Is My 10 Month Old Weaning Himself?? for Breastfeeding Mothers Only Please

Updated on July 19, 2010
K.C. asks from Apollo Beach, FL
22 answers

Hello Moms! I have been nursing my 10 month old son since he was born. I run my own home business, so I have the luxury of being able to stay at home with him and nurse still, which I am very grateful for.....THAT being said- my son is driving me a little nuts when it comes to nursing;) I know that as he is getting older and eating more solid food he would need to nurse less, but now when he nurses, he is only nursing on the right side for about 5 mins, and pretty much refuses to nurse on the left side now(which he really never liked that side anyway). While nursing now he will roll around, attempt to suck his toes AND nurse, pull on me, take the nipple in and out of his mouth, and pretty much anything else silly you can imagine. I really was hoping to last until he was a year old(at the end of Sept) but he doesnt really seem to care either way:( Any pointers to get hime intrested, or if something similar happened to you, what did you do??? Thanks Moms!!!

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So What Happened?

Well he is 3 weeks away from his 1st birthday and he is STILL nursing:) He has his good days and bad days(with nursing) but I am SO glad that we both made it an entire year! My goal was 6 months, then 9 months, and 1 year! I plan to start weaning him after his 1st birthday, I will miss it very much, but will be glad to have my body back too:)

Featured Answers

D.D.

answers from Sarasota on

At this age they are more interested in playing than eating. They all go through this stage. What I did was go to a quite room and breastfeed while standing and walk around(harder for them to wiggle away). Hope this helps~D.

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B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Nope, not weaning and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. ALot of moms stop at this stage because they think baby is unintersted, but its just the age, it will pass. both my boys went through this stage and a kid with a bottle would do it too, I guess its just easier to hand a child a bottle and walk away instead of try annd hold it for him, but trust me it will get better, he will start paying attention again. Just keep offering and he will eat until he's full and come back for more when he's hungry, just be available, offer when you wish, and he will come bcak just fine. Its just a phase.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Babies are so cute.
It's kind of the equivelant of "playing with their food".
He is discovering so many other things that nursing might take a back seat.
Keep trying, but don't beat yourself up if he is weaning himself. Many babies do that. My first baby was one of them. I fully intended to nurse for at least a year, but she just was over it. For a few days I begged her to nurse because my breasts got so engorged, but she was done. She was perfectly healthy and it didn't harm her in any way. I was the one not ready to be done.
My second baby was a different story. My boobs were his life even though he was a wonderful eater. I nursed him for 15 months.

Like I said, keep trying, but don't push it. If he's done, it's okay.

He sounds like a healthy, delightful baby!
Best wishes!

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M.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

Our son got antsy around this age too...... I found that wearing a necklace/beads that he could play with kept him busy while he ate. Otherwise he was trying to look all over, hit me, play, etc.

And for a short while, (during this phase), I would sometimes have to nurse him in a room where NOTHING was going on. No tv, radio, other people, toys, etc.

It's also okay to just nurse on one side per session. That is all I ever did from newborn on. I'd just rotate the side every other time. And my kids were both fast eaters (or I had a strong let down....) A feeding usually only took 10 to 15 minutes tops. Again, from newborn on.

Just keep nursing on demand. And don't offer too much other food. His main nutrition should still be coming from you. I strictly bf till 9 months and then introduced baby food and about a week later, table food. But there were still days at a time where all he would do was nurse. I didn't wean him till he was 18 months and that was only because I had very little milk left and I REALLY wanted to sleep for a whole night! LOL.

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S.H.

answers from Hartford on

I remember feeling similarly desperate. My son was so easily distracted while nursing...it took a while, but it gets much easier. The things I did/do that help are: I give him something to hold while nursing (a small towel). I used a nursing necklace which also helped to keep his fidgety hands busy. I nurse him in a quiet, darkened room that he associates with nursing. Also, learning how to nurse while lying down is really nice when you can't get them to sit still. He is much easier to nurse now, at 1, then he was a couple of months ago.

Also, I found a way to trick my baby into nursing from the right side when he's feeling finicky. If I can, I nurse him lying down. If I can't, I nurse him in my lap starting with the left side, when he is done, I twist my body and nurse him from the other breast. It takes a little flexibility, but it works.

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P.M.

answers from Tampa on

I am sorry to see so many Moms willing to undermine the breastfeeding relationship you have with your child and even encourage weaning!

