Mom Seeking Help with Both Children Not Sleeping

You indicate you give him milk, but don't say it is nursing, so I am assuming it is just a drink.

I would leave him a bottle or glass of water (which doesn't need refrigeration and is less enticing than milk), in case he is thirsty. If he wakes during the night, soothe him and offer him the water. If he is used to milk, you may want to slowly dillute it to avoid a fight.

I know that I get thirsty at night, so I wouldn't want him to be thirsty, but he doesn't need milk and it is no good for his teeth.

As for your daughter, she is probably scared of being on her own. Have you tried a night light or a stuffed animal? I think you may need to enlist Grandma in this. Have Grandma bring her back to her room, check for monsters in the closet and under the bed and tell her it is safe and put her back in bed. Some people have gotten some mileage from spraying "monster repellant" (perfume or Febreeze). The main point is she should be brought back to her room, reassured and put back to bed.

I'm not sure if it will help, but it did with my son. I put a little Gerber Rice Cereal in his bottle before bed time. I had to make the holes in it a little bigger so that the cereal would go through, but I think they actually make a bottle specifically for this reason now (make sure that the holes aren't to big and start out with a small amount). Hope it helps, good luck!

I am a mother of 4 and am having the same problem but mine our 2 and 3 and taking turns waking me up on diffrent nights I have found that if I send the 3 year old away he just crys tell we are all up and that is very hard. I started to give him a cup of milk before bed and letting him take a sippie water to bed and he has to put it on his nightstand not in his bed and that seems to work that way he isnt getting up to get a drink in the night it is right there. hope that does help alittle.

Hi R.,
I have a 18m DD. Our Ped. suggested leaving a cup of water in the crib for when she's thirsty at night. If I do pick her up to change her diaper, I soothe her and put her back down. If she complains, I offer water first and see how far that gets me.

For your Daughter. When she changed rooms, did she move out of the room that she was in before brother came? Try getting two large body pillows, wrap them in fleece or jersey sheets for warmth. This will help her feel like she's not in a big bed all alone.
M.

I don't know what to tell you about your daughter. It has ben going on for almost a year so i ond't think it is a "stage" anymore. MAybe she is upset that she ahd to change rooms. When my second daughter was born I specifically wanted my oldest daughter to stay in her room and I set the other room up for my baby. It worked really well, so maybe your daughter is upset because, even though she has a really cool princess room, it is not "her" original room, if that makes sense. I don't know about your son. My youngest is almost fifteen months and it was at about 13 months she started sleeping thorugh the night consisitentley and completely. She is great now. We used to give her something to drink ubt when we stopped and let her cry, she did great.

I highly suggest the 3 day sleep solution. (You can get a 30 day trial version for 10$) it does work.
our daughter (9 m0s) sleeps through the night now!

Basically they say TAKE AWAY ALL SLEEP AIDS immediately. strip the beds/cribs. No toys,no pacifiers, nothing. we gave our 2 1/5 yr old daughter a small stuffed animal)and for 7 days straight, you are supposed to let them learn to do this on their own.

You put them in bed. and 30 mins before you put them in bed you do all the stall tactics. (let them get a drink, let them go to the bathroom, tell them a story.) then you GET OUT of the room. You tell them this is the rule now and they need to learn this. It sounds terrible but if you are not 100% consistent, they know that it is optional. If they get out of bed, you are not supposed to "entertain them" by talking to them, asking whats' wrong, etc. Those are stall tactics. You are supposed to silently pick them up, (kicking and screaming) put them in bed, say "it's bedtime now- see you in the morning" and then walk out. Repeat. EVERY TIME. if you sway in your routine, they will know that you don't really mean it.
It actually worked for us and though some night are better than others, most are good. they need 100% consistency. Alsso, the sleep solution says that kids are not getting enough sleep at night. a 3 year old should be in bed /sleeping by no later than 7:30. (yeah right!) but it did work. if sshe goes to bed way later than that, then every night you put them to bed 15 mins earlier... so, if they go to bed around 9 then do 8:45 the next night. then 8:30 the next, 8:15 the next, down to 7:15 so they can be asleep by 730, and STICK TO IT!

The advice you recv'd on the 13month old is exactly what I would have said, leave some water in his crib and don't give him the milk. Just make sure he has a dry diaper on right before he goes to sleep. I put my son down every night w/ a sippy of water and he sleeps w/o a problem.

