My 6 Year Old Daughter Is Struggling with Day Camp.

Is this daycare so you can work or are you available to keep her with you? I'd pick her up early or keep her home altogether.... She's still young and there's a lot to be gained by listening to a reasonable request and accommodating it when possible, maybe something is going on with her peers, maybe she's just not feeling it at this particular camp? She's not gonna grow up to be a bum because she "quit" day camp.

Do you need her to go to camp? Is this childcare while you are at work? If not, I say let her withdraw from camp. School starts soon enough, let her enjoy her summer.

ETA: really? Per your SWH she also had an issue with going to the bathroom at camp? You NEED to address these issues before she's in school full time. You're looking at more health issues if she won't go potty in a place other than home with mom.

Geesh....

Original:
She'll be starting first grade in the fall and those hours are not negotiable.

This particular camp may not be a good fit for her. There are numerous camps available.

Is this primarily for day care or for fun camp experiences?

I personally think a 4-6 week camp at that age is a little long. My daughter did do a couple of weekly day camps when she was young that specifically focused on her interests vs a general all around camp.

I would not have brought up the bully question because that is so over used and many kids learn to use it as a cop out to play victim.

It is very saddening to hear that a 6 year old is so heavy that she's self conscious in her bathing suit. I believe that is the issue she is dealing with. She's far too young to already have body issues.

I would address her body issues now with the Dr, a nutritionist, and probably some counseling because if you don't, she'll deal with that demon the rest of her life.

It breaks my heart to hear that a 6 year old cannot swim with friends without feeling uncomfortable about her body.

She will have to be in full day school soon. What are you going to do when she resists that?

She doesn't get to tell you what to do. She doesn't get to make the rules. Four weeks is not long.

You need to stop catering to her trying to impose her will. Do you know how many 2 career families have year-round after-school and summer care? Your daughter gets to come home after school. Stop thinking of it as "unwise" that she isn't at home all summer, and that she is lucky to have a fun place to be part of the time. And start thinking of the very important notion of children not running the household. If you don't, soon as a pre-teen you will have a not-so-nice child on your hands arguing with everything you say.

If she enjoys swimming then I don't think that's the problem - but you can get her a rash guard top and swim shorts if that makes it easier for her.

Is she making friends? If not, that can be hard. That's not bullying or being left out necessarily - but it can make for a lonely day, even with lots of kids around.

Is this for childcare? Or just for fun?

Not all kids like camps at that age. One of mine did not. Did not like after school care either. He's an introvert and found the day long. I let him know it was ok to find it long and I got it. That made him feel better - just to know I understood. And I gave him lots of encouragement for doing something I knew was trying for him. Turns it into more positive than otherwise. We gave him down time at home. As he got older he was ok with camps.

Sometimes they just want to be home - if that's a possibility. Or some kids do better being home with a babysitter who comes in. Or maybe another camp would suit her more? Or not do 4 more weeks if you can - break it up? A week vacation? I know, not always possible.

I don't think you're the only one if that helps. We've had this question on here before from parents and I've experienced it in different things. Shortening the day can help but I would lengthen it out every week a bit at a time if you could. School gets longer too and she'll need to adjust to that in the fall.

One of mine had anxiety over going to camp. We came up with a game we'd play when she got home. Or we'd watch a special show together. Something to look forward to. At end off week, we went and got her favorite sub to take with her for lunch. Stuff like that. Not bribes so much or rewarding her for doing what's expected - more something to look forward to. It got her over that hump.

Welcome to mamapedia J.!

If she doesn't like full time school, what are you going to do then?

You yourself state your child is overweight. What are you doing about that?

If you pull her from the remaining 4 weeks - do you get your money back? What are you going to do with her during those 4 weeks?

She's SIX - so what does she TELL YOU. What happens when she gets to camp? Have you ever had a chance to sneak a peek from afar to see how she is doing?

What EXACTLY is she "resisting"?? Don't ask her if she's being bullied or teased. Ask open ended questions - who do you play with during the day? What do you like about him or her?
What's your favorite thing to do at camp?

Do you think she is playing you? What? You're new to Mamapedia - so it's not like we can go over other questions you have had. So more information is needed.

Unless she needs to go because this is daycare I don't understand why you'd pay for something your child clearly isn't enjoying. My kids only had a few weeks of camps during the summer, the rest of the time we spent exploring, traveling, swimming, hiking, playing with friends and just relaxing. It's nice to have downtime before the next school year begins.
And if she does need to be in full time care then maybe look into a home daycare or nanny or nanny share, not all kids do well in large group/center type environments.

Just a few ideas: Does she get a snack between lunch and pick up? Little ones burn up a lot of energy in these long camps and she may be hungry. Does she drink enough water. It is an inferno here in the Midwest and our older son needs to be reminded to drink enough water. Does she have a "bestie"..either another kid or a counselor? It isn't easy to arrange a bestie with a kid, but if she has a favorite counselor, perhaps contacting that counselor to see if there is something that can be done. GL. Camp is hard with the little ones. At this age, our son struggled, now, at 14, he just came home from 30 days of sleepaway camp. So, what is now isn't going to be forever.

Why does she want to come home? Why are you picking her up? What is she doing when she comes home? Does she want to watch TV? Is it hot outside at camp? Is she sufficiently nourished and hydrated, especially at lunch, so she doesn't run out of energy at 1 PM? Does she want to play with different friends than the camp friends? Does she want to be with you, or just not at camp? Does she not transition well from one program to the next (kindergarten to camp) or from one camp activity to the next? Do the counselors give sufficient warning when something is going to change? ("We're going to have a snack now, so please eat something and be sure to drink water. In 10 minutes, we're going to go to the pool." Then 5 minutes later, "Finish up, we're leaving in 5 minutes to go to the pool." That gives the kids a chance to prepare rather than always being redirected and perhaps confused.)

