"Mission Impossible" Potty Training

Hi N.-- She might not be ready yet, so try not to stress. Look up "mile-stones", and it should be pretty easy to find the signs for potty trainig readiness. When I potty trained my son, he was 2yrs9mos, and I never used pull-ups, because I thought they were too much like a diaper. I put him in underwear on day one, and it was an awful, messy day, but after about a day and a half, he began to make progress every day. When he would backslide, I started putting him on the potty every half-hour. I thought potty-training was incredibly frustrating, but just remember, she'll go when she's ready. Good luck!

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She's just not ready. In order for it to work, your daughter has to show an interest and be able to know when she's about to go pee at the very least. Give her some more time, she's still young... otherwise, you both are just going to burn out before it actually happens.

The secrete is get on a schedule. Kids love schedules. Every 2 hours on the dot you take her to the bathroom and sit her on the potty. When you take her, take a book and read a book to her so you have a consistance of how long she is sitting on the potty. Get books on potty training, that is what I did. Do not use Pull ups, they are just mom's easy diaper. Use them only at night and only for a little while. Do not get dependent on them at night either. Get a chart with stickers and everytime she goes potty let her put a sticker on the board and make a big deal about it.

No offense to what the other moms are saying about waiting until your toddler is ready but when will she ever be ready if you are going to wait on her? Look at it through her eyes-she can pee whenever she wants without interruptions and never blinks. Put panties on her! Even with a pullup on they still don't feel anything! Its a diaper! A few times of having pee on her leg and being very uncomfortable and she will get it. They will understand what being wet means. Think about the "old days" when cloth diapers were the only option. Children were potty trained much sooner because the diapers were not as absorbant and parents got tired of cleaning out poop and washing them. And it is also a matter of wills. Your toddler isn't going to want to do it and you are going to rather put her in a diaper so just stick with it! Good luck!

Hi N., I didn't get to read everyone's reply so I hope I don't repeat anything.. I was in your shoes with my daughter who is now almost 3 1/2 and still can't tell me when she is going. I do have her in the cloth potty pants with the vinyl covers now for about 6 weeks. We use a potty watch to remind her to go. We have two choices of seats for her, a smaller ring for the big potty and one of the ones that sits on the ground (neither are anything fancy). We have had nuermous accidents even though we use uncentive tools (candy, stickers, a potty chart and at the end of each week she picks something from the dollar spot at Target). Always encourage trying, but leave it in her control. Toddlers can't control much but I have been told they can control whether they hold it in or not out of fear or whatever the case is. My DD is a little different in this aspect as she has some disabilities we are just learning about and sensory processing may be one of them. Which would mean her bladder can't tell her brain it's time.
My main advice is to give your daughter time. Have her go with you whenever you go but don't let her sit on the potty with a diaper or training pants on. A Dr who held a clinic on potty training also made a good point that the difficult kids to train shouldn't have any fancy pullups as they will just want to keep wearing them and if they hold in the fluid, why not just go in them...
I hope this has helped even just to give you ideas..

I haven't looked at other responses, so maybe you've already heard this, but with my daughter I just let her tell me when she was ready, and because she has a younger brother in diapers still and is very smart and wanted to be like him, she wasn't ready until recently when she found a pair of underwear she liked and I told her she couldn't wear them unless she started going potty in the toilet, and so she did. She just barely turned 3. We keep her in underwear now, but she doesn't always tell me. I never would have attempted it though until she wanted it. I know its nice to have them out of diapers, but there are worse things than dirty diapers. Anyways, hope this helps.

I am going to give you the best advice my doctor gave me. When she is ready you will know. If you rush it, it could take longer. It seriously only took me 3 days to finally train my son. I had tried a couple times before and it was like beating my head against a wall, pointless and painful. He is in a diaper to sleep at night but that is the only time. All of it was his idea, he came to me and said he needed to use the potty. You may be ready but she may not be.
Good luck!!
J.

I would like to gently point out that parents can't arbitrarily decide "it's time to potty train". It's a process in which the child has to be physically ready to control those bodily functions AND psychologically ready (often it means ready to let go of being a baby).

She's not even remotely ready. Give her a bunch of kisses and go play, and drop that topic for quite a few months. When she's ready, you'll recognize it.