As for the 3 year old, I had the same problem with my daughter around the same age. In desperation for a full night sleep, I rummaged thru some of my old costume jewlery and found some mardi-gras beads. I gave them to her and tied them to her bed post. I told her that they were mommy's magic beads (from when I was her age) and they will keep her safe every night. I also have a small spray bottle I fill w/ water - I tell her it's "magic monster spray". It's become a habit every night to check that the beads are there and spray her closet and under the bed - but we have been getting full night sleep since.
You will also need to ensure that grandma knows it's not ok to let her sleep in the bed w/ her. She needs to walk her back to her own room and be consistant. Maybe her reward for staying in bed all night, is going into grandma's room in the morning for some cuddle time.

Good luck and try to be patient. Eventually you will get a full night sleep again.

If your son is just taking a little bit of milk, he isn't thirsty, it is a comfort measure. Our ped had me wean my son down by one ounce each night and then just give him water. Then after a night of water I just put the cup of water in his crib (make sure you have a no-leak variety) and left, then I would wait it out for 10 minutes. Most of the time he would stop crying on his own. now that teething is here, we are back in there occasionally.

I wish I could offer more advice on your daughter. We went through this with my daughter around this age. I think their imagination really takes off. It started after she gave up her binky, and she would wake routinely with bad dreams. The biggest mistake I made was letting her in my bed. It took months to undue that one momentary lapse. In the end, much to the irritation of my pediatrician and dentist, I let her have the binky back and most of the issues went away. I haven't been able to break the binky habit yet, but I don't want to have to go through more sleepness nights (I hope she won't go to college with a binky, and what kid doesn't need braces at some point?) Good luck to you and hope you get some much needed rest.

It helped me to have a routine with my 5 kids. We would brush teeth, read a book and say a prayer before bed time and my 5 kids stayed in their beds luckily. They did and my youngest, 3, still loves this routine. I do notice if I say I don't have time to read etc on a busy night she will climb out of bed etc but with the routine she never has a problem. You could offer a reward if she stays in her bed for at least a week then she can pick out a special treat or small toy or something. You just have to stay lovingly firm and make sure her grandmother sticks to the rules with you.

Hi R.,

Number one, Grandma needs to be on the same page as you.

Grandma needs to take the girl back to her room when she gets in bed with her. That is a must.

Two, Get up with your boy and give him a few sips of whatever and go back to bed.

The children will be gone before you know it. Take time to do things that they need. You will not regret it.

Good luck. Hope this helps. D.

I have a 3 year old son myself. My best advice I could give for getting your son to sleep through the night is don't give him milk when he wakes up. If he is in diapers, make sure his diaper is clean and put him straight back in bed and explain to him that he can have a drink as soon as he wakes up. If he cries, then let him cry. It will only take a few times for him to realize that he needs to stay asleep. Doing this will also help you during the day time hours because he will start to realize that he won't get everything he wants just because he cries. It was about 1 week of doing this with my son before it worked.

As for your daughter, my son went through a similar stage about a year ago. My husband got deployed and he always wanted to sleep with me saying that he was afraid in his room and that he missed his daddy. It was heart breaking, but I didn't let him sleep with me. I explained to him that he was a big boy and that as such he needed to sleep in his bed. I told him that if he continued to sleep in his bed he could get a big boy reward at the end of the week (a trip to a movie, a new toy, a trip to his favorite restaraunt, etc). My husband also sent him a stuffed animal and we told him that it would keep him company in bed. He told us that he would hug the animal so that it wouldn't be scared. He has slept in his own bed without a problem ever since.

Hi R.,

A child not sleeping through the night can cause quite a problem. I hope you find the answer that works well for you soon!

It has been my experience that people wake during the night because their body is asking for calcium. This could be your childs case if he goes right back to sleep after getting milk.

Our body will not develop or rebuild the bones until we have been horizontal for at least 30 minutes. At that time, a signal is given to begin bone development and rebuilding. The bones will pull calcium from the blood. If/when all the calcium has been used from the blood and there is still more work for the bones to do, a signal is sent to wake the person so they can add more calcium and lay back down.

If this is in fact the case, the person will usually complain of leg cramps, menstrual cramps, stomach pains, TMJ pain, tight shoulder muscles needing to be massaged often and etc.

My 8 year old daughter would wake in the night and would say her legs hurt and her stomach hurt. I took her to the doctor and he said it was normal for some children to complain of such pains. Finally, I applied what I know and do to my own child and thought, could she need more calcium? Well, that solved the problem. No more leg pains or stomach cramps and she sleeps like a rock!

Our body actually does not absorb the calcium in cows milk very well. I have found that most calciums from a vegetable source work just fine. I prefer collard greens and Herbal Healer's "Vegetable Calcium Plus".

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