I Want to Be a Stay at Home Mom

This is a difficult time for you. I have a 2 and 3 year old and I always wanted to be home w/them and for them. I was laid off from my job back in May and we decided to look for something that would enable me to still make some income but work around my children. We found a wonderful company and I work with a great team. Let me know when you have time to chat. I know what you are going through and I understand the frustration. But know that you do not have to go thru this alone. Hope to hear from you soon.

Instead of a SAHM would you settle for WAHM to bring in some extra cash? I found the perfect work from home job a couple of months ago. I am still working full-time, but hope to be working exclusively from home some day. For now, I’m able to get some extra money by putting in a couple hours a week. Let me know if you want more information. Send me a private message or call me at ###-###-#### and ask for K..

You poor thing...I feel for you so deeply. I think every mom should get to stay home, work from home...whatever. I sure can't answer your question for you but just want to let you know that I'm thinking of you. There are several women (that I'm around) that have put their own ideals and career in front of their children and family. It does my heart good to see someone trying to find a good balance...Sorry, I can't be more helpful. The decisions you are facing are ones I can't help with...Bless you, you're a beautiful mom.

If you are truly the "Comptroller" of your family's business, then you are able to work from home. Sit down with the other family members and make an offer, so they will want to help.

I'm sorry this isn't really a request for you, but for the other moms who are responding to you. Those of us who work, by necessity or choice, don't have someone else "raising our kids." We're raising our kids even if we're not with them every minute of the day.

I guess that's my best advice. Feel good about doing the "best by your kids" even if it's not the "best" that you envision or desire. If you and your family need the money, then work and model that as a positive thing for your kids, not something to be lamented. You can be the one to explain how all great moms make sacrifices for their families, and you felt that the best way that you can support your family was by working, even if that is personally h*** o* you.

If you can find a way to stay home happily, then do that if it's what you want. But there's more than one way to be a great mom.

If working at home part time is something that you would like to do, you need to do a little research for your employer and present it in a format that they will understand as a benefit to them. You can work a certain amount of hours, perform the duties they need, and show them how it will help them save money. All business owners are interested in saving money, but not losing productivity. Is there an aspect of the business that actually requires you to be face to face? Perhaps there are certain times that you could set up.

In your presentation you need to be completely professional and try to remain objective. The business is far less interested in what positives there will be for you...what's in it for them? You should present it to them as something you would be willing to do on a "probationary" or trial basis and discuss the positives and negatives at the end of the probationary period. If at the end of the trial period you both agree that it works, you can do it. If you like it and they don't...look for another job while you are still there, and prepare to leave (the trial period will be good for both you and your employer). You may find at the end of the trial that you are more comfortable or more productive with your previous arrangement.

If you don't like it and the employer does, it will be very difficult to go back to the previous arrangement and if you don't implement a trial period and the employer doesn't like it, you may find yourself looking for another job or at home whether you like it or not.

Think it through very carefully, try to think of all of the objections that your employer may have; and formulate your presentation to eleviate their concerns before they are even aired. Many people successfully telecommute, and accounting is definitely a field that is very conducive to a work at home opportunity. If you supervise an accounting team (AP/AR/Payroll, etc) this is not going to work. However, if you are the accounting team, you can do nearly all of this work at home, spending a few hours at work matching invoices, cutting checks, etc.

Hope this helps!

I'm not sure what advice to give you if you are going to work. I made the decision when we had our first to quit working. We made a budget based on one income and have stuck with it. We have simply gotten used to what we can and can't buy. We have learned to live with hand me down couches and slip covers and clothes from sales racks. We make a menu at the beginning of each paycheck and only buy what's on it. We only eat out once a paycheck or less. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean you have too look poor. My slip covers are nice and you'd never know the clothes were bought on sale. But it does occasionally get to me that I can't buy something new I would like. I just decided being home with my kids is just more important to me. As for starting your own business, look very carefully at what you are wanting to do. Do a lot of research into the market before you actually do anything. We started our own scrapbook supply business several years ago. It started out fine, then sales dried up. There are just too many places to buy that stuff. Thankfully, the loss didn't really affect finances. My parents started their own business roasting and selling coffee and it's booming. Our one business venture outside of my husband's job is that we own a home that we rent out. We have a rental manager, so he does all the work. As the years have gone by, we are noticing the effect of living off of one paycheck less and less. His pay goes up, savings goes up, debt goes down. So it is possible (slowly) to get more and more of what we want. And honestly, we actually save a bit by me not working right now. One car, one gas tank, no childcare fees. We actually sat down and figured that all out when we moved here and I briefly contemplated getting a paying job. I would miss this too much anyway!

