If You Had to Do It All over Again, What Would You NOT Buy?

We were very minimalist when our son was born. Some common things that we did without:

Changing table: I either changed him on our bed, on the floor, or in his bassinet and we all survived!

Bouncy seat or swing: I held him in a sling or put pillows & blankets on the floor for him

Pack & play: we co-slept when on vacation or asked the hotel to supply a crib

Infant Carrier carseat: we only got a convertible Britax carseat which goes from 5-65 lbs. Again, I would put him in a sling instead of carrying the carseat.

In addition, we borrowed as many things as possible. We got lots of hand-me-down maternity and baby clothes, and we borrowed an exersaucer from a friend. The biggest thing I couldn't live without was my sling (I actually had 3!). We also used cloth diapers which saved a ton of money. I always tried to remind myself that people were having babies for centuries without all these gadgets and humanity survived...so from that perspective the list of "needs" is very short! Congratulations to your friend!

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Forget the diaper Genie! For us it was a huge waste of money, everytime we opened it there was still a smell, easier to just put dirty diapers in bag, seal up and take the two seconds to walk to the trash!!! Could not live without the swing! It was a lifesaver. If you are doing a shower for her I think some of the most helpful gifts would be diapers, onesies, wipes (if she isn't just using wash clothes) and all those little consumable products that you are always having to run out and get. It was great to have a stock of the neccessities readily available and saved us a lot of money!

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You would be suprised how much fun kids can have with pots and pans and a little water. =) Sometimes I wish I had been born in my mom's generation when things were so much easier...
My motto is...if it doesn't make it through the washing machine or the dishwasher then OUT it goes!

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Forget the following:

- large travel systems
- sanitizers of any sort
- bounce chairs with a "wire" base (my daughter figured out how to tip it over fairly quickly)

Must have the following:
- front-snap T-shirts (so you don't have to pull shirts over a newborn's head, and not onesies so the umbilical cord can be cleaned without completely undressing)
- swing (great for mom and baby naps)
- wipe warmer (so you don't wake baby all the way up with a cold wipe during those night-time diaper changes)
- bounce chair with a broad base
- exersaucer
- stroller that reclines for napping

Good Luck
K.

1 mom found this helpful

I think some of this may depends on the baby and mother, but these are the things we did not use:
-the wipe warmer,
-swing,
-boppy pillow,
-bottle sterilizer,
-tummy time mat,
-crib bumper pads/comforter
-baby einstein videos (all the kids in my family did like the signing time videos www.signingtime.com)
-expensive glider...any kind of rocker would due
-I would only buy the eddie bauer wood highchair, these other highchairs (with all the nooks and crannies) are a pain to keep clean!!
-most of our toys have only been played with a handful of times, if that (I would only buy the toys that are proven to be exciting based on other mothers feedback)

Worth its weight in gold:
Ergo carrier
Diaper champ
Medela electric breastpump (I had the Pump in Style but now they make a smaller Freestyle)
Nursing footstool (for the rocking chair)
Svan highchair
Boppy Cradle in Comfort bouncer
Pack N Play (mainly used as a diaper changing station upstairs now)
Boppy pillow
Miracle Blanket
Large activity mat (Gymini and Boppy)
Stuffed animal lovey
Open ended nightgowns or zippered PJs (no snaps)
Halo sleepsack
Primo Euro bathtub
Mustela Newborn Foam shampoo (works well on cradle cap) and Stelatopia soap
Daily Tea mix n match clothes
Fisher Price booster seat
Pampers Swaddlers/Cruisers (very few leaks/blowouts)

Didn't get much use out of:
Bottle sterilizer or microwave sterilizer bags (dishwasher worked fine)
Food mill (she only ate baby food for 2 months and then wanted to feed herself finger foods only)
Rainforest Jumparoo (started crawling early, didn't want to be constrained)
BebePod and Aquarium bouncer (they were good while they lasted but they didn't last long as she was too mobile)
Snuggle Nest (kept scooting out of it)
Swing (felt guilty every time I put her in it--husband called it "baby crack")--it works though!
Hanging picture cards for the baby to look at while in the car (never even took it out of the package)
Swaddleme (she got out of those pretty quickly so we had to resort to the Miracle Blanket)
Lamaze activity mat (the one where they spin on their tummy)
Onesies (I prefer shirt and pants to fiddling with snaps)

Every baby is different, but these were the things that my son loved:

-Kiddapotomus SwaddleMe blankets
-Swing-this was the ONLY wat he would nap for his first 6 months. I don't know what we would have done without it.
-Exersaucer-He's a year and a half and still asks to play in it from time to time!
-The Happiest Baby on the Block (book or DVD). I had a very fussy newborn and the 5 S's saved my sanity. Friends with "easy" babies also used those tips when their babies got fussy.
-Bibs and burp cloths. I had a baby with reflux, so we used A LOT of these. I found that cloth diapers worked the best for burp cloths because they were the most absorbant.
-Some sort of sling and/or front carrier. We used both quite a bit.

Wouldn't Buy

-Any blankets--I got a ton as gifts and probably didn't use any of them.
-Receiving blankets--I thought I'd be able to swaddle with them, but they were completely worthless for us. Look for blankets that are the right dimensions for swaddling
-Shoes-We didn't use them until he started walking

I bought a ton of stuff too! I didnt really use the baby swing much and it fit for such a short time! Since it's big and pricy I would not get one next time.

You will need a stroller, car seat, etc. I think a bouncy seat is very useful. I wouldnt buy a "saucer" thing again for babies sitting up.... they are big and pricy and there are other alternatives at that age. Seems like my kids wanted out of them as soon as possible. What they tell you not to buy, the rolling walkers....my kids loved and was a life saver, but I didnt have stairs.....that's not for a tiny baby anyway.

I really, really love my wipes dispenser and it warms in the winter.... I still use it all the time.

I still love my rocking chair that's the best thing for holding baby! (my almost 6 yr old still likes to rock with mom and read so I think they 're worth the money)

I really loved having a Bobby pillow for banking the baby in my arms and rocking and sleeping with baby. We could both fall asleep (in the rocking chair :) and baby is secure and wont fall out.) It's great at 2 am....

