Is My Child Embarrassed of Me?

Why do you think she would be embarrassed of you? Does she have a reason to be?

Why do you care? You're her mom, not her bestie.

Also, closing out screens on the internet when a parent enters the room is unacceptable. You need to know what she's up to. She's 13. Who is she talking to that she feels the need to hide it?

I don't think she is embarrassed by you. She is 13 , and she is probably doing something that you wouldn't allow.

Thirteen is the minimum age for a child to have a facebook account. It is not a requirement, it is a privilege. My child has electronics and online activities she would do nonstop if I didn't limit it. I'm the parent. I decide. Hiding it is an instant end to online access. Right now, my kids are earning screen time based on how much math, reading, and chores they do during the week. At the end of the week, they can spend time online. You should have every password, access to texts, and interactions are done in a public space. Not a matter of trust. It's a matter of policy.

Yes, you ARE insecure as a parent. I just read and answered your question asking if your child is gay.

You would be well served taking a parenting class. Please look for one at your local community college. Ask the school guidance counselor for suggestions. You REALLY need some help navigating teenhood. If you don't, your daughter is just going to be more and more embarrassed by you.

You also need to make sure that you have your daughter's password to FB. You need specific rules for FB in order for her to have the privilege of being on it. You should NEVER write on her wall. Ever. She will NOT like that. Even my 20 year old doesn't like it, but because he's a "man" now and I'm paying for his college expenses, he has to put up with a comment from me ever so often. When he PRIVATELY messages me asking me not to write, I simply write back "I love you anyway..." However, your daughter is NOT 20. Don't write ANYTHING on her FB.

The reason you need her password and the reason you need to look at her facebook every day is because you want to head off any trouble right away. If she were to post inappropriate pictures or if any of HER friends post inappropriate pictures, you need to know. Don't talk to her about any of the silly, inane, and just stupid stuff these girls talk about. You just want to watch out for her safety and all of that.

Since she does sleepovers with her friends, you need to have these mothers' phone numbers and you need to be calling the mothers to verify that it's okay for your daughter to sleep over. The reason is so that you actually know from the parent that your daughter is where she says she is going to be. If you start this NOW, she'll be used to it when she is 15 and won't be screaming because you "all of a sudden don't trust her".

Your daughter WILL be sneaky once in a while. That's her JOB, to see how far she can push the envelope. That's what teenagers do. Their brains are NOT developed enough to really understand the gravity of their actions. So yes, they push the envelope and sometimes act irrationally. As the parent, this is what you have to help her navigate with structure, understanding, an amount of strictness, and LOVE. If you leave love and understanding out, you will shoot yourself in the foot, making her resent the heck out of you and try to be even MORE sneaky.

Your daughter is no longer a child. She is a teen. Treat her with respect, but don't act scared of her. I think that if you take a parenting class, you will have much better perspective. And you won't be talking to her about stuff that pushes her away from you, like you are from the other thread.

i don't know, really. are you giving her reason to be embarrassed?
i know grammar correction is taboo around here, but so many responses are repeating it, it's making me twitch.
embarrassed BY.
T., your child may not be embarrassed BY you, just being 13.
but get control of the internet now. closing the browser every time you come in is a big red flag for me.
khairete
S.

I really think that you're feeling insecure as a parent. You have these expectations about how your daughter ought to be behaving in order to show she loves you based on how you behaved and felt as a teen toward your own mother. It's not a fair comparison or expectation.

I would try to have more family time with her, more one on one time, and talk with her more. Listen to her more. Learn about new things together. Take some sort of class or lesson together. Fill up some of the time she's spending with friends doing something as a family. The more you listen the more she'll talk and ask you questions.

She's 13. Yes, she is embarrassed by you. You were the odd duck when you were 13.

It's your responsibility to get to know her friends. I would insist that she introduce you to them and that you also get to know the friends' parents. I suggest that she's not introducing you because you don't require that she do so.

Have you never known her friends and their parents? If you didn't have friends over to your house, now is way past time to start doing them Insist that your daughter bring her friends home. Get to know them by talking with them without interrogating them. My granddaughter has to remind me every once in awhile that I ask too many question. lol

Mostly you'll get to know them by just having them around. Have snacks available. Ask your daughter about what she'd like you do do when her friends come over. Include her in making plans but insist that the friends have to come over.

It's normal for kids to be embarrassed by their parents. It's up to the parents to have enough confidence to not be put off by their embarrassment.

