My 3-1/2 Yr Old Refuses to Poo Poo in the Potty

Does she have a potty chair for the (big) toilet? Just thought she may be scared of the big onw if so. If ever went poop a certain time of day, just try and take her and sit her on it with a book to look at, and you sit in there with her and she may accidently go, and see it is o.k. and not scary . just a suggestion.

Try this...give her a scoop of ice cream and when she is finished give her a warm glass of water. For some reason the combination works as a laxative. Sit her on the pot.

I have never potty trained kids of my own (my first is only 9 months old), but I have worked with kids of this age (3-5 years) for many years. I can offer some words of comfort that this is completely normal. Some kids are just afraid of their poop being flushed away. It is just a part of them. For some reason they feel a big part of them is being flushed away, and they do not like it. It sounds like (hopefully) with a little time and continued sensitivity this problem will solve itself. Good luck!

My daughter was the same way. The thought of poo-pooing in the potty was scary and she would hold it until she was in a lot of pain. This is what I did and it seemed to work. I sat behind her on the potty. I would squish myself up against the back of the toilet and sit her in front of me and we would read and I would rub her tummy and reassure her that it was ok. After a few times she was no longer scared. The wrong thing is to make a huge deal out of it. My daughter is now 17 and has no problem poo-pooing in the potty. Hang in there. It is going to be ok.

C.
Proud mom of 21, 18, 17, 15 year olds

Well, J., I wish I had some magic formula for you girl, but I am in the same sinking boat with you! HA! My son who will be four the last of June will STILL NOT POOP IN THE POTTY! I also tried the Miralax thing, which gave him diarrhea, scared him, and yes he did go in the potty like ten times but not once since then and that was three months ago. Yesterday I sat him on the potty off and on all day long and he wouldn't go. He will get off the potty, go hide and then go in his pants! I am at my wits end too. I just keep telling myself "everything happens at a certain time" but I want that time to be now. I have tried absolutely everything, treats, toys, stickers, charts, candy, suckers, taking things away, making him clean it up himself(which he loved and wants to do it every time now), a slight swat on the hiney (not enough to hurt, just enough to tell him it is wrong to poop in his pants), the Miralax, sitting in the front of the TV while on the potty, you name it I have done it! I am now just in a waiting game and dear one, you may be too. Sometimes these little ones need to be ready to let it go and get over the fear of it in their own time. Not much help, I know, but take heart that you are not alone in this! Good Luck! T.

Hi J.,
Sorry you are having such a hard time with the potty.
I would really back off on making it a big deal right now. Pressure is not going to help her want to go but might make it worse for her. Relax and she will follow your lead. You might even want to except that she is going to go in her pull ups for now and try the potty again in a few weeks when the dust settles on this issue. As for holding it, this can become a really big problem for her and you. It can become a bad habit and cause constipation, creating a vicious cycle. Give her a cup of prune juice daily to keep her regular. I use a magnesium supplement called Natural calm for my boys to help keep them regular. It's a powder form and mixing with water and juice. You can get it at most health food stores.
Hang on and this too shall pass!
C.

Kids are so funny. I feel your frustration. My son was the same way. His big sister came up with this one. Try putting the pull up in a child size potty. Talk to your daughter. Ask her what she is afraid of. Poop in her pull up cannot feel good on her tushy, it's warm, big and stinky. Does it hurt? Maybe she is a little constipated.

If you do not like the idea of buying a childs potty, get the one that doubles as a step stool.

Hope you find the answer you are looking for.

One of my dear friends has had serious issues with this and I had similar issues with my first son. My friend's DD has distended colon and encopresis from not pooping. She has even been hospitalized for it. Knowing this about her scared me to death when I was training my oldest son. He is now 4 1/2 and does everything on the potty just fine. BUT - I got to the point where I was giving him enemas to get him to go poop, and that was not fun for either of us. He is easily constipated and I think the pain from that was what held him back. I wish I had known about Miralax with him since it is not a laxative but a softener. I gave some to my almost 3 year old son recently (we are potty training now) and a few hours later he HAD to go and we were sucessful - YEA! He was squatting over a little potty chair, but it was in a potty and not in his pants, I consider that success! All this to say ~
- Miralax will not hurt her and you won't have to use it every day, just when you know she needs it.
- Avoid constipating foods and promote foods you know will loosen her up. :)
- Maybe squatting over a little potty would help. They get so used to standing up when they go that sometimes sitting down is very foreign.
HTH
L.