This happens to ALL nursing Moms, it is very normal, so do not worry. This age is FULL of distractions, learning new things, and being more efficient with nursing. Their are nursing strikes (which is the TEMPORARY lack of interest in nursing at all, but will pass!) then there are partial strikes in which only one breast is boycotted - which too passes.

He is at the age now where you can start teaching him "nursing manners". They are "Wait", "Stop, No biting", and "When we get home". This will enable you to nurse longer without the occasional embarrassing moments so many Moms wean cold turkey about. The lifting of the shirt in public, the biting of the nipple, sucking hard as they get off the nipple, etc... Learning those 3 'commands' will make it easier on the Mom to continue nursing.

There are at least 3 nursing strikes during a child's breastfeeding relationship - - a child will not wean itself without encouragement or force before the age of 2-4 y/o. Since you obviously want to continue (You must have researched it and know it is best for both you and your child's health), I'd recommend offering the breast during wake up, naptime, if child is hurt or frustrated and at bedtime. By doing that simple step, you will allow him to know the breast is still there should he want it, and I will bet on it that he will come back soon.

Nursing efficiency imprives during aging. What took him 10 minutes to gulp down 8 oz, he can now suckle in 2 minutes... so don't worry about the length of time at the breast.

Good Luck and don't dwell on the negatives so much, things will work out.

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A.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

Oh my goodness, I feel like I am reading my own story! My DD nursed until she was 2 1/2 and it was really hard to wean her even then! My DS on the other hand was ready to be done at 8 months, the day he figured out he could eat food all by himself. I of course felt so guilty about letting him wean so soon I pushed him to nurse until he was 13 months, I even walked around the house one day topless (on the suggestion of a LC) to remind him about nursing, and he could have cared less! I don't really have any advice for you because I struggled with it myself. I finally did the "don't offer/ don't refuse" method of weaning and he was done in 3 days!

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J.R.

answers from Miami on

Hi K..
First of all, kudos for you for bfeeding so long and your willingness to continue

I also let my LO self-wean a bit. He is 21 mos. and nurses now an average of 3 times a day. At 10 months, he was nursing probably about 6 times, down from constant bfeeding for the first three months -- 14 times to 12, 10, 8, 6 etc. at some point he also started taking from one breast as well.

I just went with the flow so to speak -- his pace and his needs.

It sounds like your LO is an independent and creative thinker. He is curious about your body at well. That's fine and normal. I would relax and just follow his cues. He mite increase his interest a bit more still. There may be times as well when he does not feel well that he will return to bfeeding for comfort....

HTH. GL
Jilly

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R.W.

answers from Tampa on

I was always told that babies will quit nursing on their own when they are ready and that all of them are different. He's old enough to teach to drink from a cup. Babies tastes change and what you eat can change the taste of your milk. It may be he just doesn't like the taste any longer.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

My son just wanted to eat food at this age. So we let him. I think it's interesting how moms recognize that there's so much variation amongst kids about so many other things like sleep, being picky eaters, activity levels, etc are 100% adamant that every single child needs to nurse until he's exactly 12 months old. If your son is eating a wide variety of food, it's likely he's like mine, a healthy eater who's ready to move on. Now a happy 2.5 year old my son just, (very sadly to me) "self-weened" his cup of milk before bed. Sometimes they just decide when they're ready to grow up, even if we're not ready yet : (

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B.S.

answers from Miami on

i haven't read all of the responses, so this will probably be a repeat of info, but just in case. My daughter was a barracuda eater in the beginning, then we had some issues with my supply, and by 4 months or so, I had to nurse her in a dim room because she was so easily distracted. I ended up having to nurse and pump A LOT to get my supply back up to a reasonable level, but it was never really the same. That being said, I did nurse her until 14 months, although I feel that it was more for me than for her. She NEVER asked for it as other friends' kids have done in extended breastfeeding. She didn't try to play with me as with your son, but she was just impatient, I think. If you haven't tried the dim room, or the walking around as another mom suggested, you might try those. And he may very well come back around in a week or so. Also, if you aren't pumping, you might consider doing that to try to increase your supply. Sometimes babies get annoyed when the flow/supply decreases (even if he caused it in the first place with this lack of interest!). I ultimately found a lactation consultant towards the end that really helped me out. You might consider visiting one. She could measure how much milk your son is getting to let you know if you should try to amp up your supply to help his interest. Good luck, and I hope it all works out!

