Letting 11 Years Old Be on His Own on with His Bike and Helmet To/from Home

Just a thought - but, if you don't want to get him a cell phone yet, my neighbor got her son a walkie-talkie to use that had like a 2 mile radius. That way she could reach him at any time. The one rule was that if she called him, he had to answer or he would lose his privledge of riding his bike to his friends house, park, school, etc.

Just another idea in case you don't want to do the cell phone thing just yet.

Good luck!

Here are tow great resources:
AAA--California Bicycle Laws brochure (F4138) helmet fine is $25 according to this.
League of American Bicyclists-- www.bikeleague.org teaches a great 9 hour class (over 3 weeks) that I had my son take and now he is much more prepared and safe in lots of situations. I think this class should be mandatory.
Good luck!

My daughter started riding her bike to school in 6th grade and it helped her be more responsible about getting herself up and ready for school. etc. Now that she has her drivers license other parents commented to me what a good driver she is -- it seems the road sense she learned riding her bike helped. She still prefers riding her bike to high school over driving, which is good because an additional car for her isn't in our family budget.

She didn't get a cell phone until she got to high school, but it was never really a problem. I personally have a problem with people who tell their kids "call me anytime and I'll rescue you." Not that you shouldn't help them if you can, but I think its smarter to teach kids that they can make smart decisions and handle most things themselves.

The only problem my daughter had was that one day when she was in a hurry to get to class she didn't lock her bike and it was stolen. The police found it 15 months later about 5 miles away. Grandma's reaction was to say "oh, I'll buy her a new one." but we made our daughter buy herself a new bike. (Just like we made her pay for her $44 parking ticket the rainy day she drove to school and blocked (by a foot) someone's driveway.) Our objective to to raise a person who is responsibile for her own actions.

My daughers middle school gave them an ID. I thought you had to be 16 before getting an ID through the DMV, but I may be wrong. YOu could always make your own card with his picture and address on it (and lamenate it at Kinkos if you want to be fancy.)

Things I would do to get prepared for it are:

Get him a cellphone (to use in emergencies). I have my daughter call to signal she got to her destination.

See if you can find another child he can "pickup" along the way that can ride with him . There is safety in numbers.

Check the different routes he could take against online sex offender addresses.

Make sure he stays on the same agreed upon routes, so if you ever need to locate him you know where to locate him at. Pick routes that are populated - have him stay away from shortcuts in alleys, along hiking trails, or behind buildings.

Get him a self defense class (not karate, classes that teach kids how typical abductors operate and how to get away from them). Talk about possible real life situations and ask him what he would do. Coach him (read up on it yourself). A possible tool he could carry is pepper spray.

Finally a rule I would implement is no ear phones in - you need to be able to hear what's going on around you if a car pulls up behind you.

Greetings A.: I have pondered this question all afternoon and wanted to give you my insights from my own experiances.
I have 5 children- each has a different personality and creative way of doing things.
My 2 oldest boys were the type that would leave me a note and take off in the early morning and go ride bikes for hours-- it made me crazy--( the revenge is they are both parents now- so I will seewhat they do).
They started this about age 9. My daughters were more the lets get some mom to take us or go walking with friends to places that also made me crazy. My youngest has a learning disability and has never desired to be adventureous until this year and he will get on a bus or bart and figure out how to get places and call me if he gets lost or ends up someplace strange.He is over 18. My point is this: 1. you set the values and rules and your child will learn to follow what you teach in all situations (they are good at modifying it) so take him, teach him, just what you expect esp in this day and age when your precious child could be harmed by someone. Your childs world is not as safe as when mine were young which is why so many parents drive them to school. I believe that you want to get him a buddy if it is possible and that may take going by car and observing who else is on a bike going your way. So age really doesn't have as much to do with it as when your child is ready and wants to try. I like to think in terms of when my children were first learning to stand up and walk-- they moved forward while I sttod close by and when they fell down on their well padded seats I helped them to get back up and take a few more steps smile every first is the same way. I rea;;y appreciate that you are so concerned and thinking of all the things you mentioned. Take care and enjoy the roller coaster ride of parenthood there is nothing like it. Nana G

There is no leagl age when they can ride or even be home by themselves. As long as you feel they are responsible and mature enough to do it, then it is ok. There are many elementary kids in our neighborhood that ride scooters and bikes to and from school. My neighbor had her 3rd grader ride. I was taking him to and from school, but he wanted to ride, so she has him call her as soon as he gets home to let her know he was home and if he doesn't, he is back in the car with me. I think you have everything down as far as making sure he is taken care of. I hear Tracfones are great and he can always call you to let you know that he made it to school.
My son started riding his bike to school in 5th grade, and he was to come straight home and check in before anything else. This is the age when they need to become a little more independent and responsible. Good luck!

