If It Isn't Breaded, Fried or Ice Cream and in Front of the TV My Son Wont Eat.

I suggest that you start arranging his meal time the way you want it to be. Have him eat at home the way he's expected to eat at preschool. He won't starve. Sounds like right now he's "winning" in a power struggle.

At 2 he's testing to see what he can control. In reality he really only has control over what he puts in his mouth and how he ejects it. Perhaps giving him more choices in other areas of his life might help. As for eating, you can't force him to eat and it's not good to only give him his favorites. He does need to learn how to eat good food. So provide only reasonably good food.

I suggest that you give him one of the foods that he likes along with a small helping of the foods that the rest of the family is eating. Be very matter of fact about it. "This is what we are eating." When he's thru eating take the plate and food away. Remind him that there will be no eating until the next meal time or the next snack time. Three meals plus 2 snacks/day. Give him healthy food for his snack. He won't starve. He will eat when he's hungry.

The key to success is to let him know by word and deed that whether or not he eats is his decision. You provide the food and he decides whether or not he's going to eat it. He will eat once he realizes that you mean business. Put the food in front of him and then don't bug him. You can suggest that he eat or feed him but if he doesn't eat don't nag. You're letting him know that it's no big deal and it's his decision. Poof! There's nothing to fight about when you say, this is the way it is and then stop talking.

When he doesn't eat most of his lunch does anyone give him what he wants for a snack? IF so, stop them from doing it. He does need to be hungry before he'll eat anything other than his favorites.

Kids this age are famous for wacky eating habits. I finally decided not to play into it. The first thing you need to realize is that for a 2 year old, a few tablespoons is all they NEED to eat at any given meal. They can eat a very small amount and feel full. Realizing that, you also need to think about not making it a power struggle. Sometimes you're hungry, sometimes you're not. Your son feels the same way.

In our house, starting at this age I'd put the plate down on the table with about 2 teaspoons of veggie or fruit, 2 teaspoons of protein, 2 teaspoons of starch (all of this being whatever DH and I were eating, no "special" meals for the kids whatsoever). They'd get about an inch of liquid in the water cup, which I'd refill as necessary. And then let the child do whatever she would with it. (I mean, if she started shoving it up her nose, I'd stop her, but short of that, the kid got NO reaction from me.) Once lunch or dinner time was over, the plate went away until the next snack or meal time. Sometimes my kids would eat, sometimes they wouldn't. If they complained about the food or called it "gross" or dumped it on the floor - well, meal time was over for them until the next meal time. No heathens at my dinner table.

My girls are now 5 and 8, and they've become adventurous eaters. They will try new foods. They will eat a little of everything on their plates. In general, I feel like I can sit and eat dinner with them without nagging them. It takes a while, but it does work! Just give your son his plate and then totally ignore his food until you're ready for meal time to be over. No bribes, no threats, no commentary. Just leave him be. He'll eat what he needs to eat in order to survive. =)

.

Wow, sounds like you've got your hands full :)

I'd say the biggest thing is to turn the tv off. It's clearly become a real habit for him. He's going to hate losing it, but we all know that eating in front of the tv is not healthy as a child OR as an adult. I'd simply move his highchair to someplace away from the tv and be done with it.

Yes, he'll throw a fit, but at some point he's going to have to give it up, and I'd personally rather my kid throw the fit at home than out to dinner with family or friends.

As for the pickiness, just keep making a variety of foods. Offer him some of everything on the table. If he doesn't want it, he doesn't have to have it, but don't make a special meal for him different than the rest of the family. Make sure there's one thing he'll eat in the meal, and leave it at that.

I know you say he's thin, but thin or not, he will not starve to death (a fat kid can't make it any longer without food than a thin kid can anyway, unless you're actually talking about death :-P) Make sure he's got milk to drink and he'll come around.

This isn't about food, it's about control. It's time to bring it back to being about food.

HTH
T.

Step #1 - Turn off the TV. Get rid of it so it isn't even an option. You're not chopping off his leg; you're getting rid of a distraction and bribe. Out of sight, out of mind. Toss it now!

Step #2 - Offer healthy choices and give lots of options. It can take up to 15 times before someone develops a taste for a food, so keep trying.

Step #3 - Let him decide if he wants to eat or not. Doesn't want to eat? Fine. Save his plate for later on when he gets hungry or is ready to eat. He won't starve. He will eventually get hungry and want to eat - he will have to eat what you make available. Be matter of fact about this; when he asks for a snack or tells you he is hungry, take out the plate. No need to give a lengthy explanation, beg with him, plead with him, turn on the tv, let him bargain with you. He turns his nose up at it? Simply say "Okay, if you don't want this and you're not hungry I'll save it for when you are hungry." No negotiating for the junk food snack. He gets what you've given him.

Step #4 - Don't make fried food, french fries, ice cream, chocolate available for your child in the house. Don't buy it. Don't keep it around. Don't have it as an option. If it isn't there, they can't eat it.

You are the parent and at his age he is completely incapable of making healthy choices when it comes to eating and nutrition. Therefore it is YOUR job to be the parent and set the tone for meal time. He may be young but he is playing mama like a fiddle! He refuses food or doesn't get his cartoon and he behaves in a way that is garnering a big reaction from you - any attention is negative attention, especially if his antics will get him his way.

This won't be easy and it won't change over night but be consistent and he will soon go from expecting you to be his 'short-order junk food chef with tv entertainment' to 'here's my meal and if I'm hungry I'd better eat this'.

