My 7 1/2 Month Still Doesn't Sleep Thru the Night - Need Advice!

My daughter is going on 9 months, who has the same sleeping pattern. She is a breastfed baby, so I think sometimes she is just hungry. Sometimes she does go back to sleep easliy, but when I am at my whits end I give her two teething tablets under her tongue. If that does not work, I just let her play it out with a couple of toys in her crib then try to put her back to bed within thirty minutes.

My Son is now 2, but up until he was 18 months he would wake up in the night. He had a binky, so this was the main reason towards the end, that he couldn't find it in his bed. I used to say that I hadn't had a full nights sleep since he was born, but you soon get used to it. Now though, he sleeps through fine mostly. Bear with it and it will get better.

It is not a given that a baby WILL sleep through the night at a certain age. Not all babies do. There are many reasons why a baby may not sleep all night as we adults want. Remember, that "sleeping through the night" means (for a baby) sleeping at least 6 hours straight. Have you ruled out any other causes??? ie: teething, gas, constipation, hunger, reflux etc. etc.? If there is nothing else wrong with him.... then maybe this is just the way he is.... at this time. Phases and stages very and ALWAYS change. Keep that in mind. One great book is "What To Expect The First Year" by Arlene Eisenberg. It answers LOTS of questions and offers solutions. Another great book which helped us a lot is "Secrets Of The Baby Whisperer- how to calm,connect, and communicate with your baby" by Tracy Hogg. I know it's not easy... but, not all babies sleep through the night...if they did, we wouldn't have these concerns. It is common... do not worry. All parents go through this, believe me! Having no sleep for Mom, is well, common as well, since we have to get up at night for our lovely little ones. Well, I hope this helps or provides some consolation. Good luck!
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

My second son didn't sleep throught the night until he was 14 months old -- and I tried everything: cereal, co-sleeping, prayer, crying it out . . .

Turns out he was allergic to milk and dairy products. We suspet he had horrible heartburn or something like that as he always wanted to be held upright or to have something to drink. He also had the worst gas of anyone (really, he could have solved our current oil crisis if we could just have harnessed it) so probably had horrible stomach cramps. By eliminating milk from my diet (he was breastfeed) and from his diet (as he was on solids by 14 months), he began to sleep better and better.

The best advice that I got was to get as much sleep as possible, anywhere it was possible. That meant bringing him into our bed, going into the guest room, crashing on the couch while he played, moving him into a single bed before he was a year old so I could snooze with him, napping every day . . . I absolutely hated having to give up my alone time for sleeping but without it, I'd have gone crazy.

Now that boy is almost 12 years old and he still needs less sleep than me. He goes to bed later and wakes up earlier -- without an alarm clock. I'm guessing that part of the reason he didn't sleep so much as an infant is that he just didn't need as much as the book said he should have. (BTW, I did ask him to read the book but he refused. Said something about being illiterate. ;-)

He can also handle milk products. He outgrew his sensitivity around 3 years old.

I.

You can try doing some tricks to help him ease into sleep. You have to teach babies how to sleep and help them along.

1. Lovey, some type of lovey and it doesnt matter what it is, so long as you feel safe with him sleeping with it. I use a knitt blanket that has larger holes in it, even if it did cover her face she can see through it, and breath fine.

Take the lovey and start getting your scent on it, place it between you and him while he nurses, then give it to him ONLY for naps and bedtime. It stays in the crib unless it is with you when nursing.

The lovey after a little while become a sleep aid and a cue to him that it is time to fall asleep.

2. Second sleep cue, I like soft music, same CD every night and it is her cue it is sleep time. If she wakes in the middle of the night I just turn it on and walk awy.

3. Tanking up, just what it sounds like, you tank him up with food before bed. Nurse him every hour before bed for 3 hours. 5:30, 6:30 and 7:30, since he is 6 months old you can try adding in some veggie around 5pm. If you do a mix of bottle fed and nursing I would stick with whatever you do now right before bed, so if that is the 4oz bottle then keep that but nurse him twice before.

It is a personal call here, but if you dont think he needs the food at 3am then I wouldnt give it to him. I do not pick them up in the middle of the night (once they can and do sleep through the night and they wake up sick or with a night terror then yes I do, but I didnt while helping my daughter learn to sleep)

I will go in and turn the music back on, give her back her lovey and tell her I love her. If she was overly upset then I would stay with her for a little bit and just sit there or sometimes place my hand on her back/belly. I did not pick her up. If you think he needs food at 3am, I would pick him up nurse in the dark room, would not talk with him, and put him right back down, with lovey and music.