I really liked having a cover for the grocery store carts.
I used for almost 3 years.

I wouldnt buy all kinds of sippy cups, keep to one brand that interchanges.

I wouldnt buy any kind of sanitizer things (appliances are big and you just dont use them) The dishwasher cleans just fine. Baby food makers, nah.....I'd get a humidifer though. It's nice to have when they're sick.

Good luck... that's all I can think of for now. L

I would have to say that I wouldn't waste my money on any type of Diaper Genie etc. I ended up with that and one other one that I used when I used cloth diapers.... but found myself using Walmart bags more than anything to keep diapers etc in when they were dirty. Unless using cloth then it's a waste of money and space.

I didn't do the swing thing as my LO didn't like the motion.. but the vibrating chair was invaluable. Little baby toys that they never play with... give them a box or paper etc instead. Much cheaper in the long run. Forget the colorful stuff... My LO always wanted whatever I had... they need to make baby cell phones and keys that are more real looking... I think that would help a lot of us mothers out when they want ours... if they had some that looked really real but that couldn't really dial out.

I would advise her to clean and not buy. She can wait until the baby is born and figure out what she can't live without. Everyone is a little different and I wish that I had waited to see what I really wanted after the baby came. She will get everything that she needs for the first few days from the hospital. A few receiving blankets, wipes, diapers is all she really needs.
I wish I never bought my nursing chair. I never used it, I co-slept and went back to bed with baby. Monitors, diaper creams, TOYS, I also never really used.

The one item I would not buy again is a playpen. Neither of my kids would play in a playpen--- they always howled to get out. The one item I would buy again, and buy the best model I could find, is a wind-up swing. Both of my boys loved it, and I used it every day, both to calm them down if they were fussy, and to get them to go to sleep for naptime.

Could not have lived without:

Swaddles by Kiddoptomus (cotton cloth ones hold better than the fleece ones)

Moby wrap

Head and Body Support by Kiddoptomus

Sleep sacks

One large and one small diaper bag. The small one was nice for quick outings and the big one was nice for all day things.

Teethers, all natural/organic bath supplies (many soaps have formaldehyde in them but not listed on the label), ice trays for homemade baby food along with a how to book

Everything else depended on the child. I have 6 kids and each one liked totally different things.

You already have a ton of responses, but I'll throw mine in too.
My biggest "mistake" purchase was a high chair. It's now on the second kid and I have finally ordered a booster seat with tray so I never have to clean the stupid thing again. The best thing about the high chair is that it is very stable, so I haven't had to worry about it tipping over, even with an older sibling climbing on it, but it is hard to clean and the huge tray is a pain to deal with. I was advised before I had my baby to skip the high chair, and I wish I had listened.
We took a pretty minimalist approach to baby gear. The stores will be open after the baby arrives, so there is always time to get something if you think you need it. Basic items like exersaucers and swings (we just had a portable swing to use as a bouncer/swing) can easily be bought off Craigslist.
We only bought single crib sheets (less than $10 each for soft knit ones) until our oldest was big enough to have a comforter, and then we picked one out at Ikea. We bought a simple crib from Ikea and didn't find the lack of a lowering side to be an issue.
If someone already has a comfortable chair, I would skip the rocker/glider.
We never had a fancy diaper pail.
Sleep sacks are very nice to have.
It is almost inevitable that people will give you clothes and blankets, so you need to buy very little in small sizes.

The things my baby could not live without:
tummy time mat (the one I got light up whenever she kicked and she absolutely loves it),
swing,
bouncy seat,
exersaucer (the only way I get any chores done)
bumbo seat-my baby loves it and she's got pretty chunky legs. I borrowed mine from a friend and don't know that I would've paid full price for it, but if you can find used it would be worth it. I got a tray to go on it and use it to sit at table with us or on counter top while I'm cooking.
A baby carrier (Baby Bjorn brand is totally overpriced). diaper genie
tons of blankets
lullabye cds- she needed background noise to sleep
books

Things I didn't need:
I breastfed my baby and am a stay-at-home mom so pretty much all the bottles and accessories I had went to waste since she went straight to a sippy cup, but a hooter hider was nice for public places.
Wipe warmer-she was a winter baby and it was still worthless
Boppy I used for about the first month only
Changing table
Shoes
stuffed animals

I got a lot of the pricier items that you only use for a little while from family and friends or on craigslist and saved my money for the things more important to me like the crib and travel system, that she will be using for a long time.

Hello M.,
This is a good question and I wish I would have posed it before having my last baby, now 22 months.

Here is my list of MUST HAVES: 1. Diaper Genie 2. Baby Monitor 3. White Noise Machine;your babies will sleep longer and deeper. This is a true blessing to both baby and mama.4. Microwave Bottle Sterilizer; loved it! absolutely worth the money.

Here is my list of DON'T NEED: 1.Baby Wipe Warmer (never use, dries out wipes, total waste of money), 2. Any other bottle besides Avent. Avent is the best and all the other bottles I tried were a waste. I breast fed 100% for three months then breast fed, pumped and bottle fed for several months after. The Avent bottle was the best. Just my opinion.

That's it though. Not too many Don'ts but I hope this helps with your frieind. I think it is great that you had your boys so close. My husband and I have an 11 year old and a 22 month old, both girls. We tried for 8 years to have our second. She is a true blessing. I am thankful for them both and know that being a Mom is the best job in the world!

I wish I had opted for a pack n play instead of a bassinet - it would have been more versatile and lasted longer.
To a large extent she won't know what she doesn't need or can't live without until the baby comes. There is usually a wealth of hand-me-downs from friends and family and plenty of near new items on craigslist for cheap. I would advise taking advantage of that as much as possible.

There is a book out there called Baby Bargains (it's updated each year, I believe.). It's sort of a consumer reports book for baby stuff. A friend lent it to me when I was pregnant and I found it helpful to sort though all the things the baby industry tries to sell you.

HTH
C.

I bought several things on craigslist (or used). This is a great way to save money and get the item you want and might not need. Some of the new swings cost over $80 and on craigslist $25 seems to be the norm. I got the jumperoo used as well. My son loved it, but it is not necessary.