Please do a lot of soul searching before you act on this. I left my job to be a SAHM and now my husband is unemployed. Never thought this could happen in a million years. He has so many skills! Has been told over and over that he's overqualified for a variety of jobs. Florida is a economic disaster right now, and if your husband's income is not dependable, it really might be the BEST possible parenting you can do to keep your job and your income to help support the family. It's a very difficult time to start a new business venture if you don't have a large financial safety net. I would be so happy to have a steady job like yours!!! Also, you may find that if you wait it out a few years, you can bank some savings and then be home with them when they are a bit older. Some say the tween years are when it's really vitally important to spend a lot of time with your kids, when there are more potential bad influences coming at them from all over, and they could really use a lot of close attention and guidance. Just a thought. I hope you find a solution that works for you! Good luck.

I was in a similar situation just last year. I was having BB #3 and my oldest was turning 4. My husband and I both needed to work to "pay the bills", but couldn't really afford 3 in daycare either. So I found an awesome company that I now work at home for on my own time. It still is work, but I work around my kids schedule. If you are open to hearing about what I do, write me back.

Best Wishes!

V.

Hi!

I feel it is honorable that you want to do so - so first I would encourage you to write down and get clear on WHAT you want to do and WHY.

Then put down what income you need to replace

Then write down some action steps you can take to do so.

This is an area I am passionate about.

Feel free to call me

A.
###-###-####

I've always been a working mom, and I've never had the flexibility of working from home because of the nature of my jobs. Currently, it's possible that I could physically do it, but the company doesn't allow it, and I honestly don't think I could give fully to my employer/children in that situation.

Perhaps if my kids were older I'd be able to manage it better. But, at 2 and 3.5, they were out of control while just trying to clean up from an easy dinner last night.

Follow your heart and do what you think is best for your family (with your husband's support, of course). I wouldn't want to work for family, but my oldest sister does and has flexibility (probably too much that would get her fired from other jobs).

If you think you can give 8 hours+ of dedicated work to an employer, I'd recommend trying it. I personally know I couldn't do that, so I choose this way instead.

What having a cancer diagnosis after the birth of my second child has taught me is to be present in the time we do have with them. I don't think my kids feel any less loved, adored, nurtured, disciplined, etc. because most of my time is spent at work. I make personal sacrifices (sleep, time with my friends) to be there in the time I do have with my kids.

Good luck in making your decision.

Hi E.,
Hopefully, you can work something out with your current employer. But if not, I would think another company would love to have someone part time rather than full because of the decrease in construction business.
I don't know if this would interest you or not, but since I left engineering to stay at home, I started a home based business. Here are a couple of 3 minute messages to listen to: Roger Barnett, Chairman & CEO - ###-###-#### & Project MAHMA™ - ###-###-####. There is a longer Project Mamha call tonight. If the messages interest you, let me know.
Good luck to you!
Victoria

I just read about babies in the workplace http://www.babiesatwork.org/index.html
Talk to your employer about setting a program like this up where you work. You would still be with your baby, but getting you job done as well and saving money on daycare for the first 8 months.

I don't have answers for you but I applaud your instincts. Don't miss any more time with your kids than you absolutely have to. You only get once chance at it.

I love the idea someone mentioned of going part-time from home, taking less pay from your current employer. You never know - they may love the opportunity to lower their overhead.

Good luck and God bless you . . . you have a true heart for your children.

my mother is a bookkeeper, and a CPA, if your are doing accounting, most of that can be done from a home office, my mom does that 3 day a week? hope this helps...

