Hi everyone
I am from the UK and have a podiatry degree, I loved my career when I lived there and was a podiatrist for 11 years. I married my husband who is from texas and he wanted to move back here. I was reluctant because my degree was not recognized over here and I would not be able to work. to cut a long story short I moved over here and have been home with the children (7 and 2) for nearly 4 years.
I have decided I want to go and purse a BSN in nursing. nursing was always my second choice after podiatry and I found out I can use my degree to do an accelerated program, which I can do online and complete in a year. I have to go in once a week. I know it will be a lot of work and h*** o* my family for that year, but I am prepared for some late night studying and early mornings.
I have the money from inheritance my grandfather left me, so that's not an issue.
my husband thinks I am being selfish and I should stay home until my daughter goes to school in 3.5 years - I really hate to wait that long, who knows if I will still have the money, or the inclination? I just want to do it now, get it over with and then when my daughter goes to school I can go back to work. my hubby is out of work at the moment and does not have a college education, and so we find it hard to afford things on the salary he makes - we live in a tiny 800 sq foot trailer with only 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom, my son and daughter have to share a room, we can;t afford to upgrade, and I am balking at using my grandfathers money to upgrade our house because it's not that much money, and then it would be gone.
should I go for it now - or in 3.5 years guys? what should I do!?
hi Ina
at present we are living off unemployment and my husband has some part time work - I stay at home full time, we have no insurance at all, as it ended with his last lay off and we can't afford to buy it - we are applying for medicaid.
the inheritance would and probably will have to cover my DD's childcare as my husband has refused to let his mother watch the children, as he says she is too old, she is furious as she would love to watch the kids - she is 71, but she doesn't want to get in between us so she has accepted it.
yes the field is competetive you are absolutely right, but I hope that having 11 years of medical experience and a medical degree will go a long way to giving me an edge over the other applicants - if I fail to get in I will keep trying - my family does come first, my husband is kind of a controlling type, and he likes me to be at home, which is one of the things at the heart of this - the other is he feels inadequate because he has no degree himself - he started school 6 times, and dropped out each time, but I have still offered to pay for him to go back - he say's no, he does not have the time! I really feel nervous having to depend on him for all my needs, he is generous with his paychecks, but when he is out of work we have no money coming in and we start to dip in our savings this is not the first time he has been out of work, in fact since i moved here he has been out of work probably for a total of a year, and has had temp jobs, nothing really permanent - I like permanence!
thanks for your reply!
Now is the perfect time to get your degree!!! Do it! Nurses have very, very flexible house depending on your specialty. So, once your done you can still work and be with the kids when they need you. Do it, do it, do it. My humble opinion is your husband is a little jealous of your degree and capabilities. Don't let him slow you down.
M.,
I've gotta give you my opinion on this O.. I'm sorry of this comes across as harsh, I don't mean it to be, but sometimes an unbiased eye can see more clearly.
It sure sounds like someone in your house needs to do something! It might as well be you, b/c from what you've written, yes, your husband likes to be in control and have you at home, but it doesn't seem like he does too much to keep you all comfortable and safe there. He's got 2 kids! They need insurance! He needs a FT job--yesterday!
Or maybe HE can stay home for 3.5 years and you watch the kids and get your career back on track? If you use your $ to upgrade your housing arrangements, where will that put you? Same spot but with more room. Best wishes!
Go for it now! What a great opportunity for you and your family. But I would try to be very sensitive to your husband's feelings about it, and try to work through what bothers him so much, so it doesn't end up hurting your relationship with him. Even consult with a marriage therapist, if you're just spinning in circles with him. Good luck!
I suggest u go for it!!!!!!!!!!!! Have a member of his family care for the kids and just pay them!!! Yea with what money right? Use ur inheritance and look for a part time job do it not for ur kids but for u. Wish u the best.
I just wanted to say good luck! Don't put off til tomorrow what you can do today! It may be tough in the beginning but you'll get a routine going and you've got your medical background to help you through! Wishing you all the best!