But more importantly, remember that you're the adult and you're responsible for helping develop good habits for your son - not letting him run the show.

Your son will not starve! My mom is a PA for the State Dept, and has had to disappoint more than one parent who came in wanting her to tell their child (as their physician!) that they must eat or will not grow up to be healthy and strong. She just asks the nurse to take the child out of the room, and explains to the parents that she can not tell their child that because it simply isn't true! As long as they eat the equivalent of one full, toddler serving sized, meal in a 3 day period, their nutritional needs will be met. A child this age's body will NOT ALLOW them to starve themselves, the mind is not stronger than the body in any way, shape or form at this age.

That being said, I'd take the videos away, offer meals at mealtime, set the example of eating your own healthy meal, and leave him alone about it. When he is hungry he will eat, don't make a battle out of it, food should NEVER be a battle, just offer the food and when mealtime is finished the offer of food disappears until the next mealtime, don't get into the trap of nagging or constantly reminding him he 'needs to eat', simply have the type of dinner conversation you like to have (also to set an example) and enjoy your meal!

Well, 1st of all, get the TV's out of anywhere he can see them. He doesn't need them. He's too young now, and most certainly was at 14 months old. My 21 month has no clue what it is except for music that I occasionally play around him. My older kids hardly EVER watch TV.
Now that I'm done with that. He'll eat. So, he may go a half a day, maybe even a day, but, he'll get hungry enough and eat the veggies and non-fried stuff, if that is all you offer him. He knows right now that you will give in. He's playing you. He wins. Don't let him win. Don't make the fried stuff. Grill some chicken. Offer that with some honey mustard or applesauce. Offer him some grapes or strawberries. Keep offering the good stuff. He's not going to starve if you don't give in, I promise. What will happen is he will learn good, healthy eating habits for a lifetime. You created this, I'm sorry to say, so you have to fix it.
Seriously though, get the TV's out of his view, that is way too young for him to be so obsessed, and a TV should NEVER be a tool to be used when it comes to feeding a toddler! Our TV is off during dinner, as well as phones are ignored.
Good luck!

It's going to be very loud for quite a while, but YOU need to turn the tv off, You need to get the junk food out of your house, You need to give him healthy choices, and if he doesn't it it, take it away when your meal is done. children, at 2, will not starve themselves. My daughter never got special meals. She ate what we eat. She is now 6, and still eats whatever I serve. The only thing I let her choose, is not to have spicy food. She doesn't eat artificial sweetners, soda, and sweet treats are very rare. Your son is running the show and will continue to do it until you don't let him. I'm a health educator, and you are setting him up for an early death and a life of obesity. I know that sounds harsh, but it is a reality. He will not wake up one day when he is 13 and say, "please pass the veggies". I would also limit tv altogether. My daughter learned early on that there is no tv during the week, and on weekends it is a special family movie night. She is an only child and has learned to play when she is bored.

You have to be strong because he will throw everything your way(attititude)to wear you and your husband down. It won't last forever because he will learn that it does'nt help to pitch a fit. Post the rules in words and pictures so he can see them all the time and know what is expected.

You can do it!! His life depends on it.

N.

Wow, you have a 28 month old child that drives to the store, does their own grocery shopping, prepares their own meals, and pays the cable bill?!? I need to get me on of those! Seriously this is such a ridiculous question when the answer is so obvious. Start acting like the mom here A.,that is what you are. You child is not going to starve or die because he doesn't watch cartoons or eat junk at every meal. If you don't change this behavior now I'll tell you what will happen--he'll be an overweight, unhappy adolescent who gets teased and has diabetes by the time he's 15. Sorry if my response is harsh, but I think you need a wake up call. Start parenting and stop letting your toddler run the roost.

Hi A.,

Well, you've got a couple of LONG weeks ahead of you while you help your son change his habits, but it will happen, and once you're on the other side, you'll be very glad you did!

Get yourself a copy of my favorite book on feeding kids: "Child of Mine" by Ellyn Satter. It will help you feel much more confident while you help your child to learn to eat healthy food without the videos.

Yes, you are in for several days (weeks, probably) of tantrums, but rest assured, your child will NOT starve himself, and as long as you are really consistent and do not turn the TV back on, or give into his tantrums, he'll settle down faster.

So. 1) Turn the videos off during mealtime
2) offer him a small variety of healthy foods that you think are appropriate for a child his age.
3) allow him to choose what, if anything he wants to eat.
4) if he loves one (or more) of the choices, let him eat as much of that particular food (or foods) as he wants at that meal.
5) (this is really important!) do not bribe or threaten or warn ("if you don't eat now, you'll be hungry", etc.) or in any way try to "get" him to eat. If he throws a fit you say "oh. I see you've decided that you're done with your meal. You may get down and play." Eating is HIS job, not yours.
6) Don't turn on the videos right after a meal.
7) Two or so hours later, repeat the above steps, giving him healthy choices. Vary the choices some, but do repeat some choices, and give him some new ones each time.
8) Take a deep breath and repeat: "It is my son's job to eat or not, as he chooses. I trust that my child will eat as much as he needs to stay healthy. It is not my job to convince him to eat. It is my job to help him learn to listen to his body and eat what he needs to satisfy his appetite. It is my job to give him healthy food choices. Whether, and how much, to eat is up to him."

