Kids Birhday Parties- Love Them or Hate Them?

Updated on July 07, 2011
J.X. asks from San Clemente, CA
26 answers

I dislike them. Mostly because it seems we are invited to so many and it feels excessive. Some weekends its two at a time! Some people through them yearly for each child! . Its just over the top to me. I have avoided throwing anything but a family party unil now. I figure you have to do it evey now and again, so my second baby is getting her one year party tangent with my three year old (Its acctually her half birthday since her Dec. birthday was cancelled due to unforseen circumstances, and she asked about it for months, so I feel it needs to happen.) So I'm doing it. I acctually feel guilty for inviting anyone since I hate all the birthday invites myself. I'm just curious, am I the only one who wishes kids birthday parties were few and far between? We get invited to about 8-10 a year and we attend about 4 or 5 a year.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

I don't mind throwing the party. Some can be small and some big. I just don't like attending them often, so we often decline and it makes me feel guilty. So thats the guilt I feel, sending out invites and wondering how many parent like me roll their eyes and say "ohh, another birthday to squeeze in". Of course my daughter loves them, they are play dates with cake to her and I usually enjoy them when I'm there. I'd throw one every year if I didn't think most people find it irritating to show up to. I think the key is, just invite parents with kids. I cannot imagine my childless friends give a darn.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I love birthday parties! I love throwing them and I love when my kids go to them. They always have so much fun playing with their friends outside of class and I have such a blast planning their parties. They will be a memory that I will cherish forever as will they.

Now MY rant...I really hate when people get on birthday parties like they are SO superior because they don't throw them for their kids. They look down on those who do as excessive spoiling parents-very judgementa if you ask me. I actually just read an article in today's paper about this-how when the author was a kid nobody had them and kids today are so spoiled because they do. Whatever...I know I would have LOVED a party every year and to get to go to all the fun places that my kids do. And I bet HER parents had many things to comment on about kids of her age and the excesses done for them and so on and so on and so on. It how it works....times change as do the customs that define them.
At the end of the day its a KIDS BIRTHDAY PARTY!!! Its supposed to be fun not the subject of such serious debate. If you don't wish to throw them fine-but do not look down on those of us who do.

7 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

No, I always view it as free entertainment for my kids! :P (well, notwithstanding the gift we bring)

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.L.

answers from Detroit on

I had my son's party at a bouncy place a few weeks ago. The kids had a blast and so did the adults. In fact, the adults enjoyed the bouncy things more than the kids. I don't mind doing a party as long as it's not at my house. I don't like entertaining and cleaning up after kids.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't understand your position. I like them. I think they are fun and its a great way to celebrate someone elses' kid! We do family parties as well and a birthday party for each child in our family every year. Birthdays should be celebrated--whats better than a birthday party!!!

M

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Birthday parties are few and far between. They are 365 days apart 3 out of 4 years. ;~))

I had 8 kids and we had birthday parties for each one every year until they turned 13 or 14. They my wife would tell them, "It's going to cost about $35 to have a birthday party and invite your friends. Do you want the $35 or a party?" Sometimes they chose the money, sometimes the party.

I bought most of my kids party gifts in the week between Christmas and New Years. That made it much less expensive and much less trouble.

I love the joy my kids get with a birthday party and blowing out the candles. Whether they chose the money or the party, we always had a cake and gifts as a family. April and May were really busy. We had four birthdays from the 9th of April to the 19th of May.

Good luck to you and yours.

4 moms found this helpful

H.G.

answers from Dallas on

Im complete opposite! I love bday parties and bdays no matter how old. It just comes once a year and to me having another year under your belt is worth celebrating! You don't have to like it or go by any means, but we would be there with bells on!

3 moms found this helpful

L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm not a huge lover of kid bday parties, but I do enjoy going to the ones of close family friends. Strangers from school, not so much. But we have an only child and do throw one each year for our daughter. If that's too much for some people, I really don't care. They can just say no. I'm not going to stop throwing a party for my child because someone else doesn't do one every year for theirs.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm not crazy about them but have come to a truce with the whole notion ;-) (DH jokes that I have issues b/c I only had one birthday party ever during my entire childhood LOL). And it helped that I discovered that my kids and most of their friends were actually quite content to have a simple do-crafts-and-play-games-in-the-backyard deal even when a large percentage of folks opt to have their kids' parties at Pump It Up or similar party venue. I've posted some of my musings at our multiples club's blog:
http://twinsbythebay.blogspot.com/2009/10/surviving-twin-...
http://twinsbythebay.blogspot.com/2009/12/surviving-twin-...