Hi E.! I don't blame you at all...I stay home with my two children. I will say it can get totally exhausting..but I wouldn't trade all that time with them for the world. I would also love to start my own business...but my kids are so young that I just don't feel like I have the time to put towards that. Do you like to shop? I have found selling things on ebay to be a fun and easy way to make extra money. If you have something that interests you, you could try selling it. I like children's and women's clothing, so that is what I focus on. In South Florida we have the benefit of Sawgrass Mills, with all the name brand merchandise. I like to shop there and resell it. Just a thought, but it is easy to do at night, or on the weekends when you might have extra help from your hubby. Take care!
A. :)

I would pitch telecommuting. Say you will take a pay cut to be allowed to do so. I bet they would do it - my old employer did and I was the first EVER to telecommute for them.

You should also find out if you could qualify for state aide. By having a family of 5, your income requirements for state run health care, food stamps, WIC and discounted utilities would be fairly high. Food stamps ALONE could be as high as $500 a month!

When forced, many families can really make a dollar stretch on a shoe string. We did and we still do!!!

Money is money, but kids are priceless!!

Hi E.,

Best decision we ever made, but also the hardest. I didn't want someone else raising my kids.

I am a stay at home in Savannah, GA. Before I had children I did work and I have to say (as you may already guess) being a stay at home mother is unbelievable more difficult. But I'll be frank with you, after the first few weeks went by I felt my days running together, I felt stuck in my house, I felt lonely and extremely bored and depressed. I began to get scatterbrained, put off chores and household needs, etc...

I learned to put my house, my self and my children all on schedules. Literally. Everything in this house is on a rotation that works for my personality. Its the BEST thing I ever did! I feel like I have more time for myself, and I feel like a better mom and wife. When my husband comes home, the house is clean, I look presentable (not in sweatpants with my hair yanked back in a frizzy bun without makeup!) and I'm starting dinner.
He has no idea how much planning goes into making our home run in that manner, but I do and thats all that matters. He can come home and relax and I'm not muttering to myself, "Yeah, put your feet up and be lazy.. I could really use a hand you jerk." Instead, I'm not desperate for help or feeling angry.

If you decide to stay at home - remember 3 things:

#1 - Everything starts with Mommy. The day is easier if you're the first one up, dressed fed and ready. If Mommy is falling apart, everyone and everything else will too.

#2 - Part of your new career will be stretching every dollar his paycheck brings home. I had to learn that the hard way. All of our payment dates and amounts are on a calendar so I don't forget. Online banking is also GREAT for easily checking your balances before grocery shopping. Also - a list and calculator will be your new best friends.

#3 - Your children, above all, will be better for it. Statistically, moms who work and pay for childcare are not bringing in enough money to make a difference - whereas stay at home moms save the money and have much better developed and better behaved children.

Good luck! Its hard but its wonderful!

Dear E.,

I'm always looking for reps and if you are open to more information and interested in creating some income and having your own business, please send me an email.

My passion is prevention through whole food and a revolutionary product line called JuicePlus+. Have you heard of it? FYI, we are
all about giving people a way to have the flexibility of still being available for their children as they grow up but also giving them a purpose that touches families in a very powerful way.
E., my website has a free 12 minute video on it which is
www.juiceplus.com/+ck49780 (or vineripejuiceplus.com - I just changed my domain) and a picture is worth a thousand words.
Would you be open to more information? If you are serious, let's talk;... when would you have a few minutes?
Best,
C.
____@____.com
tel: ###-###-####

Hi E.

I left my elementary teaching position in NY 5 yrs ago to be a SAHM. I don't regret it at all, but we have had to struggle a bit. We moved to south Fl almost 3 yrs ago, and our physician told us about Juice Plus. If you haven't heard of it, it is a fruit and vegetable whole food concentrate in a capsule or chewable. It has 15 published medical studies supporting that it gets into the body and works at the cellular level the same way fruits and vegetables do. Makes sense because none of us are getting enough F&V especially our children. Check out our short video at www.wejuiceplus.com I love it and wanted my friends and family to know about it.

The reason I am telling you this is because I didn't realize there was an amazing company behind Juice Plus. When I found out, I bought my own virtual franchise (only $50) and started sharing Juice Plus with everyone I cared about. I don’t have to buy or stock anything or meet any quota; I just share the information and help people create healthier lifestyles. It has been 2 years now and it has been a great second income stream for our family. I especially love that the company has a something for everyone. You can make an extra $100 a month, an extra $500 a month or you can choose to put more effort/time in and make much more, and get a full benefits package and expense account. They even have a family tuition plan as part of the benefits package. The people on our south FL team have been a blessing...an amazing support system.