I could not have survived without: swing, bouncer, boppy pillow, and exersaucer. These were so essential so my sanity, I can't even tell you...

But I wish I hadn't bought the big, bulky travel system stroller/carseat combo. It was handy at first to snap in the carseat to the big stroller. But my kids grew out of the infant carseat by about 7 months, so after that I was simply stuck with the bulky stroller. If I did it again, I'd get one of those snap-in frames for the carseat, and get a nice stroller (like a Maclaren) that I would have been happy with for many years.

I also hated my Diaper Genie. It worked much better to just use grocery bags in a small trash can that I could empty daily.

Hi M.,

Here's what I never got to use:

Tons of clothes!!!

I wanted to be "all prepared", so I took all the labels off and washed everything before my son was born. (NOT Recommended!)

I had an 8 lb 2 oz baby and lots of the stuff that I had been given from the layette was just too small immediately!

Also I wasn't big on "outfits" for the first 6 months. Just the all-in-one outfits worked best with the constant changing. Socks and slippers never stayed on anyway and my son was born in December - so I needed to keep his feet warm and the PJ style outfits with the feet included were the easiest. They worked great for day care too.

I could have left the labels on and kept the receipts and bought much more practical stuff.

I did not get a travel system - just a carseat that clipped onto the stroller. Loved my Chiccomama high chair.
LOVED the vibrating seat. Did not get a swing. Tried my son in one at a friend's house and it made him puke! I agree with the Exersaucer - greatest invention!

I tried a Baby Bjorn with my son and found it uncomfortable for me.

I bought a Maya wrap when I had to travel with my daughter overseas by myself when she was 10 weeks old and it was a life saver! I wish I had had one with my son. I continued to use it up until she was about 6 months - but you can use them longer than that. They are very versatile.

I did not use a bassinet - just the crib. Used a changing table but none of the fancy diaper hangers, warmers etc.
Never bothered with the diaper genie thing either. I did not have a Pack and Play but I have heard that these are great if you frequently visit Grandma or whatever. We didn't need to do this.

I loved my Ameda Breast Pump but waited to buy this. Wanted to make sure that breast feeding was going to be definite before I purchased one.

A Gliding Rocking chair with motion foot stool was also an asset for breastfeeding - and the cushions were washable so that was nice. Liked my Boppy too and it was great for "tummy time" for them too.

Baby Monitor - just the audio one, not the expensive video one!

Think that is it.

Good luck to your friend.

Warmly,
S.

Things I definitely didn't need:
- Boppy pillow (for nursing) - A rolled up towel or small throw pillow works just the same
- Bottle warmer- I breastfed, 'nuf said
- Wipes warmer- great thought, but the wipes got mildewy after awhile
-Tons and tons of blankets- I only used 2 or 3 of the 10 or so that I had
- Tons and tons of 0-3 month clothes- They grow out of that size so fast (at least mine did)
-Bumbo seat- I don't know if my son was just too chunky for it or what, but he did not look comfortable AT ALL
- Co sleeping snuggle nest- not comfy for baby or parents, they're fine in your bed without this
-Swing- my son sat in it maybe a handfull of times, but some moms love these
_Infant shoes- They're cute and all, but they just end up kicking them off

Things I loved:
- Moby Wrap- I was so sad when my boy got too heavy for it
- Ergo carrier- I use it all the time
- Lots and lots of recieving balnkets- I had a baby that spit up all the time so I used these as burp cloths I still use them now with my 13 month old as snot rags
-Johnny Jump up
- Big colorful mobile that plays something upbeat and "jazzy", not just lullabies
- Bobby pillow (for propping up baby when they can't quite sit up)- I know I know, I put this in both lists
-Preemie clothes- My son wasn't a preemie (7lbs 5oz) but he didn't fit into the 0-3 month clothes for a few weeks so the preemie sleeper, pants, socks , and a few onsies that I had really came in handy
- Babyleggs leg warmers- They're great for crawling (no skinned up knees or rug burn) and I live in way northern CA where it gets pretty chilly on the coast.

Hope this helps!

Jenn

Do not buy the swaddle blankets and hooded towels in the stores! The blankets are too small and the towels aren't thick enough to dry babies.
Instead I made a hooded towel, but a regular bath towel would work fine. The only swaddle blanket that was sold in stores that would work was the one by Kiddopotamus. Not the fancy Swaddle Me one with velcro, that one was pointless to me, they sell a blanket that is oversized and has the right stretch for swaddling. Or, if you sew, buy some knit cotton fabric and make your own!
Things I would definitely buy again: Boppy pillow (came in handy when he was learning to sit up, too), LOTS of Lansinoh cream, a sling! (for those days when the baby wants you to hold him/her while they nap), a Pack N Play.
My son lived in his Pack N Play for the first three months, took naps in it at the sitter's (still does) and will use it as a travel crib. It might help if you get them used to it young or maybe it's because I never used it as a playpen that he likes it?
Good luck to your friend. Oh, and one of the best gifts I got when I had my little boy was my mother-in-law for two weeks cooking dinner every night!

I wouldn't buy a diaper genie again....I wouldn't buy so many stuffed animals (they never play with them) I wouldn't buy those expensive diaper bags, they never hold as much as you think.
I couldn't live without the bouncey chairs, a sound machine (the ones that have the womb sound) and an excer-saucer playcenter.

I wasn't a big fan of the wiper warmer. By the time the wipes reached my baby's bottom they were cold already! : )

I know you have a ton of replies, but this is a fun request!

could NOT live without:

Swing - and to think I thought that one was unneccesary! ha!

Whitenoise machine - sleepwellbaby.com (the teddy bear)

Ergo carrier - fits any size baby - mine was huge.

Baby Einstein - I was one of those that said no tv until he couldn't drive 10 minutes at night.

Activity center: whether the disc kind, or a bouncer they are fabulous

Book: Happiest Baby On The Block - people always said my sone was an "easy" baby - thanks to this book

Rent a breastpump! I ended up not using one!

meet with a lactation consultant before the baby comes in case you need her, you will feel more comfortable. Or attend La Leche League meetings for wonderful free information and making friends. It really helped me.

