I Year Old Still Not Sleeping Throught the Night ...HELP!

Hi C. - you seem to have gotten lots of good advice regarding weaning from the late night feeding. One other suggestion, 9:00pm seems a bit late for a 1 year old bedtime. I wonder if putting her to bed earlier might also help her to sleep for a longer stretch before waking - maybe 6:30pm or 7:00pm. Good luck!

I know what you are going through! Try giving her some cereal to feel her up so she won't be so hungery when she wakes up. Also try a warm bath to help her wind down from the day. Good Luck..

Feed her cereal at bedtime. Cut back on bottles all together
but especially after you brush her teeth at night. Let her eat cereal and drink from a cup, then brush her teeth and put her to bed. It may take two or three nights of not getting up to make a bottle but you need to try it. She will keep you on schedule otherwise.

Actually, it's pretty normal for a baby to still be waking at the night during that age, so, don't get discouraged - in the long run, it's such a short time. My daughter is 11mnths, and she still wakes 4-5 times a night to nurse. A lot of night wakings in kids has a lot to do with their parents being away during the day - they will try to reconnect at night - which I can relate - this goes for stay-at-home mom's with busy schedules too, not just kids that are physically away from their parents. My daughter slept 9-10hrs a night until she was 3mnths old - when I had to go back to work - she instantly started waking up during the night 2-3 times and has actually increased her night wakings since.
I can understand that your husband would need more sleep, but, waking up in the night is hard work, and, whether you're taking classes or working - you still need sleep, so, I think night waking should be shared between the both - especially if you don't have to be the one to wake up because of nursing. Parenting is a joint "job" and sleep deprivation does a lot more than just make you tired during the day - it affects you psychologically (as you know), and really affects your health! My suggestion is to talk to your husband about the importance of you getting help with at least one of the night wakings - for at least a few days out of the week. If he takes the early one, that gives you time to rest up for the morning wake-up, and him a stretch of time to rest up before work.
If my daughter wakes up and doesn't want to nurse - like if she's sick, teething, or just not sleeping well - my husband and I will take turns getting her to go back to sleep (we don't use cry-it-out methods, nor would I recommend it). Just remember that it will pass in time, but you need help during the nights just as much as during the day (and especially at night if you're the one with her during the day anyway).

I totally understand what you're going through. When my now-6-year-old was 7 months, he started going from waking up one time a night to two, plus he was consistently waking up, ready for the day, at 5 or 5:30 am. Finally, one night I set my alarm for 6 am, closed all the doors between his room and ours, and had the first good night's sleep I'd had in months. When the alarm woke me up at 6, I ran into his room. He had just woken up and was smiling! It worked like a charm - he slept through the night every night afterwards. If you're afraid that your older boys will wake up if she's crying a lot, ask friends or family to have the boys over for a sleep-over. Good luck!

You are just going to have to cut your child off from the bottle at night. Maybe cut out one at first and then the second after she gets used to not having the first. Be strong and this habit will end. Try to comfort your child in other ways. I wouldn't pick her up just pat her back and talk to her. You may have to let her cry a little. Sorry you are not sleeping.

You should try comforting her briefly but not feeding her. Lay her down, cover her up and pat her back for a minute. Let her know you're there but that she is fine and should go back to sleep. Her tummy might take a few nights to adjust but it will. It might also help if she got more physical and mental stimulation during the day. If she's exhausted she'll sleep deeper. It might also help to put her to bed an hour earlier. As strange as is sounds it will help her sleep deeper and longer into the morning. She needs to be getting 12 hours of sleep at night and a two hour afternoon nap. Now she's only getting 9 or so at night. It's time to adjust to a more toddler like schedule.

Hi C.,

Have you tried mixing an infant cereal with her milk? You'd need to get a nipple that has a larger hole. Or just feed her a thick mixture of cereal right before bedtime. Her belly will be full and she won't digest it as fast.

I would also try bathing her in infant lavender bath right before her last feeding.

It also sounds that perhaps she's not burning enough physical and mental energy during the afternoon. If she's sitting in a swing, bouncer or play pen then she's not getting much needed exercise.

You know yourself when your mind and body works hard during the day it rests better at night... at least you did before your daughter was born. :) Think of ways that you can get her active before that calm bath time.