2 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I love throwing birthday parties (at home, couple of hours, no more than 10 to 12 kids) for kids who are old enough to attend alone. I'm not interested in entertaining my kids' friends' parents and sibs.
Over the top parties for preschoolers in loud, smelly places with nasty food and junky goody bags? HATE those :(
To each his own I guess!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.T.

answers from New York on

Mostly love them! As someone said, free entertainment for my kids, they love to see their friends etc and I sometimes enjoy talkign to the other parents. Now that they're getting older, drop off parties means "me" time. 8 a year isn't even 1 a month which doesn't seem excessive... Where we live, most people have a party each year for their child. My kids start talking about their own parties months and months in advance and love to look at the pictures years later. We didn't start until they were 3 or 4 though bc before that I think it's just for the adults as the child is clueless. I also throw them annually in reciprocity for the parties we attend. I've actually dropped some kids from our list who never have parties bc I figure if their mom is not willing to put in the cost and effort herself, I'd like to keep the number of kids we invite down so they're easy to take off the list (if they're not a super close friend of my child's)

2 moms found this helpful

C.S.

answers from Kansas City on

I don't mind birthday parties. My only peeve is if things don't start on time. We went to a party that was supposed to start at 12pm, but when we arrived they didn't have things set up and had to go to the store for things. On top of that, only my kids and one other child arrived at 12pm all the other guests arrived after 2pm, I suppose those guests knew the hosts weren't organized. Lol.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.T.

answers from Detroit on

My take is keep it as low profile for as long as possible! I have twin 3 1/2 year old boys and we have only had family parties (and we have a very SMALL family!). We have been to other parties where have been petting farms, bounce houses, pinata's, characters dressed up and dancing (all at one party) and my boy's reaction was all I needed to know that this was not for us. To overwhelming! Even though our parties are small, I still slip birthday gifts away and put them in the Christmas box!! They get so much as it is, and they require so little, they just like being around the people they love!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I gave my daughter a party every year for her birthday, but I kept them simple. I didn't put out a big spread of food - just cake and ice cream. I didn't do goody bags.
The only time I ever did a venue party was one year when she wasnted a party at a local amusement park. Other than that, it was at our house, the kids ate cake and ice cream,played games, she opened presents, and everyone went home.
I don't get the big expensive parties every year with indoor playgrounds, roller rinks, inflatables, and all that.

1 mom found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I dislike when they are excessive, but we only go to the ones we can, I don't feel bad if we can't make it. My kids do get a party EVERY year. They are only little for so long and then when they are grown other things will be more important than parties for them...like parties for their kids. So we will continue to do the parties they want and whoever comes comes, and whoever can't make it can't make it. No big :).

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.F.

answers from Reno on

I'm with you. The "biggest" party I threw for my kids was my first son's 1st birthday and it was a zoo. (My second son didn't get a 1st birthday party since he was very ill, nearly hospitalized...sad, but true.)

I'm a big fan of family only parties or small gatherings at our local pizza parlor. I rarely have more than 7 kids and a few adults. In my family, birthdays are about extra special family time. If I want to do a "big" event, I usually save some money and the family takes a vacation, like Disneyland.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.S.

answers from Harrisburg on

I don't do parties anymore. Its such a money hole.

We just have a nice meal (Picked by the birthday person) they can chose a favorite meal to make or a place to go. Then I invite family and as the kids get older I'll let them bring a friend or two along. Then they also get a few gifts and thats it.

I got tired of having parties and noone RSVPing or people just being rude in general after I forked out $300+ for.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.R.

answers from Milwaukee on

I feel the same way.

C.W.

answers from Las Vegas on

I love birthday parties and am a holiday-holic. Mostly because my parents hated birthday parties and holidays so I guess I was always craving having those parties and gatherings. I laughed (not in a mean way) when you said some people throw them each year for each child... why wouldn't you treat each child as an individual? Seems strange if my parents threw a party for me and my brother in March or June since both our birthdays are far apart.