Hammock bouncer: we took that with us to people's houses and he slept in it!

Cloth diapers: favorite is the happy heinys, but we used chinese prefolds until his weight stablized.

a large travel size bag that can hold all the changes of clothes and diapers, even for just an overnight, preferably with wheels.

Live Without:

we should have waited to buy a crib. he sleeps with us, it ended up being a clean laundry catchall, not saying no crib, just should have waited.

Toys! All the toys!!! clutter clutter clutter

baby bathtub and baby bath towels

waited to buy burb clothes - ended up not needing them.

All in all we waited to buy quite a bit until the baby arrived. That helped save money, and our son was over the 100th percentile for size, so he didn't fit a lot of stuff.

Best of luck!!

I loved our swing and didn't like the bouncer very much. I read a post to a similar question and someone had a great idea. Wait for those type of things until the baby comes, you never know what you child will like/want. I couldn't have lived without the Exersaucer when she was at that age, I could actually make dinner without being interrupted. Baby Einstein CD's (NOT DVD's) were a life saver as well as the stroller. I spent a lot of time walking around while my husband was at work.
I bought almost everything and although I could have lived without it all, it really did make my life easier. However the swing allowed me to nap at times, and make a quick meal but that was only until 3ish months.
Best of luck to your friend!
C.
PS. My daughter is June 29, 2007 :O)

First off everything I did need (except diapers) I have bought 2nd hand on craigslist or from consignment stores or have been given as hand me downs or gifts. This includes the changing table (not really necessary), crib (not used until 7 months), co-sleeper, all clothes, car seat, base for car seat to turn into stroller, ergo, sling, jogging stroller that converts into a bike trailer, exersauser, bumbo, pack-and-play, breast pump. Yes I bought NONE of these new! We were gifted a cloth diaper service and this is probably our one splurge as we still use it.

What of these would I buy if I had to do it again. The sling, the ergo, the car seat, cloth diapers, breast pump, clothes and I would buy them all 2nd hand if I could (except the breast pump).

Now must have items not mentioned here that no-one else has mentioned. Lanasoh nipple ointment, baby bliss gripe water, sears baby book (it covers everything), infant tylenol or motrin, good nursing bras, hylands teething tablets. All these items will help keep you sane.

C.

I was (& still am) a gadget lover so w/our 1st son I bought so many useless gadgets. Wasted money on the travel bottle warmer....takes way too long to get even lukewarm. Wasted money on the wipes warmer....the last several wipes at the bottom of it got burnt & had to be tossed. Bought too many different types of strollers. I recommend the snap-n-go for the first few months that they're in the infant seat. Once they're about 6 months, I'd get a smallish, sturdy one (Graco makes a good one & so does Kolcraft) that takes up a small amount of space in the car or the house, folds easily & is good for travel. No need for any kindsa blankets as she'll get tons of those (bought & hand-made) at showers. Same can be said for clothes, too. Buy just a few newborn onsies, sleepsacs/bunting thingies & feetie playsuits cuz that's what is easiest to wear the first couple of months. She'll get tons of clothes as gifts as well so once she does, then she can buy more of what she needs. Oh, I also agree on the boppy thing.....waste of money! Can just prop them w/pillows. Others have mentioned lotsa useless stuff so I won't go on.

One thing I highly recommend is some kind of music machine that hangs on the crib. Both our boys had the aquarium one from Fisher-Price & LOVED it! Has a small amount of light, plays music for about 7 minutes, differnt ty[es of music & water noises, & the fish 'swim' around. Our almost 4 yr old still loves his & has it hanging on the footboard of the bottom bunk & will turn it on to have a quiet moment.

Beaudreux's (SP?) Butte Paste....the best diaper rash cream out there! Test out all eqwuipment in th store before purchasing....open, close it, stroll it around so she cna see how easy it all is....or isn't. I suggest no frills equipment cuz the more frills, the mroe likley it is to be a problem. I do recommend a pac-n-go that has the 'mattress' that cna be lowered or raised. I myself, love Graco products....good quality & easy to open, close, travel with & use.

Can't live without:
Carseat--buy a Britax convertible--you get the most for your money in the long run.
A good stroller, after about 6 months. Before then, it's easier to use a sling. Don't buy the travel system--the carrier carseats are less safe than a convertible seat, and they're not the best strollers. When you pick a stroller, think hard about how you're likely to use it. We do a lot of outdoors stuff, so a jogger turned out to be best.
Baby sling--have at least 2, so you have one to wash and one to use. These are EXTREMELY simple to make, if you know anyone with even the most basic sewing skills.
High chair--after about 6 months old. You will probably use the same one for all your kids, so this is a place to shop carefully & spend a few bucks on decent quality.
Breastfeeding pillow--can also be used as baby seat, bumper to keep baby from rolling off of couch or bed, etc.
A bottle of Dr. Bronner's Baby Soap--works as shampoo, too, for a long time.
A bottle of coconut oil, for a really nice, natural, baby oil.
One of the natural diaper ointments. Burt's Bees is my favorite. With our first, we ended up living in an RV from the time she was 6 months to a few days before her first birthday, so we got a real crash course in "necessary" vs. "nice to have" vs. "don't bother".

Nice to have:
Baby food grinder.
A decent breast pump.
Swing (one of the tabletop ones is fine).
Clamp-on to the table booster seat (nice for restaurants, if you can find a cheap used one. I wouldn't spend a lot of money on it).
Baby "gym".
Baby hammock.
Jumper toy.
Walker.
Baby bathtub.
Definitely, it makes more sense to buy the things in this category used--except for the breast pump, for sanitary reasons.

Didn't use at all:
Bottles, etc--my kids are breastfed.
Neither of my kids could care less about the bouncy seat.
Or about pacifiers.
Set up a crib and a bassinet for my first one, & didn't use either one--much easier to co-sleep!

