Is This Typical? (Really Asking, Not Being Sarcastic)

Updated on May 06, 2012
E.M. asks from Phoenix, AZ
45 answers

Moms that have been through the preschool thing, could you check out this list of projects and tell me if this is typical? Honestly, I am pretty tight on time and it seems like a lot to me. I would like to get a sense of where this falls on the spectrum of "normal" requests to parents for this type of thing. My first reaction was that I would be more than happy to do one of the things, but all four seems a bit overwhelming...Thanks!!!

"Next week is national teacher appreciation week. Wouldn't it be lovely to celebrate our teachers and let them know how much they mean to us?
Simple is best, so the room moms have put together a few ideas to help honor our teachers in each of the classrooms in a meaningful way:

Monday: please send one fresh flower with your child to school to give to his/her teacher. All flowers will be arranged in a vase for each teacher to keep at school or take home (if all children bring one flower, can you imagine how beautiful the arrangement will be?).

Tuesday: please help your child create a note or drawing to celebrate their teacher with the heading "I love Miss ___ because...." This can be super creative and fun, so it may take all weekend to create something special. Please bring this Tuesday.

Wednesday: a lunch will be prepared for the teachers in the office. If you'd like to prepare something please email me your ideas:)

Friday: a simple gift card will be given to each teacher from their class. I will leave envelopes in the office to collect contributions. Feel free to contribute whatever amount you desire.

Please reply to me as soon as you are able to let me know you received this and would like to participate."

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So What Happened?

Thanks so much for all the input!! I am new to this whole school thing- I guess it just caught me off guard, especially the taking all weekend on a craft project bit! I agree, it is not really onerous. But I am pretty type A, overachiever, and I will feel bad if my kid is at the bottom of the curve this week on the "participation" scale. It is so nice to hear that this is both typical and I am not a horrid mom for not wanting an extra 4 things on my to do list!! I really appreciate all of the time saving suggestions!!

Featured Answers

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

It's totally normal. We'll send something in or do something for my kid's teachers next week.

My older two got notes home from their teachers on the things they like, which I LOVE because it does make it easier to be creative :). We'll need to look at that this weekend.

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✩.!.

answers from Denver on

I agree with the others below.. it doesn't sound like too much. I think the food one would take the most time, but it states "If you'd like..."

It sounds very thoughtful and I would have my kids do it.

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

This is the basic list we got and my kids are in 3rd and 6th. We bought bouquets on Wed and today the kids wanted to give their teacher a bag of their favorite candy bars. They have been going to the same school for the last 3 years and this is the first year they have been so specific about what we need to do for them. No big deal, I wish we could do a lot more. Good luck.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Actually... I have no idea if it's typical or not... But I think it's a stellar SET of ideas IF they're not all required.

Here's why:

Something for everyone. for those with money, for those without... For those with time and for those without... Something for the kids to do, something for the adults. I think it's a GREAT balance.

The first 2 are free, 2 require time, 2 require money. 2 are kid sourced. 2 are adult sourced.

If all 4 are req'd, that's a different matter... But as providing options for parents who may be short on either money, time, or both... Whoever put it together was INCREDIABLY inclusive. Pick 1-4 things as they fit your family. Kudos to that creative individual or team.

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

As an educator, I loved spontaneous gifts from the heart. I did not like Teacher Appreciation Week and anyone thinking they should organize something on my behalf.

And as a busy Mom (is there any other kind?), I would probably have received the note you have, and thought "Oh, no, 5 more must do's!"

Please do what you and your child would enjoy doing.

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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

Very normal at our schoold - except you don't have to do anything Thursday.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Honestly I think it's a great idea. We;ve done similar in a couple of our preK-elementary schools.

Have your child make the note this weekend. Clip a flower MOnday morning from your's or your neighbor's garden, Send in $2 today, or Monday for the gift card. Send in chips if you don't have time to make a dish, at the same time you can buy a flower from the grocery store.

It's just a nice way of giving the teachers a little something all week.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

I am not getting what is overwhelming and would take up extra time.

You or your husband will be going to the grocery store..

Monday - Flower easy, buy one. Envelope with $5. or $10.

This weekend ~ The project.. doesn't your child already color or glue at least once every other day? Just tell them to draw a picture for teacher. It will give you 5 minutes of quiet.

Tuesday night while you or husband are making dinner, make a fruit salad eat some and the rest take to school.

Or make some salsa, add a bag of chips..

