I am very sorry to hear about your experience. I have had a miscarriage prior to each of my children. The second time, I was home alone with my son who was only two. It is not something I wish anyone to ever have to experience. I was supposed to get a DNC both times and refused. My belief is that God made our bodies the way that he did and everything would come out naturally. I had to go for weekly blood tests until my hcg count was zero both times. My second miscarriage was at the end of January 2006 and I was able to conceive a month later, believe it or not! And my daughter was born on November 25, 2006! I know that doctors say to wait 3-6 months, but my belief is that if my body wasn't ready then I wouldn't be able to conceive.
Regardless of what you were experiencing with being sick, our bodies are made to take the nutrients that are needed for the baby first from our bodies. I would not think that would have been a contributing factor. With my daughter, I was barely able to eat anything the whole nine months as I was constantly throwing up everything that I ate. Which was very difficult for me as I felt like I was starving for 9 motnhs and constantly hungry! It did not affect her at all. She was a very healthy little girl and weighed 6lbs 13 oz.
It is natural to beat yourself up over every little detail. I could have done this or should have done that...No! Don't do that to yourself. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. With my two losses, I just kept telling myself that and it was nature's way of letting me know that something wasn't right. I would rather go through a miscarriage if it meant that the next time I would have a healthy baby...In my case, both times I did.
No it is not a pleasant thing to go through, and YES you will think of your loss and you will experience the pain at different intervals in your life when you least expect it. Somedays it will not even cross your mind. You are not being too emotional. You had a very emotional experience and these things take time. I know that you felt love for your baby the moment that you found out and your baby passed away. It is very normal for us to grieve when we have lossed loved ones when they pass. It is not any differnt to grieve your baby.
I completely understand where you are at and if you need to talk to someone who has been there feel free to contact me at ____@____.com you feel that you are emotionally ready, you and your husband can try again since you were both so excited about this little one. Just take it as a blessing in disguise. There may have been something wrong with your baby and God didn't want you to have the burden of it.
I hope I have helped and God Bless!