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D.C.

answers from Fresno on

I am in the same situation and it is a little frustrating. My son is 8 1/2 months and very curious about his world. I have been giving him bottles of frozen milk during the day and just started to mix in some formula to make sure he gets enough. I had the same problem with my older son at the same age. My little guy will nurse before bed and early morning and I am just going to be happy with that. When my older son weaned himself he was done and he would not nurse anytime of day. I think that as he eats more solid food my milk has decreased and my let down is a lot slower. He only seems interested when I'm really full of milk. I've tried pumping more to increase my milk but I work 4 days a week and have a 2 1/2 year old. So I guess I just have to be happy I made it this far.
good luck

A.G.

answers from Houston on

yes, he might be weaning, consider it lucky, most moms find it hard to wean past the 6 month milestone, when they can ask for it.

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V.B.

answers from Houston on

Both of my kids self-weaned around this age. I'm not sure why, but they both started to refuse to nurse at certain times of the day and by about 11 months, they were totally done with it. I had some milk in the freezer that I had pumped, so I was able to mix that with some formula until they were a year old, but some babies (apparently BOTH of mine) just don't nurse as long as we might want them to. I was sad because I wanted to nurse them both until at least a year (especially my second since I knew he was the last baby). But, they would cry and scream and push away, so it wasn't worth the fight. At least they did it one feeding at a time so that I didn't deal with the engorgement issue!

Congrats on continuing to nurse. Since he is still somewhat interested, I would continue to try, but don't force the issue if he gets upset over it. I think at that age we were down to nursing about 4 times per day, maybe 3. Just give him what you can and maybe supplement in the middle of the day when he is most active and unable to sit still for a feeding. Best of luck!

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

Is he recently crawling or walking? My DD learned to really get around at 7 months and at nine months, she was walking. She went on a huge nursing strike b/c she was too busy being busy! She calmed down after a while and we nursed until she was 11 1/2 months old. Just keep offering it. He might just be too distracted to nurse for long.

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S.W.

answers from Miami on

Let him wean, if he's doing it instinctively, as it sounds like he is, it's a blessing for you. If he is only nursing for 5 minutes, it sounds like a comfort measure. But if he is realizing that there are other ways to comfort himself, more power to him, and you for giving him safe ways to realize that.

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B.P.

answers from New York on

Yes, this happens to a lot of babies at this age. It shows they are having a great awareness of the world. Some people take this as a natural opportunity to wean since it often gets harder (especially the ones before bed) to do so later on. My son never wanted a bottle but he did seem less interested in nursing at this time too. My mother, who disliked nursing would triumphantly say "That's it!" but guess what...I kept offering and in a couple weeks, it was over and he was back to loving it. Just nurse with no one around with no distractions. He will be back on track soon enough.

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R.H.

answers from Boston on

Sometimes they do that stuff just because they're older, smarter and more interested in things, easily distracted, etc. If your milk supply is suffering because of it you can pump a bit here a there so you can buy yourself some time to see if this is really it. I think I weaned my DD too soon (9 months-she had the same behavior!) because soon after my supply went down she wanted it again. Too late for her, I dried up quick even with pumping! Give it a little time but realize that he may in fact be trying to tell you he's all set!

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K.G.

answers from Fort Wayne on

My dd did the same thing no matter how I had the room set up things for her to play with she just had no interest except for her 1 night feeding and that ceased at about 10.5 months because she started to sleep through the night. we got her going on the Good start toddler formula then to milk. as for your engorgment if you have not started to experiance that pleasure take a hot shower and express just enough to get some relief then Ice packs. dont completly empty your breasts it takes about 1-2 weeks to get your breasts back to normal. Remember you have done a great job lasting 10 months follow your childs lead.

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M.G.

answers from Oklahoma City on

That is great you nursed for ten months! Don't feel guilty if he does wean early! Keep trying to nurse him but also don't force. With my experience around 10 months to a year five minutes nursing was normal.

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J.J.

answers from Daytona Beach on

hi K.
my son did the same thing, then he just started to flat out refuse to latch on, shaking his head no. so i pumped for the last 2 mo. & gave him the breast milk in the bottle...he was an early crawler & walker so he liked that he could drink it fast or even sitting up! seemed like the only answer for us...though i was sad about him not wanting to nurse anymore...his still got the good milk til he was a yr. whatever you choose to do, is fine. you've already done a great job nursing this long!! gog bless...J. j

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S.W.

answers from Miami on

Exactly. They wean themselves; but think it OK to pinch, bite and play with your nipples...hence, keep him on your lap but give him the "toys" he's wanting to play with, like a teething ring, rattle, good ol' pots and pans...But once they've weaned themselves, it's ok to take your breasts back. (which is when your hubby will most likely want to resume HIS obsession...)

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