What ever, if any or all, it sounds as though your routine needs to change. If I were you I would start out gradually with the food and bath time with limited physical activity and increase until she is the happiest and that will most assuredly lead you and the rest of your family happy as well!
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Edited after the fact: Along with most of the other posters I must add that bottle feeding isn't the best idea during the night. However I would not recommend changing everything at once. You'd only confuse your daughter. Your ultimate goal should be to wean her from the bottle altogether. Sippy cups with water is a great idea, however eventually that will need to be dealt with as well. You're going to have to set a goal. Are you going to allow food/drink in bedrooms? If not, set a goal ... at what age will the water cup be discouraged. It's not too early to be thinking ahead. If you never give a water cup for the child to self soothe you won't have to discourage that behavior in the future. Getting up for 3 minutes once a night is easier than feeding several times during the night. I also want to mention that once her new routine is established then don't expect yours to fall right into place. You're going to need new goals as well. You're sleep cycle has made havoc with you... you're going to need to work on that too.

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Don't forget... babies, toddlers and all children thrive on consistency.

Sweet Dreams!
B. Mazurowski
http://edusmiles.webs.com/

She is probably expecting those bottles in the middle of the night out of habit, not hunger. I would suggest offering her water or nothing at all - maybe go into her room with the water the first few times she wakes up and hold her and offer her the bottle. Then taper off a bit - still go into her room but don't bring the water and don't pick her up. Soothe her a little but don't give her too much attention, just tell her it's time for bed. After a few nights, try laying her back down without picking her up and do not talk or engage her at all. Soon after that, I would suggest letting her soothe herself back to sleep without going to her at all. It may take a little bit of "crying it out" (be strong!) but she certainly old enough to do this on her own. Shy may even take to it much easier than you think she will. You just have to be very consistent with how YOU respond to her - if she knows you'll cave after 30 minutes of crying, she will be sure to cry that long every night!
Good luck!
M.
www.nomommybrain.com

How much food does your daughter eat? It sounds like her bottle is not enough to keep her full. She obviously needs more than 8 oz of milk. Try a bowl of oatmeal before bedtime or something else that is very filling. Then if she wakes up, it's habit. You will have to break the habit. Go check on her, tell her it's time to sleep, cover her up and leave. She'll fuss but she'll learn how to sleep through the night.

Good luck. I'm the mom of a 26 yr old son, who was a premmie. We always worried about him gaining weight and drinking enough. He is disabled, but happy and healthy now.

You're not alone. I have a 17 month old daughter that is still not sleeping despite many different approaches to get her to do so. I've tried everything and nothing seems to work. Sometimes she will only get up once but most nights it's twice. She started teething at 3 months then she had frequent ear infections. She had tubes put in and now she's teething again. I just keep telling myself that this phase will be over soon and I'll get my sanity and full night sleep when the phase is over. I have a sound machine and humidifier. I've tried just letting her cry but that can go on for hours...It helps to feed her again right before she goes to sleep. Hopefully your daughters phase will end soon so you can get some rest.

It is going to be a tough habit to break and she will not be happy- but the point here is that it is just that a HABIT- she does not have the need for nutrition during the night at this age. You can try a few things- cold turkey- be prepared for lots of crying- another thing that you can try is decreasing the amount of the bottle try 5 oz tonight, 3 oz in a few days and 1 oz a few days later... maybe this will ease her out of the habit without making you both crazy. The bottom line is that she has no reason to stop this habit so you need to be the one to break it and be prepared for a battle- but it will be worth it in the long run. Another thing- while you are making this transition- make sure she is not teething and if she is give her motrin before she goes to bed.

I have a one year old who has only recently started sleepind through the night. A key for us was feeding a large dinner as part of a routine. My son eats dinner around 630-7 and he always eats food with a protein. Often I add ground chickpeas or lentils if I am using jarred food or I make my own with frozen mixed veggies. After dinner we do a lavender bath with the johnsons bedtime bath. Then storytime and bed. Also it is important to wean her slowly b/c she does need that nourishment you just want her eating during the day. So start by waking her 20 minutes before she wakes on her own. I know it is hard but get up at 12:10 and 4:10. This is important so she gets out of the habit of waking herself up. Also start making a 6 oz bottle instead of 7 oz for 2 days then 5 oz for 2 days etc. Make sure she is eating increasingly more in the day time to make up for it. This all might take a few weeks but it should work. Good luck also remember this is temporary but the psychological damage from "crying it out" can last a lifetime. I loved the book the no cry sleep solution.