It takes a few nights (can take a week or more) but they learn that they do not get to come out of the crib at night, they learn the pattern and become comfortable in the pattern. Right now the pattern he knows and understands is one where he gets up twice and then gets to sleep in a different bed. That isnt bad that is just his current pattern and you can change it if you want.

If you help them learn to sleep with special cues then it makes life so much easier. No fighting to go to bed when they are older, you can take a trip anywhere you want because when it is bedtime you hand them their blanket and turn on the music and they are out like a light.

Its all about teaching healthy sleep habits. I am not a person who lets my child cry it out, but I dont consider them crying in their crib with me sitting there next to them crying it out.

My answer will be no help to you, but I just thought I'd let you know that my son is almost 15 months old and he has never slept through the night. I wonder if he ever will. In desperation and exhaustion I started co-sleeping with him because he'd wake up 2+ times a night instead of on and off constantly all night long. We sleep together and he wakes up 3X/night on average. I breastfeed him and he falls right back to sleep right away or at least is content enough to let me fall back to sleep. By the way, your baby's waking patterns sound close to my son's sleeping patterns when I had him in a crib in his infancy.

Dear S.,
I can totally relate! I received a book at my shower called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth that helped me get my daughter sleeping through the night and napping. I strongly suggest you get it. First of all, how is your son sleeping for his naps? Biologically he IS 6 months old and should be napping 2-3 times during the day. The morning nap around 9am and afternoon nap around 1pm. Naps should last at least 1 hour to be of any benefit. I established a bedtime routine of bath, bottle, and rocking to music in a darkened room. At the end of the routine, I put her to bed awake or asleep. If you can get him rested he will have an easier time sleeping through the night. At his age, he should only need to eat 1-2 times at night. (assuming he is healthy) Our job as parents is to teach our children to fall asleep unassisted and to fall back to sleep unassisted. Dr. Weissbluth is a firm believer in an early bedtime around 6pm and about 12 hrs total sleep at night. The problem I've found with sleep training is that you can't cart you baby around and expect them to be well rested as sleeping in the car, swing or stroller is not go sleep. It is best to have them in their dark, quiet bed. For me, the benefits outweighed the inconvenience as I was getting a lot more sleep. I also L. the early bedtime as I get some alone time with and without my husband before I'm too tired. My daughter also sleeps later the earlier she goes to bed. Unfortunately, she is also and early riser (6-7am) but Dr. Weissbluth also says that it is a biological thing. He also has plenty of research supporting the theory that certain times are best for optimal sleep. My daughter is 2 yrs old now and sleeps 12 hrs every night. Even if she wakes up very early, I still don't go get her until 6:45am. She lays in her bed talking and singing. No crying. The same happens at night. She also has a special blanket that she sleeps with to help her self-soothe. Send me an email and I would be willing to give you ideas to try right away. I've helped all my friends get their kids sleeping better and would L. to help you.
Sincerely,
L.

it sounds like he might still be hungry because he was a premie he drinks less more often. ask your doctor if its ok to start feeding him a little bit cereal at dinner time. My daughter (10 months) still wakes up once during the night for a bottle but she used to wake up all the time until i started giving her cereal.but my daughter wasnt a premieso i dont know alot about that. thats all and good luck

wow, that was exactly my son's schedule until he turned 3! The only thing that helped me was to sleep during his naps and just wait! Now he gave up his nap, but he only wakes 1-2x per night! Its so amazing, it will get better!
these 2 websites really helped me:

http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/sleep/

http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/index.html

I also really loved this book:

"Why love matters, how affection shapes a baby's brain" by Sue Gerhardt

Good luck, and it does get better!
-Sunshine

I agree with the other response - don't expect that your baby will sleep through the night just because he is a certain age. My son is 2.5 years old, and he has never slept through the night! He wakes up every single night wanting something (either milk, water, someone to cuddle with him, etc.) At this age, he only wakes up once, but when he was a baby he would be up about 4 times a night. I haven't had a full night's sleep in over 2 years! It used to bother me, but now I'm so used to it that it's fine. I stay home with my son so I don't have to worry about being groggy at work!
I also agree with the other response when she said that sleeping through the night for a baby is not the same as for an adult. If your son sleeps for a few hours at a time, that is good! Just take whatever you can get! :)

