C.J. asks from Kenner, LA on September 01, 2007
I Want to Adopt.
Okay - I am taking the first step; research.
My husband and I have been married for ten years and have tried to have a baby all along. I have a child from my first marriage, he has none. Early this year, I had some medical problems. Conceiving a child is no longer an option. I am finished wallowing in self pity over that.
We want a baby. For many many reasons. So here I go - looking into adoption.
I have always had it in my head that becoming 'eligble' to adopt is difficult and costly. My husband and I both have good jobs, but we are by no means wealthy. So that is my first question - do you have to be 'financially advanced' to adopt?
My second question is, and another thing that I think might hinder or wish to adopt, do you have to have good relationships with you extended family, ie our parents. I do not speak to my mother and have not for years. I have siblings that I speak to very little. My husband's family does not live close. So as far as family goes, it's pretty much just my husband, our son and me.
I have looked at several different adoption websites and while they are somewhat informative, they are also very vague. I'd love to talk with someone who has done this and who can give me some straight forward answers.
Any help or advice will be GREATLY appreciated!
So What Happened?™
I just love this website - thank you all very much for your advice and kind, kind words! This is the path that we have decided to take, now if we can just get our hands on a good map! :)
L.H. answers from Fayetteville on September 04, 2007
I'll see if I can talk to my mom today...she adopted me when I was 2 and knows all about it. Hopefully someone can help you before then...
J. answers from Little Rock on September 03, 2007
Contact the Department of Health and Human Servics. There is no cost to adopt. I don't know how long the process is or what the approval process is, but you can apply and check out some of the requirements and available children at
Private adoption agencies have to be licensed through DHHS and do charge a fee and can be VERY expensive.
Check with the Better Business Bureau to see if there has been any complaints and also check with DHHS if you chose a private agency to see if they are required to be licensed.
Hope that helps.
A.H. answers from Fort Smith on September 04, 2007
Hi C. J
I am mom to two boys ages 4 years, and 1 year. Both of them adopted. We found that there are many options when adopting, and many different types of adoption with varying degrees of expense. The need for great monetary wealth is a myth, though it will be necessary for an examination of personal finances, and it is unlikely to be an expense free journey, if you can persevere, it is a wonderful way for a family to grow. It is hard work , but so very worth it.
J.R. answers from Little Rock on September 04, 2007
I am a mother-baby nurse and I also recentlty attended a seminar on adoption. So maybe I can help answer some of your questions. First, you do not have to be financially advanced to adopt. The face of adoption as well as the system behind it has changed alot in recent years. Money is no longer a prerequisite for adopting. I personally have a friend who is up to her ears in debt for college financial aid, and she and her husband adopted a baby recently. Second, a good relationship with your extended family is not a prerequisite either. Many people do not have good family relationships and they are able to adopt, and some don't even have an extended family. Also, some single men and women adopt (although personally I feel children benefit from a husband/wife home). One of the first moves I would make is search out an agency in your area who can start the "process" of determining your eligibility. It looks as though we live in different states, otherwise I would give you specific phone numbers to call. I wish you all the best in your endeavor; it truly takes a special person to open up their home and life to another person's child. You are truly blessed!
P.V. answers from Lafayette on September 04, 2007
Good Morning. I am the mom of a beautful 16 month old boy. My husband and I adopted him pretty much at birth. You are doing hte right thing by doing research . I agree that it is hard ot find good solid info online. To give you the short answers to your questions, No, you don't have to be wealthy to adopt and no you don't have to get along with your family. You are on hte right track though, as now a days you hardly hear of a closed adoption and birth moms are now looking at your profile (presented in a scrapbook) so your chances of getting picked are simply up to the type of personality of the birth mom and what she wants in parents and home for her baby. In my experience EVERY person that sets out to adopt does!! FIRST, You must ask yourself some questions... Will you accept bi racial? Or a race other than your own? WHat about special needs? International? Open or closed adoption?? You and your husband should pray about these things and firmly decide what will work for your househould. What is your budget? One that is settled you can look for an agency that can work with you to find a "fit". My husnabd and I were foster parents and tried adopting that way. It is FREE and the wait is VERY, VERY SHORT for bi racial and special needs kids. They DO have (not newborns) but BABIES available. I hope that is enough to get you started, you can email me if you would like to chat more. Claire~
N.C. answers from Baton Rouge on September 04, 2007
Hi. My sister is in the process of adopting. The question is, are you adopting a child from America or from a different country? If you are interested, I will give you her website address where she and others who adopt keep in touch through blogs.
Also, my ex-husband is adopted. I can't give you advice on how to adopt but can tell you how his being adopted affected him.
PS I think people who adopt are angels sent from heaven. You are a special person. :)
E.K. answers from New Orleans on September 04, 2007
I have adopted a son who is now 2 and am in the process of adopting his brother who is now 6 months. We went the foster to adopt route. We registered for foster parenting with Office of Community Services here in New Orleans. Never in our wildest dreams would we have thought we would be so pleased and fortunate to have these 2 little guys in our life. We took William into our home when he was 7 1/2 weeks old (he was still in the NICU until then. Because of Katrina the adoption took longer than expected. The second one, who is still a foster child at this time, came into our home at 14 days.
To answer your question about the cost... It has cost us $0.00!
As a matter of fact, you will recieve a TIPS payment until the child is adopted. They do ask about extended family, but I couldn't tell you how "strict" they are about it, as we have a good supportive relationship with etended family.
There are a few drawbacks, such as the possibility of the mother getting her act together and wanting her baby back, but that didn't happen in our case.
Feel free to email me with any questons. ____@____.com