It will take some time, but he'll get the hang of it. He does manage to eat something at school, right? He'll manage at home, though it won't be a pleasant couple of weeks for you. You'll survive, though! :-)

And get the book. It will help you feel much better!

Best of luck to you!
C.

WOW, your little Einstein is really in charge here! And what 28 month old is up to making good nutritional decisions? You need to get in the driver's seat immediately.

Start by hiding those DVDs. New rule, no cartoons during meals. Then place healthy, bit-sized pieces of food he likes (if bananas are your only option, bananas it is) on the tray in front of him. NO SPOON FEEDING! If he doesn't eat them in a reasonable time, like 15 mins, the meal is over. No food 'til the next meal time. I swear he will not starve to death. He'll get hungry and come around.

No snacks, no fried food in the lunch bag, no ice cream until this bad habit is broken. You need to re-train him, and now. You'll all be much happier.

http://askdrmama.com

Turn the tv off.
Feed him only what you are eating.
Nothing until the next meal time, or snack, two hours later.
He will not starve, if you offer him fruits and veggies and some bread he will eat something. I agree with the other moms it's time to step up and be the mom. He;s been running the show for too long.

I know you don't want to send him to bed with out eating, but I think a day or two of that and he'd eat. My nephew was the same way. I have practically raised my niece and nephews so I've had to do this several times, but H was the worst. I told him that he wasn't allowed to leave the table till he eats X amount of bites that I want him to eat. He sat there for a half an hour and then ate what I asked him to. Every time that I do this he will eat. Try it. Turn off the tv, take it away if you have to (if it's small enough) and tell him the rules in a simple way. You are in charge, not him. Take that power back.

You made a mistake, no big deal we all do. Now you have to fix it. Tell your son you have a new rule, "No TV during mealtime". Then stick to it. From now on keep his highchair in the dining room, NEVER move it, and NEVER allow the TV to be on.
Serve your son the healthy food that everyone else is eating. If he doesn't eat it, oh well. Don't offer him anything else. He's part of the family and doesn't get special treatment because he's picky, that will only encourage his pickiness.
Your son will not starve himself. If he doesn't eat for an entire day, but is drinking water than fine. The next day he'll eat. He'll be hungry. Once he learns that he's not going to get fed garbage if he refuses to eat healthy then he'll start eating again.
The biggest thing is to stick to it. Don't falter, even once or you will have a real fight on your hands. Your son is going to test you, he's going to scream, cry, throw things, refuse to eat, and anything else he can think of to get his way. The key is to not let him win. He's not in charge, you are.

If your husband is concerned about what's convenient for him, then put your son in time out in another room if he starts to throw a fit in the dining room. Talk to your husband ahead of time and tell him what you're doing. Tell him you need his support in this and you really want to have nice quiet family meals in the dining room from now on.
You can do it!

Who is in charge here? You or your son? Turn off the TV. If he doesn't eat too bad, if he doesn't eat too bad again. Eventually he'll eat. You make the rules. You gotta take back control or you are going to have bigger problems in the future!

Ok, well here's my $.02, you can take it or leave it. Your child will not starve to death - I promise. Sit him down once and explain to him that there is a new program going on and he's gonna get with it. Tell him there will be NO MORE TV during meals. Prepare ONLY healthy meals. You are the adult and have complete control over his diet. Then serve him what you want him to eat. The moment he begins to throw a fit over it or complain at all, wrap it up and put it in the fridge. Don't plead, prod or argue about it. Just calmly wrap it up. Next time he says he's hungry, pull the plate out, heat it up (as appropriate) and present the SAME FOOD again, repeat. Do this until the food is consumed. You may decide that for your own sake you put a limit on how many times you will present the same food like if he doesn't eat it within 24 hours, or if he doesn't eat today's food you will start with new food tomorrow morning but you make that decision.
I promise you a child will not starve themselves to death. Eventually he will eat what you give him.
Good luck!

My pediatrician recommended marinara sauce to hide veggies-- although I know from experience that tots (or at least mine) sometimes just suck the sauce and spit out the "not so hidden" veggie.
Try baking the chicken with bread crumbs maybe? It may take a few times for him to get used to it, but he may go for the alternative if the fried chicken is unavailable.
And I'd probably get rid of the ice cream in your house. Even fruit sorbets are a better alternative to ice cream, and I would still only serve that sparingly. Good luck!

Wow, picky eaters, that is such a common topic. Before you read this, please know that I am a Family Success Coach and you might not like what I have to say.

I will share with you what I know:
I know that if you know it is “bad for you” and you bring it into your house anyway, that is your choice.
I know that children learn what they live.
I know that children will model their parents EXACTLY, food habits, morals, exercise habits, etc.
I know that the children as young as 8 have been diagnosed with ADULT DISEASES that are attributed to their poor eating habits.
I know that this is the first time in history that our children have a shorter life expectancy than we do, because of disease and poor nutrition.
I know that most children get most of their fruits and veggies from fruit juice and French fries (which by the way are NOT the right way).
I know that you are the parent and YOU get to decide what your child eats. You decide what comes into the house, YOU decide what will be prepared and how AND YOU decide the healthy future (or not) of your family.
I know that food is not food any more, everything is processed, sprayed or modified.
I know that NOT all pizza, fries, cracker, noodles, rice, bread etc is bad.
I know that if you do not make the changes NOW, he may never.