I agree with Jennifer H. Just buy what you absolutely need for the first week. Every parents' needs and babies needs are different. My must-have's and wish-I-didn't-waste-my-money-ons changed even from baby to baby and I had three consecutive babies in three years. Even something simple like diapers. I loaded up on Newborn diapers for my first baby, and he was too big for them when he was born. I loaded up on #1 diapers for my third baby (thinking I was now wiser) and he had sensitive skin and they gave him a rash. Lesson learned: buy one pack of diapers and wipes and make sure they work for you and baby before buying more.

For us, the only things that I needed right away and used religiously for all three babies were my Boppy pillow for nursing, a Hooter Hider for nursing in public, Motherhood Maternity sleep bras, good supportive nursing bras, Lansinoh breast cream for sore nipples, a pack n' play with bassinet attachment (or any portable place for baby to sleep), footsie pajamas/onesies (depending on climate), receiving blankets, burp cloths, Mylicon Infant Gas drops, and a changing pad (we use something like this one: http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=4631197.

Would SO get again: swaddle blankets, sound machine, Sleep sacks, Twilight Turtle, homeopathic teething tablets, any toy that vibrates! I think wipe warmers are not needed as well as bath robes for newborns. My baby hated his & just wanted a towel. So we never got to use the adorable 4 we got as gifts. But they're a pain anyway.

Hi M.,

I am a mother of a 16 mos old boy. When I had him I bought everything I needed and didn't need and til today..... I am spending my money on him like there is no tomorrow. Even with this down economy.

The things I didn't need was not realize until later. But I got good use out of it anyway. If I didn't use them yet. I regift.

Every parent is different. My husband hates the way I spend my money on our son. But he is worth every hard earn dollar and it so fun buying him things. But, even with all the daily spending I do on him. We still manage to save money aside for his college fun.

Money are made to be spent somehow. We sometime get the things that we need. But, most of the time is always the things that we want.

Tell your friend to enjoy her newborn and don't feel guilty for spending money on her child. They are priceless. There is no dollar amount that can compare to our babies

As women. We waste money somehow. You made it. You deserve it.

Good luck!!!!

Excellent question! The things that are now hip and cool to have to make your kids the braniacs really are a waste of money. For instance, Leapster, baby einstein and other expensive electronics. Kids really do well just using their creativity. You have to see each child as an individual because each one will have their own interests. Probably what I would recommend is NO TV/VIDEO IN THE CAR. Kids can look out the window and daydream just like we did. The best thing I have bought are age-old games such as chutes and ladders, connect 4, junior yahtzee, etc. It gets me and my kid to connect in a way that we can't just watching tv or playing video games. And, don't beat yourself up because you bought everything everyone told you you needed. Live and learn, and as your kids are getting older re-train them for the things they need.

Pegprego high chair
Contrary to popular opinion I loved the Pegprego high chair because... my daughter used it until she was 5 1/2 yrs old. Yes, she was able to sit in the chair at the table because it adjusted and she was able to be at the correct height to eat.

Diapers
wipes
onesies !!!
sleeping gowns (gender doesn't matter)

2 diaper bags...one stays in the car with clothes 2 sizes larger (you'll forget it has grown)...many ziplock bags for dirty diapers, wipes, etc.

Calmoceptine diaper rash cream...FANTASTIC!

If cribbing it, crib and SEVERAL sets of sheets and large puddle pads... I layered sheet, puddle pad, sheet, puddle pad, sheet, puddle pad...when diaper leaked (as they do once in a while), I stripped the top wet layers off and had a dry layer ready to go. Fast and all were back to sleep.

basket for baby diapers, wipes, etc. I moved it around the house with us.

Stephanie

The main things I could not live without were: cradle w/wheels, baby bjorn, inexpensive baby monitor, vibrating chair over bouncy chair, swing, incline baby support for sink for baths (It's not a tub. It's an incline fram with a piece of material over it.), Mylicon gas drops, colicky nipples, receiving blankets for swaddling then stretchy blankets from Gap/Osh Kosh for swaddling when older, countour changing table pad, jog stroller!!!, portable changing/carrying basket w/handle bought at Homegoods for $12.99 so you can take the basket to any room and change the baby. Things I wouldn't waste my money on: diaper Genie, Boppy, bottle warmer, wipe warmer unless it's a winter baby possibly, baby sling (baby Bjorn better),crib that changes into a toddler bed. Hope that helps. By the way, you can try selling what you have left on Craigslist.

Can't live without:
1. Baby Swing
2. Baby gym for tummy time and on the back entertainment
3. Lots of burp clothes since baby spit up very often (I also use it to catch drips during nursing)
4. More blankies / receiving blankets than you think you would need because spit ups happen very often

Waste of Money:
1. Boppy - regular pillow would do just fine
2. Fancy (or too many of) infant clothing
3. Diaper Genie - you can just take the poopy diapers out to the main garbage outside and make sure you empty the nursery room trash can frequently
4. crib aquarium (or musical things)
5. wipe warmer - never had one and never needed one

Invest in a few expensive items: a nice stroller - no plastic! (We have the orbit system and totally love love it!)
Also - I am so glad that I decorated my daughters nursery in colors and a theme that I love - the baby doesnt have any idea! I spend so much time in there and I am glad that I love her room..........a waste of money: expensive clothes for atleast the first year or so.....NO ONE sees them! Not to mention my baby is a spitter and has thrown up on everything she owns. Let people buy you clothes and any thing else you need - get from a consignment store.

Wipes and Bottle Warmer- Ridiculous!!!
Can't live without my front carrier and a workout exercise ball- yes, crazy- but it got us through MANY nights when she wouldn't stop crying. We would just hold her and bounce...it worked wonders!!!

There was a wonderful book out which I relied heavily on (along with my sister), I'm trying to remember the book title (if you tell it or the authors to me, I'll be able to say nope or yes it's that one!)

Something like Baby Bargains... it was a tall narrow thick book and sort of a consumer guide/girlfriends guide rolled in one, answering your exact question, along with quality and which products in that category were good/overpriced/junk/etc (rating sheets).

You truly do not need everything. Borrow, buy used/second hand (not car seats, of course but pretty much all else), shop on craigs list/garage sales, etc. Freecycle.org is another wonderful resource (cant be too picky there but it's great as everything is free).

