S.A. asks from Stockton, CA on September 21, 2010
Is There Something Other than Meds That Will Help My ADHD Child?
My son started kindergarten this year, and before meeting with his kindergarten teacher yesterday...I too have always wondered if my son was ADHD. Sure enough his kindergarten teacher has the same worries. He is super smart and knows everything he is supposed to know, but has major issues with focus. He is physically not able to sit down and complete a task that requires more than a few minutes to do. I agreed to set up an appointment to have him evaluated, just to see what we're dealing with, but I do NOT believe in medicating him! I have heard stories about mom's that have tried medicating, but ended up stopping because it changed their whole child into something that was not them...almost zombie like I've heard. I feel that God made him who he is for a reason, and would just like some ideas on how to cope with it...without meds. Your ideas are greatly appreciated!!
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S.H. answers from Detroit on September 21, 2010
"The ADD Answer" by Lawlis is a good book/reference to intervention, behavior plans, strategies, diet, even medication (although it is not a pro medication slanted book). You can find it on Amazon.
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S.R. answers from San Francisco on September 22, 2010
There is a great book that can help called Gut and Psychology Syndrome. It would explain what you can do to help him without meds.
http://www.gutandpsychologysyndrome.com/
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C.S. answers from Sacramento on September 22, 2010
I know a tutor in the Roseville area that helps children tremendously and she also recommends a technology that improves brainwave frequencies. She showed us several double blind placebos and no safety issues. They give it to infants.
You'd have to ask her the details. Susan Weckter ###-###-####
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M.R. answers from Columbus on September 21, 2010
You should be rejoicing right now, because today is your lucky day! The stories you have heard are popular myth, and there is no reason to reject good quality care that will help your son on the pathway to a happy and healthy life with brain function he can count on!
Good medical care does not turn children into zombies and does not change a child's presonality. If that ever happens, you have a bad doctor, the treatment is not right, and that should never happen. It is no reason to reject what can be releif for your sons symptoms, if he sees a good doctor and not a quack, and only a quack would think that a zombie was OK. There are many more parents who found that medication was not just important, but made all the difference in the world in our children and their function, happiness, and our sanity. I never saw any of the side effect you mentioned, not that there are not possible side effects, but monsters from the grave are not one of them. Every medication has possible side effects, you try something else if you have them, you don't give up on the illness, and live in misery, unless you reject all medical care, this medical care is no different. There is no cop out here, this is no easy way because medication or no medication, ADHD is still some of the hardest work you will ever do. You are only treating your child so that they are no longer misserable, or you live the the missery, and make do with the less effective therapy without medication.
Medication is an appropriate tool for a valid medical issue, and there is no charcter defect or shame on anyone who uses them. It helps all the other standard care work better and should never be used alone, that is just plain bad care. A child with ADHD should have speech/ langague and OT if needed, Cognative behavioral therapy, play therapy (if younger) social skills classes, a full visual/ visual motor/ visual percptual developmental eye evaluation, behaviroal/ educational interventions and good medical care from either a Developmental Pediatrician or a Child Psychiatrist. It involves hard work from the child, you, the therapists and your doctor (which is not inexpensive) and appropriate medical intervention will shorten his treatment time and help him show much greater progress. If your son really has ADHD (either damaged nerutransmitter receptors or low production of neurotransmitters in his brain) he will likely be very angry with you as an adult when he discovers that a good deal of his issue happened in his brain at the molecular level, something he could neither fix, nor control on his own, and something that medical care had a good intervention for that would dramatically change his life for the better, not his personality or energy levels as a zombie. God made us all like we are for a reason, but if your son can count on his brain to work the way God inteneded, by either making enough neurotransmitter to carry his thoughts across the synapes (space between the brain cells which do not touch) or by helping to repair the nuerotransmitter receptors via appropriate medical therapy, then my bet is that God would intend you do help him like that.
If you do not have a private appontment for evaluation, and the evaluation he is getting is through your school district, be sure to get a full evaluation from a Developmental Pedicatrican, not your regular pediatrician. The school cannot diagnose a medical condition and will require that you get a medical diagnosis for them if they find that thier evaluation is "consistent" with ADHD. You should never know less about your child than the school does, and you should know that the school is only required to make your child functional at school, if you want to maximize your child's potiential, that is up to you. You will always need private services to supplement what the school provides if you want the best care for him. If you are accessing public services through the school district, log on to www.wrightslaw.com and start learning about advocacy.