I am not sure if this would be a fit for you, but if you would like to get on the phone one night and learn more, I would be happy to share, and then you can see if this is something you might want to try. It is not a get rich quick thing, in fact many people have done this business just a few hours a week sideline to their current job to start out, and then within a short while they have seen the potential for much more. Check out our virtual franchise page at www.juiceplusvirtualfranchise.com there is a short video there as well. Then call me if you want to talk.

Healthy Blessings,
C. Soave M.S.Ed
Family Nutrition Educator
Certified L.E.A.N Coach
###-###-####
Building a wholesome world, one family at a time!

Are you close with the family you are working for? Do they have kids? If so I would talk to them about this and you never know they might be more understanding than you think. If you are not close and they are not understanding how upset would they be if you were looking or were to get a new job? Do they expect you to be there 24/7? Can your husband get a different job that isn't on commission or is he too specialized? You are really stuck in a difficult situation and need to think about all the different scenarios and outcomes before making your next move.

Is it possibly that the family may let you have more flexible hours? Maybe morning and night, and then you could take your son to afternoon activities? Just a thought.

With this economy, the thought of changing jobs is so scary when you have one right now that you can count on.

I left a career as a Registered Medical Technologist MT(ASCP) for those very reasons. For 25 years now, I have been making 6 figures in Mary Kay and was not only able to have TOTAL flexibility with my kids, but now with the grandkids! Besides that, I love not having quotas, career portability (no territories) and super tax deductions so my income wasnt cancelled out by the exhorbitant taxes one usually has to pay on that income. I love the teaching aspect and helping others... it never feels like "sales". Plus the free car, new every other year, and insurance really help the family budget! You are smart to change direction!

I am a stay at home mom, and we have just adjusted our living expenses to fit this budget. I know that this is not an easy thing, but it all depends on what you are willing or can give up in order to do what you may want to do. We don't have brand new cars with car payments, and we don't have a really big house, and we don't go out to eat. But I get to stay home and spend time with my children. Anything is possible, it just depends on what you are willing to alter in order to accomplish it. I hope this helps.

Track your finances. Being a SAHM may actually save you money. I am getting ready to have number 4 and there is NO WAY, financially, I could have a job.
My husband and I have been doing Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover for 6 months and are about 1 month shy of being debt free and we're a once income family.
Since I'm going to be home with the kids for a few more years, we've also decided to homeschool. My son will be in Kindergarden next year too.
We regularly attend a church and have play dates so I get my fill of adult interaction. I love being a SAHM.
I've also started selling Avon. It's not a great income, but it is a little extra money...plus I get a discount!

You better hang onto the job you have and be happy with it. I would love to have a job right now. I was a single Mom and didn't get to spend as much time with my girls as I wanted because I was working all the time. Just make sure you make the time you do have with them good times. My girls are beautiful, smart and just all around terrific. They talk a lot about all the fun and good times we had even though I always felt guilty about not having enough time with them. I played with them a lot. We did everything together. Cooked, cleaned, played. Just make sure you give your kids you full attention when you are with them. Relax and enjoy your work...There are thousands of people that would take your job in a heart beat..Me for one.

E.- There are SO many things that come to mind when reading your post and question. A little background on me: I am a 52 yr old Mother of an 8 year old daughter and she is our one and only child, so I was almost 44 yrs old when she was born. I did initially go back to work after she was born, however, after talking it over with my husband, we mutually decided soon thereafter that we would ALL be better off for SEVERAL reasons if I stayed home with her, which I did for the first two years of her life. I consider that the best gift my husband has ever given me, I have alot of respect and compassion for women with children who work outside the home, however, for me personally, my heart and my mind told me that I did not wait til I was 44 years old to have my one and only child to pay someone else to care for her several hours a day, several days a week. It was by far the best decision I have ever made! When she was 2 yrs old, we enrolled her in a private Christian school in their Child Development Program (another great decision). I thought about going back to work, however, the thought of having a boss, someone else dictating where I worked, what time I had to be there, how much I got paid, and begging time off of work if our daughter got sick, etc. did NOT appeal to me at all! Also, I wanted to do something where I could help people. Basically, "Making a Living, While Making A Difference".

