Is This Wrong?

Hi M.,

Its never to early to learn a valuable lesson!! If she is doing it, she must understand! I think it is GREAT!!

But this is coming from a mother of a 2 1/2 year old who would ask for a snack and then as soon as I would open it and give it to him he would say I don't want that or I dont like that...So I explained that this stuff costs money and the next time he was going to pay for it...so the next time, we marched upstairs and took money out of his bank...He was amazingly really upset at that, and doesnt do it anymore...they have to learn sometime that they can't just waste waste waste, right?

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My son has been the same way but he wants things and also wants to be on his video games all the time ....so for certain chores he can earn real money that he can save for things and then there is suff he has no choice to do and he can earn mommy dollars that are used for time to do things that are fun, like video games and it works great and when he says something bad like the word stupid is considered a a bad word he has to pay me a dollar of his money or 3 mommy dollars. I haven't had a problem with him in a long time....he doesn't like to pay me ....

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I don't think she is too young. This is a great way to teach her responsiblilty and to value her money she earns. I do have another idea for you though if the toys are taking over. If a new one comes in the house then one has to go to another needy child. She can pick what goes and even go with you to drop it off at your donation site (maybe a women's shelter, WIC office, or non-profit for children and families). This will also teach her the meaning of giving. Keep up your great work!

1 mom found this helpful

She definitely sounds old enough to start with the "allowance" you came up with. Its a great opportunity to teach the value of money and making choices about what you want/need. One suggestion though (that I have seen in articles I have read about allowances) is not to make every household task that your daughter does a pay-for-services deal. It is important for children to know that doing chores and helping out are all part of being a family. You don't want to hear "what's in it for me" every time you ask a child to do something;)

E.

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Heavens no, she's not too young. I think that's a great idea. My son's preschool spent two weeks with part of their day playing "store" and buying items with play money. I think there should be little jobs she is expected to do without compensation, but do extra ones for money. Kudos to you!
J.

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Sounds good to me, you are teaching her the value of money. I think you are doing a good job!

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i also have a 4 yr old and even though i can see where you think she picked up the habit of wanting everything, but my daughter also wants EVERYTHING she sees on tv. this has recently gotten worse lately. my response is (just like my momma) "you dont get everything you see or want" so we will see.

sometimes she gets dollar bills and so we go to the dollar store and she can pick i item for each dollar.. she had fun, and she had to make choices, so it was a good trip.

good luck.

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hey M.
teaching your kid about allowance is a great thing, but i want to talk to you about something else. i don't think too many people know about this, but it is something that parents should learn about to promote healthy emotional behavoir. it sounds like your little girl is learning love through gifts. it is not necessarily a bad thing, but it will be a harder love language to speak when she is older and in a relationship. this is the book: The Five Love Languages How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman. the book is mostly about how to communicate with your mate, but there is a section in the back about learning your child's love language. check it out; it really is good to know about this for your kid and to teach her love in other ways. you don't want to waste money on toys and you don't want her to feel unloved. talk to me if any of this isn't making sense or want more info.

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I think that is a greta idea too. my almost 3 year old thinks money grows on trees or that we just have alot but she will just waste all the time. it doesn't help everytime my mom goes shopping she buys her something usually both clothes and a toy. I think your doing a great job and i just wish to have the same luck with my kids.

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Since I'm doing the same thing with my 4 year old son, I think it is wonderful. My son is just like your daughter. He is saving his money for a Disney Vacation. Recently a friend in his class was told she has cancer. All the Mom's got some money together to get her a bear. I asked my son if he wanted to give some money. He went to his bank and pulled out a hand full of ones and asked if this was enought. I think giving a $ reward is fine. If you think about, our husbands go to work and at the end of the week or so they get a paycheck. I feel this is a great way to teach our kids many life skills. Good Job!!

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I agree with all the other moms responding to your request that its a wonderful thing that your starting her this early to earn an allowence. It teaches her responsibility and keeps her humble. I want to start my son on that when he is ready now he just turned 3. But keep up the good work..

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I think it is a great idea for her age. Good for you for teaching your child the value of money. There are far too many kids out there who feel they are entitled to things. She'll be better off for it when she enters the real world of school and work. Good luck!

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Sounds like your right on the money! Keep up the good work. It's never too early. You have to start teaching a child things like this early, they may not comply with you if you tried when they are older. Keep up the homeschooling too, they learn to many bad things in school, and you have no control then. I have my son in cyber school now, he was doing aweful in public school.

M. - picking up her toys is part of her responsibility for having toys and being part of the household. You should pay her for things outside of her household responsibilities. Here's what works with my four, eight, and ten year old. We pay them for work for what we would have paid someone else to do. Something easy for them to so and see the results are cleaning the windows, helping wash the car, clearing up yard work, etc. Another trick that a lot of mothers learn is take the toys she's hasn't played with for a while and hide them, then two weeks later (she's smart though and may eventually catch on), take one out and leave it where she'll spot it. Boy you've never seen a child act like's she's never seen that toy before and play with it until she gets tired again. Just a thought.

I just responded to a new post about their 7-year old buying junky stuff and not spending money wisely. Now is the perfect time to start a chore chart with your daughter. Only one or two would be fine. We have three envelopes in which to put our money (spend, give and save). Check out the detailed response to Claire's posting. If you start your program now, you will likely be doing well by the time she is 7.

L. G

think it is agood idea to teach her to have to save for her own toys so she can understand that it's not as easy as kids think to get toys. The only problem that I find with it is I believe that there are jobs that children should do to help out as part of the family and I think this is one of them I think they should learn that they are expected to pick up after themselves and not expect something in return. What I do with this kind of stuff I have a board that I bought at the store that has a list of daily things like make bed, set table, brush teeth and pick up toys and everytime they do one of them they get to put a magnet on the board so they still get a sense of accomplishment. I would do the quarter a day for things that you want not expect her to do on her own like helping you to wash the car, or helping with laundry or picking up outside and things like that.

M.,
Just wanted to add that now is a good time to teach her that money is for three things: to spend, to give and to save. (My son has the spending and saving down pat, but is still wrestling with the "give" idea!) I have him put change into collection jars, etc whenever we have the opportunity. And I point out that the pennies, etc. he throws into wishing wells and fountains are collected and given to charity. He is my only and often thinks that each day is an opportunity for a new toy!
D.