Or at some point from now till Wed, cut up a block of Velvet.keep it in a ziplock in fridge, on wed. Take your crockpot (with a liner) can of rotel, bag of cheese and tortilla chips.. There you go.. something to take to school the next day.

I used to just do things for the teachers on my own in preschool. I wanted to do it. They were caring and teaching one of my most favorite people in the world..

Heck I took them on my own a tray of Bagels, with cream cheese and good coffee every once in a while.

I would purchase a tray of sandwiches and big bag of chips another day.

I was in retail so I would gather tons of samples of all sorts of cosmetics, and other things vendors gave us and take a huge basket of them to the daycare and let them know to help themselves..

Many times on her own our daughter would be drawing or crafting and she would tell me it was for teacher..

It does not have to be a big deal.
And you have a choice. If you and or your husband honestly are so busy, just opt out.

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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Next week is teacher appreciation week at our elementary school. (We also have a child in pre-school) I have never received teacher appreciation week stuff for preschool... This year, the moms emailed each other and decided to do a gift card together and make a book of the kid's drawings and give it to the teacher. This was planned about 2 months ago, and we are all going to give it to the teachers together when we meet at the school for "Mother's Day Tea".

Our Elementary school's week is this(I shortened the descriptions):

Monday: send in a fruit
Tuesday: send a flower
Wednesday: write a thank you note
Thursday: bring in a school supply (tissues, paper clips, glue sticks)
Friday: a treat for a the teacher (cupcake, cookie)

(ALSO, written on the letter is that it is STRICTLY voluntary)

Every year they do this or something similar...

SO, Your list is "normal" according to our ELEMENTARY school.

My opinion? It makes the "gifts" less genuine when you are ASKED to do so and when everyone does the same thing. I like the idea of bringing something that YOU personally want to give the teacher(s)... BUT, I do do the appreciation week thing, anyways. ...and then bring my own gift later, at the end of the school year.

Also, It REALLY isn't TOO much, BTW... A flower doesn't take extra time, just pick one up when you go grocery shopping... A note takes about 5-10 mins. to write... For the gift card, $2-$5 bucks and if you want to make something for the lunch you can. Doesn't sound THAT hard...

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T.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Pretty normal. There's just one PROJECT (the note/picture on Tuesday). Work on it this weekend, it'll be nice. The rest are basically contributions to a larger gift which you can do or NOT do.

Really, 1 flower, food if you WANT to contribute, and cash if you WANT to contribute. That doesn't seem like a lot.

If you want to do less, do the card for Tuesday since that's the only thing that will actually be just from YOUR child, and then choose whether or not to contribute to the group gift card or lunch. (the flower really seems to easy to skip).

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

It is very typical. We have this same list but it is always optional. I let my kids do whatever they are comfortable with. They prefer to just get her a meaningful gift if they really like the teacher. There have been years their teacher wasn't much more than average and had made no connection with them - so they didn't feel compelled to adorn her gifts.

However I am a teacher and I hate this week! I hate forced 'appreciation' - it is very insincere. No other profession has forced employee appreciation, it is really kind of embarrassing. The appreciation for my job comes in the form of a paycheck. It is the gifts that are given randomly throughout the year that mean the most.

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C.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't see anything wrong with it, it sounds pretty typical to me. Just wait til elementary school if you think that's overwhelming! Lol But that's almost exactly what they've been doing at my daughter's school for years.

Now if you miss one or more of the days, I don't think it's a huge deal, just let the room moms know what you're able to do. I'd really aim for the flower and note if you have to choose. It's really not that overwhelming though when you put it in perspective.

Here is my suggestion for each of the days wether you want to do all or some: A flower you can pick from your yard or the park. The drawing can be simple and sweet, doesn't have to take all weekend, I think that part is a bit much. And you could buy some cookies from a grocery store bakery, doesn't have to be made from scratch.