I feel for you S.! My son was the same way and he is now 18 months old and sleeps with us! I would nurse him to sleep, put him in his crib, and he would be awake 30 minutes later! Get him back to sleep and he would be awake an hour later! Get him back to sleep and he would wake up again! This would go on ALL night. It did not matter what we did. We were not ones to do the "cry it out" thing as we just could't take it. It broke my heart to listen to him cry! We all sleep fine now in our bed.
We also now have a daughter who is 12 weeks old and she seems to be better with sleeping..........we'll see!
Good luck to you!

If he is nursing, it seems normal for him to wake every 3-4 hours. 8 1/2 mo old daughter does the same. Breastmilk digests faster, so they wake hungry more often. So screaming it out when they are honestly hungry doesn't work and probably isn't good for them. Trust me, I understand the sleep depravation. Does he nap a lot during the day? Also, is he eating anything else like cereal, single veggies or fruits. I know that has helped Isabella some, but she still wakes at least once and usually twice at night and she doesn't usually go to bed until around 8:30-9:00. I may even start feeding her another helping around 7:30 to see if that helps fill her up just a little longer.
Not sure how much help I was, but please know you aren't alone :)

Hi S.,

I totally feel your pain. My son is 13 months old and has just begun sleeping through the night! He did the same thing your son is doing to you. I don't have much advice except to keep up the good work, try to get naps during the day and know it wont last forever. My son wouldn't cry it out either and quiet frankly I couldn't handle that anyway. It's funny, babies just turn corners and all of a sudden they change. I know this probably isn't helpful but I wanted to let you know you're not alone.

J.

My daughters didn't sleep through the night for years - same as many of the other moms mentioned. I remember being dead tired for the first year of both kids. I think it was made worse by all the other mothers who talked about their kids sleeping through the night on day one. Some kids don't sleep through the night and it's nothing that you are or aren't doing. Know that you're doing a great job and after the first year things will get back to normal even if your child still isn't sleeping through the night. In the meantime sleep whenever you can. Good-luck.

my son will be one in a week, he's only slept through the night 2-3 times ever. i used to nurse him everytime he woke up, but lately, if we're still awake in the family room, we just let him cry and with in 5-10 minutes, he's back out. the next time he wakes, i'll nurse him and lay him back down. by the third time, i'm really tired, so i just lay down in bed with him laying on my chest, and my heartbeat usually helps him get back to sleep. it used to bother me, but i've learned to just roll with it. good luck

aud

My son didn't sleep through his first night until he was around 8 years old. Until then, he would wake me up at least once a night to ask for a drink of water or to check on me. It never affected his day. After he was a toddler, he stopped taking naps. He would watch a show while I took a quick nap.

I'm not sure if he slept through the night after 8 years old, I just know by then he stopped waking me up.

He's 17 years old now and I can still hear him roam the house during the night.

At first I fought it, but then I realized I wasn't going to win & I just went with it. I knew the routine. Give him a drink, let him know I'm okay & he went right back to sleep.

I know this doesn't help you, I just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

Like everyone else, I have the same problem. My 13 month old wakes up at least once a night, sometimes just for 5 minutes, sometimes for 3 hours. He has miraculously slept without waking up 5 or six times in the last few months. You know what? It made me more tired! I think my body has gotten so used to broken sleep that when I was able to go for 8 hours straight, I actually felt like I got too much sleep and ended up dragging at work all day. Just keep your fingers crossed as I do that someday bedtime will mean a relaxing night of sleep :) One thing that my husband and I have worked out when I actually have a weekend off... we each get a day to sleep in, if it's after 4 am when our son wakes up, the other person brings him out to the living room where they watch Blues Clues and sleep a little more, usually till 6, while the lucky parent gets to sleep till 8am some days! It's my favorite part of a weekend off work!

My biggest question is how often he eats? is he hungry at 10pm when he wakes up? Have you tried feeding him then instead of at 2 or 3am? That may let him sleep longer if he eats sooner. He also may just not be ready to sleep through the night. Some babies don't until around a year old it will eventually happen, you could also ask his doctor for any advice.