Read books by Dr. Mel Levine and Dr. Russel Barkley. They are terrific resources about ADHD, treatement, causes, descriptions and great strategies.
Many children with ADHD are very smart. They are not smart enough to fix a nuerotransmitter defect in thier brains with out help. I don't know anyone smart enougth to regulate how their bodies make and use chemicals so that they can count on the electrical impulses we call thought processes, to be reliable.
Good luck to you, go to a Developmental Pediatrician, do some reading from reliable sources, and don't worry anymore about what you have heard, it is just not true.
M.
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K.A. answers from Little Rock on September 21, 2010
Different ADHD med effect people in different ways. Adderall was a complete disaster for us but was perfect for 2 girls at our church. Concerta worked great for us, but was disaster for someone else we know. If a medicine effects him negatively, just let the doctor know and the med can be switched to a different type. I recently talked to my doctor about changing meds because my son had been on the same med for several years and it no longer seemed to keep him focused. I asked about ViVance and my doctor told me it was the same basic ingredients as Adderall and since my son did not tolorate Adderall well he did not recommend ViVance for my son. Instead we are trying Straterra and so far so good. We have also used Focalin in the past and it worked well for one school year, but the next year it did not keep him focused. The doctor told me that he needed a bigger dose that was offered with Focalin and switched us to Concerta which was the same type of drug but offered bigger doses. My son has never been a zombie while on meds. Adderall did turn him into a angry, hateful, crying monster, but we got off of it as soon as we noticed the effects. Once we know that that type of medicine would not work for him the doctor has always steered us away from any other med like it.
I do understand your concerns. I did try other options before putting my son on meds but none of them worked for us. We did cut his sugar out of his diet completely and that did help some. This means that we use sugar substitutes and avoid juices, and watch his carb intake (potatoes, breads, pasta, etc. are limited). We have tried Omega 3,6,9 and herbs for focus. But they did not help at all. We even tried the herbal mentioned in the second post from the bottom and it did not help us. We also tried a Chiropractor but it did not help either.
I am Pentecostal and do not like to give my kids unnecessary meds either, but at the same time, he has got to get an education. My decision came down to not giving him meds and having a kid that ends up in special ed and never REALLY graduates or giving him meds and him doing fairly well in school and getting that education that he will need for life. We decided on the med and an education. My son has severe ADHD and is behind in speech development. He is almost caught up on speech development and with the meds, his ADHD is in control enough that he can focus in the classroom for the most part. He still has to be reminded to pay attention at times and the teacher still has to take things away that he is playing with in class occasionally, but his grades have gone from D's and F's to A's, B's, and C's. He is not a zombie by any means.
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M.B. answers from Washington DC on September 21, 2010
First, a teacher and a pediatrican (regular one) shouldn't diagnosis this. They should fill out a survey question which should be analyzed along with other information. There are a number of other "issues" that children can have which appear like ADHD, when that isn't the cause.
The fact that your son is bright, makes me wondering if he is "gifted" which, particularly in boys, can look like ADHD. There is a polish psychologist who wrote about "overexcitability" in gifted children, which sounds a lot like ADHD. Note, about gifteness -- anyone who tests your child will more likely give him the Weschler IQ test, if your son scores in the 99th percentile on two or more subtests, he needs another test. My daughter did this and the Weschler test have her an IQ in the mid-130. We did a different tests wiht a higher ceiling, and she actually has an IQ of 152. Big difference. Mid 130s would be nice, 152 is a problem!
The not sitting still could be a sensory issue (so you might want to see an OT) but it could just be that he is a five year old boy. Now a days, many people think boys should be held back. I think some of this is that schools are doing more academic stuff at younger ages, and thus what is normal development for children becomes problematic. However, you said you were worried about this a home, so there is likely to be more to this.
