Is It Normal Hormones or PPD

This will sound like a copout--but please see a doctor who understands PPD and other depressive disorders. Also, do you have relatives who have had depression? It does seem to "run in families."
Five years ago, I had a major breakdown and now realize I have had depression/anxiety problems most of my life. Depression and anxiety often go together. I also have other family members who have struggled with depression and others I think probably have.
Anti-depressants do help, but sometimes the first one tried doesn't work and even so, it may take a few weeks to feel results.
But please do see a medical professional who understands depressive disorders.

Hi J., Congratulations on the birth of your son. I can't help but think that you're going through the normal stresses of hormone imbalances and fatigue. These are normal after delivery, however, if you are severely affected by your symptoms,as with PPD, you should talk with your doctor about them. Since it is the weekend, and probably a little harder to talk with your doctor,see if you can get some rest until you can reach him/her. Maybe you can take someone up on their babysitting offer, long enough to get a good long nap. Who knows, things might look a lot better, or at least easier to deal with ,on the other side of that nap. Best of wishes to you and your family.

Hi- just wanted to chime in. I am 38 and have a beautiful 3 mo old- my first also- and a I had c-section. I identify stongly with your situation- right down to being so worried about money. I had no choice- I had to go back to work. Please know that all your feelings are quite normal- thats not to say that you shouldn't worry about PPD. I was already on antidepressants when I had our little girl- but I visited with a therapist a couple of times not too long after she was born- and it really helped. Sometimes all you need is someone to validate your feelings - someone you feel is not just paying you "lip service".
See if your work has an EAP program- either that or call up that one good girlfriend and really have a good chat- tears and all.
I will echo a previous poster- take folks up on their offers to watch your kiddo- and use the time to take a nap. The first or second weekend I was home with our new baby, my friend called and announced she was coming over- then sent me to wal-mart so I could get out of the house- sounds sily but I really enjoyed just walking around wal-mart by myself- didn't buy anything much if I recall- and when I got back she suggested (strongly!) that I take a nap and I did. I also got a chance to talk about all those feeling that had been literally swirling around- I shed a few tears- but felt so much better afterwards- from sharing and from the nap.
ask your friend to help you be on the lookout for PPD and to talk to you if she really suspects what you are going through is more than the normal after baby hormones, and get support from your spouse as well. My husband was quite supportive and was actually good about keeping in touich with a couple of my girlfriends in case he thought i was a little too sad. having said all that- i cried on and off for the first month (and a couple times after that too)- there is just so much going on, your boby is readjusting all it's hormones- you have this baby that is the most beautiful, precious thing that just looking at it makes you well up with tears of love and joy- and then the worry about being responsible for the care of this tiny person makes you a little nervous... but hang it there- it does get better, much better. Keep the lines of communication with your spouse and a couple of girlfriends open and they'll help you through- and they will let you know if they are really worried about you and PPD. I hope that helped a little- if I had to boil it down- give yourself a break- literally and emotionally- and accept help (we are not superwomen)- even if it's so you can take a nap. best wishes and congratulations. Oh, and please don't let this keep you from enjoying your baby- take time to cuddle and really enjoy him :-)

J.-

It sounds like the baby blues to me. After both of my c-sections, I had all of these emotions. Both times I remember the feeling of being extremely overwhelmed all the time. It did not last very long. I would still talk to your doctor at your next check up and describe to him how you are feeling and let him determine if he/she thinks it is PPD. If you have any thoughts about harming yourself or your child, then get help immediately. I think that everything will be okay. You have just had a major surgery and on top of that you are a first time mother (there are no instructions to parenting) that will constantly question if you are doing what you are supposed to be doing. There will be feelings of joy, guilt ,happiness,saddness, and that strange "I wish that I were still pregnant". Your hormones are adjusting to a body that is used to carrying a baby. Get lots of rest when you can and don't be embarrassed to express your feelings to your husband and family. God Bless you.