Back to the book, the authors (a husband/wife couple) wrote this book and also one for brides (which I never saw). Look for it at the library (may have to look online and put in a request to get it, as it's not going to just sit on the shelf!!!). Again, it is a tall narrow thick book. About the size of a business envelope, but about 1" thick or more. (but my son is now almost 7 so they could've changed since then.) It is a WEALTH of information. I repeatedly checked it out from the library and loved it!

And even then, you do not need to get everything they recommend, it is what you personally feel is a must. And then there are personal variations. For example, I loved my boppy pillow for nursing but if you're not gonna nurse, or if you are quite large or if you have lots of pillows laying around and/or always nurse in the bedroom or a sofa with arms, then the boppy is a space (and money) waster.

Anyway - my "musts": baby washcloths, onesies, socks that DO NOT SLIP OFF (Old Navy worked for my toddler but I dont remember the brand I used for my baby), a swing or baby seat (I had the FP infant seat that converts into a toddler rocking chair - loved it! Still keeping that on hand for visiting babies). A pack n play (again, keeping that on hand).
Exersaucer (used or borrowed). They now have bumbo?? chairs for babies that "must" sit but can't quite yet, wasn't out when my son was a baby. I am not sure how I feel about that. I saw a friend's baby who did not want to recline, but wanted to sit up and watch what we were doing and we had to be working at the table and cldnt hold her, so she got that seat and baby was happy! So for that, for short times, sure.

Toys, really, all you really need is a set of links up till about one year old, then expand with a few classic toys like shape sorters, etc. Get quality toys over quantity!!! And washable ones! A few good books, after that go to the library!!

Never mind all the videos and such -if you must watch them, check them out from the library! (Signing Time is a great one for older toddlers & up tho). You do NOT need the whole set of baby einsteins, just one or two (again, 2nd hand is FINE.)

A stroller and a baby carrier (I loved my bjorn). I did not have a travel system, but did have a base for baby seat to snap into in the car.

A safe place for baby to sleep, clothes to wear, diapers to contain blowouts, wipes (there's a great recipe to make your own wipes out of plain white Bounty paper towels, love this!!) shampoo (I love Target's brand of J&J baby shampoo), blankets (of various sizes and light weight, some a little thicker, depending on season & purpose) and really, that is all you need. :-)

Pack n play - we picked a nice one that had a basinet and changing table attachment, with curved ends. I was sorry I picked that, as I would've much preferred straight edge ends (my arms are short and it was HARD to tuck in the sheet/blanket on the bottom) and I almost never used the attachments. Waste of $$ (I had 3/4 bassinet not a full bassinet, so I dont know if it would've been more used had it been a full sized bassinet.)

I love:
My backpack, baby bjorn, bouncy/vibrator seat, big electronic swing, jolly jumper, sippy cups-with-hand-that-attach-to-lids-instead-of-cups, mobile by Lamaz-- both babies just adored it.
I could/should have skipped:
the sling-- I always felt like my baby would roll out, so never used it-- the portable electric swing-- my baby just kept slipping through it, so we almost never used it!

Waste of money:

microwave bottle sterilizer (read that the sanitize cycle or washing with hot water is sufficient)
electronic toys (personally, the music aggravates me anyway)
exersaucer (i'm apparently against the other moms on this one, since so many loved them. you're not supposed to use them for more than 20 min at a time, because it jacks their hips)
baby bjorn (agreed that there are better carriers out there, i liked hotslings and the ergo...which are more or less depending)
definitely fancy clothes (mom, will you PLEASE stop buying janie and jack because i never use them!)
"learning" DVDs (load of crock)
wipes warmer
diaper genie or similar contraption (we just used a regular garbage pail w/lid and tossed the diapers often, a grocery sized bag would get filled by the end of the day, baking soda was used to deodorize. we used the same pail for disposable dipes as well as cloth, when we made the switch)
super fancy "calming" bath washes, etc. the scents were SO STRONG. only time to spend lots on those things is if the baby has super sensitive skin or skin problems.
ultimate crib sheet (didn't find it that useful)
cheap receiving blankets (agree that receiving blankets are useful, IF you get good ones. i like aden and anais for summer, ultimate swaddling blankets for cooler weather...big, roomy, and can be used after the baby is not being swaddled any more)

i would pick *one* of a bouncy seat, swing, or similar contraption.

you really need a good stroller.

we used out pack n' play a lot...i guess it depends on the family.

we used our boppy for tummy time after it became useless for nursing, so i didn't mind the purchase so much.

we got one of those infant-to-toddler booster seats with recline feature instead of a high chair. first years makes one for $30.

honestly, if your friend wants to save a lot of money, she should try to buy as much second hand as possible. we got things like the bumbo, the activity mat/gym, etc. for less than half the price because we got them used.

I had 3 kids, gave everything away, then 7 years later had a 4th child - and this is really all I had or bought for her:

Crib
Seat that hooked onto the kitchen table for meals (forget high chairs...they are bulky, take up space and isolate the child)
Car seat
Baby carrier to wear on my body (allowed me to get housework done, and/or much hiking)
stroller (small umbrella variety that you can take quickly and absolutely everywhere - even newborns do really well in the sling-like umbrella stroller)
clothing and blankets
A small basket of toys
Diapers

I LOVED going light for this last baby. You really don't need all the 'stuff' that is marketed to new mothers. For this last one, I didn't even use bottles - she nursed and then went straight to a cup. I bathed her in the kitchen sink, I threw diapers outside in the trash. I changed her on a blanket on the floor or the bed, and I nursed her on my living room couch, and she co-slept with me until she was a little older. I probably could have done without the crib too. :)

I didn't breastfeed either of my girls - complications with me in the hospital for the first one, and then just went straight to the bottle with the second. If she breastfeeds it will be a different matter, but if she bottle feeds, I encourage going with Good Start from Carnation. Everyone told us we needed to get her Emfamil or Similac, (which was almost twice the price). We tried those two formulas and they upset her tummy. With my second daughter, we went right to the Carnation and never had any problems. (As a baby formula, they are required to have all of the same ingredients, your are just paying for a name brand in most cases- plus she can get it even cheaper at Walmart than at the grocery store.)