As hard as it is, just breath mom! He'll do the right thing. To and from school is a great way to start becoming more independant and responsible. I agree with Minta L, a pre-paid cell phone for emergency use only could be a good thing. They do have phones that only allow for a few phone numbers ie home, mom, dad and 911. As for the picture ID take him to the DMV and get him a State ID Card. He'll then be in the DMV system complete with fingerprints, photo and description if anything were to hapen to him. Just remember to take him in at least evary other year to have the photo updated.

Dear A.,
I think 11 is a perfect time to let your son start having some independence.
I started my son out a little earlier than that, but with walking to and from school with his little buddy that lived around the corner. Either the other mom or I would give them a head start and then follow along after them to make sure they went the route we insisted on and were stopping at crosswalks, looking both ways, etc. After we felt confident with that, we let them walk alone. We started letting them ride their bikes, but I walked with them on evenings and weekends first, to give them the rules and bike safety tips, etc. I made them get off their bikes and push them when they had to cross the street to avoid any danger of falling in a crosswalk and not being visible. Then, just the same as when we let them try walking by themselves, we'd give them a head start and the other mom or I would follow behind just to make sure they didn't goof off or forget the rules. They did great!
Although, I have to say, one morning, my son's friend had an appointment and wasn't riding that day so I gave my son a head start. I got up around the corner and my son was on the opposite side of the street, which he NEVER did, so I made a U-turn and pulled up to ask him what the heck he was doing. (His homework had fallen out the pocket of his sweatshirt). Anyway, people came out of the house and wanted to know what I was doing bothering the kid. They didn't realize I was his mother, which actually made me feel even safer about letting him ride his bike because they had seen him going by every morning and they'd seen my car a thousand times but didn't know if I was a weirdo or what.
Sure enough, his homework was on the sidewalk at the corner. So, we didn't put things in his sweatshirt pockets anymore. That's the only day we ever had a problem, if you can call it that. I let my son ride to friends' houses and call me to check in that he'd arrived and then call me again when he was on his way home. I told my son if I ever had to go looking for him because he was goofing off, he'd lose his bike. He never let me down. If he had friends that wanted to play after school or something, he knew he had to come home first. I had walked with him too many times....I knew exactly how long it would take him to get home from every place I allowed him to go.
I got my son a Tracphone so he could call me in case of emergency, but he rarely used it for anything other than to say he was on his way or to ask if I wanted a gallon or half a gallon of milk from the store.
His school provided student I.D.'s with their school photo on it. All the schools here do.
Believe me, I know it's a scary world, but I think we have to let our kids gain the confidence to navigate in it. I bet your son will be just fine. Just make sure the rules are very, very clear. And, he must wear a helmet at all times.

Very best of wishes!

My son started to ride his bike to/from school when he was in 4th grade (9 yo). It was scary, but I think it has made him a much more confident, responsible boy.

I do not beleive there is a legal age for bike riding alone. There are guidelines for being home alone and for supervising a younger child. As far as I know, there are no laws...you just have to stay out of the area of endangering your child and I don't think riding his bike would qualify.

The thing that you need to impress upon your shild is that most of the time he should think and act as if he is invisible to everyone in a vehicle. People have gotten better about watching for children on bicycles, but everyone is always in such a hurry. He needs to watch the cars around him and be especially careful at driveways to retail stores. Look up and go over the local bicycle laws with your son and make sure he knows the hand signals. Most city bike laws prohibit riding on the sidewalk, but my children always ride on the sidewalk except when we are out on family rides...dad in front, leading and me in back, watching and coaching. Ride with him a few times and make sure he is paying attention and being safe. Impress on him the importance of a helmet and that he can get ticketed and you will be fined if he is not wearing it. At this age, it is "not cool" to wear a helmet, so go over this A LOT! I think having him memorize #s, keep track of time and carry a little money are all good ideas. Most Jr. High/Middle School's issue students a picture ID within the first week or so of school. Check with his school. However, if the school doesn't do ID cards or you are worried, you could make an ID of sorts on your computer and laminate it in a luggage self-stick laminator pocket. Another option is paying the DMV $25 for a photo ID, which would be kind of a waste since they change SO much in 6-9th grades.

If you are so worried, get him one of those prepaid cell phones that will only dial out to numbers you program in. Your number, home, dad's number, dad's work, grandparents and/or a neighbor, so that if he gets lost or feels scared he can call. I would also get out a city map and show him all the ways he can get to school/home, but have him use the safest, most direct route. It is scary, but you are really doing him a great service by allowing him to test his wings and become responsible. I woul also have him begin doing chores for you, if he's not already. Being responsible means more than just riding into the sunset on his bike. Email me if you want to chat more. Try not to worry too much and think of the time you will have to do something else now that you don't have to drive him to school. Take Care!

