Momma Feels Crazy During Summer

Well, we have a "no electronic between breakfast and dinner" rule. As a result, they ask the sitter to take them places every day. If it's nice, they go to the pool. If it's not nice, we have a pass that gives them access to a bunch of local stuff (science center, indoor sports place, etc).

I find that:
1) my kids whine less when there is a hard and fast rule about screen time. When the rule is clear, they know that whining won't get them anything so they don't bother.
2) since they know electronics aren't an option, they will think of places for the sitter to take them so that they don't have to sit at home all day.

My kids are older, 16 and 13, so it's even harder to keep them busy. Add in that I'm in AZ and it's 116 out every day, and well, it's like snow days, we are stuck inside.

We do go swimming but even then, it's hot. We usually go early around 9-11 before it gets unbearable. We also went a couple times to the dollar theater but it got old fast with all the kids talking through the movie so we gave up on that. lol

I had big plans for them to do art projects, read, organize their bedrooms, make new recipes, etc. Well, not so much.

I have embraced that its summer for them and they should be able to relax too. So between swimming and having some friends over, they are mostly watching YouTube and playing video games. I bought a sewing machine a few days ago and they have done some sewing projects.

Not as busy as I wanted but frankly, I'm not stressing about it anymore. Next week we are going to CA to hit the beach and hang with friends and then one is back to school that Monday already. It is what it is and I'm not going to stress about it anymore. I did the best I could with them and they had a good summer. But yes, I am looking forward to them going back. lol Good luck.

I think you are way overthinking things and stressing yourself out for nothing. Just leave them alone. Previous generations didn't schedule their children at all, we managed to entertain ourselves. We spent plenty of time watching cartoons and bad daytime TV during the summer, laying around, when we started to get on my moms' nerves she made us go outside.
Also we walked or rode our bikes to the park or public pool almost every day so it's not like like we were completely inactive, but yeah, summers were pretty lazy, and pretty happy from what I remember.
Let them be kids, they have their whole lives ahead of them to be miserable and stressed out, just like mom and dad :-(

Well I LET my kids be lazy for one thing.
I also let them have friends over as much as possible. That made my life EASIER not harder, they were either playing outside or playing video games or watching TV with their friends. I wasn't trying to school them or entertain them all day, shoot I didn't even feed them, I mean there was food in the kitchen and they could help themselves to making sandwiches or zapping up nachos or leftovers or whatever but it's not like I was preparing lunches.
Beyond that they had a few weeks of camp, sometimes one of them had a summer school class, and we belonged to a pool so I took them AND DROPPED THEM OFF for a few hours a day, at least a few days a week. Kids could be dropped off as young as 7 or 8 years old from what I recall.
Beyond that they were free to veg out, watch TV/movies, play on the computer, read, do crafts, go down to the creek with dog, whatever. I took care of what I needed to do and didn't worry too much about it.
ETA: we also had outings once a week or so, the beach, a hike, museum, etc. but I actually enjoyed those things so it was just as much for me as them, and it broke up the monotony of being home all the time.

I'm homeschooling all summer. (We do two hours a day, year-round.This works for our little learner for now.) Even before we started doing school at home, summertime always meant some time for reading, some time for learning (we did about an hour of school to keep skills sharp, some kids really need this), some time for friends and fun and some time for being lazy.

Having a 'something to do' already planned is helpful.
Having a checklist of what my son needs to have done before media time at 3:30 (if he wants to play his games) helps. That has to be complete or the laptop/iPad stay off for him.

Having playtimes made in advance helps us. If there's not a friend out, we might run errands on foot/bike: video rental store (yep, we've still got one!); go grab a treat/snack at some restaurant or cafe nearby. Take a small picnic to one of the three parks within walking distance. Or plan some outings based on what he's interested, what we're learning about.

Summer: this kid is eating about one book a day, as I like to joke. A trip to the library is essential. We go each week and let him stock up.

Right now he's dissecting an owl pellet. He had a camp this morning focused on science and art that this is what he came home with.

I do not feel compelled to keep my son 'entertained'. I am not Julie on the Love Boat (she was the entertainment director). Boredom is a good thing. If I spent all my time keeping Kiddo busy, he'd miss out on so many opportunities to find neat things to do all on his own.

http://www.bbc.com/news/education-21895704

I think that you might want to take the 'keep them busy' burden off yourself. Yes, it's good for them to be physically active and have *some* things to do.... that said, one of the best things we did for our son was letting him choose his activities-- and then, when he complains he's bored, we suggest a chore and walk away. 9 times out of 10 I'll peek into his room 15 minutes later and he's deep in something he really wanted to do-- just didn't know it yet!