Hi J.,
When my daughter was 5 months old I celebrated my 39th birthday. I honestly think your symptoms (due to horror-moanal fluctuations) are more acute when you are over 35 and have a baby.
It took me a while to straighten out and I took some Anti-depressants from my 6 week check up on...
I agree with Kylie that talking to someone might be the best thing. Is there an older Mom you can talk to (someone who was in her late 30's and starting the baby thing)? If you attend church lots of places will offer free counseling-if nothing else you might be able to talk to the pastor's wife or the wife of a deacon...I bring this up b/c you mentioned that you were in debt).
If you don't feel you are coming out of this by the time you go to work Or if you feel it's getting worse I'd advise talking to your OB/GYN and finding out if insurance will cover talking to a therapist.
I hope this helps. Our little girl is almost 3 and I still don't feel "normal" for me I honestly thing it's b/c of the hormonal shifts and age...
Good Luck!
C.

It sounds as though you may be dealing with PPD. Please talk to your doctor ASAP! If you have access to a postpartum doula, or someone else who could come in to give you help and a break once in a while, that may help in your recovery as well.

First of all have faith that God is with you and will be there always! Also it sounds like normal post-partum hormones...i have heard lots of moms say the same things as well as experience them myself..with a c-section too. Just try and remember that its hormones and not dwell on it and enjoy him while he is little..they grow up fast!

J.,

I know it sounds hard, but please relax and enjoy your precious new baby boy and your new role as mommy. I had my first child, Isaac just before I turned 37. I had to make the decision of whether to leave my job. Six weeks is just not long enough when you look into the eyes of your newborn! My husband and I made a enough money to have little extra each month. We had all the normal bills that everyone else has plus child support for two kids from his previous marriage. Then he lost his job when Isaac was 3 months old. It was a very scary and exhausting time. I do think physically and hormonally it is quite different for us women who have 1st babies in their 30s. And like you, I also had a c-section. I'm sure everything you are feeling is normal but if you are overwhelmed to the point of not being able to care for yourself or you son, it's time to let your dr. know. I know I'm not really offering any advice here but wanted to let you know that I relate to your situation. I will keep you in my prayers. God has a way of working things out when you think there is no way. Do what you feel is right in your heart and you will not be wrong. Also, if you need any baby things or to spill your guts, I check back here everyday. Take care!

Being a new mom is the most rewarding thing, but it is without a doubt hard. You are probably are experiencing PPD so I would call your doctor and even if it isn't PPD, getting something to just help you over this hump isn't saying anything negative about you. You have some major things going in your life and adding a baby makes it that much harder. Don't be afraid to ask for the help. I had to do the same thing on my first one. It does get easier, I promise. I just had my second little girl 11 weeks ago. Congratulations to you and your husband on your wonderful gift. You guys going to be great parents.

Wow. Going back to work at six weeks and having to leave your baby really does seem like the kind of thing that would make anyone very *naturally* sad, which you are probably experiencing on TOP of what looks like possible PPD.

Many women reconsider going back to work once the baby is born and they actually experience their bond with their baby and also when see the nature of the situation, practically, as well. Because I'm a SAHM, my husband and I are a one-car family, the floor needs fixing after a botched concrete staining and we haven't been able to afford to replace the woodwork, either. There are many things we can't just go out and buy, and we do without. And I couldn't possibly care less because I know my baby and we spend our days and nights together, happy, sad, tense, tired, playing, exploring, and experiencing this unbelievably short time together minute by precious minute. And try as I might, exact sounds of her vocalizations and the way she looks at me as she's nursing does fade quickly, but at least I have it in the moment when it is there.

See if you can get out of it. Talk to your husband about becoming a stay-at-home mom, if this is what you really want to do. Look at your expenses and see what you really need and what you can do without. You say you're badly in debt. Do you have cable? Trust me, you won't have time to use it much. Have it shut off. Can you start an at-home business after you have gotten into the swing of things? (You really do, you get the hang of being a parent pretty quickly.) Can you go part-time, either at your job or starting another?