Hi N.. My daughter was the same. She could care less to have a dirty diaper and would just go to the bathroom in pull-ups without telling me she needs to go. What worked for us initially was to just let her run around naked and frequently show her the potty and ask her if she needed to go. This eventually progressed to working when she had pants on without undies. Somehow she will just go in undies when she is wearing them- they must feel somewhat like a diaper to her. She has been completely diaperless for 3 weeks during the day and she has only had a few accidents. I also like to read her lots of potty books. Good luck!

sounds like she's not ready. Wait a few months and try again.

I disagree with everyone else. I've potty trained 3 different kids at age 2. I think one great thing about training at a young age is you do it before the kids get smart enough to manipulate their parents during training. A 3-4 year old is very smart! I just finished potty training my 26month old. Here is the trick that I believe why most parents (notice I said parents and not kids) fail. COMMIT to potty training for 10 days, this means no diapers, no pull ups(which are just diapers) during the day. If you want to avoid messes, you have to committ to doing this all day long for at least 4 days. Talk about Pee and Poop all day long, get them on the potty, lots of fluids. I put a little potty whereever we are in the house and sometimes if I know the child is close to having to go they will sit on the potty for a while (1/2 hour?) and read a book. Also, it you go out in public don't bring out the diapers.--I think this has always worked for me because I didn't go back and forth between big kid undies and diapers when I wanted it to be convenient. I can almost guarantee that the first 3 days will be hell, it won't seem like its working but around the 4th or 5th day you should be seeing success. Sorry if this sounds harsh but you just have to not waver.

N., she's not ready to potty train yet. My suggestion would be to back off for a while. My son will be 2 tomorrow and starting a couple of months ago, he expressed alot of interest in the potty and even went in it several times. Now, he's lost interest. We aren't pressuring him in the slightest. When he's interested again, he'll let us know.

Like everyone else has said she probably isn't ready. My son turned 2 in December and he is just starting to get excited about it and the only reason for that is because daddy and I have given up our privacy when we go to the bathroom so that he can see what we do. Another thing you may want to try is putting her in big girl pants (not pull-ups) so that she gets a sense of what she is doing... this helped my son see kinda what was going on down there. Just a suggestion. But don't push it and she will let you know when she is ready.

Not every child trains at two. She may not be ready yet. I'd give it a few months and try again. It could be a power struggle at this point. Just let it go.

"How do you potty train a toddler who dosen't care that her diaper is yucky?" You don't. You daughter is obviously not ready for potty training yet. Just give her 3-6 months off and then try again. I made this same mistake wiht my first daughter because I thought that if I started training earlier that would make the process finish sooner, but it does not. I started with my first when she was only 18 months old, I did not pressure her or scold her for accidents or anything negative, but it was still not a good idea. She was not potty trained effectivly until seh was 2 1/2. SO with my second daughter I did not START potty training unil she was 2 1/2. It was SO much easier on both of us than if I had tried too early, my second daughter was potty trained in about a month, wiht NO accidients to speak of after 2 months. And I did not waste much money on pull-ups, after the first bag of pull-ups ran out she did not need them anymore so we went to big girl undies. So take some time off the whole potty trainging thing until your daughter is ready, it is so much better than trying to train a child who is not ready. Good luck!

it sounds like you're starting too early. Kids will let you know when they are ready to potty train, and one the signs is caring that they are wet or messy. I would stop trying for a while and let her decide when she's ready to use the potty... otherwise you may end up with a constant potty-time battle and power struggle

HI N.,

Rmember, she is only 2... There is nothing the "book" of parenting that says that she needs to be potty trained this very minute. Of course, we get tired of changing diapers, but that goes with being a Mom. My oldest was always nudie patutie when she was that age... So, and this is going to sound funny, she was trained like a dog. If she had an accident on the floor, we would just direct her to the bathroom. After a couple months of accidents, she always made it to the potty.
The youngest, had an advantage- she wants to do everything her big sister does... So she actually wanted to use the "big potty". She continued to go in her diaper, however, until I came up with the golden idea; "If it worked for the oldest, why won't it work for th youngest?" So off the clthes came, and two months later, even though she hase speach trouble, she was potty trained! We have had very few accidents, not even in the toddler bed. Hope this helps...

Namaste

So many responses!! I'm not going to give you my advice, only tell you that with all 3 of my kiddos I waited until they were ready and then it was easy & each one of them was different as far as when, what motivated them and whether they had accidents. I do know several children that have been potty trained at 2 with great success, but they showed signs of being ready - telling parents when they needed to be changed, interested in the potty, talking about it, etc... Good luck!!