We have several people in our family that have ADHD, several have tried drugs, only one used them. His ADHD was so bad that he used them year round and on weekends, not just to be sedated when he went to school. He is also 22 years old and still uses them. He has trouble doing his job if he doesn't take them. The thing to remember is everyone will concentrate better if they take the drugs, that doesn't mean you need them. I would find it helpful to be 4inches taller, but I don't need to be 4 inches taller. Does that make sense?
Also Celiac disease can cause ADHD symptoms. Does he have any digestive issues?
Anyway, talk to a professional, someone who works for you,not the school and really dig into want exactly is your son's problem. Don't just assume it is ADHD.
Lastly, my son, who is 5, had a terrible time at school last year. His teacher viewed him as sooo bad he couldn't go back to our local catholic school, and that he need to go to the public school with an IEP. We tried. The county found him eligible -- he has epilepsy, that was a no brainer. However, they were going to give him next to nothing. We were already doing more for him at home. It was clear the county didn't really believe he needed anything. So rather than send him to a school who wasn't interested in helping him, I am home schooling him. I am not a strong homeschooler. If given a reasonable alternative, where someone was actually going to try to work with our family to help our son, I would send him to school, but no one wants to help.
Your son is exactly who God wants him to be, however that appears to be a problem for the school. The school can either work with you, to help your son; or they can fail him for being immature (so you'll do kindergarten again next year); or they can push you into finding some diagnosis so the "problem" can be blamed on your son.
This is the state of education in this country, from where I sit. It is very sad.
Good Luck! Remember the most important thing is to make sure your son knows you love him, and that he is a wonderful kid!
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E.A. answers from Erie on September 21, 2010
My son struggled through a Montessori environment, a private school, and public school. It wasn't the environment. He's also not a "typical" hyperactive child, but was finally diagnosed at the age of 15 with ADHD. It presented as an inability to focus, especially in places where there are a lot of people. He was constantly forgetting homework, was extremely disorganized (in spite of my best efforts to teach him otherwise) has failed two classes in high school and was kicked out of a very very good school because of it, but he wasn't really a discipline problem, is very smart, but has a hard time concentrating on anything longer than a few minutes, he couldn't even "hear" the teacher in a classroom setting, assemblies were excruciating for him. He gets plenty of exercise, and has a very good diet. We tried everything from positive discipline to new schools to diets to counseling. Finally, when we had him tested by a pediatric psychologist at the same place he is receiving counseling, he diagnosed him as ADHD. We then went to our doctor who prescribed medication. Like I said, we tried everything else.
Just wanted to share our story. The meds are working great for him. He said he can think more clearly and doesn't have problems focusing in class anymore, is much less forgetful...I'm not saying you need to try them, but don't necessarily rule them out, either. My son's brain chemistry is "different", and I liken the medication to the ones I take for my dx, which is Bipolar type 2. Without them I was a mess, on them I am stable and functioning. Yes, maybe "god" made us who we are, but with the help of medication we are both reaching our fullest potential. Would you tell a diabetic not to take his meds?
Try everything else, get a proper evaluation, look at his diet, take suggestions from professionals, find good care for him, but don't rule out anything just because you don't want to believe it will help.
Good luck.
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D.M. answers from Detroit on September 21, 2010
Hi S.---There is a lot to consider as you explore your options. I too am a proud parent of a smart kid and although he was never considered adhd, I did notice those excitability factors in him early on. His biggest problem that he couldn't work well without disturbing others. Well, he was not challenged by the program offered at the time. Teachers have difficult jobs and they have a hard time working with kids at the ends of the learning spectrums. First, you have to be an advocate to make sure the teacher is meeting his scholastic needs while not labeling him until she gets to know him better.
There a many things you can do to outside of drugs to help his restlessness. First is his diet. Be sure he eats mostly fruits, veggies, whole grains, beans (legumes), nuts and seeds. Use animal protein sparingly, like a side-dish or condiment. Please explore www.pcrm.org and read The China Study by T Colin Campbell to learn more about that and what their advice is to optimize the diet. Be sure you are eliminating processed foods, as those will contain negative ingredients that may contribute to his concentration and restlessness issues. Learning how to read ingredients on labels will be VERY important. Avoid HFCS, MSG (goes by many different names on food labels...contact me and I can share those with you), artificial colors, flavors and preservatives. I know that our gov't tells us that these are 'generally recognized as safe', but testing was done on one chemical only. Who knows what the combination of them do in a vulnerable body/brain.
