I'm Jewish, Hubby's Christian - Any Advice on Exposing Children to Both

I am Jewish. My husband is Catholic. We both grew up in pretty religious homes. Just a couple of things after reading the posts:

1. Only Christians believe that Christians and Jews are really "Jews+Christ." I'm not saying that's wrong, but Jewish people would fundamentally disagree. For Jews, "Messianic Jews" are Christians. Again, fine, but if you are attempting to straddle the line that way, I think that you'll find that you end up being left out of both communities.

2. Do you want them to believe something in particular, or do you just want them to be exposed to different beliefs? Really different things. Either one is fine, but I think that you would approach the whole question differently.

3. This is what we do: Our kids are Jewish. We have them identify as Jews. This also means that we celebrate the Jewish holidays in our home, and they will go to Jewish religious school. But they know that Dad is Catholic, and we celebrate Christian holidays with his family. Sometimes he takes them to Church for those holidays (but mostly he doesn't - his perogative). The one exception to this rule is Christmas - Santa visits them at our home. But we explain that by saying that Santa got used to visiting Daddy when he was a little boy, and now he likes to visit dad's kids. Everyone was worried that they'd be "confused" but you know what? It's totally great. My daughter completely gets that people can be different religious and celebrate different holidays, even if they're in the same family.

You might want to check out and see if there are local interfaith groups. My husband and I had to take a class before we got married, and it was pretty helpful. Sometimes reform temples can refer you.

Good luck!

Our kiddo attends all the high holidays (and many of the others as well), is learning hebrew, can sing to god... and we're not jewish! His best friend is.

We also celebrate christmas, easter, ramadan, eide, children's day/girls day/ boys day (japanese), chinese new years, dia de los muertos, and many others . We celebrate the holidays of our friends and family and the cultures where we live. We also study/participate in many aspects of several religions (aka, we don't just come for the party ;)

It's natural for me, as this is how *I* was raised (traveling). I was never confused as a child except by extremists (and let's face it, extremists confuse EVERYONE except themselves). My own kiddo has no problem moving fluidly between religions and cultures. Kids are given that freedom (adults aren't really, with religion unless they're WITH kids).

The 6 religions kiddo is exposed to the most are Judaism (liberal, not orthodox), Christianity (typically anglican and catholic), Islam, Buddhism, Shintoism, & Wicca. He has no problems whatsoever with either the concepts or actions required of any of them.

Of course, we don't have family tension regarding religion... as I'm unaffiliated and DH is buddhist (which says that every area of the world shall have their own buddhas, and follow those buddhas teachings as the culture sees fit... aka buddhism absorbs/validates every other religion).

It is absolutely possible to share more than one religion with children without confusing them. Lots of people are from deeply religious households and end up confused anyway, so just do what feels comfortable for you. We talk to our children about different religious beliefs, and have shared different traditions with them. Ask yourself what are the important values you want to share, and as you said, most of these values are shared by most religions. I want my kids to ask questions.

Look to see if there is a Secular Jewish group in LA.

There is no reason that your children cannot become familiar with both religions. After all, Christianity grew out of Judiasm. Our history is the same, Christians don't celebrate the same feast days and such that your religion does but there is no reason that your children can't be involved in both. There are Messianic Jews who have accepted Christ as their Savior but are still practicing the basic Jewish Religion.Do a search on line for "completed Jews" or "Messianic Jews" and see what you find there that might be helpful to you.
I see no reason why you cannot incorporate both religions into your child's life.

Coming from a non-practicing household I sense you are starting to feel an imbalance. His traditions are stronger because of his family history and yours are not as prominent. (I'm sure also a strong part of who he is and why you fell in love with him) I think when you know what is important to you, teach that to your children with your husbands support. It is awesome for children to have the exposure to both. Although it would be difficult to teach about the Jewish faith and practices if you are not practicing or do not have the help of someone close by who is. I do have a great aunt who converted from Judaism to Catholicism with such strong spiritual passion I was always amazed. There are so many ways you can balance the 2. By example is best.

Hi N.,

I believe you need to pick one or the other. Judaism is a religion. Christianity is a relationship with Christ. It is the fulfillment of the law. The origins are the same but the end is completely different. The Old Testament points to Christ in so many ways. For instance, the Seder is a picture of the Christ. The Ark is a picture of Christ. You can bring your religion into your child's life like that. You may want to talk to a messianic jew and see how they incorporate their history and heritage into their faith.

