Is Having the New Baby Sit Right Next to the Older Child in the Car Safe?

Hi B. -

Congratulations on your coming baby! My newborn, Alyssa, sits in the captain's chair right next to my two-year old daughter in our mini-van. My four-year old son sits in the very back on his booster seat. So far, we've not had any problems, but I don't generally let my kids eat in the van and we only let them bring toys in the van if we're going on a long road trip.

While you have a very specific question, I think it's important to also consider how your daughter will act around your newborn in general. I spent my ENTIRE pregnancy prepping my kids for the coming of their sister by taking them to my doctor's appts., reading them baby prep books, watching the TLC baby shows with them, so on and so forth. Now that Alyssa is here, they're both completely enamored of her and haven't shown an ounce of jealously, resentment, or animosity towards her whatsoever. I find that spending some one-on-one time with each child really helps to reinforce their confidence that the baby won't take my love away from them.

Blessings to you and yours!

Good Morning B.!
This is my first response here on Mamasource. I just joined last week. Anyway, I'm a mother of 3 ages 7, 5 and 3. I wouldn't put the newborn in the middle until you know exactly how your 17 month will react with her right next to her. She may be jeolous of this new person taking your time and might take it out on the newborn. She may even just think the newborn is a neat toy to play with as well. I constantly had to watch my middle child around my newborn and would never have put her that close wihtout me right there.
Hope this helps.
S.

I have a 3 year old and a newborn and I was concerned about the same thing because my son was showing signs of jealousy. However, I decided to just try it out and see how he would act if I put them next to each other and he has surprisingly been such a mature young guy. He lets me know if she's throwing up and will wipe her mouth for me while I'm driving. He will also give her a bottle if I'm in a situation where I can't stop to feed her. So he is great with her being next to him. She actually likes sitting next to her to keep her company. The only drawback for me is he tends to bother her while she's sleeping so she ends up waking up at times when I would rather she sleeps. But he's getting better about that now.

But your situation is a little different because your older child is only 17 months. Like others have said I would suggest you test the waters and see how she reacts when the baby is next to her, if you would prefer the car seat is in the middle of the seat. Otherwise, I would suggest you keep them separated to be on the safe side.

Hello, I have always put my children in the seat not the middle. I would think that would be more unsafe. I thought is you should belt them down in the actual seats and they wont be close to eachother. D.

I recommend seeing how your older daughter does with the baby. See how she feels once the baby is born - she may really surprise you. You will know by how the interact at the hospital and at home which will be safer - together or apart.

My daughter was very active, and like your daughterm, she was notorious for throwing her toys all over the backseat; but once "HER" baby brother was born, she was very protective of him. She stopped the tantrums, never offered to throw her toys any more, never tried in any way to harm him no matter what he did to her, and she absolutely would not allow anyone do anything for him as long as he was in the backseat with her - she was the big sister and SHE COULD DO IT (her favorite sentence to me as I drove) and she did...... She still looks after him today and some day she will make a wonderful mother.

i have a five year old boy and an 11 month old girl.i tried to put them next to each other too but i ended up have to put them on opposite sides.although he loves her and is usually very good with her,he would get mad if she even touched him.so even though the safest place is in the middle,it is okay to put them in the sides.it was easier on me too becasue she was in a carrier and it was hard trying to climb through the car to get her out of the middle.maybe when she is older it will be okay to put them together but for now i would recomend putting them on the sides.you also don't have to worry about the older one trying to "help" and feeding the baby something it could choke on.

I would not take a chance, I would put them on opposite sided of the car. Especially if the 17 mth old hates the car, I would take all precautions.

We went through this debate also when my youngest son was born in 2005. My oldest son was turning 3 the next month, but still even at that age I decided to put them on opposite sides of the car. As long as your car seat is installed tightly and properly then your new baby should be fine if they are put on the opposite side of the car, out of reach (and the fly-zone) of stray toys and snacks.

This whole thing made me giggle. Not because the situation you're in is funny...but, because I have THREE kids...and when my youngest was born I had to put him in the middle of the other two. My daughter NONSTOP touched him and played with him. She loved him soooo much, she was in awe. And my other son...completely ignored him. Now my BABY is nearly TWO and HE is the one who is always messing with the others. Pulling hair, and kicking and throwing things. You just have to do the best you can. Do what's safest, and most comfortable. And, as a previous mommy said, Little ones can't throw what they don't have. That's excellent advice. :)

Good luck and congratulations!

I would suggest scheduling an appointment with the carseat checkers in your area. I went to a safety day with the Alachua Co. Safe Kids Coalition.

I did find out something interesting. The inspector told us that the middle is always the safest place, however, the rear-facing seat is the safer seat. So if you have one rear-facing and one front-facing, the front-facing should go in the middle. You could confirm that with them.

That being said, I went almost a year with 2 kids and a Hyundai Accent. That is a TINY 4-door sedan. It would have been physically impossible to put one in the middle and one on the side. The carseats are just too bulky for it to work, so I had to put them on the sides. Yes, it is less safe, but if the seat is installed properly, and you have no other choice you have to go with that.

As for the throwing food and toys. She can't throw something she doesn't have. That sounds harsh, but maybe try making sure she eats before you go somewhere and don't give her toys in the car. I know you need to concentrate on the road and if she's screaming for a toy that's hard, but it's a balancing act you have to get used to. She will get used to it and get over it.

well, we tried to put them together but my son, who is 28 months older than my daughter, kicked his sister and messed with her too much. So we split them. He can still reach over to give her something - or take it away! But since she was rear facing, they could see each other and he was finally not the only one in the back! A friend of mine put them together and one child unbuckled the other and the kid fell out on the floor, I'd separate them.
A

I have the baby in the passenger side and my older behind me. My oldest is 20 months and the baby is 6 weeks. They are both doing fine. Its just far enough that my oldest can not get into the little ones seat. I can still see them both. Does this help??

I have a three month old and a three yr old and put them on opposite sides of the car. My oldest sits in the middle and kinda mediates for me. A lot of the time my three yr old is trying to play with the baby and gets rough with her so I thought it best not to put them next to each other in the car for my babies sake.