Is 3 Months Too Young to Let My Baby Cry a Few Minutes to Sleep?

Hello,
I think you are putting him to nap in his crib is probably best, so he doesn't get used to sleeping in his swing- but I know that when you are desperate for some "me-time" it is hard to break that! I think I have read that letting the baby cry starts to work closer to 16 weeks or so, when they are starting to develop self-soothing skills. Just what I learned is that I would be careful about rocking to sleep- Now I have a 1 1/2 year old who has trouble getting herself to sleep because we rocked her. Good luck and I hope you find something that will work!
E.

C.,
I don't think 3 months is too young at all. My children had established sleep patterns by then, and actualy were sleeping through the night by 8 weeks. Babies establish these habits and patterns by us, the parents, teaching them how and when to sleep. Parent having more wisdom than child. Order vs. chaos. We actually let them cry if necessary from the day the came home from the hospital. If they are fed, burped, dry and ready for bed, and there is no other reason for them to be crying, they need to cry it out. If you keep going to them, you become their sleep crutch. Yes it's hard. Times my hubby had to hold me back from going in the room, times I had to hold him back. But it only happened 2 times. A child learns quick. Obviously, this was at nap and bedtimes, and you learn your baby's cries. You know when it is a "I want my way" cry and when it is a distress cry. The baby get's plenty of time being held, so don't feel like you are depriving your baby of being held and nurtured. That's a bunch of nonsense. Part of nurturing is training them.

That being said, I would definately try the swaddle routine. My daughter LOVED being swaddled, and so we did it. For 9 months. We had to find a bigger blanket! But it was how she felt best for sleeping. Each child is different, but the child MUST learn to settle themselves and 3 months is not too early to begin this. Otherwise, you may end up with the scenario I had with my firstborn. Even at a year or later...rock him to sleep with a bottle...pull the bottle out and rock back to sleep...stand up...sway back to sleep...put in crib, pat back to sleep...duck out of sight...crawl out of the room...RIDICULOUS!!!! The other 2 we put them down awake, helped them learn to fall asleep on their own and now we have GREAT sleepers and nappers. Sometimes my 5 y/o even ASKS for a nap! Often my 3 y/o will wake up from a nap (early) and I just leave him alone and he goes back to sleep.

Hope this helps!

C.-

Check out Dr. Weissbluth's book about sleep. We have it on our nightstand and it's extremely helpful. It will tell you what is appropriate based on your child's age.

Good luck!

M.

I would definitely recommend swaddling still especially since it works at night. My twins still sleep in their swings for naps (not sure how I am going to break THAT habit). He'll get into his groove... but you could try the intervals of crying. Maybe try rocking before you put him down? Good luck and congrats!

HI. Well, when I was a new mom I questioned this type of thing as well. I came up with a solution that worked for me and my baby. First off, I swaddled him not only a night but at nap too. This sent a signal to him that it was time to go night night. I would wake him up 2-3 hours later if he didn't wake up himself. It worked well. He was a wonderful napper after that. I did it again with my other two boys when they were babies too. (I have three boys).
Good Luck

Check out Dr. Sears and his Attachment Parenting books/website. Your child is high needs and needs more love from you, not "conditioning" to go to sleep on his own.

Good luck! By the way, I'm an Early Childhood Specialist and a Doula so this is not just my personal opinion!!

T.

I actually think it's possible he's overtired when he's going down for nap. Both the crying and the short naps are an indication that he's just past his point. Try catching his sleep wave sooner. with both my little ones, they were up for no longer than 1.5 hours before needing to go back down. But maybe your boy gets overstimulated faster.

I personally think that 13 weeks is too young. But I am not much of a CIO person anyway. Here is what I responded with to another person:

My son was younger (4-5 months) when we worked on napping in the crib but I started on the AM nap. It is the most consistent and for us the longest nap. I would put him in his crib for this nap and then the 2nd nap we co-slept...I needed sleep too. Once he "mastered" the AM nap we worked on the PM. It finally all worked out.

Also I let me son sleep in his swing a lot when he was that age. I don't think he had a hard time switching to the crib. I do think that the crib is hard for babies. It is a large open space that isn't as warm as a snuggly swing, bouncer, or mommies arms. I think you have to pick a goal such as AM nap at first. Also watch for signs of being tired in baby like red eyes, ear rubbing, and rubbing eyes. Also babies make their own schedule (at least mine did). Write out when he gets tired. I bet you will see a pattern and then you can get him down before he is overtired. In babies sleep begets sleep and the less they get the harder it is for them to relax enough for the next nap. Also MANY moms follow the sleep every two hours at this age for babies. It is a good rule to follow. Good luck I know how hard sleep issues are with babies, I actually think this is the hardest part of parenting a newborn/infant!!

My twins ( now 5) used to nap in there car seats all the time.

I would bring them in the house and they would sleep soundly in them.

They sleep better if more confined, such as the swaddling.

I would definitely try swaddling!!!! My son also liked to nap in his car seat, I think it was cozier, it also is smaller, so if they startle, then they are more contained.

In my opinion, 13 weeks is a little too young to let him cry. Although crying for 3 minutes isn't that bad - that's how long it takes to go to the bathroom and I wouldn't feel guilty about leaving him to do that! Also, there are different types of crying - screaming and wailing is obviously not good, but if it's more of a whine or a whimper, it's a way of self-soothing and that's healthy for him (I think!).

I agree with the other posters about him being overtired and to swaddle him. I think a mini-version of your bedtime routine (swaddling, music, bottle/nursing, binky, singing or stories) works great to signal that it's time to sleep. Also, put him down in the crib so he knows that's where he sleeps. And the Dr. Weissbluth book is super helpful, too. Good luck! "Me-time" is SO important, so I hope you get some soon!

In addition to Dr.Weissbluth's book, I'd also recommend Dr.Ferber's book, "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems". I sleep trained my son at 4 months and I'm very greatful I did. He's not always a perfect napper or night sleeper, but most nights he truly is.

I'd also like to add that do what's most comfortable for you and your family. The CIO method isn't for everyone.

Oh also, yes definatley try swaddling for naps. If it works for you at night, it may during the day too!

13 weeks is maybe a touch young still, though I think you have the right idea. I don't know that I'd go as long as 10 minutes this young - maybe 5 max. Sleep habits don't really get regular until they're about 4 months old. Letting him learn to settle himself is important, though.