If your family is nonpracticing and this means a lot to your husband or his family, then that may encourage spiritual growth in your child. All people really pick for themselves, but they need wise guidance in their childhood to make good decisions.

God bless you and congratulations on your little one!

M.

You and your husband need to get together and actually practice your religion. Your child will then not be confused.

You said you come from a non-practicing household. If you are the same, then convert to your husbands religion. Or both of you select a different religion. Telling your children you are Jewish while eating a ham sandwich is going to confuse your kids and teach your kids that hyprocisy is ok. By being a practicing Christian you will automatically be exposing them to Judiasm every time you expose them to the Old Testament.

Don't send your kids to church, take them.
Good luck.

I have a few friends in this situation (hubby and I are both Jewish though).
Our friends celebrate both holidays. I think they just focus on the family aspect of the holiday and teach the traditions behind the holidays. I think if you just make the holidays fun and focus on the symbolism of the holidays your children won't be too confused. I found this list on line. I am sure one of these places can fit your needs.

http://www.myjewishlearning.com/links/lindex/communities/...

TRy Unitarian Universalist church,it started out as a marriage of Christianity and Judaism.

I'm Jewish and my husband was raised Christian Scientist. Since neither of us believe in the divinity of Christ (although we both agree that he was a great teacher and rabbi), raising our sons Jewish made sense.

However, since we live in a small, rural town with very few Jews in it (and travel over an hour to attend synagogue and religious classes), I've made sure my sons are conversant in the basics of Christianity. Is it confusing at times? Yes. But, it makes for great discussion and great debate. Do my sons face anti-Semitism and prejudice? Yes, but that also makes for great discussion and great debate.

The bottom line, though, is to do what feels right for you. All paths to God are blessed.

Good luck.

Just my opinion.........

I do feel it will confuse your children if you and your husband don't agree on a focus of some sort of belief system. Whether it be Christian, Jewish, native american, or spiritual, etc... I have seen parents who start out like you are end up in a kind of competition. The children get limited exposure and then when they hit a certain age Mom decides to take the to a synagogue......Dad gets nervous and quickly counters with a trip to the church, and the kids are now choosing either Mom or Dad instead of a religion. I feel it is fine for Mom and Dad to have different beliefs, but that Mom and Dad need to choose for their children together now. The children can change their minds when they are adults and you can let them know that.

All that said, there is no reason why the kids can't be exposed to both religions........I'm just saying I think it is best to decide on a consistent belief system for them and expose them predominantly to that. Otherwise they will be confused and feel left out.

I am in the same boat as you, though I'm the Christian and my Hubby jewish. We have both decided it's important they lean about both and when they ate old enough to chose one religion they can. With my family we celebrate Christian holidays and with his family we celebrate Jewish holidays. I feel it's important they learn about both. It's part of who they are.

I am Penecostal and my husband is Russian Orthodox. Our children know both sides and they have actually decided themselves what religion they like better on their own free will. How we did it was we took them to both churches and we celebrated the holidays on the old calendar which is what his religion uses and the "right calendar" as I call it LOL I think its good to expose them to multiple religions even if to only learn it and not to practice it. Personally I think it would be much easier to do Jewish/Christian than what I have going on here. My best friend is Jewish and it seems more cut and dry to understand the differences in the 2 than my husband and I have it with us both being Christians but on 2 totally different levels if that makes sense?!? Good luck !

As the parents whatever you decide to do I`m sure is fine with the lord .,!
Shalom aleichem from paschar .

our daycare lady switches off, every other weekend. One weekend they go to her church, the next weekend they go to her husband's church. This seems to work for well for them and their 7 year old.

expose them to both, without pushing them into any religion. then allow kids to choose what they like, and be accepting of their decision. religion is a personal matter. should not be imposed on anyone. any religion, and every religion teach us the same: to have a close relationship with God, and be the best one can humanely be.

We are jewish my daughter-in- law is buddist my grandson is 3 he is casually taught both religions he will desside when he grows up selibrating all holidays so de will know both relax and enjoy the diversity A. no hills talk to your husband to make shure he goes along A. no hills now have 7 grandchildren