Mom Who Wants to Help Her Father....

my only really helpful tip and this goes for everyone no matter how old you are...never go to the doctor alone! Two people can go to the same apt and come out with different impressions and recall different directions. When your father goes to an apt you, a sibling or a trusted friend need to go with him. I know it sounds like an invasion of privacy, but it's one that may save/prolong his life...I live with my inlaws, and my MIL is very ill...my FIL is doing his best to take care of her, but as he's on his way to the apointments, I call ahead and tell them what I think they should know...I saved his life by doing this...he was so concerned with her and I called and told them to please look him over as well because I was more concerned with him...they did and they called me back to say thank you...he was dehydraded from a virus...and if they hadn't given him 2 iv's he could have died from an overdose of his meds...my point being...sometimes it's okay to "meddle"...best of luck!

Hi S.,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother.

I want to share with you some advise about caring for your Dad. I have been helping to care for both of my parents (both are in their mid-80's). My mother especially, has a number of medical issues. My Dad is doing okay, but both are getting fairly old so the complications just get worse.

Anyway, my advise is, first, go to all or as many of your Dads doctor appointments as you can with him. Get to know his doctor(s). This has helped me so much. Initally I didn't like all the drugs & treatments that my parents needed either. I really resisted the doctor & her advise. Once I realized that I needed to stop resisting & get more invovled, in terms of asking questions to the doctor(s)& understanding why a certain medicine was being prescribed, it got much better for me. Making a list of questions & concerns helps in talking to the doc's.

I keep a book with all of the doctor's contact informatin, as well as printout, of the medications that they take. (I get the printout from the pharmacy). Be sure to fill out the HEPA form at each doctors office, so you have full acsess to your Dad's medical records.

I make all of the doctor appointsment for my parents so they fit better into my schedule. When my daughter was younger, it made it easier to get a babysitter & to take care of things on my end. I would also try to make all of the doctor appointments on one day of the week so that I could manage things better. For instance, Tuesday is the day I try to get all appointments. My parents live about an hour away, so I need things to be organized so I am not running all over the place.

I hope this helps.

KMB

Hi S.,
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved mother, and about your father's health issues.
Is your father receiving regular medical care? I would suggest making sure that his doctor is aware of all of his medical issues. I wouldn't research and get information from the internet, I would get it directly from his doctor. Diabetes is a serious issue and any complications from it must be handled by a medical professional. You didn't mention whether your father is capable of managing his own medical care, but if he has not seen a doctor about the scabies, he really must do so. I understand the point of view about over dispensing medicines and in some cases, I prefer alternative options, but diabetes is very serious and does require medication.
Good luck!

My recommendation would be to take your father to a Naturopath Dr. They get to the root of the problem, and don't mask the issues by medicines/ointments/drugs/side effects......

You are already skeptical of dr.'s...I think you will be very impressed by what a Naturopath can do. They are truly amazing!

PS. I am not a naturopath - I have been treated by a naturopath for issues that a typical dr. and dermatologist couldn't helps with. My husband and both my children have gone as well.

Good Luck S.!

Attitude goes a long way towards health. Instead of dwelling on your dad's health try to improve his well being. Grief is very debilitating. He probably doesnt eat right or take his meds on time. Try to get him involved in some activities outside the home, perhaps go back to college and learn a craft. When you talk about your mom remember the happy times. As much as you miss her, he misses her more and remembering happy times, might hurt at first, but it helps to cope with her loss.
Good luck.

Get him help. Make sure you go to a wound care center... one that deals with diabetes mainly. They are out there.. and they are good. I lost my mom due to leg problems and diabetes 4 years ago... it was horrible.. they started out red and itchy.. and during the night she would scratch.. until they bled.. and then the open wounds started and wouldn't heal... she finally succombed to gangreen.. or leg disease associated mainly with diabetes. Not to scare you... but get him help soon. He needs to closely monitor his eating habits.. and be careful with his legs and feet. Good luck... A.~~~

Scabies is a skin condition caused by tiny mites that burrow under the skin and cause intense itching and irritation. It's easily treatable by applying a prescription lotion all over, leaving it on all night, and then showering it off. It's a hard condition to diagnose, so you are fortunate that the doctor recognized it for what it is.

As for preventing catching it, all bedding must be washed in hot water, furniture disinfected, towels, etc. If you follow the same protocol as disinfecting after head lice, you will be safe.

My kids were adopted from Korea and had it when they came. I had them to 2 doctors who did not recognize it, so it went untreated for about a month before it was finally diagnosed. As closely as I related to them (personal care, hugs, slept with them, etc) I did not catch it, so it is not quite as rampant as people might tell you. Just meticulously disinfect and encourage him to follow instructions about using the prescribed medication. Good luck.

Hi S., sorry about your loss. I am an consultant for Usana . A more natural approach to better health. My site is www.healthyhart.com and Dr.Ray Strand.com he also discusses Diabetes on his wed site. My e-mail is ____@____.com you want a copy of Dr Strand recommendation sent to from me. No string attached , just info. for you to read . Bye , Jacquie Hart

Hi S., First I want to say how sorry I am for your loss of your mom. I am sure you want to help your dad. I know little of scabbies but I do know that diabetics have poor circulation which will also cause itching.I think you should get your dad the medical attention he needs. I do not know if he lives with you. Do your best with him. Let him talk about mom when he wants to. My dad passed 3 years ago and my mom has been depressed and has also develpoed more medical problems. I will pray for your family. My best in the New Year. Grandma Mary