If you want just a little longer, in fact, your doctor can write a note that your breastmilk supply is tentative and your baby is allergic to formula, so you need more time to stay home and nurse, and it would be the truth. Babies are all technically allergic to soy and milk. And early on, your breastmilk supply IS tentative! (I read this in the Dr. Sears Baby Book.) You might not get a paid extension, but at least you can get an extension.

If you've been using formula, consider working with a lactation consultant and La Leche League leaders (all free of charge) in your area to bring back your supply. It is absolutely not too late. This will save you and your husband roughly $2,500 in formula expenses. If you're using disposable diapers, sell what you have on Craigslist or Ebay and buy cloth diapers (they're very easy; check out Bumgenius 3.0, for example; you can find good deals at diaperpin.com, among other places, but avoid eBay). This will save you about another $2,000 or so - I forget the figure. We've only spent about $200 on ours, and our daughter is already 8 months old! She will use most of them till she is potty trained; others aren't one-size and she'll outgrow them but they last a long time, too. Then of course using cloth baby wipes instead of always having to go out and buy more saves you even more money, God knows how much. And of course, if you stay at home with that lovely little child of yours, you save money on childcare expenses.

Go to thrift shops for his clothes (and yours!) and don't worry about extra furniture. Have him sleep with you; it's safer than a crib, if you ask me - and a lot of other people out there, including the experts.

Don't buy jarred baby foods when the time comes. Make your own. You'll do wonderfully. Get Super Baby Food from the library and see how easy it is. You can read it as you nurse :)

Be creative and see what else you can do, if you decide you want to be there with your son. You might be amazed at what expenses crop up with going back to work, anyway, that make it not worth the pay: clothes, lunches, gas spent (projected to increase in price again), daycare, and of course days off of work when your son gets sick - and kids in daycare get sick constantly - medical expenses when your son gets sick, etc.

If you opt out of your current job for a part-time position with them or another company, you can look for a mother's cooperative group where women take turns caring for their children, and it's either cheap or free. This will reduce illnesses/med expenses, and is usually much higher-quality care than daycare.

I am willing to be that you have more possibilities open to you than you think!

L.

Hello J.! Post Partum Depression comes in many intensities and variations. Hormones have everything to do with this! Fears about being a new mom only add to your anxiety. I was a first time mom at 35 and all of the thoughts you are having, I have also had. Try and get some sunshine in your life (sounds simple, but the Vit. D helps with the depression) and take it one day at a time. Every day gets easier and your life will work out. It always does! Hang in there, new mama! You will be great and your life will balance back out eventually. Good luck. Take care of that precious baby. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. If you don't take care of mama, no one will be happy!

J., calm down and take a breath, it'll be okay. I had my son c section as well, about two years ago though. I had a bad reaction to some of the drugs, and halfway through surgery I had a serious allergic reaction to the morphine and started throwing up, it was wild. Make a long story short, I survived, we all did, and everything's okay. The bills are ugly, we were pretty bad in debt at the time too. Stressing out about 'will I be a good mom' and 'how will we pay the bills' and all that stuff is perfectly normal, and being totally emotional right now is normal too. The most important thing right now is how are you bonding with the new baby, and taking time to rest and let your body heal. I wouldn't worry about PPD too much unless you're not having anything to do with the baby, or you're withdrawing from everyone and not wanting to do anything. Breathe, relax, and just take things one day at a time for now, when you're ready everything else will still be there. If you need to cry, cry, it's okay, totally normal. Take care of yourself.

Your feelings are totally normal. After my daughter was born (also c-section), I had crying hours and laughing hours and worried constantly if I was being a good mom. By the time my 6 week check up came around, I felt almost normal. Your doctor will probably have you fill out a survey about how you are feeling physically and mentally. Answer every question 100% truthfully and he/she will let you know if there is anything to worry about. As far as being a good mom, you will do great. No one gets everything right. Continue to love your baby with all your heart and everything else will fall into place.
J.