You've gotten some great advice so far. They do need to get some freesom at this age and you have some wonderful ideas. My 12 year old had a problem keeping his helmut on. He was very logical in his reasoning - "when I'm 18 I don't have to wear it" LOL. Anyway someone told me that the tickets were $ 75.00. The police couldn't tell me the amount. My friend was at court after a kid who had to pay the fine.
I warned my son that if anyone saw him without his helmut on his head I would charge him the $ the police ticket would be and if the police cited him first he had to pay the $. Well, he came riding down our street with no helmut and had to pay me $ 75.00 from his lawn mowing $ and allowance. He wears a helmut now.

I was riding my bike freely by then, though I had 'boundaries'. I could only ride within them, until I was about 12, then I had full freedom. My mother just made sure that I was aware of all dangers, and that she felt that I was responsible enough to handle myself.

We didn't have cell phones, and I rarely had change for the pay phone. I was in my boundaries, so if there was a problem she could find me. (there never was) I also knew everyone's number long before I was 11. It seems like a lot of people baby their kids nowadays. Mine's only 14 months, so I don't know.

All of this was about 12 years ago, I'm 23 now.
Just be sure he knows the rules, and that he's responsible enough to handle them.

Hello,

I have two thoughts:

First of all, remind you son that HE needs to be aware of cars, rather than assuming that a driver will be aware of him. It only takes a second of someone adjusting their car radio or texting(!) for them to drift into the bicycle lane. Make sure your son understands that he needs to be aware of traffic to be safe.

Second, get him a cell phone just for this purpose. You can get a Tracfone for something like $10 and get him 30 minutes of time on it so that in the event of an emergency, or if he just feels uncomfortable about some situation, he knows he can contact you.

Good luck!

It sounds like you have a responsible young man who can be trusted. I have a couple of suggestions as you continue to give him more freedom and responsibility in this. First, go to your local police department and pick up a brochure on safe and legal bike riding. A lot of people have no idea that bike travel is covered in the DMV code and there are proper ways to ride a bike on the street. This will also give you information regarding how old he can be and still legally ride on the sidewalk. I don't remember the rules in that regard, but it seems he's near the age where he needs to ride on the street.

Second, set your own expectations and a consequence if he decides not to meet those expectations. When our son was that age, we had taught him the rules of the road and given him our expectations, with his consequence being to lose bike priveledges for a month if he decided not to follow the rules. It took one time to lose that bike for a month, and we never had to worry about him out on the bike again, because he learned fast!

Hi A.,

It sounds like you are doing a great job preparing him for responsibility :o) And, it sounds like he's ready for the "next step" in his life.....using that responsibility.

Try to let go.....many parents have to do it, and this is the year that we begin to "try" to let them spread their wings.

I would go down to your cell phone carrier and get him a free cell phone for signing up with a "Family Plan". All carriers have offers like that. Your son will be alone at small intervals of time, and you need to know that YOU are on speed-dial if he needs you. I went down and got my 12 yr old son a phone yesterday for these exact same reasons. He is also entering into Middle School.

To worry, is a very natural thing for a loving mother to do, so I am not going to tell you to stop worrying :O) But, take a few deep breaths about it. Your son already went to Summer School and proved he could be responsible and handle the "trip". He will be just fine when school starts.......you know that :O)

Our boys will eventually become men, A., and Middle School is the first step towards it :O) My son reached puberty a little early, so he LOOKS like a man :o( He's not a young boy anymore, but his heart is just as sweet as it was without all the HAIR! :O)

As far as the photo ID, some Middle Schools give their student's one for Dances, etc.... or the Police Dept does Child Safety Cards if you give them a call.

Your son will be fine. It is a big step for a family, but try to relax about it.

~N. :o)

It sounds as if your son is doing a good job of growing up to be a responsible adult. Let him. He has proven he can get to and from school safely, now is your turn to trust him and give him some freedom. As for safety, it would be best if he has a friend who could ride with him, but sometimes boys are less likey to get in trouble if they are by themselves. It may be time to allow your son to carry a cell phone, that way if he isn't going to be where he needs to be at the right time, he can contact you. As for your worries, I won't tell you not to worry, because you are a mom and that is part of your job. All I can say is to trust your son as long as he shows he is trustworthy and pray while he is out on his own.

I think you should allow your child to ride his bike. He has shown that he is responsible and can be trusted by riding to and from summer school. I personally have never heard of a law that a child has to be 13 before being out without a parent, but that doesn't mean that the law doesn't exist. I wouldn't worry about that though; there are a lot of children under 13 who are out in public without parents - my grandson rode a public bus to elementary school by himself when he was 10! I think you have good rules in place, i.e., memorizing the phone numbers, etc. but the one I would be careful about is the $5. If other children know he's carrying money, he could find himself a victim. As for the photo ID, my grand kids schools (elementary) provide school identification cards with their pictures. My granddaughter has had one since kindergarten!