It was right around this time that someone made an appt. with my husband to show him a "legal service plan" to protect his tile, marble and wood flooring installation business. (\Averaging only $2.50 a day to protect the business legally it totally made sense to us and we enrolled in their program immediately. I inquired if they had something similar to protect the family, he showed us that plan, another "no brainer", we enolled in the "Family Plan" (which averaged out to just under $1. a day to protect our entire family legally nationwide!). When the man got ready to leave, I told him "you can't leave yet, I know you're making some money here tonight and I'm looking...show me the business opportunity". That was 7 years ago. I have happily and successfully worked from home since then through a 38 year old, NYSE Company, Pre-Paid Legal Services, Inc., which just experienced their BEST MONTH EVER in their 38 year history in August 2009 in the midst of a recession! (My best month on a part-time basis was $6,200, much of which is "leveraged income") I work around our daughter's schedule, am available to pick her up from school at 2pm, assist with homework, volunteer at the school, attend field trips during the day with her class, recitals, sporting events, playdates, etc.

All of that being said...
The first thing to do is figure out exactly what it is that YOU really want. What makes YOU happy and feel fulfilled. I do realize that there are certain challenges with the economy, however, don't allow that to cause you to stop considering your own needs, dreams and desires and what is best for YOU and YOUR FAMILY as well as what contribution you would like to make in the world.

Working for or with family holds it's own special set of challenges. However, as with any job/employer, there is some room for negociation. Perhaps suggesting working out a 4 day a week schedule, or working at home part of the time and the office part of the time would work out. Whatever you suggest to them, you need to present it in such a way as to help them see "What's In It For THEM". Spell out the benefits THEY would derive from your suggestion.

There are several things to consider before quitting your job and/or choosing a company or business opportunity to align yourself with. First off, with very few exceptions, most people should never simply quit a steady paycheck and begin working from home or starting a business. This is something that can and should be eased into gradually. I call it "Digging Your Well BEFORE You Need The Water". EVERYONE should have a "Plan B" that they can work at WHILE they are working their full-time gig. That way if the bottom falls out and you do lose that paycheck, you have already begun to build something else to replace, (or surpass) that income.

If you do consider one of the many work at home opportunities...be VERY careful and do your homework! I did ALOT of research and know alot about numerous opportunities (both GOOD and BAD), which I would be happy to share with you. There are alot of scams out there, but there are ALSO alot of opportunities that have ALOT of "competition". (Several different companies selling "the best" product or service they offer). Don't get me wrong, alot of them are very good Companies, have very good products and GREAT training. I've worked with some of them and will not bad mouth the company or product. However, you DO have to ask yourself a few important questions: "How long has the company REALLY been around? Are they a fairly "new" company talking about "projections of where they hope to be" or is there a solid, proven "track record of their performance" , AND "How many OTHER companies are out there selling a similar product or service?"...Or in other words, "How much competition is there in the marketplace?" One of the many things I love about PPLSI which offers our legal plans and Kroll, Inc. which offers our Identity Theft Shield product, is that we are NOT a new company trying to get a small piece of an already existing industry, we represent two 30 plus year old, publicly traded companies that CREATED two industries. There is a proven track record to refer to. You also need to make sure you check out the level of support and training you will receive as this is key to your success.

Whatever you choose it has to be the right "vehicle" for YOU! My recommendation would be not to "prejudge" any opportunity based on the name of the company or what you THINK you know about it or even have heard from others. If you ask your broke neighbor what they think of XYZ Company, keep in mind that if you accept their opinion, you accept their lifestyle. Get ALL the facts and accurate information from the people directly involved and make your OWN intelligent, informed decision.

I wish you the best success in whatever path you choose and invite you to contact me directly. You can leave a voicemail message on my toll free number and I would be happy to get back with you. That number is 888-448-1489.

Respectfully at your service,

S.
S. Byrtus
Independent Associate/Executive Director
Pre-Paid Legal Services, Inc. (PPLSI)

Website: www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/sbyrtus