I've been a stay at home mom for the past 10 years after a 10 year career in fundraising. I recently went back to school to get a paralegal certificate. I'm only taking 2 courses and find the pace manageable but more than I expected. I have 2 kids, ages 8 and 11, so they are in school during the day. I think you should wait until the kids are in school but I understand your desire to get some income coming it. I know that there is no way I could have handled even 2 courses when my girls were younger. I would double check what kind of course-work you are looking at and if an online program is acceptable for a nursing career.
Go now, and encourage your husband to go now too. Someone has to invest in your future and if your husband won't then who will, maybe put it that way to him?
I personally believe young children benefit most when mothers are home, but you will be gone only one day a week for the education and that is nothing!
I also believe that all women should seek education and have a fall back plan and if that means helping support the family, then so be it.
It is NOT selfish.
He is holding you back.
He probably feels insecure about it... because he lacks a college education.
tell him, my own HUSBAND, a man... is going to school NOW. And I don't call him selfish. We are not rich by any means... but my Hubby is going to school. He considers it important and I do too. I do not call him selfish... rather, I think he is very industrious and hard working. I applaud him. It will only benefit him (and us) later.
With your Nursing degree, it will help you of course but it will ALSO help the family... as nursing, depending what kind, has really good pay. SO, your Husband should be thinking down the road... and broadly.... and wisely... and know that it can only help the entire family.
Yes, going to school and having kids/a family is not easy. It will take time away from them... and consume a TON of time for studying. My Husband does that, and I am like a Single-Parent.So... your Husband (and you), has to realize that... and maybe, he is NOT wanting to do all that work/babysitting with the kids? While you are so busy studying???
I say, go to school.
He also needs to increase his skill set too... he is probably a bit depressed/insecure because he is unemployed... and not educated. But he should be PROUD of you.... being a Nurse is a great field.
All the best,
Susan
Do it! How is that selfish when it is going to help your families well being? I am planning on going back to school in the fall as well, I HATE the idea of leaving my daughter but we can't live of one income, and this is our only option. You are very lucky you can get it done in a year, for me I will have 3 more years ahead of me (because i changed majors halfway through junior year of college...haha)
I do want to go back to school too.
For us, my family comes first. My hubby is in school right now and has no income. If I was to quit my job, we would have NO money coming in at all and lose our insurance. Do you make the money in your family? What do you live off? who carries your insurance? Would your inheritance cover childcare expenses? Can you qualify for financial aid?
Second of all you are looking at a VERY competitive field. If you have not yet, check the prereqs for admission. Even if you have a degree from the UK, you might have to repeat or take some additional prereqs. You could start doing those immediately at you local community college to ease back into student life and see how you feel about this.
Sit down with your husband and set his head straight. There really is no reason to wait until your youngest is in school. But if it's going to work out for your family, you will need his support.
Good Luck!
I would definitely go. You will need to talk to your husband about it - SO NOT SELFISH of you. You will be a happier person - a better wife and mom because of it AND will be investing in providing long term for your family's well being... not sure how this is selfish or wrong. Go for it!
use the money now for your degree. the accelerated BSN is done in one year if you have many classes at once. you won't be able to do that. also, many won't jump on hiring you if you get your degree online. as a nurse you need hands on experience. community college is what i suggest you start at, and then transfer elsewhere to take the professional classes. there are a few classes you need to take before you can start BNS. I say yes go now.
I would go to school, working on yourself is not being selfish at all, and your husband is wrong for saying it is. Also, if you can do this and get a well paying job there is no reason your husband can not be the one to stay home with your daughter. Many men do it, it is not just a woman's job to raise the children. He may have some other fears about you wanting a career? Is there a chance he is afraid you may leave him? That may be off base in this case, but I have seen that before in other couples. Use the money for school, you will earn it back and more in nursing! And the fact that you can do the accelerated program just makes it more of a win win because you do not have to wait 2-4 years for the money and hard work to start paying off. What happens if next year he gets laid off and can not find a job and you have no marketable skills in this country? I would think going to school would be what is best for you and your family!
Go now! This IS the time!