Yes. I love some things about summer, but I also love the routine of the school year.

I think you have to try and put things into perspective. Is it really that strange that they enjoy video games and being lazy? It's their summer vacation. I think they should be allowed a certain amount of just lounging around time - not all day, everyday, but a few days here and there aren't going to hurt them.

What would you like to see them do instead? Going to the pool is great. What else can they do?

You do have to be realistic about what options they have. If you are at work all day, what can they do? Play outside, go to the library? Give them lots of concrete ideas of things they can do.

But yes, it is frustrating to have to constantly kick them outside - or in my case, just kick them out of the kitchen so I can accomplish something!

School aged kids don't need "playdates" organized by parents. They are old enough to call up their own friends and do the inviting or making of plans to meet up at the pool or whatever (with parent permission). I think you need to make their social time with their friends their own responsibility, not yours. You don't have to try and remember which friend is busy with swim team or on vacation, etc. Leave that up to your kids. I would just say "you can have a friend over tomorrow afternoon" or "we are going to the movies tomorrow, you may invite a friend" or "you may invite a friend to sleep over on Saturday" Let them be doing the calling to their friends directly.

Me and my friends go a bit bonkers in the summer with kids home. I think that's quite typical, isn't it?

I don't drive so I rely on my husband, friends and the odd camp to give me a bit of a break.

My kids have to entertain themselves quite a bit - so our house is pretty similar to how we grew up. I can't take them here or there - but what I find is if you say "no electronics till.." they miraculously became like kids from years go by. Mine will anyhow. One even pulled out Apples To Apples (game) without prompting. This is the kid who is glued to his iphone otherwise.

So I get it. And some days we have TV day (or ipad or whatever). Because quite frankly, some days I like a Netflix day.

Right now our teen is painting the shed. I decided week two that we needed a big project for him.

It's hard, I know, to get kids off their tush sometimes when they have an opportunity to play video games. Honestly, if I were in your shoes, I would take away the video games and let them be mad.

Your helper needs to put together a plan of action for the kids. It should include summer bridge activities with schoolwork to study. They get no privileges until that's done. Every single morning. They clean their rooms, do some other chores. They have outside time without argument (pool time would be great.) They help fix lunch and dinner, and help set and clear dishes. They help plan the menus.

Science experiments, easy stuff, is great. Have them make a volcano with baking soda and vinegar and red food coloring. Etc, etc.

Until they don't fight you and act like they are enjoying themselves, there is no tv, no internet and no videos games. They will have to earn them. Stick with it no matter what.

I let my kids do what they want - it's summer. My husband works from home full-time so they have been able to have play dates often. I take them to the pool when I get home from work too - which is no later than 3pm. My mom is taking them out once a week either to movies, bowling, lunch, etc.

But it's their vacation. I remember the summers my parents just let me be lazy and I LOVED them. Let them relax. If your family is anything like mine, you are crazy busy the rest of the year. Summer is a much needed break for EVERYONE.

Say it with me: "I am not my child's cruise director."

Kids are inventive. Smart. Hard working. So give them some work to do every day, and limit screen time. Agree to take them to the pool a couple of times a week....buy them each a watch and kick them outside to play the rest of the time and let THEM manage their own time with their friends.

Not sure how old yours are, but a few years ago we taught them how to read the bus schedule. They used some lawn mowing money and took the bus to the library, pool, mall. Without me.

Some of this is a function of our times. It's harder for your kids, perhaps, to find kids in the neighborhood if a) there aren't a lot or b) those kids are in programs.

But there's a bigger problem, which is that kids don't know how to entertain themselves, engage in imaginative activities, or even get along with each other and have fun with someone of a different age (like each other). You're not alone in that area, but it's an area where you can fight things a bit.

The other thing is, they don't respect your work or the helper (or the money at stake here), and they think it's your job to entertain them, at least by giving them unfettered access to electronics. You don't say how old they are, but one thing that happens as they approach the tween years (and certainly teen years) is that they start to assert their natural independence even before they are ready to fully exercise it or understand how to make decisions in connection with it.