I suggest that it might be very helpful to start with some counseling so that you can improve your self-confidence, learn about being a parent to a teen and how to talk with your daughter so that you'll know her and her friends.

Like I always tell my kids, if they're not embarrassed by me, then I must not be doing it right.

My daughter is heading into the teen years, as well, and I am really starting to see how much the social dynamic changes around this age. It might be something as simple as, one of her friends has a cute big brother, and that's why she wants to go to her friend's house. Or maybe the friend has a big house with a pool, and all the kids want to congregate there. My guess is that it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the fact that teenagers are motivated by a whole different set of factors than they were as little girls. Just make a point of doing things with her - going out for lunch sometime, or having a pedicure together (even doing pedicures at home). The days of our little girls wanting our involvement in everything they do is quickly coming to an end, I'm afraid. :(

Most kids are embarrassed of their parents at 13. However, are you giving her reason to as well......... messy house, yourself unkept, etc

Next, a HUGE red flag...... ANYTIME a 13 yr old closes out a computer screen when you walk into the room is cause to check and double check what the 13 yr old is doing online. She should not have anything to hide and obviously feels a need to hide something.

You have bigger problems with a 13 yr old being sneaky on the computer. Your communication lines should be wide open and working now.

Why do you think she would be embarrassed of you? Is she embarrassed of your home for some reason? I knew a girl who came to our house all the time but she never wanted my daughter to come to her house. It turns out her mom was a hoarder and she was embarrassed of THAT, not her mom.
You really need to sit down and talk to her, AND you need to know what she's up to online. Even good kids can get into trouble without some level of supervision on the computer.

When my older son was thirteen, he would walk at a distance - a good five feet - from me and anyone else in the family who happened to be in vicinity. He was embarrassed by anything I said or did. For some kids, it just goes with being a young teen.

You may have treated your mother differently when you were that age, but your daughter may be in the same category as my son. (Incidentally, his oldest girl just turned twelve, and I wonder if she will be embarrassed by her family for a while.)

It also reminds me of a story I heard long ago: a young teen girl said to her mom, "I don't have a dress to wear to the party this weekend, Mom - will you go shopping with me?" So Mama picked herself up off the floor and said, "Sure!" They went to the mall and she tried on several dresses. She came out in one and asked, "Don't you think this one is too short?" Mama replied, "The color is pretty but, yes, I think it is too short." The girl responded, "Well, who asked you!" and flounced away.

If you're really dismayed and perplexed by this, you might seek a little counseling about how to deal with this until she grows out of it. Your daughter may not be able to explain it to you; she probably doesn't understand it herself. You'll need to pick your battles carefully. Your daughter needs to know that you trust her but that you're still the mama and you need to be able to *know* she's trustworthy.

I agree with the other posters that most 13 year olds are embarrassed by their parents. I was, and I love them dearly now (and did at the time, too, but wouldn't have admitted it). I also agree that you need to know what she is doing on the computer. Sit her down and lay down some ground rules. If she's not willing to show you what she's doing, she risks losing that privilege. The other thing you mentioned that concerns me is that you don't know her friends or their parents. That's something you should absolutley do something about. When you bring your daughter to a friend's house, get out of the car and go up to introduce yourself to the other parents or at the very least, call the parents on the phone to get directions to their house and strike up a bit of a conversation. That's how we got to know our daughters' friends' parents and then when we see them at school functions and such we make sure to wave or say hi. Now we know the other parents well and feel comfortable with where our girls are going. The teen years can be challenging! Good luck navigating these waters!

I think it's normal. There are kids who are not embarassed of their parents and there are those who are. I know I was embarassed of my parents around that age.

Honestly, I think a lot of kids are embarrassed of their parents at that age. I know I was...It doesn't have anything to do with the parents...it's just teen stuff.
You should get her password to FB

Most kids that age probably are. But for my kids if I don't know the kid and parents my kids don't go anywhere with them including their house. My oldest is 14 and there are very few of his friends that I know. But he only goes places with the ones I feel comfortable with them and the parents.

Thirteen-year-olds are embarrassed of their parents. This is a classic developmental stage, just like babies crawl at 7 months and have tantrums at 2 or 3. It doesn't happen with every kid (didn't happen for you), but it's very, very normal. And just like the toddler tantrums, it will pass.

this is a normal 13 year old girl. I think they get better at about 16..