Leaving the Baby with Grandparents - Weaning to Cup?

Hi A.,
Good luck with weaning to a cup. Lots of helpful tips so far. My feelings are a bit different on this one.
I was actually thinking- is there any way the grandparents could tag along for the trip? If you could afford it, they could stay in an adjacent hotel room. You would still be able to nurse your baby at night and they would be your daytime daycare. I know babies cope when parents go away and yours will too. But this is not a vacation for you anyway so I would consider finding a way to not be separated if it's at all possible. It will be almost a full week, and sometimes moms and babies aren't ready for that long of a separation just yet. Don't feel that you have to unless it's really your only option or you want or need the break. Your post sounded to me that maybe it's not the right time just yet. You and the baby will be missing each other and you will probably need to pump to keep the milk up and stay comfortable. Good luck.

Leaving her with your parents may be similar, for her, to daycare and therefore the bottle may not be an issue. I have a 9 month old who has been using a sippy (for juice) for a while now, she loves it. The one that I would recommend is by Nubi (at Target and BRU). It has a nipple like feel and although it is designed to be spill proof it doesn't take a vacuum suction to get the liquid out (like some others). Playing with (or chewing on) the sippy is a part of getting used to it, the more often you offer it - with milk or juice - she will become more familiar with it and how it works.

I understand the stress of leaving for the first time, my husband and I will be leaving on a trip soon leaving our daughter with my parents as well. I've never been so worried and stressed.

I wouldn't feel like you have to ween your daughter from the bottle, but introducing the sippy as another alternative gives your parents more options. I'm sure the first day will be tough for your parents and your daughter adjusts to not breastfeeding but babies adapt very quickly and she won't go hungry.

Best of luck! And enjoy the time away with your husband knowing that your daughter is with loving grandparents.

I haven't been through weaning yet, but I suspect it would be easier for the child of you did it yourself. You have a month before you leave, correct? I'd start getting your baby used to having bottles at home as well as at daycare, that way the transition to grandparent care isn't awful. If possible, it would also be good to have the grandparents come over and participate in some of the nighttime rituals while you're still there, so baby gets used to them being there. Hope that helps!

Hi A.,
I went through a similiar situation when I was returning to work after my first baby. She only wanted to be breastfed and did not want to take a bottle or cup. I was completely stressed out. Turns out that when she realized I was not there and would not be back in a half hour she gave up and drank from the bottle. The first day she was the hardest but after that we both adjusted just fine. Don't stress yourself, you have enough to worry about. She will be absolutely fine, she takes the bottle at day care because she knows the day care provider can not breastfeed her and she knows the same is true for gramma and grandpa.
Good Luck and have a great trip,
S.

This is a tuff spot. I have never left my 2 yr.old. The olny cup we found that she liked were the Avent bottle. The don't leack and the soft tip. I would start the transition know. Also maybe start with school. Then start with one of the feedings in the home. good luck.

Hi A.,
When my son was one year old my husband and I went away on a trip. I breastfed until he was 10 months old and then weaned him to formula in a bottle in order to prepare him for my not being there. He was ready to wean and we were already supplementing with formula during the day, so it wasn't too bad of a transition.

As far as sippy cups go, someone once told me, once the baby can hold a cup, get rid of the bottle! I think we used bottles until he was one and we switched to cow's milk. But we would give him juice and water in sippy cups to get him started. It's all about what works for you.

By the way, our son did just fine at my in-laws house while we were away. I'm sure he missed us, but they said he had lots of fun and they enjoyed the time spent with him too. So enjoy your trip and some one on one time with your husband!

Good luck!
D.

Hi A.. I would go straight to the sippy cup. They recomend that babies be taking all fluid from a cup by 14 months. Don't worry about going away she will be fine even if she doesnt want the bottle or cup at first she'll take it from your parents. I would recomend staying away from the nubby rubber vavle cups they are very messy and leak easy. I like the dr. browns sippy cups and I also like the gerber sippy cups with the soft top but the plug that goes in so they don't leak. With the Dr. brown's they don't require a lot of sucking tipping the cup allows air in and fluid out just like if you drink out of a cup. Also some babies like to drink out of straws I have friends that had their kids drinking from straws at 6 months old. When I switched to cups with both kids I put water in the bottle and only put milk into a sippy cup most will choose the milk over the bottle full of water. Good luck.

Hi A.,

we switched my daughter to a cup when she was nine months. Most pediatricians and dentists suggest having them off the bottle by a year of age, so its great that your daughter doesn't like bottles.

Mine liked the nubby cups best. They have a soft silicone spout (its pretty close to a nipple actually) that's easy to suck from. And they are cheap and bpa free. Now she is 13 months and likes the nubby cups with the straw. At 10.5 months she couldn't figure out how to suck out a straw but once they figure it out they love it.

good luck

E.