My suggestion is that you google things like "Job Jars" and "Kids' Chore Sticks" - these are papers or (better because they can be used over and over) large tongue depressor/craft sticks on which you write a job and a rewards that comes with it. So cleaning a bathroom or picking up a room or sorting laundry/putting it away all come with a "denomination". Instead of money, it can be X minutes on the video games or Y minutes for a ride to a friend's house or a playdate. There are also photos you can see about a Lost & Found bin where Mom/Dad pitch the stuff left lying around, and the kid has to pick a chore from those selected/on display on the outside of the bin before they can have the item back. That gets them to think ahead about putting things away and how valuable (or not) their items are.

You can also get some great (sometimes older) books in the library of summer activities and camp activities, so kids can create their own fun with little help. Science experiments (within reason), ant farms, and some of the "old fashioned" games are actually totally absorbing for kids if they are nudged into it. This is unscheduled fun, unscheduled activities, and really awesome for creative thinking (which involves learning without knowing they're doing it).

In general, I think parents have to remember they are in charge, find a way to control the arguing by making it way more unpleasant for the child when he/she fights back (especially disrespectfully or with a martyr complex, vs. a reasoned argument). Getting control of this before they hit their teens is really important when they become more rebellious and wanting to do stuff alone, and certainly when they want to get a learner's permit!

Bottom line - don't let them make you crazy. You have to be in charge and not give in to the nagging, which is basically a tantrum for kids older than 6! If you make it worse for them when they behave this way, and if you absolutely never give in because they annoyed you and it felt easier to "cave", it will be better in the long run. Sure, you can let them slack in the short run, but what will you do in September or next summer? It actually gets harder the older they get.

This is where day camp can really save you.

Our son is really the one that is driving his own schedule this summer.
School let out mid June and we've only had 1 week down time so far.
Archery camp was first week.
2nd week we did nothing - it felt GOOD!
Oh but he did register to vote that week so he's all set for November (he turns 18 a week before the election).
Last week and this week our son is taking a Cyber Security class at a local college.
Next week is his internship week.
Week after that is driving school so he can get his drivers license.
Aug - we visit grandma and college campuses - like 4 to 6 of them from Georgia through New York.
I would really appreciate a little more down time than we are getting this summer!
I'm sure his senior year is going to be super busy.

If left to their own devices I suppose mine would sit in front of the video games all day. They do make plans with friends, but they also have to work around their friends vacations and camp etc. I plan family outings at least twice a week and we go on lots of camping trips. They have a few weeks of camp. On days I haven't planned anything special I give them a list of chores to complete before they have any screen time and I also insist that they go outside to do something active, such as a bike ride, go to the pool, sports, skateboarding, rollerblading, a walk or a run. I also get them to practice their musical instruments, do some xtramath.org and read, although not necessarily every day. I find that my kids are getting less motivated as they are getting older too, but I hope it is just a phase. This is the laziest summer my kids have ever had. I have sort of given myself permission to let them slack somewhat

i kick them out of the house. i send them to the fenced in backyard and tell them they are not allowed in the house. a few hours later they ask if they can come in and i let them, by that time they want food, drink and a movie to relax to. so i let them. usually gives me about 4 hours of time to get stuff done without them driving me too crazy.
my other go to activity is making them wash stuff.. they love to spray the vinegar cleaner and wipe stuff down so i set them up with what they need, give them a list of stuff to wipe down (certain walls, chairs, kitchen floor, table legs, fridge, stove front, dishwasher, doors and cabinets they can reach. they are usually the ones making the messes so they can reach the messes they made and will wipe them up)

They can play unlimited games and do pretty much anything they want. It's their vacation. I supervise as much as I can by checking their accounts to see what they're doing and I pop in to the family room to watch and even play sometimes.

Ha! I work full time AND send my kids to all day camp 5 days/week.
They're STILL driving me nuts for the 3-4 hours that we're all home together!
The whining, the boredom, the electronics. Mine are 8 and 6, and I'm going to start leaving them at camp longer, because all they do is complain at home. At camp, there's at least other stuff to do!

I get it. Mine are 12 and 10 and get a short list of tasks to do each day and once that is done, they get to do whatever they want for the most part. The list might include, clean up your floor, make bed, take shower, water outside plants, math with mama, write three things you did on vacation. We are doing some summer school stuff to get my daughter up to speed in math, so my son gets to do it too. I feel better knowing that they did a few things to help in the house and help their brains. Then I usually try to get them out of the house to go somewhere for a few hours, the lake, the zoo, walk in the woods, the pool, etc. The rest of the days is theirs and mine to do as we wish. It has been one of the best summers so far for us. I think it also helps that I have been able to work early in the AM and really late at night to keep a few hours free during the day to get out and be active with them. Parents need summer fun too!