Looking for Adive on Sleeping Issues

M.,

My daughter slept with me up until about a year ago and we went through the same thing. We actually started to have her do what we call relax time, at a predetermined time she was put in the bed, and she could watch a 30 to 45 min movie. I would be with her and reading a book. once the show was over the TV went off and so did the lights. I found that if I did not pay attention to her and try to make her sleep she kind of went on and did it on her own. Before that we also would do things like, telling her to close her eyes, she was not allowed to lay there with her eyes open. We kind of made a ritual out of sleep time. don't know if this will work for you but I hope this helps.

I co-slept with my son the first three months. However, hindsight being 20/20 I should have put him in a crib with a separate room at 1-1/2 months. He started with the same sleeping patterns around then. Once I had it at 3 months we put him in a crib with soft music and a sound thing that had the option of the heart beat under his crib. Those two things are VERY helpful and worth the money. Anyway, for the first week it was rocky but then he got used to it and slept like an angel. We had no more problems getting him to sleep. It was as if he wanted that all along. Questions. What time do all of you go to sleep? He could be staying awake because he doesn't want to miss anything. How many naps does he take? Maybe too many. Hang in there there's hope but get your own place soon! THe separate room is the answer. By the way there is a monitor out there called Angel something, we used it but it's been a while, it has a pressure plate to put under the crib mattress that will sound an alarm if there is anything wrong-it prevents SIDS. It also functions as a monitor. It will buy you a peace of mind.

Dear M.,

Sleep deprivation can make you feel like you are losing it...no doubt. Is your quality of sleep what it should be? you say he sleeps 10 hours. Do you get that..or something close? I co-sleep off and on...my daughter is 3. she still takes an afternoon nap...that's my for sure downtime. Does your son nap?
It sounds like you have done a good job on getting the night as good as you can...without looking at other physical causes for your son not going to bed earlier.
Tried low yellow lights...like candlelight or a bug light several hours before bed? Blue light waves in normal light bulbs and flouescents stimulate our brains to stay awake...and stop melatonin production.

I feel your pain!! My daughter is 3 and we still co sleep, i am fine with co sleeping, but the night owl thing is very hard. i know you can get NO time to yourself. my daughter used to stay up until 12 or 1 am every night. at that time i used to let her nap pretty late in the afternoon, so i tried to move her naps back. but i noticed it does not work if you try to keep them from sleeping during the day, because being overtired makes them not be able to fall asleep. so what i did in conjunction with not letting her nap crazy late was start the whole bath, reading, pajamas thing ridiculously early, like 6:30 or 7, and i would get in bed and turn off the lights and pretend i was going to sleep. of course i would also not let her out of bed, just keep reminding her "nope, its bedtime now" all business like and then close my eyes again. minimize all talking, lights, etc. she would talk to herself and roll all around but i wouldnt get in a conversation with her. I think i may have bored her to sleep eventually. but i gotta tell you, i had to do this for a week...and she didnt fall asleep until maybe 11 even though we laid down at 7. for at least 5 days of that week. hell. but after a week, she DID start falling asleep around 8!!!! i think you have to change their whole internal sleep pattern. i know its very hard and very annoying. but i know you can do it, and you are not alone! don't feel bad that you are keeping him in the bed, its actually good for him to be going to bed earlier and have a happier mama too. GOOD LUCK girl.

I co-sleep with both my children and my son, too, is a night owl. My goal for him is asleep no later than 9. I start my routine earlier, then we lay in bed quietly. If he's having a hard time I usually rock him for a bit. When he's having a really hard time, and 9 comes around, I just say, Conner, the clock says 9 and it's time for bed. I'm going to bed now. Then I roll over and that's that. If he's getting 10 hours of sleep, though, he may just not need more. You can try waking him earlier or putting him down for a nap earlier. Do it slowly, like 10 minutes at a time until you reach your desired time. It will take a while for him to adjust and it's not fair to go from, say 10:30, to 9:00 suddenly. Remember, everything comes in time :). Good luck!

Hi M., I don't have advice really, but I benefited from the responses to your question. My son (25 months) co slept with us til about 3 weeks ago (we really needed to night-wean). He went to sleep easier when we coslept (even though I wouldn't actualy go to bed til several hours after he fell asleep). I don't know what is going on, but its making me very frustrated that we start going down at 7:30 and he doesn't go to sleep til 9 or 9:15. He used to go to sleep at 8, then it went to 8:30 and now 9. arg.

So, I guess I'm just saying that co-sleeping or not, 2 year olds and bedtime are tough. Maybe work toward getting him up earlier in the morning, which may move his bedtime earlier. I wouldn't stress about co-sleeping. Being in his own bed might even make it worse before it made it better. WE are still waiting...

good luck!

Perhaps the No-Cry SLeep SOlution for toddlers? I think it's a book that would really help you. I too co-slept (well, still do) with my kids and what worked was everyone going to bed the same time. Of course this may not be practical with you, but with with us, a husband who gets up at 5:30, me who has to get up early for work, it just worked out to take teh kids to bed with us at 8:30, 9:00. Sorry I wish I had more advice.

HI.

I was having the same problems with my little one. She is 18 months now and has co-slept with us since the beginning. I really don't think the co-sleeping part has anything to do with him going to sleep at night. I think you would have the same problem even if he was in his own room.

The biggest thing that I have noticed that changed my baby going to sleep is her napping during the day. It took me a little time to figure it out but now that I have it has made our lives a lot easier at night time and I get some much needed mommie time. I agree and disagree with the theory that says a child who naps during the day sleeps better at night. The two major things I figured out was - no napping after 3:30 pm and no nap longer then 1.5 hours. If she didn't get a nap in before 3:30 pm then she doesn't get a nap that day and I usually put her to bed a little earlier. Although she can become very cranky that day and it does take a little more from me to entertain her and keep her happy but to me it is worth it because I will get my night time break. I also noticed if I let her sleep longer then 1.5 hour during her nap - we have a late night. So, I wake her up if she naps to long. So, I do think it is good that toddlers nap - although I think there has to be some conditions to that.

Not sure how much help this is - but know you are not alone with this issue.

Good Luck.

HI M.,
I have a 2.5 yr. old. He has co-slept with us since he was 3 months. We went through that stage where it was a fight to go to bed. He wanted to be with his brothers or anywhere but in bed. For my son, a flashlight did the trick. Just a small one, that he could play with in bed, shine on the ceiling and walls, we even made finger figures in the light. It destracted him enough to let him relax and he would fall asleep. Some nights it took him longer than others. But the flashlight was a treat for bedtime and is still occassionally a part of his bedtime routine!
hope this helps.
Lari Beth

I'm currently reading a book that might help you. Heathly Sleep Habits, Happy Baby by Marc Weissbluth. He includes co-sleeping in his advice. My 15 month old is sleeping now and I am soooooo much happier.
B