My family eats very “clean” which means little to no preservatives, additives and a pesticides and herbicides with very little effort. It takes a bit of planning – menu planning and shopping ahead of time WHICH IS TOATLLY WORTH IT - but we make our own pizza (20 minutes from recipe to oven), we make our own bread (bread maker), we “PREPARE dinner” we don’t open a box and trust that some “multi billion dollar company” that packaged it had our best nutritional interests at heart.

We started with Isagenix to get us on the right path. (www.BestBreakfastEver.com). Now I teach families how to do the same. I made DECISION of health for my family…it took about a year for most of the transition; it did not come over night. But it was totally worth it. And here we are 4 years later and my children are still making better choices, THEY REFUSE to eat at fast food restaurants, THEY CHOOSE not to drink soda, THEY SAY NO to potato chips and other candy when playing with friends. I started it, I introduced it bit by bit, but THEY KEPT IT UP. It all started with the right breakfast. The right breakfast CHANGED EVERYTHING!

I have worked with over 500 families in the past few years and I can help you and your family if you want. All you have to do is ask. But if you came here to hear that you are right, that most kids are picky, that many kids don’t eat well, then I am not the right person for you. But if you are done “venting” about what is wrong and you are ready to “change” it, let me know.

You get to decide what is important. You get to be the parent. Be one. Take a stand for your family's health NOW and you and they will reap the benefits of your stand in the future.

B.
Family Success Coach

1. Turn off the TV
2. Offer him only healthy foods that he can feed himself then step back and do something else in the room while he eats, act like it doesn't matter to you if he eats or not.
4. When he's done and has not actually eaten anything, calmly explain there will be no other food until the next meal/snack and give him another few minutes to decide if he wants to eat more, then take it away.
3. Prepare for a tough week undoing what you have already done
He will not starve himself, he will eat whatever you put in front of him when he is hungry enough and realizes you are not going to give in. If you continue indulging him at 2 years old you will be in some really big trouble down the road!

Is this a joke?

If not --- um I dont' know what to say. Maybe try weaning him off of the cartoons? I got into the habit of every breakfast my son watches his fav show, but when breakfast is over or the show's over, tv gets turned off and he plays.

Sounds like this has totally gotten out of hand. You need to take serious hold of this now and my only thought is to make it a drastic one. Take the TV out of the house. Or unplug it and say that it's broken. LET him go one whole day not eating. He'll wake up hungry the next day.

BTW one food my son loves that I love to feed him is French Toast. I get the really good Ezekiel cinnamon raisin bread from the frozen section (good whole grains, great fiber) and soak it in Organic eggs with the good Omega 3s, splash of vanilla extract and cinnamon. Add syrup on top and he thinks it's a treat. :)

it's gonna be a bummer, but you just have to undo the bad habits, hard core and cold turkey...

1. put him in his high chair(AWAY from the tv)
2. give him the food that you are okay with him eating
3. sit down and eat YOUR food
4. when he is done, wipe his little hands and get him down

no drama, no fussing, no yelling, no screaming(from you anyways) - just b/c your chid is "thin", you don't have to give in to this - he will not starve to death in a week. he sounds like a little manipulator, so don't give in to him - he will get the program eventually. i am not a fan of "hiding" healthy foods in "yummy" foods, i am one that is trying(yes, trying - it's not always easy!) to teach my kids that veggies are good and fruits are good, not something that is a necessary evil.

good luck with your little boy.

I didn't read the other answers, just the one below mine. YEAH, DUH! Of course, just stop giving him the only thing you've found that he will eat. NICE!
Anyway, kids live! They don't always have the perfect diet but they manage to grow up. I am one of the lucky ones! My two boys eat veggies like they were candy, but their cousin will only eat bread. It's not because I am a good mom and my sister in law is a bad one! It's because kids are little people with their own personalities and taste. AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HUSBANDS!!! Yours sounds like mine. ;)
Keep trying new things. Yogurt, string cheese, Trader Joe's peanut butter filled pretzels, unsalted nuts (cashews, walnuts, almonds), Trader Joe's frozen shelled edamame (cooked with a little extra salt) and try things like going to a well stocked salad bar to "test drive foods you don't normally have at home.
Give him a multivitamin and keep trying. We all develop and change as time passes. He'll probably get through this phase. DON'T beat yourself up. Watching shows while they eat is what usually gets my kids to eat more and healthier (a little distraction from a mundane task).
It's frustrating, but it sounds like you're going through something VERY NORMAL! Hang in there, Mama, and just keep offering good stuff.

I am glad to see so many moms in agreement here. When I used to work at a health food store, we'd have moms all the time come in and claim "my son won't eat anything healthy, all he will eat is cheetos and pop tarts." Now that I have my own daughter I understand the stress, BUT two things are true. 1. your son is not stupid and will not just starve himself. He will eat! 2. Children at that young age WANT to be like their parents. My daughter is 2 and loves foods like spinach, leeks, kale...her favorite food is oatmeal and yogurt. No matter what we are eating, she wants what we have. I make a big deal of NEVER EVER saying "this is yucky!" in front of her. The most horrible eaters I have seen have had horrible eaters as parents.
best of luck to you.

PS Dont bother to hide anything, that only puts a bandaid on the problem..you need to make him a healthy, well rounded eater.