Sounds like she is not ready for potty training yet.

hate to tell you this but she sounds like she isn't ready for potty training. It is one of the things that they get to control and if she isn't into it you are just going to be making guesses and getting frustrated. I know that it sounds great to have them trained at 2 but she will decide when she is ready and until then it is something that you just can't force.

If your daughter isn't ready to potty train, then I would just wait. Otherwise she will get frustertated and it will just take longer. Let her tell you when she is ready.

I tried to trained my twins when they weren't ready and it took a mere 14 months of training. They were training me! Pull-ups suck!

Ha ha!

M.

I would back-off and try again in 3-6 months. Most kids are not ready when they are that young. Also, the one secret you have to do is to throw away all diapers and pull-ups in front of the child. Kids are smart and use them for their benefit. Don't ever go back to using them either, unless they are necessary for night only because some kids wet the bed until age 5 or older. But once she wakes up, go to the potty first thing and put her back into big girl panties.

There's a book called "How to potty train in one day". I would read up on that, or on one that is similar, so that you have a plan before you start again. It's easiest to just potty train with panties and a little T-shirt. Practice running to the toilet from all rooms in your house. Make plans to stay at home for at least 3 days straight. Never get mad and tell her you have to practice hurrying. Teach her the difference between wet and dry panties. Best wishes!

She is young, very young.
2 can happen in potty training but unless all her body functions are in place no amount of coaxing will work.
My daughter potty trained herself at 2 and regressed big time. Her body has to be able to hold it, know the urge, wake up dry at naps and in the mornings before she is really ready.
Don't push her or it will backfire.
I successfully trained two children by letting it happen at their own pace, I started the process close to them being 3 ( my daughter for round two) and did it with pullups and a reward chart. Both were done in two weeks and it was 100% done in three (meaning night too). I say to parents would you rather battle ongoing for a long time or rather when you do start have it over with completely quickly?
I do not believe in putting underwear on them until they are completely ready, it causes stress, messes and just adds to the stress of it all. Wait, do pullups, take her every hour and a half and set her on the potty. DO NOT ask if she has to go as most kids will say no even if they have to.
Just do it, set her and ask her to please try.
Find something she really is into, make a chart around earning stars/stickers for earning that thing.
For my son transformers. I started with him end of July when he turned three, by end of August he was in underwear 100% all the time without accidents.
Up to you, but I highly recommend waiting until all the cues are in place and not push or worry too much, she is very young.

My son was 3.5 and on the fence. We enrolled him in preschool and they had the little toilets and urinals AND peers. Amazing what the combination did to motivate him. Suddenly it was cool and everyone was doing it. Good Luck!

Hi Nellie,
I understand it is very effective if you take her outside and hose her down after she's messed in her pants. That kind of gets their attention that you are serious about not having to clean up a (dirty) diaper anymore. If you are into a less dramatic way you can take her into the bathroom about every half hour or so, set her on the potty and wait patiently. Whatever way you choose please be consistent. L.

When she is ready she will let you know, but the worst thing is to push her, the more you push the more she will resist. My daughter is not in the norm, she isn't even 2 yet and we are in the process of potty training, but it was all her idea. I keep pull ups on hand and then in the morning when we change her I give her a choice of a diaper or big girl pull ups. Most of the time it is the pull ups. But I let her choose and if she chooses diaper that is fine. She is starting to get it, but it will take some time and learning. Good luck with it, some ideas for when she does start getting interested, we have a potty that sings when she pees and she thinks that is the coolest ever! Plus letting her choose between a diaper and a pull up is good. She will let you know when she is ready, don't worry about it!

Toileting is like so many other things in life. . . you can only help those who want to help themselves. It sounds to me like your little girl is simply too young just yet. I started early with my first son and ended up with a six-month project and a lot of wasted energy. With my second son, I waited until he was three and was able to teach him to use the toilet reliably in two days, and he's even dry overnight. Waiting for readiness will make it so much easier.
In the meantime, you can let her "make friends" with her little toilet, sitting on it to keep you company while you are using the big toilet, or trying to urinate in it before baths, etc. Comment positively on learning to stay "clean and dry," not just arbitrarily sitting on the toilet. I got a lot out of the book "Toilet Training in Just One Day" by Azrin, and the suggested method is simple and logical but still, only effective if your child is genuinely ready. It doesn't sound like your daughter is showing any signs of readiness, so I suggest holding off and enjoying a little more babyhood. ;)

Read the book "toilet training in less than a day" and wait until she's more interested.

