Is My Three Old Doing Too Much.

I have a 3 1/2 year old little boy. He goes to preschool five days a week from 9-5 and then 2 days a week he has swimming lessons. It is a lot for kids their age. I have started to notice that he is getting tired of swimming, so I think that I am going to pull him out of it for a while. He has told me that he wants to stop, so I guess what I am saying is why not ask Willow and see what she wants to do. They are smart enough to know what they want. Why not let her decide.

Is this ALL that she is doing? Just take a moment and stretch your mind a little more... what about play time running around with neighbors, trips to the grocery store, visiting with Grandma, church, B-day parties, trips to the park, holiday events, laundry mat, going shopping at the mall, etc.

With all of the additional daily and monthly routine activities we can get very busy. I am a hyper chuwawa... kind of person. I can get so busy that I end up avoiding down time at home. It's important for kids to just have down time at home to fiddle around the house playing toys, taking scheduled naps, and just plain 'ol being comfortable in their own home. If I had my way, we'd practically live out of the van. I want to be such a social person that I'd also prefer including socializing with friends, going out to dinner, visiting at their houses, going on trips.

So, I had to learn how to take all things into consideration. I am not so social anymore. After a busy day, the last thing my kids need is to be taken out to a restraunt while the adults yakity yak. They need a home cooked meal, play time in their jammies, a long bed time routine... you get the drift.

Another thing I did to help me prioritize and not overwhelm them is that I give myself a limit on daily activities. Two activities outside of the house a day is the limit. The rest of the day must be at home. Whether the at home time is just playing with mom or dad or playing with bedroom toys, or running around the yard with the neighbor kids, or having Grandma stop buy in the evening with a special dessert... it doesn't matter... what matters is that they are in their own environment.

As far as outside of the house activities goes, I try to balance those with one thing for them and one thing for me. We seem to be able to handle a trip to the gym for swimming and then a quick trip to the grocery store for a corn dog, milk, bread. Another example is that my 4 year old son goes to pre-school 3 times a week so after his 2 hour stint at pre-school, we can go to the park for some play time and peanut butter & jelly sandwhiches before nap. Then, we are home for the rest of the day.

We do something in the morning almost every day of the week. That is largely do to how busy and energetic my kids are. If they don't get out of the house in the morning... naps will probably not happen. I always regret that.

Just one more comment. I have even broken it down to small activities like going for a bike ride (they sit in the ride-a-long attachment and love it) -that's an out of the house activity that I can also hook up with a trip the park for a picnick lunch. But, that's it... that's the only activity we do outside of the house that day. I try to keep it calm the rest of the time.

And one more tip: Try to keep at least one day a week a home day... all day with no errands, or activities. For us, it's usually Monday or Friday (sometimes both). Dad is home on the weekends so Sat & Sun morning are spent at home. If it's sunny we usually do something with him in the afternoon. So, those days are pretty mellow also.

If your daughter is only doing what you have listed, pre-school in the morning 2 days a week, and 3 lessons in the evening or afternoon, I don't think that you are overloading her at all. But, if she's out and about the rest of the time... with trips to the mall, visiting grandma, grocery store, post office, park, visiting neighbors, church, family dinners, etc.... -that's the part I'd be looking at as far as cutting activities out.

R.,
I don't think she is doing too much for now. You might change your tune when she gets into elementary school, with the long days you might not want to have so many activities in the afternoon everyday. Each family and kid is different so just use your instincts to tell ya when you think she might be overwhelmed.
We have been exploreing diff avenues over the years, and if something doesn't work we change it.
We have 4 kids so it makes scheduling stuff a chore sometimes.
Enjoy your girls and most importantly have fun!
L.

Hi R.,

You know, i believe it is tough to decipher whether a child is too busy. If the child is having fun and you can afford all the ctivities and keep up physically and emotionally, then I say let her explore. I think it's great that she is social! I have a 16 month old that is just as busy. She currently doee Gymboree, Music class, playdates, and swimming. We are considering getting her into tumbling too. She loves to be with other kids! I think sometimes we begin to be afraid because of our own experiences or those of others. I know that has definitely happened to me before. I can say this though, talk to her. If she feels she is doing too much, then you can decide if you need to temporarily drop something.
I don't think we give children enough credit. They know when they need a break. I expect that if you don't bring it up, your child will if it bothers her. I do my very best to keep our daughter on a schedule. However, sometimes activities make the schedule fluctuate. I am sure you do this as well. :) It sounds like you have an independent chil who is active and a lot of fun like ours. :)
I can also say this, I'm pregnant and due in August and I can get burned out. However, my 16 month old has the energy of the energizer bunny. LOL She seems to always be rearing to go. I love it! It helps me stay active.
It sounds like you are a very loving mom. You will eventually know one way or another if you need to moderate her activities. :) I am encountering this too. Some kids just love to be more involved in everything! Sounds like she is loving these activities. It is so wonderful that you allow her to be explorative with new things. :)

Blessings,

Katherine

she's fine better than learning to sit on her butt all day watching tv and it teaches her structure. don't stress my mom always has something to say. and it usually isn't all that helpful. it just causes more stress

This is just my opinion but if you teach a child to always be busy then they never learn how to deal with boredom at all. Over time I think that will only do damage to her and it will or may eventually wear you down trying to keep her busy.