Donate $5-$10 for the gift card. That's it, not really a big deal or too time consuming and it will still be appreciated. At least there's nothing going on Thursday! Lol

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M.T.

answers from New York on

I think doing something every day might be a bit much, and won't the teacher feel bad on Thursday, LOL? I think having the kids make cards and taking up a collection for a gift card is a great idea. Delivering them lunch or treats is a nice idea too. The flower idea is wierd. It may sound nice, but I live in an area where the florist is almost 10 miles away. It would take me 45 minutes to buy a flower there, and I would not drive 20 miles to buy a single flower, or take 45 minutes to go and do this. Grocery store, same thing, 8.5 miles on local roads and you would have to buy the entire bouquet. I have to ask, what is a "simple" gift card? How does it differ from fancy ones? LOL.
At the elementary school where I work, and at the school where my kids went for elementary, the PTO organizes a lunch for the staff, it's considered Staff Appreciation Day, not just for the teachers. Parents may opt to send something in for the luncheon. No gifts are collected for. Honestly, the lunch makes me a little nervous. I don't know what standards of safety these parents use in their food prep and tend to stick with the store bought items.

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

Yes this is typical, except for the whole "may take all weekend" to make a thank you drawing. This is the standard teacher appreciation stuff, and honestly, I don't think it's asking too much, nor does it take much time. I absolutely value the hard work and dedication of all my kids' teachers, and am happy to express it in this simple way. For the flower, just pick a flower from your yard, or maybe you have a neighbor you can ask. The thank you drawing: sit your kid down with a piece of paper and some crayons. Doesn't take any time from you! For the lunch, buy a bag of baby carrots from the store when you go grocery shopping, or a 2 liter beverage, no big whoop. You're lucky you get Thursday off! For the gift card, I'm assuming the letter is from a room parent, so all you have to do is send in a few dollars, and the room parent will take care of purchasing the gift card. I guarantee your child's teacher puts in a lot of extra time and her own money to prepare the lessons, crafts, projects, etc for the kids.

Bottom line though, if it's too overwhelming, just do whatever works for you.

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D.S.

answers from Columbus on

Yes it is, I got my note this week and I'm making Potato leek soup for the teacher's lunc ;-)

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I.G.

answers from Austin on

Its normal. Our school has done this too. I think its nice.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

No, I don't think that's out of line at all and it is pretty typical of what I see at the early elementary school level in our school system. Only one actually requires any time on your part (the note or drawing) which is what the teachers will treasure the most. The flower will take 30 seconds to snip from your yard, not everyone is expected to help with the lunch, and the gift card isn't required either, and it's pretty easy to drop $5 in an envelope at drop off time? I think this is actually well thought out, meaningful to the teachers, convenient for parents, and respectful of everyone's varying availability of time and money.

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Sorry but I have never heard of doing this at a preschool. Maybe its a regional thing. I would be a little annoyed by this. Just because some of us channel Martha Stewart and love these little "projects" doesn't mean we all have to suffer!

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

At a pre-school? No. Haven't done that. At school? Yes.

It sounds like a lot - but in reality - it's not. The only thing that seems "hard" is the food prep - I say that because of food allergies, personal preference, etc.

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M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

doesn't look as if they are saying you have to do any of it. Its just a thoughtful way to do a week. Pick and choose what you can do. Are they going to give your kid a failing grade if you don't? nope, these are room moms, not the teachers. I think just going outside and picking a dandelion would be good enough. This is spring and there are hundreds of flowers right out side the door. Strapped for time? I would just bring a dozen store bought cookies, or some pretzels to the lunch. The written note seems to be the only hard thing to do. Don't want to give money, you don't have too, and Thursday is missing. Doesn't seem like that much, and I send 2 kids to Preschool and 1 to day care. I don't work, but granted I don't really have much time on my hands for extra curricular activities. My oldest daughters pre-school is nature oriented and if you would see the list of how her backpack needs to be packed and the extra outdoor stuff she requires, you would maybe not like it.
just do one or two of the things and then you wont be overwhelmed.

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J.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

I don't think this sounds too bad...we always did it in daycare. In elementary school, the PTO did a breakfast for the teachers. The teachers enjoyed that.
If anyone did something else for the teachers that week, it was not a group plan.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Yes, this is normal. Our PTO does quite a bit, but the parents do too!

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I.W.

answers from Portland on

Sounds pretty typical to me. I don't see anything wrong with it. You can choose not to participate in all or part of the things that are planned.

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J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

i think it is sweet
the first is J. picking flowers from the garden, the 2nd sounds like cute homework, and the other days seem like options and not mandatory. I probably would do the Monday and Tuesday and possibly bring a desert or snack if i had time and money

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R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

we don't have room moms at our school, so I couldn't tell you if this is the norm or not. But personally I think its a great idea and not hard to do.