No I am not saying your son has autism but there is a great site to go to for families of autism and one of the biggest things they have to work with on their kids is food, behaviors and such. Check out the Picky Kid section and your son will not starve but YOU do need to nip this in the bud NOW or it will get worse. Read what has worked for others with children that cannot communicate:o)

http://gfcf-diet.talkaboutcuringautism.org/index.htm

You say that your son is thin. Does he have a distended belly? How are the bowel movements? It could also be that he is addicted to the food that you are feeding him. Are these breaded and fried foods that you make or from a fast food place/frozen? Very high probability that there is MSG in it (hidden in the 'natural flavors" section or yeast ingredients) or he is addicted to the gluten as with kids with a 'leaky gut' gluten converts to an opiate in the brain - so when someone is feeding their child something with wheat it is like giving an addict their drug. So check out the website, look at the change of diet section and the Picky Kid section. It has worked for THOUSANDS of kids. :o)

Good luck. Its not fun in the beginning but you will be rewarded and so will he:o)

If you want to retrain his eating, I recommend joining the yahoogroup foodlab. There are a lot of wise mamas there who have dealt with ALL kinds of eating issues. It may be something that you haven't thought of, and they will help you come up with a plan to address the eating.

(also one who doesn't find the kid-friendly food friendly to my kid)
L.

you just have to kind of play hard ball with him. hes going to push you and throw fits. my daughter got used to eating with the tv on and then one day she wasnt being good and i tuned it off when she ate and it never went back on. the first couple days were hard and she was upset but i stood my ground. i would give her 30 mins to eat (more then enough time for her) if she didnt eat i had her throw her food away and she got nothing but water till the next meal.

maybe set a variety of foods out for him at home ( 2 chicken nuggets, peas, green beans, carrots, apple slices, part of a banana, and some water (or whatever you give him to drink)) and tell him that he has to eat whats on his plate to get out of his high chair (or seat) and we arent going to have the tv on. dont overload the food on him but give him enough to eat and be full. it will take time but im sure he will follow trough and if he refuses to eat then try again next meal. kids will eat when they are hungry they will not let themselves starve.

It is going to be really hard and painful, but given how bad the situation is now, I think you have to remove the DVDs completely (none at all, all day), and only feed him healthy foods. It will almost certainly be a rough transition, but I don't think anything else will work but to cut him off cold-turkey. He'll probably go hungry (frustrating & scary for you) for a while, but you can offer him Pediasure or similar for his drinks at mealtimes to help with the nutritional deficits during the transition. Be sure not to offer the drink(s) first, since he'll fill up on those instead of the real food.

Involve him in helping with cooking, if you can. Simple stuff, like stirring the pot or helping get stuff out of the freezer or pantry or fridge, measuring the water or other ingredients, etc.

Be strong mama! Now is the time to fix this mistake. If you wait longer, these habits will be lifelong and can contribute to overeating, diabetes, high cholestrol/heart disease and other health problems.

Sometimes it is so hard not to take the path of least resistance, but this is not one of those times you should. Unfortunately, in this case, the path of least resistance (or, really, giving in) got you to this point....

You can do this! Do this for him, and for you--by working through this now, you can set up mealtimes as times to reconnect, instead of disconnect.

Hi A.,

Sounds like you and your son are in the "power struggle." Children like to enjoy independence one way to do that is to control a certain aspect of their environment, eating and pooping are the easiest places to figure that out. Thus the common struggle between parents with their childrens' eating and potty training habits.

That said, my brother who is 10 years younger than I, was the pickiest eater. We used to call him President of the PEOA, Picky Eaters of America! When we were adults I asked him why he was so stubborn with eating and he said, "because I knew my favorite foods would always show up and I didn't have to go through being uncomfortable trying new things." His only fruit, pineapple, his only vegetables, corn and carrots. He did like meat though! He ate so little at school he was sent with very little. He ate healthy breakfasts and dinners. Today he is 37 and is 6'4".

Good luck,
Wendy

Hi A.. I understand you've inadvertently taught him Disney=food. Well, I see all your answers, but one thing I know about having one. (Having one is very easy to spoil them) When your child is hungry enough, he will eat regardless of what it is. Even though he's small like you say, if any of you out there are of age (aging lol) then you know, children WILL eat when they are hungry. Best wishes. -K.

He will eat when he is hungry and he can only eat what you provide...take away the dvds during meal times, in fact limit viewing to only a set amount of time a day or a certain time a day...offer him what you want him to eat, a variety of foods so he will not go hungry...kids will eat when they are hungry. The Earlier you do this the better...you are letting the tail wag the dog as the saying goes...you are the parent, you need to dictate the rules...as my hubby says...we do not negotiate with terrorists = ) I love my children, I have one picky eater, I mistakenly thought this was something she would out grow, well at almost age ten she is still unbelievably picky! We educate her as to why we need to make certain food choices over others and offer her a variety of healthy foods...she is neither over weight, nor going hungry I assure you = )

HI A.,
it sounds like you already realize that the whole Tv thing was a mistake. I say you make a new house rule... No TV during meal times. There are all kinds of things wrong on many levels with allowing tv watching while eating, so better to end that habit now. Maybe tell him if he eats a certain amount of his meal (determined by you) that he will get to watch "x' number of minutes of a show *after* the meal. If he refuses then redirect to another activity that you can do together and try a meal or healthy snack later. Setting the boundaries clearly leaves no room to engage in tantrums or arguing about it... it's a if/ then situation and he knows his choices. If he doesn't want to eat with or without Tv you say ok then, let's go outside or let's play playdough (or whatever other kind of creative, non TV activity) instead. This will give you positive and quality interaction with him and you won't be engaging in a power struggle over making him eat.