You're going to have to WAIT UNTIL SHE'S READY. That's the bottom line. When SHE cares, you'll know. She's not even 2 1/2 yet. That is still VERY young to be potty-training. I WILL tell you one thing though- I pushed my son too early and I had to wait a whole 'nother year before he would willingly do it. Push her now, and you can almost guarantee to DELAY her being potty-trained.

I'm so sorry.
My 3 1/2 yr old little girl just barely potty trained. She was the same way..she would sit in a messy diaper all day..never seemed to bother her. She didn't do bribes or pull-ups either. It took me almost 7 months to potty train her. I would just let your little girl go..if shes not ready it will be more of a struggle for you. Trust me..i did it. I'm pregnant with our third..and wanted my little girl potty trained before he comes..and i pushed way to hard..when I finally just backed off she did it by herself. She is still so young..i wouldn't push her to hard for your sanity. Hope that helps..and your not alone:)

She may not be ready to potty train yet. You may just want to wait a little bit on this adventure. It will make it a lot easier on you if you let her do it in her own time. I tried to train my second son at 3 and he wasn't ready (my first son went cold turkey day and night with only a few accidents the day after he turned 3). When he was ready a few months later, he caught on very quickly for the daytime stuff. He still needs a pull up at night at a little over 4. Be patient about this, she is still fairly young.

I hate to tell you this, but she simply is not ready for potty training. I tried at 2 years with my daughter, as well, and she acted the same as your daughter. I finally gave up after about 2 weeks. I tried again in 4 months and it worked out great. She was in big girl panties in 3 days. Keep in mind that it was a lot of work, but I think waiting was the best thing for her. Another thing that worked for us is that I placed her on the potty every 30 minutes - even when we went out in public. I didn't make her stay there long, but it seemed to work. I also gave her one of the those little mini M&M's every time she went in the potty - plus we made up a potty song & dance and did that each time, too.

Really, there is no way to train a toddler who doesn't care if she's wet or dirty, and who doesn't have a lot of verbal skills yet. You can train YOU to put her on the potty every hour and hope, but that's about all.

Put her back in diapers and wait. She could be ready in 4 months or 6 months, or maybe not for a year or more (the average age for a girl to be really potty trained is 35 months). Avoid turning it into a power struggle because she will win.

I'd like to tell you some magic trick, but it really seems like she's just not ready yet. Do some research on the signs of being ready to potty train and then wait till your daughter starts to exhibit those signs. I tried too early with my son and it became a 2 1/2 year battle. I wish I could do that over again because it would save us many tearful episodes (on both of our parts!). With my daughter, we waited till she was almost three and it only took 2 days. I really would just relax for a while and wait till she cares if she's wet, can communicate the need to go, and is motivated to do it. Good luck!

I know you have received quite a bit of response, but I wanted to add my two bits. Most kids don't potty train until closer to 3 years old. There are exceptions, but the ones I know of are "mommy trained". Make it a fun experience. My brother pushed really hard on his 2 year old and he just plain wasn't ready. He is now in 1st grade and still having problems because he knows it bothers his parents. If you push to hard and they aren't ready, then it only puts fear into them and frustrates you. I have 4 kids and never pushed any of them. They all came to me when they were ready and potty trained on their own. I have only cleaned up a few accidents. My 2nd child (girl) at 2 1/2 came to me and asked me to buy her panties, I took her to the store let her pick them out and that day I throw the diapers away. Easy and done! Make it positive, if they aren't ready don't push them! Wait a few months and try again, but again don't push. I'm not a pushover kinda mom, My kids know when I'm serious, but I was given advice years ago...Pick your battles! This bit of advice has kept me calm and the things that don't matter, but when I put my foot down, they don't argue very long. I also try to never say "no" so if they ask for a cookie, I try to let them, but ask them to wait and then keep my word, Or let them play with friends...even for 5 min. Then they know that I'm on their side and want them to be happy, but then when there is no way to say no, they know it is not because I want to punish them.

My middle child was very independent at that age and what worked for us was letting her run around naked for an entire summer when at home. She was more aware that she didn't have anything to "catch" her accidents. We also had her potty in the room she stayed in the most so it wasn't out of sight out of mind. She would sit on it for awhile and watch tv sometimes. I also kept her out of certain rooms I didn't want accidents in. I know it sounds weird but it really worked wonders for us. Good luck!