35 answers

My 13 Yr Old Is Not Turning in Homework!!

Moms, I need some advice!!! My 13 yr old son, in 8th grade, has (already 2 times this year) had missing assingments in different classes. I am so frustrated by this because his school provides planners for the kids every year but he refuses to use it. I don't want to have to be the parent who goes onto the school website everyday to find out what homework he has to get done but I'm willing to and I'm about at that point. I want to trust that he is telling me the truth when he says, "I don't have any homework" or "It's done".
Should I not be checking to see if he is turning in his assignments? When I was in school my parents didn't have the option to check in on me until mid-term or report card time. I am sure I slacked off at some point without getting "busted" because I would get caught up before "report" time. What would you do? Do you think I should just trust him and not worry about it until report time or should I be checking and making sure he gets it done?
Little about my son, he is in football and according to him he forgets about the stuff that needs to be turned in but he says he needs to figure it out on his own. He also said he was going to try to get A's all year so he could get a PS3. Whoops!

Thanks in advance for your advice!!!

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

My Grandma watched us as kids, and my brother tried this around the same time. She ended up holding his hand into class for about a week because he wasn't being responsible enough to hand in his homework and "acting like an elementary kid". About a week of that and he started handing in his homework. Then even if he tried all she had to do is ask if he needed his hand held. She was a GREAT lady.

5 moms found this helpful

Maybe get him a folder to put all his homework in when he gets done with it and remind him to put it in his backpack That way you know it's at least getting to school.

Gently remind him that if he doesn't pass his classes he doesn't play football.

More Answers

My son is 12 and in 7th grade. He was forgetting to turn things in so I "forgot" to take him to his afterschool activities. After a week of missing his afterschool activites, his memory has improved. It is all about priorities and he needed to learn what comes first-schoolwork. We also put all of his homework into one folder that he keeps with the assignment book. That way, it is all together. You could also try contacting the guidance counselor for him. They have alot of good tools usually. Good luck to you.

5 moms found this helpful

My Grandma watched us as kids, and my brother tried this around the same time. She ended up holding his hand into class for about a week because he wasn't being responsible enough to hand in his homework and "acting like an elementary kid". About a week of that and he started handing in his homework. Then even if he tried all she had to do is ask if he needed his hand held. She was a GREAT lady.

5 moms found this helpful

Just my two cents, but I think it would be awesome if you would help him (work together) on coming up with a system that will keep him on track. Not in a nagging sort of way, but more as a team effort. As the parent, it is your "job" to help your child learn skills that will help him succeed in life.
R.

5 moms found this helpful

Not alone! I have a 13yo daughter in 8th grade...when she started Jr. high, I would go onto the website to check hm and correspond w/teachers via email and such. But...this year, I told her I was not going to do that because she will be in High School next year and she needs to learn to be more responsible as the teachers will not baby them. Her grades will be her grade, whether I like them or not. I tell her that it has to mean something to her because it benefits/affect her future not ours. She's in band and volleyball, so if she doesn't keep her grades up that can affect her being able to play. It's hard to let go and let them make mistakes, but I understand we can't continue to following behind them forever making sure that they are doing what they should. It's hard to know when to let go!

4 moms found this helpful

A couple of things.. First of all 8th grade is still a safe place for HIM to fail this 6 wks grade period.

If you think YOU can handle this.. Call his teachers AND Coach and let them know you are going to allow your son to fail so he can have this wake up call . That you want to he Teachers and the Coach to let your son suffer the natural consequences.

If your son can experience the awful grade, not being able to play on the field during games.. he may finally realize this is not moms job to chase down the homework for him.. The HE is is charge of his grades.

My nephew is now a Sophomore in High School was going to be the Quarterback on the Varsity team this fall (he now is out for a fractured shoulder). Last year he was the Quarterback for the JV team and one 6 weeks failed a class and got pulled till he could bring his grades up.. EVERYBODY knew his business, when he could not suit up for a game.. He could not even sit on the bench. "No Pass no Play" would not allow him to be on the field at the games.

He was pretty embarrassed and got his act together real quick.. He did make up work. The head coach (Coach is a calculus Trig teacher by trade) sat down with him to work on organization (I am also sure had a "conversation" with him) and this year, nephew is doing a lot better.

4 moms found this helpful

I tend to agree with Regina. You should work together to find a solution and each be expected to hold up your end of the bargain. In addition, just because he has a planner doesn't mean he knows how to use it. Schools hand these out and teachers ask that students use them with very little instruction over why they are useful and how to make them useful. Teach him by showing him how you use your planner to keep your "to dos" organized. In our house we keep a large dry erase calendar on the wall with family appointments and individual obligations that we all need to be aware of as well as homework assignments and project due dates. The kids have been putting things on the calendar since before they could write (telling me what important thing we all needed to look forward to). Make time to look over your schedule and deadlines for the week each day and let your son do the same with you.

You did not indicate whether or not your son plays football at school or with an outside league. If it is at school, the coaches can be an excellent resource for keeping kids on track. Talk to his football coach about your concerns. They are usually more than happy to give your child a little extra encouragement (consequences) to keep them on track. I disagree with the responses that encourage you to take your son out of sports for having difficulty following through at school. Often, athletics provide an otherwise disinterested student a reason to "buy in" and stick with school. Athletes have a lower drop out rate and tend to be better students and more involved in positive campus activities. Same goes for involvement in any extra curricular activities (fine arts, band, choir etc.). I teach high school and see evidence of this everyday.

3 moms found this helpful

I think it needs to be a combination of you checking/reminding and then he suffers the consequences if he "chooses" not to do/hand in his work. Easy to say, tough to do I know.

3 moms found this helpful

I have a responsible 11 year old who HATES homework. She does hand it in though. Because she hates homework Im ake it a point to check the school website to see what homework she has. That way when I ask her I already know. Not doind homework is not an option in my home. I think it is ok for you to check his school website until he gets on the ball of things. Another option is NO Football until he takes homework as serious as he does football. I would check until he proves himself. Or you can check without him knowing give him the benefit of the doubt. But if you realize that is not working step up and let him know you have been checking and what he is doing is unacceptable. Hope this helps B.

2 moms found this helpful

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