It sounds like at 14 months he was so distracted with TV that he didn't really taste what you were spooning into his mouth. Or maybe his taste has changed and he no longer likes the same foods. Either way, you have to keep on trying the healthy stuff and eventually, when there aren't choices for something better, he'll begin to try and eat the variety of foods that you feed him. I refuse to cook a whole separate meal for my kids when they go through their picky stages... yet I also realize that there are some things that they just really don't like. I won't make my daughter eat corn because she doesn't like it. She never has. She doesn't like canned, creamed, cobbed none... she's tried it though. That's the rule in our house... you have to try it. If you don't like it after you try it you don't have to eat it... then every now and then I'll go back to that new food and have them try to at another meal. Sometimes they still don't like it... sometimes they love it.

Don't give in with the TV and don't cave and bribe him to eat good foods. This only sets you up for problems down the road in this and other areas. Thin or not, your little guy will not waste away. He'll eat when he's hungry. Just remember to give him enough variety and keep trying. Try to "make" things with food... my husband makes out kids Mr. Nachohead, which is basically a face made out of chips or tortillas, avocado, lettuce, salsa, cheese, sour cream and olives. They love it.

Good luck and hang in there...
J.

Hi there,

I know you got a lot of responses but I wanted to tell you to not beat yourself up or let others make you feel bad that you are a "softie". I, like you used to make babyfood, organic or from the farmer's market for my son. I had fantasies of him eating a healthy diet with no pre-made junk. Sometimes kids have other ideas! Every child is different. Some are better eaters and some are more independant than others. Some can go longer being hungry and others eat until they are just full.

I feel bad that my son only eats in front of the tv (unless its chips or something else he really loves). I really don't like it when parents say hide all the food that is "bad" and keep offering the healthy stuff because they will eventually come around. Not always true!! I find that if if becomes a battle of wills with my son, I may at some point win the battle but I lose in the long run. He becomes less trustful, sometimes dislikes that food later on if I try sneaking a more healthful version (make him eat turkey hotdog instead of the beef...both were organic and nitrite free but he did not like the turkey, now he wont eat any hot dogs), and he may even get to the point of extreme irritability and crying because he is hungry and holding out because he is 2 1/2 and wants to be his own man. Also, my son has some mild sensory issues that complicate the matter. He is wary of many new experiences. My advice to you would be have those healthy food out within his reach at all times (I keep bananas out where he can see them so he can ask for them himself) and offer him a bite of whatever you are eating. My son likes pizza, hot pretzels, chips, fruit snacks, rye bread (PLAIN, everything plain), apples and bananas, oatmeal, yogurt, applesauce, and smoked meats. If you have to give him chips in his lunch then do it. Of course, no candy. At least chips have some basic nutrition. If he says no to a food then offer it again a little later and if he still says no then respect that. I know its really frustrating and seriously, you said your son is skinny....what are people talking about obesity??? Obesity is a very complicated disorder that is rooted in lack of exercise, an excessive diet of highly caloric large portions, sugary drinks, and I believe mild to moderate mental disorders like depression. Good luck!!

well i only have a little tip that could help..well 2 actually..i take my son to the farmer's market..and there they like to hand out samples..for some reason he just loves to sample things..i can get him to eat all kinds of things there..and sometimes i buy it for him and he'll eat it at home..sometimes i buy it and he won't eat it at home..also Trader Joe's..they have a little sample booth..i always take him by there ...like tonight he tried cous cous and avocado hummus..
Try spinach linguini..with clear clam sauce on it..first show your son how to slurp it up..they think its fun..my friend's daughter is super picky..won't eat anything..she saw me do that and just had to have it..
my son also loves that..he will eat gnocchi pasta b/c i call it Pinocchio sketti..
He will also eat if i call him the mountain man..we hike a lot..so i will say.."come on..how can you be a mountain man if you don't eat?" but then again he's 4..so he knows what that is..basically you have to use your imagination..
it can be frustrating..my son also will bring home his whole lunch box untouched...but i know they give snacks at school.
If my son had to watch cartoons..i would pick ones that have to do with eating..
and then i'd ask him if he'd want to eat what the cartoon people are eating..
i also have him help me make things..i have him pick fruit at the farmer's market..
i just wouldn't serve up fried food anymore..go for sauces on things..like mushroom soup over veggies..

ok i think that's all i can think of..good luck.

xo

D.

Provide him healthy food options, make sure they are still flavored and tasty. No more ice cream, chocolate, fried foods, be sure your family models this good behavior as well. When he is hungry, he will eat. Turn off the tv. He will throw a fit, but will get used to it once he realizes that is the way it is going to be.

Since my daughter was about two she would have to eat the number of bites of everything that matched her age. So when she was 2 it was 2, even now she has to eat 8 good sized bites of a vegetable she doesn't like or something that is given to her to balance out her meals. If she doesn't eat, we save the food for her and she has to eat that if she's hungry later. This hasn't happened in a long time and when it did, it wasn,t often. There have been a few times she hasn't eaten much and guess what? She hasn't wasted away or died of starvation. She also is starting to like more and more foods. I saw Dr. Oz explain that children have a lot more taste buds than adults. This served our ancestors well so they didn't get poisoned as nomadic people traveling accross areas with different vegetation and things to eat. You will have a battle but you do need to change things. Stick to your guns and know it will be HARD but in the long run so much better.