This weekend making the note/ drawing will take no more than 15 mins. Plus it helps with his writing/ small motor skills. It doesn't have to be any more than I love Miss X because she makes me smile/ is nice/ what ever your child says. Coming from a 4 yr old its not going to be a long response. Then they can draw a little picture on the bottom of the page.

The fresh flower you can pick up at any store. While there pick up an already made cupcakes, cookies, something from the deli.. you wouldn't have to spend anymore than $5-10 on it. If your going grocery shopping this weekend get it then, then you wont have to go out of your way.

For the gift card send in $5 for it.

The drawing is free as most of us have computer paper or colored construction paper and pens/ crayons.

The other 3 you can do for under $20. I think that is a nice amount to give to your childrens teacher and its being broken up into 3 different things... that I think she will love.

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M.2.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter's preschool did not celebrate Teacher Appreciation Week - I can honestly say I wasn't even aware of it at that time! She's now in first grade and the above sounds very typical for elementary school! Our school is doing a week long celebration next week as well and many of the same requests - ours is organized by the PTO. I'm one of the room moms for my daughters class and after being in the classroom at our first party I had a totally new appreciation for teachers =)

Your participation is completely voluntary so you shouldn't feel as though you have to participate but I really don't think it's asking for too much of your time and certainly not all weekend as the letter said (I'm not judging just being honest)!

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T.W.

answers from Syracuse on

I think it sounds like a nice idea, and they're all pretty simple things that don't really take a lot of time. If you want to participate but don't think you'll have much time, just do what you can.

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A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

We rec'd a list for our daughters first grade teacher yesterday! We will choose one of the days to take something.

It really does not sound from what you wrote that you are expected to all four days! I think they are giving options to you, and then you choose.

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D..

answers from Charlotte on

It really seems like no big deal, to be honest. I'd buy the flower and the gift at the same time, have your daughter or son sit down with some art supplies, and spend 20 minutes making a card. If you can make a dish on Tuesday night while you are making dinner, that would be lovely.

What is taking a lot of work is the person trying to put this all together. Sounds like she hasn't done it before.

I wonder why she didn't specifically ask for food - who is doing the food if all the parents aren't chipping in?

Truly, I don't think you've been asked for much. It just sounds a little drawn out, but it's not a lot of work.

My two cents...
Dawn

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J.S.

answers from Columbia on

I'm with you Erika - seems overwhelming, and a bit distasteful.

But I also don't have a kid in school yet....

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T.M.

answers from Redding on

Those all seem like pretty fun and easy projects and a good lesson for the children on "appreciation".
The only one I might skip would be the food prep thing.
Kids get a kick out of "giving", teaches them what it's about, if Mommy does it with a whole heart.

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F.C.

answers from Tampa on

I will tell you it is the "norm" in our area but it is all voluntary!!! Here is what I did when I was Homeroom Mom

Flowers: I went and bought a few dozen colored flower mixes at the store (they had them on sale during that week - can we say great marketing :) ) and stood outside the door so EVERYONE had a flower to give and then I brought in the extras as "b/c you are extra special" from the WHOLE class.

Drawing/Note: Sent a reminder and bright construction paper (1 sheet) home on Friday. (I keep construction paper on hand so I have a TON)

Food: I usually made something simple....Taco Salad/Cookies/etc...if parents wanted to add to it great. We have had parents bring in plates/cups/etc... (all from the $1 store)

Gift Card: I usually counted on the amount being equal to the kids in class (ie 15 kids = $15). There have been times I couldn't donate what I "felt" I could but I would usually do a minimum $1 only b/c I have had some parents who have done "extra".

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I am kind of old school but I have never had any requests come home from preschool.

Even this week in grade school nothing was requested though my daughter was adamant that we cut roses from the garden so she could give them to all her teachers. :)

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S.L.

answers from Boca Raton on

I think it is a lot too. My son is in Kindergarten, and even though he is only 6, has different teachers for different subjects. So he has 3 main teachers I need to buy for, and I need to do something each day for 5 days for each of them. Its a lot because I work full time. I thank you for posting this BECAUSE I FORGOT ALL ABOUT IT! I am thinking that on Monday I will send a card for each one, each with a gift card from Target in it, and that will suffice for the week. Do you think that is sufficient?