Congrats on your little one!!! I am sure you are just feeling the post baby blues. If they are getting worse just talk to your doctor. They will reassure you and if it is PPD they will let you know. I know when I had a c-section with both my kids I was sad one min and then happy the next. That went away after about 8 weeks or so. I was tired alot also. But then again I had a two year old and a new baby. My kids are three and one now. They are such a job. I know you will have so much fun with your bundle of joy. I understand about worries about going back to work when you just had a little one. I am a stay at home mom that found this really great opportunity to work at home and be with my children. I have so much support from other moms its unreal. They are great. Working at home and still be able to take care of my kids is the best thing. I don't have to worry about getting someone else to take my kids for the day while I go to work. I would love to share more of this great opportunity with you.

Again congrats on your little boy!!! I know it will all work out. :) Have a wonderful day!!

S.
http://www.always4myfamily.com

You do NOT have PPD. All of your thoughts and fears are perfectly normal with just having a baby and dealing with healing from a c-section on top of it. Your hormones are going through a huge change right now so your mood is expected to be funky right now. PPD is when you don't think you have a beautiful child and you contemplate hurting or killing your child and/or yourself. Too many times people confuse the normal cycle of a woman's body/life with drastic disorders. You are going through a stressful (there is good stress and bad stress, all still equals stress) time so everything you are feeling is to be expected.

It is normal to ask yourself if you will be a good mom or not and have the "blues" as they call it. Are you breastfeeding? If you are, the blues are not as bad (meaning your hormones will not crash as soon). I had these same feelings with my first child. I would watch yourself, if these feelings don't subside soon, I would talk w/ you OB/GYN doctor. You may need some anti-depressants to help with the transition.

I never had a c-section so I can't speak to that but I did have a bad reaction to the epidural on top of a horribly painful (back labor)and long delivery, I couldn't feel my right half of my body until the next day. I couldn't hold him because I was throwing up and I literally thought I was dying (and I was okay with it!) I can identify with the anxiety and emotional thoughts. I think they are very normal and signs of a concerned, insightful human being! I was 32 with first child--cried and felt so out of control after I had him. Wanted to climb out of my own skin...felt so guilty and inadequate when I looked at him--"how could anything be this horrible and this wonderful at the same time?" were my exact thougts. I never thought about doing anything bad to the baby or myself just mainly felt overwhelmed and like I said...out of control emotionally--would cry and couldn't stop. I truly think it is your hormone levels coming down like a roller coaster coupled with a major lack of sleep and let's face it---BIG MAJOR LIFE CHANGE! With the second child I did the hormone patch (ask your doctor) which helps slow down the release of the hormones from what I understood. It helped a lot--still felt anxious, tired and emotional at times but definitely helped take the edge off--I was 37 when I had her and I had the experience of the first one to draw on. Now I am 39 with a two year old--still feel overwhelmed at times! I think the thing about having kids when we are older is that we have had lots of time to do things a certain way--we get used to being very autonomous and it is such a shock when your whole world changes--you wonder if you can do it, if you are going to make it, if you are ever going to be "you" again! The good news is it keeps changing! The first 6-10 weeks or so are survival mode--and probably longer with C-section. Lower your expectations of yourself (SERIOUSLY!), do some deep breathing (helps me still) and remember this is going to be a blur in your not so distant future! This stage does not last forever. You are going to figure out the financial part of it because you are a capable, bright mom who cares. The Mommy Club is rough at times--you are in the hazing stage!! Best of luck to you! And don't be afraid to tell your doctor how you feel...I know that is harder said than done with the first one. I was so relieved when I told the doctor when I was pregnant with my second child about my experiences...tell that wonderful hubby to hold that baby and you go lay down! :)

Actually hormone imbalance after delivery can cause PPD so the answer is yes to both. Nutrition is the key and you need to make sure you are still taking your prenatal vitamins and your Omega 3 fatty acids. You need the Omega 3's to manufacture hormones, particularly the protective type. Omega 3's come from fish oil. You need to take a healthly dose which may be up to 4000mg daily. You also need to make sure you are taking a healthy dose of B complex. You will feel better almost immediately.
Just don't buy your vitamins at Sam's or the drug store. Go to a health care practitioner or a good health food store and get recommendations.
Good luck...