Have him get plenty of exercise after school, before bed. Get plenty of sleep, drink clean, filtered water and then work on some 'behavioral therapy' at home...sort of like giving him practice sitting and doing projects at home. You can start with a short time and work up to longer periods with rewards, etc for his success.
Drugs can be an effective short-term tool but they usually require new and stronger drugs to achieve benefits and often have side effects just as problematic as the original diagnosis. So, don't worry about what they might say. Do your homework and be sure you are educated and comfortable with all options presented. I know many people who have simply worked on their kids behavior and those kids have done just fine. You know your child best. You didn't say if he'd ever attended preschool. He's likely just learning how to sit still for the first time in his life. Give him time to adjust. Good luck! D.
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T.K. answers from Dallas on September 21, 2010
I have no advice and ceratinly no judgement of any kind as I have never been in this position and would be dazed and confused if I were. I'm not anit-meds. I'm just reluctant to mess with tiny, unfinished brains. But if it would better my childs life and I had exhausted all other avenues, I would give it real thought.
Having said that, I have a little differant perspective to add. I worked in an elemetary school. I spent time in the cafeteria and the nurses office. There were kids that came to the nurses office for thier medications and moms that came in to discuss thier kids health. Those kids were zombies in the lunch room. They were easy to spot. The kids on adhd meds had no appetite at all. They just sat blankly and stared straight ahead during lunch. They didn't run on the playground. Teachers said SOME of them were "unteachable zombies, but they, at least they weren't disruptiong the class anymore". That's just sad. And they still had behavioral problems. They were sleeping giants. SOME of the boys were prone to violent outburtsts if anyone touched them or if they felt threatened. I've seen little boys that were bright red and shaking all over 15 minutes after taking thier meds. I met a little boy that seemed to vibrate - don't ask me how, the meds just made him have a tiny shiver all over that made him vibrate, I swear you could almost hear him hum. That could have been a bad dr. It could have been the wrong meds. But it was so common place in the school that noone batted an eye about it. It's common practice. The moms always had stories about how "this medication was so much better than the last one - you should've seen how bad that one was." I couldn't imagine anything worse!
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J.B. answers from Dallas on September 21, 2010
I have talked to many parents who opted not to do the drug route for the reason you gave. There are lots of options I believe available and some parents I have know went the dietary route and others did alternative medicine. I met someone the other day who went holistic route. So many doctors these days would rather give a pill than think outside the box. I would recommend that you talk to the doctor and make sure that it is someone who will be open to something other than the pill route, plus do you homework so you know some of your options. God bless
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J.J. answers from San Francisco on September 22, 2010
IF you decide to pursue medications, make sure you ask the following questions.
How long should it be before we see noticeable improvement in attention/behavior? What are the side effects, medical, emotional, behavioral of these proposed medications? What types of things are likely to improve? And most importantly, what organizational/behavioral/disciplinary supports can we provide our child that will help him/her become more aware, less impulsive, etc?
ALL children benefit from structure, predictability and limits. Helping your child to be organized and accountable will be a great skill that will help him all through his life. Having systems and plans in place will help all of you cope better.
There is also great support and information available for parents of children with ADD/ADHD at Parents Helping Parents www.php.com in San Jose. A support group meets monthly and has great speakers come to present on a variety of topics.
Updated
IF you decide to pursue medications, make sure you ask the following questions.
How long should it be before we see noticeable improvement in attention/behavior? What are the side effects, medical, emotional, behavioral of these proposed medications? What types of things are likely to improve? And most importantly, what organizational/behavioral/disciplinary supports can we provide our child that will help him/her become more aware, less impulsive, etc?
ALL children benefit from structure, predictability and limits. Helping your child to be organized and accountable will be a great skill that will help him all through his life. Having systems and plans in place will help all of you cope better.
There is also great support and information available for parents of children with ADD/ADHD at Parents Helping Parents www.php.com in San Jose. A support group meets monthly and has great speakers come to present on a variety of topics.
2 moms found this helpful
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