The other thing I would invest in early is a good thermometer. We had the under the arm one, but they have since come out with the one that goes over the forehead. It takes 2 seconds and you immediately have their tempeture. It is not worth using the old fashion kind for this - when you have a sick baby, you want to take the tempeture quick.

Other than that, she most likely doesn't need the fancy clothes. They grow out of them so quickly and both of my girls lived in onesies - long ones in the winter and short ones in the summer. 3 or 4 cute little outfits for each season is plenty - and don't wash anything until you know you will use it. My oldest daughter was born in October and she got all of these cute summer outfits that she never got to wear, because by the time summer came she was in the 6 months size age. So make sure she pays attention to season when she buys an outfit those first few years. The last thing she wants is to spend money on a cute outfit that she will never get to wear.

Good Luck!

Can easily live w/out:

Bumbo -- don't think they were out when I had my baby six years ago.

Wipes warmer (just hold wipe in your hand for a few seconds before using it)

Bottle warmer (heat bottle in a pot of water on the stove instead)

Changing table -- we had one, but we could have easily put a changing pad on any surface, including the floor.

Jumpers and walkers -- both are dangerous, though in different ways.

Shoes until baby is walking. lots of baby clothes have footies anyway, and when they don't, socks work just fine.

Baby bedding beyond a mattress pad, a few crib sheets, and a few sleep sacks. Bumpers are not recommended, and there's no good reason for a crib skirt.

Any mobile that doesn't look interesting from underneath. Way too many people waste money on a mobile that matches the room decor but is completely boring to the baby.

Baby Einstein -- rediculous stuff.

Any clothing that is not machine washable.

Couldn't have lived w/out:

Exersaucer -- yes, it's true that you should not keep your child in it for more than 20 minutes at a time, but those 20 minutes allowed me to cook dinner, etc.

Mobile breast pump if the mom is going to breastfeed and work outside the home, even part time.

Cloth diapers to use as burp cloths -- not cute, but absorbant, bleachable, and large enough to cover your whole shoulder.

Baby carrier of some sort. We had a Bjorn; i don't think ergos were out. I was uncomfortable w/ a sling -- just a personal thing. If you wear your baby a lot, bouncy seats, and swings aren't as necessary.

I would recommend a Diaper Genie or similar is you have lots of stairs between you and your trash bins or if you have a dog (don't know about cats). Dogs think dirty diapers are a gourmet treat. You don't want to clean that up! We only used the Diaper Genie for poo diapers so that it would take longer to go through the insert. We had a regular trash can with a tight-fitting lid and lined with a drawstring trach bag for pee diapers.

Must haves for us so far have been:
-sleep sacks (two is enough, but you need more than one in case of a blowout)
-Fisher Price vibrating chair (given to us by a dear friend)

Not buy:
-diaper warmer. You will change them in so many places where you won't have it that if they get used to it, diaper changes anywhere but home will become difficult.
-grocery cart/high chair covers. Useless. My son never played with the stuff on them and thought the cart underneath was much more fun. Plus they are a real pain to attach and unattach EVERY time you go somewhere, especially once you have more than one child.
-bottle sterilizer. Dishwasher is just fine.
-shoes. Don't need them until they start walking.
-Boppy pillow. Too bulky.
-changing table. We just bought the changing pad and attached it to the top of the dresser (there are straps for this). WHen he doesn't need it anymore you just unattach it and have a regular dresser.

Buy:
-Triple Paste diaper cream.
-Sleep Sacks (buy them as you need them based on babys growth). Baby will be warm and you'll never worry about blanket suffocation.
-all baby clothing must go over the head or open in front. ANything that opens in the back is very difficult, especially for newborns.
- diaper genie, especially if your changing area is not near the outside garbage. The one they make now is much better that the original (the original one that twists the plastic around each diaper and they look like sausages when you empty it). The older version isn't as good at odor control.
-Moniter. Invaluable for peace of mind. I still use it in my 3 year olds room. It's good not just for sleeping, but if you keep the receiver in the main room during the day, if your child goes in his room to play by himself or with friends you can hear them (not that you don't stillhave to check on them!)
- exersaucer, stationary walker type thing.
- Pack N Play for traveling. Doesn't have to be a fancy one. Don't get one that has ruffles or anything that hangs off the bottom as it get horribly grungy.

All you really need are diapers, wipes, baby bag, and a crib. You also need clothes and baby shampoo and baby lotion, car seat and a stroller. All the other stuff like changing tables and diaper pails are just extras.

Hi M.,

I will answer the flip side. The one thing I am so glad I did get was cloth diaper service. A gift started me on the service and we kept it going until my daughter was potty trained.

S.

Thankfully I belonged to a group of women that was OK with borrowing and loaning out a lot of the big ticket items that are OK to share... bassinet, swing, baby bjorn, exersaucer, sling, backpack carrier, doorway jumper, etc. And we had our kids staggered so it worked out. That way we each only bought ONE or two things and yet we had access to everything. Many people are willing to loan things out, just ask!

Every baby has a different personality, but I could NOT have survived without the swing and backpack carrier for my first and the sling & backpack carrier for my second.

Things I never used or never dreamed of buying:
Diaper Genie - used cloth diapers and used a new gabage can for a diaper pail
Wipe warmer - i rinsed them under warm water before use in the winter
Bottle warmer - I nursed or used room temp water for bottles
Changing table - I put a changing pad on top of a dresser with anti-skid pad
White noise machine - kids need to learn to deal with noise and self soothe
Baby Einstein videos/DVDs - we didn't really watch TV or if we did it was PBS kids shows. My kids are now 10 and 14 and don't feel like they're deprived and prefer educational / documentary type shows on the history or learning channels.
Shoes - don't need them until they walk to protect their feet
Infant clothing - we worn jammies unless it was picture time
Most clothing was gifts or second hand / consignment store since they grow so fast anyway.

there is a book called "baby bargains 2008" It does a good job breaking down what you need and what you don't. I did not need as many outfits as I bought, the baby grows so fast she hardly wore half of them, I still over buy clothes now.

