Missing Naps at Daycare Results in Grumpy Baby!

I agree with Deb K. You should talk to the daycare and find out about the nap environment. Do they at least keep the environment quiet and dimmed? What about their nap routine? You want to keep your routine at home the same as at daycare. Perhaps your prenap routine is different at home than at daycare, which is making it hard for him to relax at school now that he's older.
Also, some kids need more winding down time than others, especially in such a stimulating environment as daycare. I know the older my son got, he more winding down time he needed, BEFORE the nap routine started. Perhaps before they begin nap, they can have him draw?
You do need to think about whether he really needs two naps. He may just need some quiet time. I know you said he naps twice on weekends, but sometimes kids do that because they are more stimulated by being at home. Think about it: all kids love to be home, and on weekends, you are home too. Very exciting. I am a sahm, and my son went to one nap a day much later than yours - about 18 mo - but he does the same thing on weekends, he takes a morning and afternoon nap. He is just so excited because Daddy's home he tires himself out. It was a rough transition, but eventually we all got used to it. To help, I made sure he got quiet time. If he wasn't going to nap, we hung out in his room, with the lights dimmed, or we colored quietly, or read books. Something quiet and calming. Most days, he took a morning nap and had quiet time in the afternoon. That's usually all he needed -a break from the stimulation, and then he would be much less grumpy, and able to continue with the day. Now he has an unreliable nap schedule, but still just one a day except weekends.
Also, some kids are afternoon rather than morning napppers. If they absolutely cannot get two naps out of him, ask if they could try keeping him awake in the morning, but in a less stimulating environment, and have him nap in the afternoon. My son is a late morning or LATE afternoon napper. He sleeps from 10-12 or from 3-5, and still goes to bed around 8pm. Whatever works for you, but you need to make sure he is getting 13-15 hours of sleep, however you can get it out of him. It is important for his mental and physical development.

He's still taking the two naps at home. So, he may still need 2 naps. Many states have regulations regarding naps at daycare, so look into that. And they are supposed to provide a quiet place, with dimmed lighting and no distractions for the nap. Ask to be shown where they nap, and what the procedure is. Generally, kids who won't nap are still expected to have 'quiet time' and most will fall asleep anyway.

Also, try sending a lovey, like a blanket or small stuffed toy, for him to use during naps. It may help.

It might be time to give up the morning nap. My boys did that around 1 year. At first it was hard to keep him awake. I had to hurry to feed him lunch at 11:00 and get him in bed soon after. Then he could make it until noon, then 12:30, then 1:00...Does the day care have a schedule, or do the kids sleep at different times? My first was in day care full time, and my second 2 days/week. The 1 year old room had a schedule - no morning naps, and everyone went down after lunch in a darkened room. My youngest never napped very well in the baby room (under 1 year), probably because there was no schedule, and the room wasn't dark.

H.,
I agree with the other moms that your son is probably moving towards a one-nap schedule. I'm surprised your day care provider didn't suggest that. Try delaying his morning nap later and later.
Also, I'd just let him sleep in the car. Very rarely should you wake kids up, I think. I bet you'll find he'll go to sleep at the regular time.
Give any change several weeks, if not months, to adjust.
Good luck! I understand how frustrating it can be to inherit a grumpy baby from daycare. You think, what's the point? Your only time with him is miserable. Hang in there; it will get better.

Around 1 yr children often give up one of their two naps. He doesn't seem to be getting that much sleep in the am. So maybe just aim for 1 nap in the afternoon. That way he is more tired by that time?? Once my daughter transitioned to one nap a day she started sleeping for 2-3 hours in the afternoon. Of course it takes a couple weeks of transition. Good luck!

Maybe skipping his morning nap he will be more tired at Daycare and take a nap. Talk to the daycare about the environment, like all the kids should be quiet, resting, it should be a more darkened room and bring something of comfort from home.

A overly tired baby backfires I learned the hard way.
When my son gave up naps all together around 3 I put him down to bed at 6:30! Some of my friends thought I was nuts but I gave him the choice early bedtime or naps and he chose to give up naps! :) He was wiped out and went fast to sleep and it wasn't an issue as he would sleep a good 12 to 13 hours.
At your sons age he needs from 13 to 15 hours in a day for good rest so however you can get those hours in. If he is doing 12 hours at night, then he may just need the one nap in the afternoon.

I think my daughter went to one bigger nap a day when she was about 16 mos and my son a little sooner. Both had naps until 3 if not longer but my son hated two naps a day so about the year mark I laid him down at noon and he slept until 2:30, that was plenty for him and he was in bed by 7pm.

All kids are different and I would really talk to the daycare about why he is having such a hard time. At least if they ensure he is quiet and resting that is all they can do probably but if he is napping before he gets there then he probably isn't tired.
So adjust the morning naps and see if that helps. Good luck, he will shift his sleep habits many times, all you can do is make sure you are on the same routine as the daycare and make sure he is getting the sleep he needs, but you cannot force him to nap either! :)

He needs to be going to bed way earlier. He fights you because he is overtired. Especially if he isn't napping at daycare. I know this cuts into your time to spend with him, but if he gets better sleep at night, he might start napping at daycare again. He should be going to bed about 7, even 6:30. It sounds early, but trust me it will make all the difference. My son gave up his afternoon nap at 9 months and he would go to be about 5:30 every night and sleep all night. Then take a morning nap. He did that pretty much until he gave up the morning nap and just went to one nap. He's 5 now and still goes to bed at 7. So try moving his bedtime up. That will help you a lot.

Hi, H.! You might try talking to your daycare about moving your son to one nap in the afternoon and doing away with the morning nap; he may sleep longer in the afternoon than the 30 min. in the morning he's doing now, and he won't be so worn out by evening. i remember my daughter going to one nap in the afternoon when she was about a year old.
Good luck! Happy holidays!
S.