Liv-in MIL Anger Issues

Oh dear, you gave your power away along with your money. Please consult with a real estate lawyer and figure out how to take your life back. You may need to sell the house. Hopefully the lawyer can help you. You are risking your health and family to continue because of money. No amount of money is worth that. Do NOT tell your MIL your plans till they are firm. If you wait for your in-laws to do the right thing, you wait in vain. Take your life and power back. Show your children by example how to treat people and still keep dignity. It's all up to you. You are strong, you've just allowed yourself to be beaten down. Get up . See the lawyer. Take your life back. :)

The other moms are right about the lawyer, and I'd start there. But there may be another issue that could help you.

If your MIL claims that the 130K down and subsequent payments are "gifts" to her, rather than an interest in the property, then she is in a world of hurt regarding her income taxes. Legally, any person can receive only a $10K gift without having to report it as INCOME. If she didn't REPORT this on her taxes, she has a problem.

You might be able to use this as leverage to get your money back, if not your house back.

My only other comment, and I apologize in advance for this: your spouse needs to grow a pair and have your back. The fact that he's letting them do this to you and your family is ridiculous.

So much good luck to you hon. No one deserves to be in such stress in her own home.

I have to agree with some of the other moms. You may have to cut your losses for the sake of your marriage, your health, and your kids. Take this as a lesson learned.

Also, with regard to legal standing, I suggest seeking an attorney to find out if you have any legal standing. But even if you don't, it's worth walking away and letting it go.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

Get an Attorney and get them out. You need your space and your life. There are people looking for loop hopes in mortgage docs etc. Hopefully they can find someone for you so you can get your space. If it doesnt work move out and rent out your rooms. Someone to really annoy you mil back

Wow! What a horrible spot to be in. It was a BIG mistake to use your money to buy a house in HER name, but that's done. Goodwill only goes so far with people who are takers.

Get some legal advice.

At the worst, you may have to walk away from the house and find yourself a new place for you, hubby & kids.....even a very small apartment would probably seem like heaven. God bless.

First, meet with a lawyer and find out your rights.You could sell your part back to them and find another place. Or, infiltrate into the rest of the home. It is your home too! Take control and move on. Calmly let them know things will be changing due to the size of your family. It doesn't matter the house is in her name, you paid for most of it! Itemize the financials and present that to them. You don't mention, where is your husband? You're in a pickle and you need to take control. Remember, it may seem bad, but things could always be worse.

You have learned are hard lesson NEVER pay for something that is not in your name. I would look for some other place to live and move what's she going to do follow you? I don't think so. You need your place without all of the drama to get better and it will never happen there. Seek an attorney and I wish you lots of luck. Your MIL and BIL's don't have the money to pay you back or they would/should have. Make a plan and stick to it and move on. The other S.

PS It is your MIL's credit that will be hurt when you leave not yours.

I feel for you. My MIL moved in with us for six weeks 7 years ago and it still feels like she was here for years...I still have PTSD. For your sanity sake, you may want to consider letting the house go...it will only ruin her credit, not yours. Or you could let her know you require more space in the house and they need to pay their portion or you will move out. Sounds like they are mooching off of you anyway.

There's a positive and effective communication tool that you might want to investigate. My husb. and I use it often with each other and find it extremely helpful in clarifying what the real issues are in any conflict, and gives a positive pathway to resolution. One person can use it, too, it does not require both parties to understand or apply it.

If you are interested, google NON-VIOLENT COMMUNICATION for books, examples, tips, videos, and classes. It can probably make a big difference for you if you really have no way to remove yourself from this difficult situation.

My best to you.

Hello A.,

As I'm reading your dilemma I am looking for how your husband supports your situation and I don't see evidence except to yell at his mother. All of this sounds like a bunch of teenagers who never found maturity to grow up. We all make the choices that put us into situations we find ourselves in. What role did you play in this? What role are your going to take on to change? What are the good aspects to your life? You knew this family before you handed over your nest egg. Where is your family? I have no advice, only questions...

Good luck,
Wendy

I definitely agree with all the other mom's that you need to 1st get an attorney! If the mortgage, taxes, down payment, etc are all paid via checks in your name, you may have a good case. However, if there is nothing you can do to get them out or get the house in your name, then is it really worth your family's health? The unhealthy emotional situation with the inlaws will affect your kids for the rest of their lives and whether it's negative or positive is up to you and your husband. It's just a house....you, your kids, and your marriage are much more important than any material thing. If you can afford the cost of this house then you can afford to rent somewhere and let the MIL pay the consequences for her actions. Learn from your mistakes (putting the house in her name) and move on.

Good luck and stay strong!

How many people do you have living in that house? Your family of 5, your MIL, FIL and 2 BIL? Nine people?!? I think a situation like that would drive anyone up the wall. You put down $130,000 for the house but it's under your MIL's name? You need a lawyer. Try to get the money you put into the house back and get your own place for just you, your husband and your 3 kids.

This is going to be a hard battle no matter what you do... unless you have proof that the $130K wasn't a "gift" to your in-laws. I'm not sure whey the BILs are there also... are they grown??

We have a house that was "given" to us to pull it out of a condemtion for an old lady... it has been a huge pain - sorry but it has. She is living in the house we own next door & can't even get her out of it. She has damaged the house, let people move in that shouldn't (who have damaged the house), had a ton of animals roaming around spraying & pooping everywhere, and has had the cops there a number of times - causing issues with the neighbors. But because of the "verbal" contract we had - it has been a very hard fight... back in Dec we had the contract put in writing & evicted all the "extra" people she has living there, but the courts left her in the our house (not the one she gave us). She has since let the people we evicted move back in & we have to go back to court to start all over. But are hoping that now that we have a written agreement it will go easier... don't get me wrong - when we started all this we were asked to help her & did choose to do so, but never emagined that she would be as mean or nasty as she is, or take advantage of the situation or us when even her kids wouldn't help her... she hasn't paid us anything that she was suppost to (taxes or insurance) or followed through even on the Ohio's Live Estate Laws - with is how she transfered the house to us. Her daughters haven't talked to her in months because of what she is doing to us... and they were the ones that helped set-up the whole deal & understand why we just can't help anymore.

We have told her she can have her house back - just give us what we have invested in it... and she has refused. She is getting a "free" ride and I almost lost my house last year over all of it... got laid off & spent everything I had to help her. But she still says "I haven't done S*** for her." Eventhough the roof she is living under FOR FREE is our house - she had no link to it at all... since we bought it from a bank before we even knew her.

Honestly... I'm not sure why your MIL is so nasty to you when you have helped her so much. If you are paying most of the bills & have proof of that - you might have hope. Contact a lawyer to see if anything can be done... but with the house in her name - they are going to have to let you know your options. Also, I'd try to get the BIL's out so that your kids have the ablity to have more room - take back over the parts of the house that you should be "sharing" and the backyard as well. Unless your MIL changes, you kids will see her for what she is & there is really nothing you can do to change that. Kids make their own chooses as to who to like & dislike... based on her actions is how they will make that desition.

Try to take care of yourself though - do whatever you can to stop yourself from falling back into the hole of depression... I know it can be hard. Even if you can take your kids for a walk a few times a week (around the block can even be good) just to get away from the situation for 30 min - should do you good.

I wish you TONS of luck & LOTS of strength to keep going & get through this... I know you will find a way!