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Totally typical....and it doesn't end in elementary either--it gets WORSE! We just got an alert about TAW as well....along with "suggested, but completely voluntary" participation instructions.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

It's odd that the person who organized this would say "It may take all weekend to make something special." That was unwise and indicates someone who meant well but hasn't done this before -- because it puts off parents. It will NOT take all weekend to make a drawing, and no preschooler would have the patience. Otherwise, this is fine and very normal. When your child is in elementary you will see this kind of thing each year during teacher appreciation week. It is really almost no work to pick just one flower from your yard (you do not need to go buy a rose! pick something right at hand and send it in); to have your child write a one-sentence thank you note; to drop off a store-bought item for the lunch if you don't want to cook (or to send nothing -- plenty will send food); and to throw a few bucks into an envelope when you drop off your child. Remember, even five dollars is fine -- no one expects every parent to fork over big bucks here.

These aren't at all onerous especially if you value the teacher. Our class is doing many similar things next week and a parent is even covering while the teacher goes out to lunch. And remember -- this is all voluntary. But get used to it -- doing one thing each day during appreciation week is very common, I've found. Usually one parent does all the organizing and much of the work collecting the flowers, buying the gift card etc. so that person is the one investing the time; others only have to send things with their kids or make a quick stop in the office.

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C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

yes. I used to teach preschool and the parents did this every year for us. My kids are 4 and 7 and I have had to do this to their preschools too.

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Yep, pretty normal here. We are having our teacher's luncheon, all school sing, principal's luncheon all the same week (principal is retireing) so the kids are bringing a flower for the principal (vs teacher) to the all school sing. Our kids are all special needs and busy busy working on their songs for the all school sing so we reduced our activities, but have asked families to donate $2 each family (catered, people got sick last year) for the luncheon and a receipe (we are making a book for the teachers). So, yes, teacher appreciation week is a big deal at the schools no matter the age.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I would do all except the lunch thing. I would not take the extra time to make a dish to add to that. I expect there would be so much food that it could fill up the room and the teachers could not get in it...lol.

The gift card thing would be hard for us too. We get SSDI and are raising several of our grandchildren, 2 out of 3 of the parents are not working so not paying child support right now. I went without eating a couple of meals per day so the kids could have all the food they wanted. I come before the teacher so she would not get any monetary contributions from us.

Having suggestions for a specific activity on a week like this is a good idea. It allows the kids to feel part of a unit since they are all doing the same things. It gives them a sense of camaraderie.

I think letting him participate in the ones in the classroom would be wonderful. That way when they take their flower up to her he is part of the classroom. When they take their pictures up he is part of the group. On Friday, just tell him he got to help on the card and leave it at that. If you can give a dollar or $20. He doesn't need to know what he is giving.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I would skip the Wed. thing.
I would participate in the Monday and Tues. activities. Your child will feel left out if they don't participate.

Friday offering is your call. I would probably just send in $5.

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K.M.

answers from Washington DC on

HI. I didn't even know that it was national teacher appreciation week coming up! See I guess it depends on the school district, I've never received anything like this for either of my children, not in pre-school, elementary, middle or now high school. I think it's a nice idea though. I would pick one and only one to do. I think asking parents to do all is a bit much. SN..this is perfect for me, my son, 5, and I plan on making his teachers a collage of the field trip we went on this weekend. It had nothing to w/ NTAW, but it's perfect for it. Thanks!

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J.G.

answers from Cleveland on

I could see something like this coming for school, but not pre-school! Honestly, I was so unhappy with my son's progress this year I pulled him out of preschool about a month ago... he has learned more at home with just 30-60 min of teach time. So, I don't think the pre-school teachers would be worth it... but that is just my opion because of what we went through.

If you like her teachers - do what you have time to do & be done with it!

Oh, BTW I didn't even know next week was teacher appreciation week... thanks for letting me know!

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

agreed, doing them ALL is a bit much. but the way it's worded, i'm guessing it's not. it seems to me as if the room moms have organized the week into 'themes' so that everyone can pick which (if any) ideas they want to go with.
and if they DO expect you to do them all?
too bad!
:) khairete
S.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I don't think it is out of line. In fact the kids I nanny for brought home lists very similar to this. although they also had color days where they were asked to wear the teachers favorite colors. and also to bring a book to read for reading time that was about the teachers favorite things. (puppies and mountains lol)

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

Sometimes I think that the people organizing these things forget that some parents work 40 or more hours a week. While it may not seem like a lot to those that have free time, it's just another thing to add to the list of "have to dos" for the day & when you're already stretched thin, it can be stressful. I think it's a lot to ask of parents, and I think that parents should be able to show their appreciate when & how they want to.

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