Mom in Need of Help.

Updated on March 05, 2008
C.F. asks from Central Falls, RI
8 answers

I am about 33 weeks pregnant and have a 2 year old little girl who is my world. My boyfriend is a stay at home dad. I am real stressed out because of the baby coming because I am going to have to be out of work and wait for my paychecks from TDI. I'm already in debt with my bills. The gas is about to be shut off. I have been denied for food stamps and assistance from the state because I make too much money. I am real stressed out and depressed. My boyfriend has started looking for a job to have while i'm on maternity but it's hard because the economy is so bad and i'm still working.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all your advice. I am already on the housing list. My number is 923. I have been on that list for 2 years. My daughter and boyfriend and I have medical through the state (Rite Share). My boyfriend is waiting for me to go on medical leave so that he can work at a temp agency and not have to be restricted through my hours. Any more advice because you moms have been great.

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B.G.

answers from Barnstable on

Have you tried for fuel assistance or the housing assistance corporation? I know HAC offers utility and rent arreages. Maybe they could help or direct you in the right direction.

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D.M.

answers from Boston on

There are a lot of work from home options out there as well. They range from jobs that pay you per job, to home businesses. Get online and check them out. A really good site to go to is cafemom - there are many forums for moms who are looking for work/home businesses. That's where I found mine.

Good luck with the new baby! :)

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C.T.

answers from Bangor on

Ask the state is being pregnant counts as another dependent. In some situations it may.

I'm not sure what programs there are in your state, but if you call your Department of Health and Human Services, they should be able to help you with some assistance programs. Is WIC (Women Infant and Children) a program for food assistance (milk, cheese and cereals only) something they have around there?

There are usually rent assistance, heat assistance, electric assistance.. Call your electric company and ask them if they know of a program to help. Call all of the places you have bills and ask them if they know of programs available to help. (It never hurts to ask).

Staying home is sometimes economical, and sometimes not. If you have temporary companies around there, he may be able to find something 'temporary'.

I think everyone can understand how hard it is to make ends meet (my husband was laid off a year ago, and I was 3 months ago). So know you are not alone.

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S.D.

answers from Providence on

Hello C.,

My answer is, work from home. Your boyfriend can do it now as he is a home dad. I am looking to team up with people who want to build a home base business and I like to work with moms and dads as I myself have a little girl. Have him check my site out and he can request more information. We have online presentation to get the full picture.

http://momswantmore.com/S.

Thanks, S.

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K.V.

answers from Boston on

There must be food pantries in your area. Contact a local church and they can help you out with connections for help.
If your boyfriend REALLY wants work, he should be out there all day looking and applying. Has he gone to the unemployment agency? They have lists of jobs available. He could even sell all your extra stuff on ebay. My daughter does that when she needs money and it works well for extra funds.

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K.C.

answers from Boston on

C.:

I'm sorry for your situation, as a former (my kids are grown) single mom of three kids, I can understand the situation you are in. Many people have good advice here, here's some things I've learned over the years in order to survive:

1. Work with you landlord -- will he/she accept work around the place in exchange for rent?

2. Apply for Section 8 housing NOW -- it is a hard program to get into, with a long waiting list, so get the ball rolling now. Housing should never cost anyone more than thirty percent of their earnings, of course, unfortunately most people are far beyond that, much to their detriment. HUD (which runs the federal Section-8 program uses the thirty percent rule as a part of judging eligibility).

3. Get back down to the state Health and Human Services office, whichever branch you previously applied at. Apply for Supplemental Foodstamps and Medicaid, the earnings limits are higher for these seperate programs. They exclude the monthly cash grants.

4. Ask at that office about any state/federal programs for child health care assistance, if they disqualify you across te board for Medicaid, federal funds have been allocated over the years for states to set up child health care (Healthy Kids) programs for people who earn over the threshold for Medicaid.

5. Find out if your town or county has a local welfare/temporary assistance office. Ask them about local food pantries. Ask them about temporary assistance with you utility bills and STRESS that you have a shut-off notice for your gas, can they at least help you negotiate with the utility company on your behalf?

6. Ask the utility companies if they have their own assistance programs for those who need help. They often do as they get some federal funds for these, but they don't publicize them -- you have to ask.

7. Is your heat on gas? There may be some legal (seasonal) limitations on when the gas company can shut you off, check with your local or state agency, they will know. The details of these restrictions vary from state to state, so make sure you know all the details (sometimes they have a right if the bill is over a certain amount, no matter what time of year).

8. Cut down on your food bill as much as you can, if you don't have a crock-pot, see if you can find one at a thrift store, learn to buy whole chickens, meat bones and cook a meal and then a stew or soup the next day to stretch the budget. Buy beans and dried peas -- learn to use them. You can stretch the budget by cooking with basic foods and you'll be healthier too! Try to cut out as much pre-processed foods and unnecessary snacks as possible.

9. Your boyfriend can get work at the following national temporary employment places:

Manpower - they hire for manufacturing, some construction and other miscellaneous jobs, usually will place for permanent hire, very good agency.

CLP - will hire construction and trades workers and laborers -- decent company, possible to hook up for permanent hire.

Labor Ready -- not the best, but will get a few bucks in your pocket, mostly just odd menial day jobs, but they usually will provide transportation to and from the job and all branches will pay that same day. Those that make a good impression can often get hired permanent.

10. Shop thrift stores for baby clothes and household goods.

11. Sign up for the yahoo group "freecycle".

12. Find out if your community or ones nearby have a free clothes exchange, many do, run by local churches.

13. Take care of yourself, stay away from drinking (I know this sounds preachy) when you feel rotten, not only is it going to cost you in money, it also won't make you feel any better.

14. Get out! Take the baby for walks, I mean even when its cold out, bundle the baby up good, go to the library, walk through the park, or just down the street. Don't let yourself get shut in and isolated! If you are the one working, concentrate on your job, its what you need the most right now and make a progress time table for yourself and your S.O. and be flexible.

Hopefully you'll check back, I'd like to know how you are doing!

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N.P.

answers from Hartford on

I completely feel your pain. I'm a single mom making about $40,000/year which isn't a lot. Between the mortgage, car payment, bills, food, giving the kids what they need; i have nothing left. I had some major work done on my car a couple weeks ago ($600) and it really set me back to the point where i can not make my mortgage payment on time. I make too much to get any type of assistance. i've been at my current job for 10 years and i'm considering looking for a higher paying job. I've even had to resort to working a second job. Christmas is no fun because i barely have money to spend on them.

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N.F.

answers from Boston on

first let me say that oyu are not alone. I am a stay at home mom and my husband works. He does make good money but we still qualify for things. I live in Mass and I know the rules are different but I did a little of reasearch for you and here are a cuople of webs to try for help:

http://www.rigoodneighbor.org/needassistance.htm

http://www.ri.gov/resident/index.php?subcategory=12&l...

http://www.fns.usda.gov/fns/default.htm

http://www.usa.gov/index.shtml

As for your boyfriend goes if he can do something as far as construction goes like roofing, landscaping, framework they would more than likely hire part time or temp than a actual company and sometimes they pay well.

You can also contact your utility companies and let them know the spot that you are in. Trust me they will work with you. I made the big mistake of ignoring them and I am still paying the price for it.
If you need anymore help please e-mail me. I live in Mass but I would try to do as much reasearch as I could for you. Sometimes it can be very overwelming!! ____@____.com

N.

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