You are totally normal, and you have PPD. Don't fret. I have had 3 babies, and after the 2nd, my husband actually asked me if I had thoughts of harming my baby-I told him no, only him! My hormones were up and down, and having a busy life, with work, kids, and a household to run can be overwhelming to even the most put together people. See you doctor and have a chat. You may not need any meds, just some support from friends and family...and by the way, nobody can afford to have kids, so just do what you have to do and don't let your debt affect your parenting. I shop at a discount grocery store, and I use coupons whenever I can. I keep a list of restaurants that have specials during the week. We can usually feed and keep our 3 kids in diapers for about 100.00 a week. Good luck, God bless.

I totally can relate to how you're feeling, as I can remember holding my new firstborn baby in the hospital and being flooded with worries, like an enormous weight had just landed on my shoulders. But you have to learn to take it one day at a time and keep your expectations low in regards to juggling everything you were used to doing on top of caring for an infant. I never dreamed the enormous responsibility I would feel to protect and care for my baby, and I worried constantly but it lessened a little all the time and got easier each day. Your baby will gradually let you get more sleep as well which definitely helps you to feel more normal again. Be sure to keep faith that things will work out and be ready to roll with the punches, and remember to not be too h*** o* yourself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you for worrying about the things you mentioned and is actually very normal and means you are a good mother because you care so much. I suffered from terrible anxiety in the first year after my first daughter was born and after seeing a therapist and deciding against taking anti-depressives I finally started to see the big picture and realize that I couldn't do it all and I had to quit being so darn h*** o* myself for that. I wish I had talked to someone sooner because it really did help to lay it all on someone besides my husband or other family, as well as doing yoga and other relaxing types of things like even just taking walks when I felt overwhelmed. Just remember that so many women also have to go back to work at six weeks postpartum and that although it's definitely not easy, you'll find a way through it and if it doesn't work out there are other options. Avoid making yourself feel like you don't have options because that is the root of the anxiety. Always tell yourself that if one thing doesn't work out, you'll just go to plan B and it really does ease your mind. You're going through a tremendous life change and you will find your way through it and adjust but it just takes some time. Remember to notice the little milestones where things get a little easier and it will help with your faith that things will continue to improve. Congratulations on your new son and enjoy all the time you do have with him!

Hi J.!! congratulations on your baby. I just had one almost 5 mos ago myself. Your hormones are going to be messing with you for a while. I would talk with your OB/gyn if you can, you may have a bit of the baby blues which is completely normal. Especially with you having negative reactions to the medication during delivery. So call you dr and discuss this with him/her.

take one day at a time. I work full-time myself and i have 2 little boys--one is 6 (with special needs) and one is 4.5 mos old. you will get into a routine and you will be able to make it out of the door and to work on time, trust me. If i can manage it, anyone can.

If you are having bad nights and if you are nursing, you may want to consider supplementing the last feeding with formula so you can get some better rest and your baby will last a little longer. I dont know if baby is taking bottle yet or not, but we ended up giving our baby breast milk in a bottle with a scoop of formula. our baby took either bottle or breast, so that wasnt an issue to give a bottle to him. I did enjoy breast feeding, but was glad he took a bottle too since it gave my husband a chance to feed baby and let me rest a little more too. I didnt really want to do that since i was nursing my baby, but it made all the difference supplementing and his sleep--he slept for at least 5 hours straight. so that may be worth a shot. it wont harm your baby, either. Do what is best for you and your situation.

A good nights rest will make all the difference.
Dont worry, you're not alone here. take it one day and step at a time. I only nursed my boy for 5 weeks and i was glad i got that time in, but once we went to bottle completely, it made a huge difference in the time it took to do everything i needed other than feeding. there were times i felt like a 24 hour snack bar. my boy was a big boy at birth 8 lbs 14 oz and just liked to eat. i couldnt keep up. But things are great and he is healthy on a soy formula!!!