I love celebrating a child's birth day and if I had 6 kids, I'd celebrate each one of them each year b/c they are individuals and as they get older have different friends.
The parents you invite should care about your child or that their child has a friendship with yours, not many will roll their eyes.
My childless friends care, but it's because they care about my daughter and want to be there. I don't know, just seems kinda selfish to not throw a party because you (general you) don't want to "cater" the other moms even if your child is celebrating a special day and getting to have fun with friends (or vice versa at others' parties, that is free entertainment besides the gift).
I agree with another mom they are few and far between, 3/4 of the time they are 365 days apart.
You only go to 4 or 5 a year, doesn't seem like THAT much. Would you rather be socially isolated? Seems the better option of 2 evils, at least your liked on some level by others.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hate them. Why people have to have them at loud awful places with horrid food is beyond me. Would ANYONE actually go to Chuck E Cheese or bounce places if there were no birthday parties? Would anyone actually eat that food?

Last year (age 4-1/2) was the first time my son had a birthday party. It was the first time he asked for one. Fifteen of the 18 kids in his preschool class have birthdays between September and November (really) so we attended a mind numbing number of parties last fall. Happily the protocol seems to be all the kids are invited.

That said we are having my son's 5-1/2 bday party (we don't do a 'friends' party at his birthday since it is 12/25 and we are always away) this weekend. We are doing a pool party at his house. It's really the same pool party we did every summer prior to having kids EXCEPT we also offer milk, smaller size burgers, birthday cake and there are noodles and balls in the pool.

The rest of the menu (including the margaritas) is the same.

B.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

They can be a bit overdone, but a child's first birthday is really for the parents. New clothes, maybe a bigger car seat, toys... Kind of like a second shower, but for an older kid! They can be annoying, but I plan on having my baby's first birthday party then seeing what happens. Until they are 3 or so, they won't remember anyways. Like I said, all for the parents =)

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

My kids are 11 and 8. Until just this last bday for each of them, we only had "family" parties. We NEVER invited other kids. But now that they are older they asked if they could have a "party". I too am not thrilled with parties. So we told them they could invite 3 friends to whatever activity they wanted (bowling, movie, lazer tag, etc). This actually worked really well and they each had fun at their "party". They also take cupcakes/cookies on their actual bday to school to share with their friends so we have always told them that is their "party" with their school friends. They never questioned that or had a problem with it. This last year was the first time too that we actually let them go to another kids bday party. My son (8 yo) went to a sleepover at a classmates and it didn't go so well so he won't sleep over again for another few years. My daughter has been to 2 or 3 and did well so we will allow her to go to more this school year assuming it works with our schedule. I have never been a big fan of huge bday parties for kids and especially now with everyone doing gift bags I think is ridiculous.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Love attending, hate giving. Opportunities to hang out and eat are great. If other parties are lavish I enjoy but won't be competing thank ya very much. If it weren't for people avoiding/ignoring/forgetting RSVPs giving parties would be enjoyable too.

K.L.

answers from Redding on

It doesnt seem too hard to go to a few parties a year. The kids have fun and I like getting to talk with other adults. I had parties for or kids when they were little and loved it. We had a rule tho, you get a few friends and family the first 2 or 3. After that you get as many guests as you are years old. Up until you turn 10 and thats as big as it gets. After that you get to invite your best friend and we go to dinner and a movie or something like mini golf or a sleep over. What makes it so hard for a lot of parents is the-over-the-top-have-to-outdo-everyone-else-in-town-go-into-debt-parties that kids dont need. They are happy with friends over, a few silly games, cake and ice cream and gifts.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I don't mind them. My daughter is 9 and pretty soon will be past the birthday party throwing stage. And, since she's been old enough to do "drop off" parties, it's just a fun thing for her to do for a few hours. I'm glad that she has friends who invite her to their birthday parties.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Daytona Beach on

growing up we only did family birthday parties. that's what we did with our kids, too. i think my daughter went to one non family b-day party. my daughter had a party up thru 4yo and then we stopped giving her one. my son was 2? i think. we allow them to pick what they want to do for the day, get them a present and also let them pick if they want a homemade cake or store bought. i think parties are a little exessive. i met a mother whose daughter had a 1st party and then one when she turned 7. she said she'd do one at 10? and 16 and that's it. i thought that was a good idea.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

People get totally out of control. We have the old fashioned birthday parties. We have them in our house. No more then 8 kids. Just regular birthday games. The fanciest part of the party is the bakery made cake.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions