make him any bigger, he may just stop eating sooner. Kids are pretty good at knowing when they're full and when they're hungry. My youngest has always been very (very) small for her age - and this is weird because everyone else in the family is very tall. People are always asking her if she likes Kindergarten, and she responds with a disgusted look, "I'm in FOURTH GRADE!" Anyway, I understand how worrisome it is when your small child stops eating after having only a few tablespoonfuls of food. But here's the thing. When your child is going through a growth spurt, they get thinner. They just do. They "bulk up" (which for already thin kids doesn't look like much) and then shoot straight up, which means they get thinner. Then they go through the process again.

Unless there's a medical reason your son isn't gaining weight (such as a food sensitivity issue, or a metabolic disorder), this might just be the size he is. Not everyone is going to grow up and be a sumo wrestler. It sounds like your son is very active, so he certainly isn't lacking for energy. If he were pale and lethargic, I'd worry. But the fact that he is active and curious about the world around him is a good sign that he's not lacking for nutrition. I'd just leave the little guy alone and let him decide when he's hungry and when he's not. Easier said than done, I know - it's our job as moms to worry. ;)

Hi…I went through this with my oldest child who was actually in the zeorith percentile. Now, he's in the 25th. I feed him tons of fruits and veggies along with not restricting him on any fats like ice cream and french fries…wouldn't eat these myself…hope this helps.

Ask him what he wants to eat and try to doctor up to make it high calorie. My daughter was soooo skinny as a kid. I bet if you come back several years from now, you will be saying OMG this boy can really pack it away. Do not make eating a big issue. You will set yourself up for big problems. You are becoming obsessed. Have him help cook too.

How old is the child? My 8 year old has always been below the charts on weight (and only 3% for height) and is also a highly picky eater. I've given up on the healthy and accepted just getting any and all calories in him. Over the summerI started giving him the high calorie boost protein drink. At his check up he was 10% for height and 5% for weight - so I think it's helping.

I'd be super concerned since he's not on the chart anymore. That's scary for sure.

So here's what I would do. I'd stop focusing on what "I" wanted kiddo to eat. I'd simply let him eat anything and everything he wants to eat. If he wants to eat chicken nuggets 6 times per day then that's what I'd let him eat. Focusing on food only makes it more complicated and difficult on the kiddo and they dig in their heels and don't eat at all.

I'd be sure to find out from the insurance company if they have a different doc on the plan that can do testing for illnesses that effect weight. If there is one that deals with this sort of issue and has supplements that work to help kiddo gain weight and not fat.