I think our society is on fast forward and teaching our children that they don't have to be doing everything is ok. Teach them how to love being home doing things that aren't structured and their imaginations learn to develop and go wild. It's a benefit to them, that's my opinion.

Our 5 year old just started T-Ball and it's his first organized activity and he's extremely social and outgoing.

My two cents is that I'd chime in with your mom and say scale back and just let her enjoy unstructured play time. It's a huge benefit to her.

Here's a link I found (scroll down a little) that might be some good reading for you: http://www.literacytrust.org.uk/talktoyourbaby/play.html

Take Care,
T.

As long as Willow wants to go and see her new friends and enjoy learning what she is taught then keep going...if you find her losing interest or begs not to go then pay attention to her signs of happiness and unhappiness. This will all determine how open she will take to new things in the future.

EM

R., the answer to your question relies solely on your daughter. Does she LIKE doing all of these things? If so, then you're not doing too much. If she's grouchy and always having meltdowns, then maybe it's too much for her. As long as she's getting some down time throughout the day, that's ok. Something to think about...they say that kids learn best from just playing...sometimes if it's not an organized event, they're forced to be more creative. Find what works for her and stick to it...she'll tell you when she's had enough! Good luck!

Hey, I just read something along these lines, today actually. In a copy of Newsweek in my dr. office...you know how long that can be. It does sound suspicious, not like she's being harmed, but what this article suggested is that so many parents are suckered into believing that all the growth that matters is in the first 3 years, while that's actually bunk. Your baby's brain develops much later and in more meaningful ways than all the baby genius marketers would have you think. I wish I had looked at the actual date of the magazine, but I think your mama bells are ringing...maybe see if skipping an activity seems to be noticed too much? Personally, if people said things to me that I thought were critical, I'd do anything to prove them wrong. The fact that you're asking for other opinions after your mom gave you hers shows maturity, and a genuine concern for your child. If YOU are frazzled taking her around to all these activities, then just know you won't hurt her by cutting back.
A.

That may be too much. Its ok to not be doing, going, and being somewhere. Soon you will have to be takeing 2 girls here and there. Then soon after that school will start. You will need time for homework, reading and so on. It also costs alot with 2 kids doing 2 or 3 things a week. Dont forget the things that dont cost $ like cooking togethter, matching socks and putting them away, the park ..... Keep things simple life is crazy at time as it is. And dont forget after all her activites do you have one that you do for yourself once a week that keeps you alive??????????

My son is 3.5 and needs to be kept busy. If at any point he is left idle he will find trouble, so I have found that this is my way of helping him get rid of energy and to keep him busy. Your child will let you know if she is doing to much. Listen for her signs. My mother is concerned about the same thing, but back when we were kids, there wasnt as much to get into trouble with, and obesity wasnt as high as it is now in children, so I think it is a good thing, but like I said pay attention to her signs, she will let you know if shes had enough.

If she doesn't seem burned out, then it's not too much, in my opinion. My daughter is 3, and is in Preschool 3 days a week (half days) has gymnastics 1 day a week and swim lessons two days a week. It seems like a lot, but we didn't start it all that way, and she LOVES every one of her activities. She even claps when we get there!

Of course, when she starts "real" school, we won't be able to keep up with all these activities, or she may have to pick her "favorite" one. I say, go with your gut instinct, and do what feels right for your family. Every child is different, and my daughter does really well with her activities. And as a Mom, you'll be able to tell if she's getting overstimulated, and it's not difficult to change things if she is. :)

I think, the busier the better, as long as your watching her progress to see if she's getting burned out. Ask her what she likes and doesn't like. Encourage her to keep going what let her make the decision. I was not a very active kid and I was overweight. finally in high school I started to be active and I got involved with sports and i loved it. It made me feel good, it kept me in shape and I remember all of the good times that I had while doing it. I wish that I would have been encouraged as a kid. I think that if I would have been encouraged to just "be active" as a kid I think that my issues to this day wouldn't be so bad about exercising and keeping fit.

Good luck and have fun.