Sounds to me like she is used to getting up and needs to break the habit. Of my 4 children 2 didn't sleep the whole night until they were at least a year old so I understand how you are feeling.
I am not one to cry it out. I find it to be cruel. Letting your child cry when they need you and don't understand why you are suddenly not there for them is terrible! Sleeping through the night is a milestone in a childs development. It is a skill that can be taught gently and without too many tears and certainly without letting her scream for you.
The first thing I would do is get a copy of the book no cry sleep solution for toddlers and preschoolers.
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071444912.php

I know it's hard to be up with a baby especially when you have other children and a husband counting on you. This book should help deal with the issues. It's not a quick fix but with a bit of time and a strong commitment you will all be getting the rest you need.
Good luck to you.

Hi C.,
Some babies are more schedule-oriented than others, and it's harder for them to break it to move on. My son was that way. So we had to initiate each new schedule, and establish it for a few days before he was 'cemented in' again. We started with taking away one feeding at a time. (She'll take in what she needs, and since her body knows milk is coming in 3.5 hours, she only drinks 7 oz, which isn't much at one year old.) Does she take a pacifier? We would be on hand just before Zac usually woke up at that first feeding, and give him a paci before he really woke up, hold it in (because he knew at first that it wasn't milk) until he settled back into sleep. It took about 4 nights to establish this new feeding schedule for him. But right away, he would drink more before and after the missing feeding. After those 4 nights, he wouldn't even wake up at the 3-4 hour mark. Remember, 3-4 days will establish a new schedule most of the time. Then, I would give her a couple of months anyway to get use to the new schedule, before taking away another feeding, so her metabolism has one firm stepping stone to go to at a time. A baby who's personality loves a schedule can be such a blessing, but that personality often needs the parent to initiate and establish changes when necessary and appropriate. I hope your nights are restful two months from now! J.

I have had 3 children also and the youngest now 11 1/2 months old would not sleep longer than 3-4 hours until I purchased sleep sense from Dana Oberman-sp?. The down side is that you" sleep train" you child and the first 3 nights she recommends you sit in a chair beside your child's bed. If you are in school you will might have a really rough week of sleep training. She is a stickler on routines and feels you must go through 25-35 minute of bedtime prep every night with includes a bath. When our power was out for 2 weeks due to the ice storm we had to continue this bedtime ritual in a large cooking pot lol! I can testify that it works and my child sleeps 11-12 hours a night plus 2 naps. It was a life saver for me and I highly recommend you take a look at her website. Feel free to personally email me for more info if you are interested.

It will be painful, and take a week to 2 weeks. I was bf my dd till she was 18 mo, and was just like you and your dd. So, you go in ay 12:30 and pat her, and let her cry herself to sleep. This may be a week. The more you don't give in, the shorter it becomes. Finally, she sleeps, and you finally feel like a normal person. Good luck. A 12 mo old does not need to eat through the night.

she shouldnt be hungry that often, talk to her doctor something doesnt sound right. is she eating any solids?

I had the same problem with my oldest child. She would wake every night for a bottle. The doctor told me to put water in the bottle and after a few nights she won't want to wake up for water and I did. The first night she was surprised there was water in her bottle and only drank a few drops and then a couple more nights she just didn't even wake up at all because the water wasn't worth it. Just make sure she gets enough to eat before bed. We always gave a bed time snack -- instant grits, oatmeal, cottage cheese, yogurt, something on her stomach before bed and to help her sleep longer. If she is one, then she can try all those things. Just make your grits and oatmeal a little more soupy than normal. We also started giving a sippy cup with water in it and they would take it in their crib at night. That way if they woke up in the middle of the night and needed to quench their thirst, they could and I remember hearing that cup suction many times. My kids took sippy cups to bed until they were 5 or 6 years old. Good Luck!

I have i 5 yr old when she was like that i would give her a warm bath with that bed time body wash was and lotion , and would let her set until she would fall a sleep and she would sleep all nite . u can get it at walmart

My older child did this, too, and here is how I stopped (he was about 10 m/o at the time). I had thought he must "need" to be nursing since he kept waking up to nurse; but then I realized that he probably was just waking up out of habit. So, I would have the baby monitor on to wake me up when he woke up, and then I would turn it down, wait 5-10 minutes, and then at the end of that time, would turn the volume back up -- usually, he was quiet. Within a few weeks, he wasn't even waking up any more. But I did give him a spill-proof sippy cup with water, so that if he was *thirsty* he could drink (because I hate being thirsty).

9pm is way too late of a bedtime for baby this age. She is probably overtired by this time, which accounts for the nightwaking. Ever heard of the saying "too tired to sleep"? Well this is exactly what happens to overtired baby. The bottle is just a prop to help her go back to sleep. Try an earlier bedtime- say around 7 or 7:30. My son is 2 1/2 and he goes to bed at 7:30 and sleeps for 12 hours. This has been the case since he was about 6 mos old. If you notice sleepy signs sooner than this, then just go with it and start the bedtime routine then. Good luck!