I think you'll find it's a really bad idea to get in the habit of picking a kid up early just because she "objects". What's the plan next year for 5 days a week of first grade? She's not going to get to go home just when things are no fun anymore, you know?

Transitions are hard, more so for some kids than others, but that doesn't mean we don't expect them to do it. I think you have to just be the parent sometimes, even though it's often an uncomfortable or unpopular stance. It's the same rationale behind serving dinner and "that's what we're having" rather than a child getting to dictate what she wants every time. Some choices are fine, but letting a kid run the show winds up creating kids who think the world bends to their whims. I can see offering a very modest reward on Fridays if she stays at camp all day and happily so. Maybe you go for ice cream or out to dinner to hear all about her week at camp. That would be reasonable. But picking her up every day for no particular reason except that she whines or complains or has a tantrum (you don't say how her objection manifests itself) is probably going to backfire on your long term if she thinks, for example, that she can go to the school nurse every day at 1 PM and say she has a headache or a tummy ache.

I think your situation is very common, don't get me wrong. I think we have to expect more of our kids sometimes. Sometimes they have to do stuff they'd rather not.

It is so sad that she would feel uncomfortable in a bathing suit at only 6 yo.

I agree with TF/Plano, you need to address the issues of body image and using the bathroom. I suggest those issues are a large part of why she wants to go home. She will still have those issues in first grade.

I think the decision to either keep her in camp or not is not important. There are acceptable reasons for either one. What is important is finding a way for her to be comfortable with her body. Using a swim shirt and shorts might help short term.

How heavy is she? I've now seen 4 children go through Kindergarten. Size was never an issue as far as I could see. How one looks is just not important to five year olds. Kids don't pay much attention until later.

Perhaps you and your wife talk about her size and how she needs to lose weight? Has she seen a doctor? If so what did he recommend? If not, a vist to a doctor is important. Many kids are chunky when they start school. They need the extra fat for energy to grow taller. Small rolls can be expected with some children. Some thin down. Some don't. It depends on their body type.

My grandson was chunky with extra fat until he reached 12. Now he is 5-6 and thin. He's still growing. He was not teased at school, enough to matter to him. His Dad deals with his own weight issues and teased him when my grandson was with him. His pediatrician said that he was healthy and would likely slim down at puberty. He did.

I urge you to talk with her doctor to know if she needs to lose weight. If she does, get a referral to a pediatric nutritionist.

Compliment your daughter. Tell her she's beautiful just the way she is. When she.talks about her body reassure her that her body is healthy. Put way more emphasis on healthy than size.

If the doctor says she needs to lose weight, you and her mother deal with the diet and exercise without talking to her about it.

My daughter was chunky/plump and was gaining weight and gradually getting more round as she grew. When she was 12 or so, her pediatrician, who had been her doctor since she was 7, said it's time to pay attention to diet so that as she grew she would thin out. My daughter never was thin. Her body type was such that she is healthy with a bit of extra fat. She will always have to pay attention to her weight.

I learned to not talk about being fat. When they brought it up, I responded in a positive and noncritical way. "Yes, you are a bit chunky now. That's OK. you will get thinner as you grow. In her teens, my daughter learned about nutrition and exercise so that she felt more in control.

How much exercise does your daughter get each week? Does she spend time outdoors, playing with her friends in an active way. Does she ride a bike or swim, play kid's soccer. Find fun ways for her to exercise. Walking is my thing so we did a lot of walking to the swimming pool, to the store or just around the neighbor to look at trees and plants. We went to the school playground nearly every week.

Do you and her mother feel good about your bodies? Our kids take on our attitudes.

Are you working and need this as daycare? If not, why force her? She may just need the unstructured downtime of summer vacation. Summer is not supposed to be stressful for little ones. She has the rest of her life for that. I wouldn't have wanted to do that all summer either.

She just has to get use to a new schedule.
Change is tough - kids like regular routines.
Taking her out early at 1pm isn't helping her adjust to staying till 3pm.
For the last 4 weeks - 3pm should be your official pickup time.
We didn't have that problem with our son.
We'd get "I want to stay longer and play" when it was time to go.

My kids didn't do full day camps at that age and they didn't want to. They went to full day school with no problem though. I felt kids are supposed to enjoy summer. It's the best part of being a kid. Why take that away if it's not necessary? I never went to any camp at that age. So I'd pick her up at 1:00. 4 hours at that age seems like plenty.

I'd take her and ask the director or counselor directly over her to focus more on her to see if they can see what is going on.

To me it sounds like she'd rather be watching TV and getting one on one attention.

She has to go to school all day in a few weeks so she needs to learn that wanting to not be there all day isn't an excuse that gets her anything.

I do wonder though, has anyone noticed if she has issues going to the bathroom outside of the home? That is a mental illness that affects some people's lives so much that they become homebound to the point they can only go to stores and places very close to home.

If she's afraid of the bathrooms it might also be that someone targets her there.

There is a reason she won't go to the bathroom at camp. Did she go to the bathroom at school? Or hold it all day until she got home?

Those are questions that need further investigation.

I wouldn't make her go. My mother put me in day care and I hated it...I'm in my 50's now and still angry! Not worth the trauma of forcing her.