Good look and chin up--it will get easier, I promise!!

It can be either to tell you the truth. I would tell your Dr. though. They can check your hormone levels. As for the can you afford it. The baby will not care how many clothes he has. He doesn't care if you only have one car. The baby needs love and food! If you can give him that, you are doing great!!! Kids cost as much as you let them. Good luck and try exercising to help with the stress. Maybe a walk with the baby and hubby. GOOD LUCK!

Hey J.,

I can only say that from what you have shared it doesn't necessarily sound like PPD but more like anxiety. If your thoughts and emotions that you did not eleaborate on contain anything in regards to harming yourself or your baby, you really need to seek immediate medical attention.
To be sure you really need to speak to your OB and follow any referrals from them for a thorough assessment. It could be hormonal and that would be easily determined by some lab work.
I can only speak on what you shared about being scared, wondering if you will be a good mom, if you can do this, how to afford it with current debt and then returning to work after 6 weeks knowing that your sleep will be disrupted at best. And what I can tell you is that it is normal for all of the above.
New moms who are not at all scared are just oblivious to the magnitude of caring and raising a human. Concerns about being a good mom, I think we all have those and that is why we strive to do everything so perfect and over indulge our little ones as if we can make up for what we missed in childhood... you will get this soon and balance is what we all need. oh and the ability to juggle. lol.
As for affording a baby, knowing that children in general are costly, all I can say is that I have seen many people with children on varying income levels and that you will find a way. You tend to decrease spending on frivilous stuff as well as things you previously thought were needed and somehow you just make ends meet. Of course this is one of those things you worry about anyway.
And yes you do go back to work, because you need the income and also because you need adult time to regroup and recharge, so that when you return home you missed your little one so much that you are somehow able to go the distance.
And as for sleep... well you just find a way to make do.... and in time you get to sleep again, albeit sometimes years from now.
As for the PPD... google symptoms, I think most are similar to depression and begin post partum. They would include lethagy, decreased motivation, decreased libido, change in appetite, weight gain/loss, thoughts of hopelessness or helplessness, increased need for sleep, decreased house cleaning or drop in personal hygiene. And now some of these due accompany a newborn, but those are influenced by lack of time, and not lack of desire. So if you find your desire to get things done has dissipated you may want to speak to a doctor soon. So you know... depression and anxiety can be alone or together and that each of them left unattended can and will worsen. So again if these things sound like a concern, schedule an appointment with a doctor you can be honest with, and if you have even the slightest thoughts of harm to self or others then call immediately and express this in the phone call as you need immediate attention. Don't feel bad if you need to seek help, that is why services are available and many woman find the need after childbirth.
The most important thing to remember is self care. You need to be at your best to give back to your little one. You can only give what you have.
And like some other posters said, take time for yourself, girl time, bath time, sleep when you can and see about a mommy group in your area. The reassurance you will gain from women in your position now is immense. Many Prayers for you and your family.
God Bless & Best Wishes,
-MB

Congratulations! I remember after my first baby was born feeling like I was in a fog and couldn't see out. It felt like I was drowning, and I didn't even have to worry about going back to work immediately! The hormonal changes you are going through are tremendous, and it is completely normal to feel a little crazy! That being said, I believe that if taking an anti-depressant for a little while can help you get some perspective and be able to enjoy your baby more instead of stressing all the time, then it is well worth it! My symptoms after my second baby were different, less acute, and more drawn out. I realized after both of these experiences that I needed a little help, so after my 3rd was born, I got on Zoloft that day, to head it off before it happened. That was one of the best decisions I have ever made! Honestly I have been able to ENJOY this baby so much more and not sweat the small stuff. I believe it helps me cope better with everyday situations, and also have more patience with my older children. I don't plan to stay on it indefinitely, but it has done me and my family a world of good. Hope this helps, and good luck! I know everyone says this, but they are only little once, so try to cherish what you can of this precious stage!