My 3 Year Old Son Is So Hyper

I have an almost 4 y/o nephew who NEVER stops too! I was convinced he might have adhd, BUT I came to find out when I was visiting one time, that everything he eats or drinks has sugar in it, EVERYTHING. After his Mom cut back on the sugar intake, his demanor changed & he's much calmer now. As far as the hitting, definitely time outs for that. You didn't mention how much activity he is getting in one day either? Maybe it's a case of him not doing enough activities. Try activities that require problem solving instead of physical things. Good luck!

He's way too young to start looking into ADHD. If the pediatrician would like to consider medication at this age, switch doctors!

Toddlers are active and exploratory by nature. If he's still off-the-wall at 5 or 6, then have the conversation with the doctor. As a psychologist and special ed administrator, I NEVER support medications for children younger than school-age. Their rate of development is rapid and preschoolers are literally a moving target.

Having said that, it does sound like your son needs some structure, parameters and attention for his positive behaviors. At this age, he should be be able to sit long enough to do a couple of age-appropriate puzzles and to color (5-10 minutes). I would suggest:
- making sure that he is on a consistent schedule that includes physical activity time as well as "table top" or quiet time
- having independent activities like coloring, puzzles and picture books available and at his eye level so he can access them on his own
- Time out for any misbehavior. At his age, 5 minutes in a designated time out spot should do the trick

He needs to learn to entertain himself for short periods of time. The only way to do that is to teach him. Sit with him on the floor with a stack of books and a magazine for yourself. Interact with him for the first book or two and then fade-back and let him explore.

He's three- don't worry too much about ADHD unless you really try some behavioral interventions and they are not successful!

Sounds like a three year old boy with lots of energy to expend. He just needs an outlet. I try to plan an activity for my kids everyday. But some days both are super wild and crazy and when they are this way they are usually also picking on each each other. On those days, I make sure to plan things that involve them using LOTS of energy and sometimes we even do two planned activities....parks, bicycle rides, t-ball.

It seems to me that your 3 year old is craving attention from you. If your younger one has special needs, your older one has been kinda pushed off - not that you meant for it to happen. It just does. It happens when new babies come home without special needs...
I would make time every day for your 3 year old. I would tell him that it's "mommy time". I did this with my oldest. We did stories or we went to the grocery store or we played legos - whatever. But -- I made sure he knew that it was his time with me.
As for hitting and biting - NO WAY! Time out for that!! You need to be consistent and firm. You need to discipline the same way every single time. If you give him an inch, he's going to take a mile.
When my oldest was little, he didn't like change. He needed a warning... I'd say "we're going to go and get dressed in 5 min." Then I'd give him the 3 min. warning. Then I'd tell him "the clock says it's time to get dressed". Notice I wasn't the bad guy -- the clock was.
I'd do that for everything - clean up, leaving the house, tub time... you name it.
I also put my oldest in Karate. It helped him expend the excess energy and it was an activity just for him. He loved it -- earned his black belt. It also taught him discipline.
The other thing you might consider doing is to take all (or most) of the sugar out of his diet. No candy. No juice. Just water or milk.
YMMV
LBC

My son is almost five and still does the same thing with repeating what he says over and over until I say it back to him word for word. It's very strange - I thought that was just my son's quirk. It's relieving to hear that other kids do that, too! My son does some other weird things, too, but is otherwise well-adjusted. So everytime I start to think there is something very wrong with him I just look on here and see that everyone is dealing with quirky behavior from their kids and then I feel better. :)

ADHD can be linked genetically. If the child has 1 parent with it they have a 50% chance of also having ADHD; 2 parents = a 75% chance. The other think I would consider is him being somewhere on the Autism Spectrum. The constant repeating is not typical ADHD, more Autism. All that said, it could be he's just super jealous of the child with special needs. He doesn't recognize special needs, he just sees him getting a lot of attention. Explore all avenues.

i just wanted to tell you, this sounds exactly like my son. at three i was convinced he had adhd or some other issue. we had similar conversations like you describe, every waking moment. he would NOT sit still for anything. BUT. everyone told me "this is just how 3 year olds are" they are right. now my son is a week away from his 4th birthday and he is SO much calmer. not calm. calmER. enough that i feel everyone was right and he is totally normal. you have a special situation with your younger son (my husband was adhd as well which is why i had fears of it). so you need to get some discipline and control over your older one, it's even more important. but he is feeding off his brother's behavior and energy. it will be more difficult because of your younger son, but you need to time out your older son for acting out, i.e. fighting someone when they are trying to dress him. that shouldn't be tolerated. i feel like from what you have said that your older son is perfectly normal, given his circumstances. and pretty much everyone will tell you (as his ped. should as well) that three is too young to diagnose adhd accurately anyway. this is just how three year olds are - welcome to it! :)

Your son sounds smart and active and maybe he has ADHD. Search for Hallowell - he has a great free newsletter. Medication can help but might not be needed until there is a problem with learning or you can't alter his environment to keep him safe and happy. Exercise and good nutrition have results similar to medication.

I just saw an episode of Dr. Oz's show on this subject. Apparently kids have a 1 in 3 chance of ADHD if a parent has it. And you don't outgrow it, you just figure out a life that works better for you than the rules and situations we put on kids. Dr. Hallowell wrote a book on marriage and ADHD, and so did one of his colleagues, Melissa Orlov.

Kids need a lot of exercise (actually we all do) or they will drive you crazy. I took mine out in all weather. If I was exhausted or the smaller ones were sleeping or sick, I'd park by the ball field and have the wiggly one(s) run the bases. Our neighbors let their kids play outside unsupervised as preschoolers but my kids with adhd needed supervision for many more years than that and even a closer eye on them as teens because of their impulsive behavior and creative but sometimes dangerous plans. They still need snacks and breaks and routines (I still need that too and I'm grown).

Your 3 year old sounds smart. He learned how to get attention in his home. And he knows how to ask you to mirror his language and get validation. He might enjoy a recording device or even a simple kid camera to document what is going on in his life. When he gets repetitive, you could ask him to make a recording and play it later. Parenting got a lot easier for me when my sons could read and write to express themselves - something a smart kindergarten teacher predicted would happen.

I have a special needs child too and it was frustrating when the healthy kids were jealous of the attention given for having problems. The same thing would happen when one had a fever or the flu. They still get annoyed and they are older now. I try to spend one on one time with each kid. It is really hard to keep the family focused on something other than the special needs child and to keep up my energy and positive attitude. I appreciate your post because I need to do a better job of that in my own house. I needed a reminder.