I didn't read all the responses, so I don't know if anyone recommended this, but you might also try a white noise machine. We had the hardest time getting our DD to sleep at night, white noise machine, voila...sleeps like a baby! Good luck

Hi C.,

Most of the time, especially when you've tried everything else :) sleep issues are caused by over-stimulation. I don't mean the kind that comes from too much play or TV but the kind that comes from chemical stimulation. My youngest daughter was diagnosed with ADHD and when I detoxed my entire home, her diagnosis was removed. The toxins in the home were over stimulating her neurological system so much that she never slept and when she did, her feet tapped continuously.

If you use anything with chlorine bleach you need to get rid of it. Their are other things that will disinfect. Johnson and Johnson products, even the baby products, are toxic. (The Chinese gov't won't even allow them to be sold in China because of their toxicity....)The FDA only monitors one product at a time and doesn't look at the contraindications of two or more products. Their legal limit with some chemicals that are considered toxic has doubled and even tripled in some products recently.

If you'd like more information I'd be glad to help. Detoxing is a simple process and it's not expensive if done right. It can even save you money in the long run. Let me know if I can help.

Regards,

M.
www.squidoo.com/ifyourbabycouldtalk

Dear Mom with sleepless nights,
We went through the same thing with our son at that age. The way that we solved the problem was by giving him a thick bottle of baby cereal just before he went to bed and he began sleeping until 6:30am each night. You will have to make the hole in the nippple a little larger for the cereal to pass through when the child sucks it...But, it worked!!

What we discovered was that milk alone wasn't satisfying his hunger long enough so he was waking in the early hours of the morning looking for something more to eat.

I do hope thatt tis helps to solve or even slow down the problem of your sleepless nights!!!

[hac]

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I had the same problem with my first daughter. Exact same problem. First let me say - get her off the bottle. Because Lydia would wake up and I would give her a bottle - her teeth had decay! The milk settles and really does a number on their teeth. She had caps on her baby teeth because of it. I would assume that during the day your daughter is using a sippy cup...if not she needs to be. Throw the bottle out.

As far as the waking - she is just in a habit...just like my Lydia. You will have to suffer about a week (I know you already are) and when she wakes let her go back to sleep without the milk. You may have to sooth her back to sleep or even give her a sippy cup with some water (that's what we did). I definitely don't believe in them crying themselves back to sleep - that's just me. Lydia finally within about a week started sleeping through the night or at least soothing herself back to sleep. Good luck!!

I just went through this with my 11 month old. HAving 2 other children getting up through the night was just not an option for me if I wanted to function with my children. I called my doctor & he suggested the ferber method (this may be spelled wrong) in a nut shell at first cry wait 5 min then enter the room reassure baby with out picking her up! Then leave the room (she may still be crying but that is okay) then return after 10 min. reassure her again then leave the room do not spend more than 20 seconds with her. Then repeat reenter every 15 min. It sucks for the first 2 night but gets much better with every night. It took my son 3 days he is now sleeping through the night & I assure you he was not permanently scarred. I hope this helps. It did for me.

It sounds like your little girl might be hungry. Try giving her a bath to wind down then give her some cereal with her bottle. If she get's up give her some water. She will get out of the habit of waking up in the middle of the night for a bottle.

I have to agree with the post that recommended Dana Oberman's Sleep Sense program. We were at our wits end with our precious daughter. She had the hardest time sleeping until we implemented this program. The most important part for us was to put her down EARLY. She is asleep by 7:30 each night. We start her routine at 7:00 and by 7:30 she is sound asleep. She got sick about a month ago and started waking up during the night. We made the mistake of giving her a bottle b/c she was so stuffed up from the cold she wasn't eating much at a time and I was worried she wasn't getting enough to eat. This was a big mistake. She started waking up each night at 2:30 when previously she slept from 7:30 to 6:30 the next day. We gave her a bottle b/c it was so much easier than letting her cry. Then she started waking up at 12:30 and 3:30. We knew we had to put a stop to it. The next night we re-implemented the sleep sense program and with in a few days she was sleeping through the night again. I won't say it is easy, but it does work!! Try putting her down no later than 8:00 and see if it doesn't get better. Cereal in the bottle never worked for us. She had reflux and for some reason it irritated her stomach and she wouldn't sleep well at all. Good luck!