I also bought everything under the sun, and finally after three children I realize that it was SO unnecessary. I wouldn't buy any of the "educational" toys, or many toys at all for that matter. The family will receive some as gifts, and the rest of the entertainment can come from basic things around the house like plastic plates and cups, small blankets for peek-a-boo, books, safe kitchen utensils like measuring cups and spoons, etc. We also could have done without a mobile, baby gym (baby lies under arches hung with toys), cutesy table lamp and room decor stuff (by the time they are 3 years old the baby stuff will look too young), even a changing table isn't necessary (use the bed until they are rolling and then the floor). There are things that I really couldn't live without though: a baby carrier (sling or baby bjorn), safe carseat, stroller that is lightweight and easy to maneuver, a few outfits (we also went WAY over the top with clothing and much of it wasn't even worn -- even after three kids, the same clothing still had the new tags on them!), exersaucer (great for keeping baby entertained and safely corralled at the same time -- the stationary kind, not a walker), and a "johnny jump" (hangs in the doorway for baby to jump up and down in -- all the kids loved it!). Good luck!

The diaper Genie was a pain in the butt and got stinky. I quit using it.

I didn't need the boppy. You know that u shaped pillow that goes around you to hold up the baby when you breastfeed? But I loved my swing. I got it second hand and it was a lifesaver. Rattles were nice. She loved them. But stuffed toys I could live without. The mobile was nice too. Most of my stuff I got second hand and through my baby shower so she should probably wait until after the shower to start buying things. She might be surprised!

The biggest thing I didn't use was the bassinet! She was in it for only about 3 weeks! I didn't use a changing table (my grandma (who watched her while i worked) actually used the bassinet to changer her!) when i do it all again, I will just go with a pack'n'play with the bassinet insert!

a bouncy chair that vibrates was my best friend!

Swing- we used it, but I got a hand-me-down from a friend.

I didn't use a bottle warmer or a wipe warmer, nor did I use any sanitizer things, the dishwasher did a fine job!

Diaper pail was a waste of time, it still stunk, we ended up not using it after the refill pack we received ran out!

Great questoin. I managed to get my first son's crib at Babies R us (floor model) for half the price because they stopped carrying it. It was in great condition. they sold it to me for the price they bought it. For 300 from Bassett. I love it so much. I didn't like the rest of the pieces so I went to JCpenny's on line and found a simple changing table for 120 bucks. When it arrived it had a small flaw on the back and they credit me 50% off. It matches his crib perfect. As for the every day needs. There were certain things I really wanted as this was my first. I think the Bugaboo and all these over priced strolles are a TOTAL WASTE of money. I can't see spending 800 plus for a stupid stroller other then to match your outfit. Waste. The Graco travel system is wonderful and my son loved it. Easy to get around and 180 for the stroller and the carseat with the base. can't beat that. I spent a lot of time shopping items I liked and trying to find it for the cheapest price on line. Many baby stores on line will offer free shipping. I was all about the theme in my babies rooms. Decide what it is you really really want and go have it but then back off on other items by going broke. My friend can't believe i did my son's entire room for 800 and it looks like a show room/pottery barn kids (nautical theme) The biggest rip off is the baby stores. I have another friend that spent 3K on her daughters nursery. Its all really for you not them. They could careless. they just want to be loved. My big baby item i really wanted with my first son was these burberry shorts. I got them on ebay for $25 and he had them on for 4 months and his little brother is wearing them now. Good luck. If you haven't had a shower yet, ask for big ticket items that you don't really want to spend. Everyone will get you clothes and blankets. I put activiy play things. Swings, jumparros, high chair, pack and play etc. you can buy the bottles and booties yourself. You will be surprised what you get in the end. Also Every baby is different. My first son LOVED the jumparoo, My seocond was in it for a month and done. Hope this helps.

SAHM/Zombie 40 with 2 funny amazing little boys. 3.5yrs & 11 months walking at 7.5 months. Very busy.

my kid hated the thing that holds them up to sit, i can't remember what it's called.

a big, fancy high chair. she used hers for only a year and a smaller one (as in ikea) would've done just as well.

my daughter is 5 1/2 months and i must say that i wouldnt of made it this far without the "Gripe water" for her belly and the hylands teething tablets. I think that the mats they sell to help them on their tummy is waste of money because its the same as having them on the floor and most babies dont like them even though they tell you that you must get it. Good luck

I didn't read through all the responses, but for me, the biggest "must" is a really fantastic stroller. NOT one of those bulky travel systems (had a Graco travel system at first and HATED IT). For my second baby I paid extra and got a Bugaboo Frog - 4 years later I'm still using the heck out of that thing! Worth every penny!

Also LOVED the Medela pump, couldn't live without it. And an Exersaucer - both kids loved it. And, I know this sounds insane, but I had a bassinet that vibrated. I wouldn't have lived through the first couple weeks with each baby without that. It puts them right to sleep.

Finally, the "On Becoming Babywise" book by Gary Ezzo SAVED ME! I've recommended it to several friends and everyone has had great results, so I would recommend that very highly.

Best advice: Wait and see, borrow, and shop craigslist. You never know what your particular baby will take to, so if you are lucky enough to borrow from friends, you can actually try things out to see what works (i.e.sling vs ergo baby, strollers, sleep positioners, I could go on...) If it works, it is definitely worth buying, or in my case things ran their course before I had time to buy them.
Baby clothes are sooo cute- but we didn't go out so much when she was first born, and she LIVED in feetie jammies or a onesie, depending on the weather. So curb the infant clothes save for a couple of cute outfits for company/outings. Don't buy clothes under 3, or even 3-6 mo. if you can help it. She will likley get enough basics at showers or those things she *has* to buy. My first hated the swing, my 2nd liiiived in it. Breast pump, good- I had the medela. Hospital ones work sooo much better than anything else though so depending on if she wants to rent one/how long she plans to pump... THE STARMAT!! Both my girls looooved their baby einsteins 'starmat', an infant floor gym they may call it these days. They loved it as soon as they could move. I could go on, but you have a ton of advice already! HTH