Cut out the tv and ice cream and start letting him eat on his own. Give him some healthy choices, set a good example and don't keep the junk around. Don't try to force him to finish anything. If he is eating only peas and bananas that's ok. Keep offering other things. Unless he has a serious problem (as the pathologist pointed out below) then he will learn to eat other stuff eventually. That is if you dont cater to him eating ice cream in front of the tv every night. It sounds like you have simply created some bad habits here, which can be undone. Of course you should always talk to a pediatrician of you are worried about an underlying problem.

You've gotten some great advice but I wanted to add what has worked for us with a picky 2 year old (what 2 year old isn't picky!). One is that I found that they go through phases and not to make a big deal out of them. My son used to eat oatmeal EVERY morning for breakfast now he wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole. I just give him some other options. Also, give him some options but you control what they are. I give options for breakfast (healthy options) and options for lunch but I do not give options for dinner (at least not for the main course). The thing I've learned at that age is that my son will usually either eat a decent amount for lunch OR dinner but not usually both. He's getting plenty of food that way, I'm sure, I don't stress about the meal that isn't eaten, my son never eats his lunch that is sent to preschool, I think its just too fun and distracting. I just offer him a healthy snack later and a healthy dinner.
A few other things that have worked for us-- let your son help you pick out food (farmer's market is GREAT for this, my son LOVES the samples and then I let him pick out what we buy), let him help you prepare the food, and find healthier alternatives for the things he likes. I make a baked, breaded chicken nugget that my son LOVES (and you can even freeze and reheat them). We also make home made pizza which is a really fun thing to do together and he loves it (and its SO much healthier). Also, I've found that toddler love to dip anything/everything. Buy some ketchup that doesn't have high fructose corn syrup and get some low fat ranch dressing. Those dress up anything. My son loves carrots and broccoli dipped in ranch. He loves to dip his pasta in the marinara vs just having it on top already. Get creative. But mostly, get that junk out. It may be a battle now at 2 but it is one worth fighting so he doesn't end up fighting obesity and poor health later in life.
Oh and you are his best example. My son is SO interested as to what's on my plate. I make a big deal out of the delicious veggies I'm eating and encourage him to eat his, but I don't battle it. I do balance his plate with things I want him to try or trying things I know he doesn't like again (and again and again) with things I know he'll eat. Like I'll choose a side I think he'll like or a fruit he'll like, that way at least something on the plate gets him to eat a little.

I second the commenter who suggested Ellyn Satter - I'm currently reading "Helping without Harming". I am a dietitian myself and have learned a lot about feeding my almost 2 year old son... who LOVES to eat in front of the t.v. It takes a lot of discipline on your part but you can change it. Can't promise you that he'll start eating veggies (we're still working on that) but at the very least you can start by getting him to the table to eat a family meal - even if it means enjoying chicken nuggets and french fries. Not having battles over food is extremely important in his development.

Satter says, "It's your responsibility to provide food, it's their responsibility to eat it."

Good luck!

My son was/is very high energy and at that age it did help to have him watch a movie while he ate. He would calm down and sit there long enough to eat something. But we did not do it all the time. He outgrew that and now at 6 he sits just fine with us during dinner. He is also a picky eater, but I try not to cater to him too much. I would give him small amounts of foods we are eating and a small amount of something he likes to eat. He would eat his favorite food first and ask for more. I would tell him once he eats a little of his other foods he can have seconds. It really helped get him to eat other foods. Don't give in to temper tantrums bc they will happen!

I only read a few comments below- some broke my heart and others made me very joyful. I am a FEEDING THERAPIST & SPEECH LANGUAGE PATHOLOGIST specializing in feeding disorders. I DO see kids starve themselves and have to get G-tubes in their stomachs because mealtimes have become such a struggle that they don't trust their primary feeder and they refuse to eat. I don't want to frighten you or anyone else who reads this. But 4-6% of the pediatric population do starve themselves. What you need to do first is arm yourself with accurate information. Ellen Satters books are a great start, or seeing a feeding therapist to rule out your child having: a feeding disorder, a swallowing disorder, an oral motor disorder, neophobia, a developmental disorder or a sensory integration disorder and get educated on environmental factors that you can do to encourage your little guy to learn about foods and eat.
Also, I am not a fan of hiding foods, because we are not building a relationship with foods. We win the battle today by getting in that veggie via hiding them, but the child does not have a relationship with that veggie and wont eat it later in life. I see children as well as adults. I have an 18 year old, a 22 year old and a 43 year old I work with who still only eat 5-7 foods!!!!! Their parents snuck in foods and they are now learning about foods and trying new ones, which is extremely hard to do now that they have had so many years of food habits. I hope you reach out to the feeding community for solid advice! Good luck! You can do it!!
D. W., MS, CCC-SLP
Feeding Therapist
Speech Language Pathologist
www.SpectrumSpeech.com