To start with, you are not crazy to leave your baby, but your anxiety is normal. You trust your parents as caregivers and your daycare provider is what your daughter is used to. She will be fine even if she doesn't take a single bottle or cup from your parents. If she wants to "go on strike" about it, she will, but she won't starve; she may just make up for it during the days at daycare, or have one week of slightly less calories. At 11.5 months, she's not getting all her calories from milk as she's eating LOTS of regular foods. She'll be fine, really.

Secondly, I'm not sure why she is still getting a feeding in the middle of the night. By 10.5 mo and certainly by 11.5 months, she can get all of her necessary calories during the day. It might be a habit. I wouldn't worry about it, but your parents may be able to help you transition to no "middle of the night" feedings. I'm not suggesting by any means that they should refuse a hungry baby in the middle of the night, but they might be able to go in to her if she cries and try to console her without a bottle. The benefit for you might be that she drops that feeding upon your return.

Lastly, sippy cups are sort of personal. My two kids liked different ones. They had a tougher time sucking from the ones with the valves, so we didn't use the valves and had some drips. I started at six months with water in a sippy cup at meals. I didn't put milk in it until after 12mo dr appt and drs said it was ok (there's some iron test I think they want to check first before introducing cow's milk) I do have friends who got their kids into straw cups early on with much success. My 28 mo old still can't consistently get the straw cup to work, but he will someday.

I left my breastfed son for Thurs-Sun at my inlaws at 10.5 months. I had partially weaned (mainly because I didn't want to spend the entire time away pumping) and to help with the bottles. He did great. You could wean partially and have your husband give a bottle if you wanted to?

Good luck. Reassure yourself with thoughts that she's going to be okay...she couldn't be with better people (your parents)...she's healthy and happy. They adapt more easily than we give them credit for sometimes and can be surprisingly resilient.

SAHM of two, ages 5 and 28 mo

you are not crazy this will be a good break even though it is work. my paretns jsut took care of our four kids for 5 days and i went on a business trip with my husband and they did fine. what i could suggest is that maybe your parents come down for a day and and have them give her the cup or bottle.so your fears may be relieved in leaving her. she will be fine. write a complete schedule for your parents.
she may prefer breast feeding when you are around the fact she takes a bottle at day care is good. does she sip through a straw yet? they have throw away cup from 1st years i've used with my youngest. I've tried advent sippy cup with the valve playtex cups they all eventually learn it just takes practice. every kid is different just continue to introduce a meal she is not very tired. good luck and enjoy time with your husband. mother of 13 11 8 and 18mths K. d

Hi! Don't worry, your trip will be over before you know it! And your daughter WONT starve herself if you're not there. The fact that she takes a bottle at daycare means that when she's hungry enough, she'll eat...sometimes breastfed babies will take a bottle whenever mom's not there. Maybe try to leave her with your parents beforehand to see if she'll eat?

What do they do at daycare to make her take a bottle? Could you start now with the bottle? My daughter drinks from a sippy cup but also takes a bottle.

It seems to me that having your parents introduce the sippy is a great idea. Kids often seem to take to new things with caretakers other than mom. But it's a lot of pressure on you to feel like she HAS to do it while you're gone. It might make you feel less stressed about it if you just have her keep up with the bottles. You said she takes bottles at daycare already, so it's not something completely new for her. Why not just have her keep up the bottles with your parents? Good luck!

My first reaction is don't go to a sippy for her milk now. If she is on a bottle, even if she is fussy about taking it when not at daycare, then your parents should still do that. Have you ever tried a sippy cup? If not then do try it just so you know that even when it looks like they are drinking a ton, they are really working hard to get very little. They are impossible to get anything out of. I doubt your daughter could ever get more than an ounce or two out of it even if she was trying hard. Since you are going to be gone for so long, it is best to leave her with a way of getting milk that she is used to, even if it is not a preference. It is so hard to make these transitions, but babies make the change quickly when they have to. If you are trying the bottle at home, definitely do it when you are not around, that makes a big difference. Also, as a last piece of advice, if you are breastfeeding and want to use this as the time to wean, then start cutting back now. If you don't want to then obviously odn't forget your pump. I nursed for 13 months and 17 months with my two girls. It was great, but weaning at 13 months was a lot easier than it was at 17 months. This is a whole different topic than what you wrote about, so forgive me if I am going to far. I just know that, as a nursing mother, that was always the biggest issue when I was going to be away at all. Best of luck, and please do enjoy the time away with your husband, even if it is for work :)

First of all you aren't crazy for leaving your daughter. I am sure she will be just fine...and loved (maybe even spoiled to bits?). I too left my son at 10 months who refused to take a bottle (I unexpectedly had to leave him since my dying friend came down with shingles and I could not bring him along).

He did fine. He did not drink much milk (it sounds like your daughter will have plenty at day care) but ate his food. They increased yogurts and such for calcium and he was thrilled to have me back when I got back and resumed the breastfeeding with no problems.

About the middle of the night feeding...does she really need that? I stopped nursing my kids in the middle of the night around 6 months old. You might want to try and get rid that one before you leave. That will probably make it much easier for your parents...and daughter.

Good luck...and stop stressing!!

H. Z. (SAHM to 5, 4, 16 month old boys)