Stop giving him breaded, fried foods and ice cream. He can't eat junk if you don't give it to him, and he won't die from starvation. He'll eat when he's hungry. Will he eat almond butter and organic strawberry spread (Trader Joe's)? That's a staple for my picky 5-year-old. Try ketchup on scrambled eggs, make some oatmeal pancakes (can double as sandwich "bread"), make some tiny (because it's fun to eat in miniature) hamburgers with grass-fed beef, organic cheddar, and ketchup. There's a ton of stuff you can try. Decorate pancakes with fruit and yogurt to look like faces. Whip up a pumpkin smoothie that tastes like pumpkin pie (canned pumpkin, organic milk or almond milk, raw honey, pumpkin pie spice, ginger, cinnamon, maybe some nutmeg). Make a mango lassi (vanilla yogurt, or plain yogurt sweetened with honey, mixed with mango pulp and ice). Just please stop giving him the fried junk. He eats it because he's allowed to and it's given to him. He's not going to take himself through a drive-thru or fry up his own chicken. Take control. Really, he won't starve.

my kids watched the baby einstien dvds, and they were very good for them. we limit tv and what kind of tv and that goes for all electronics.
dont give baby what he wants just because its easier, especially if you dont think it is good for him! we had to do the same thing with a few things, its not easy figuring these things out and not everyone explains it to you.
be strong!
i know you can do it. if you need support drop me a message.
♥

You are in a tough spot and so is your child. When we turn on the tv in order to get food into a child they learn the habit of tuning out to eat. Unfortunately this pattern can follow us into adulthood and lead to obesity and also creating a habit of eating unconsciously. iT's challenging and I wish you the best. TV shouldn't be part of meal time, but when it comes to the food, you may have to compromise. I make a baked chicken pieces that is more healthy than fried
dip chicken pices in egg, then in instant mashed potatoe mixture
put in oven at 350 for 30 mins or until the flakes are browned.
I would try not to make a big deal of the switch but I would lighten up on the portoin of chicken so that he can at least be hungry enough for a veggie. I don't know. Tough but I hope you guys can change the tv habit so that he doesn't go into that later in life. Best of luck

You NEED to take away the DVDs. You cannot give into his demands. At this age they will manipulate you by making all sorts of faces and of course the crying doesn't help. Anything you don't want to feed him (i.e. fried foods) need to leave the house. IF you have anything visible he will want it. Give him the food that you make for the rest of the family. Put a small amount on his plate and continue with your own dinner. If he's really hungry he'll eat it. If he doesn't you finish the dinner and take his plate away BUT make sure you let him know that he does not get to eat anything until the next meal time therefore he'll be hungry.
ALSO, I've always involved my children in preparing the meal and setting the table. My older one is 4 years and 4 months old and the younger is 2 years and 7 months old. They have both been setting the table since they turned 2. They have also been helping put things in the pot or wash the veggies for me in the kitchen sink while we prepare the meal together since that age.
I have learned that the more you involve the child in the process the more likely they are to be excited or willing to try the food. Now, it might take a while before your son actually gets used to eating anything other that what you've given him BUT HE WILL GET THERE. The main things is that YOU keep your goals straight and let him understand that he can't push your buttons. Let him mix things in his own little bowl next to you. Have him get his hands dirty. Have lots of fun in the kitchen as mother and son and take the computer and DVDs out of there or at least disguise the computer with a cover if you cannot move it.
I know, I rambled a lot but I hope at least some of it helps you. Let us know how things are going. Good Luck my dear!

I'm sorry you don't feel like you will have the support of your husband in making a major change to develop your child's healthy eating habits. That is really hard. But you know what, do it anyway. I'd suggest having a little sit down with your husband about the mistakes you've made, your serious concern now and need for change. Tell him you're taking away the DVDs at meal times, period. And you would appreciate you both being a united front on this. If he isn't willing to go through the initial tantrums, crying, and screaming, tell him he can go off and eat his dinner someplace else in peace. Although you'd appreciate his support, you will handle it if he isn't up to it. Let him decide.

You've been given great advice on just putting the food in front of him, and letting him eat it or not. Not is fine too, eventually, he will eat. Don't bribe, beg or make a big deal out of it at all. Keep your attitude matter of fact.

One trick that works for my picky eaters is to put a lot of foods on their plate or on the table, and make sure a few of them are ones you know are ones they like. For instance, I'll cut up some strawberries, and put a few pretzel twists out, and seeing those things gets them in a good enough mood to sit down peacefully when the main course is something I know is not going to be embraced like a chicken nugget.

My mom always says it's how we start out that dictates the end result. Perhaps you should model the routine in school. That could help with consistency and expectations for you both.

Wow, I thought that was me who wrote this post. My son is a few months older than your own and he is the same way, I am now thinking of pureeing veggies and hiding into food, like adding it in the breading of chicken strips that I make myself. I heard that the book by Jessica Seinfeld is good, it has tips on how to hide veggies in food and there's another book called something like Sneaky Chef, if your son is anything like mine, it's easier to feed the veggies by hiding it in the food rather than making him eat it. As for the TV while eating, I am still struggling to find how to make him eat w/o TV bec. he is very high energy. Occasionally, I am able to read a book to him while "helping him" eat his food. I've heard so many people say, "he'll eat when he's hungry" but I know so many kids including mine who would really lose tons of weight if feeding intervention was not done. Hang in there and hopefully it's just a phase but not to discourage you or anything, I know many moms with 5, 6, 7, 8 9 yr old who have sons who still are the same way with eating. I thought my son was the only one like this until we spent time with his cousins who were all older than him, they ate less than 1/4 of what my son ate so that says alot (during our vacation at their house). They are all skinny kids and they are just not into food more into activity. I hope it gets better.