I Thought Colic Was Supposed to End at 3 Months?

Updated on March 09, 2008
G.T. asks from Canton, MA
7 answers

My little girl at 16 weeks STILL has colic. Starting every day around 4:30 pm she cries and cries and cries AND cries.

It is taking a huge toll on me, my husband and our marriage. We are at our wits end.
It started at 4 weeks of age, and now 10 weeks later it is not much better. I often work at night, so I leave the house with her screaming, and then my poor husband has to deal with it alone.

We do all the 'colic' tricks - swaddling, swinging, shushing, white noise, dark room, etc, etc, etc, but nothing seems to work. We try to put her down for a nap BEFORE 4:30 hits, but often times she wakes up and the screaming begins.

Yes, I have read the Happiest Baby on the Block and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.
I have tried a sling and a baby bjorn - she HATES them both!

Our pediatrician thinks she might have acid reflux, so we have her on Zantac, and raised her crib at one end so she sleeps upright.

She usually sleeps well at night, but is a horrible napper, and I think this is why she melts down at the end of every day. I try to take her in the car everyday so she'll get a longer nap, but it does not seem to help, and with today's gas prices, it is not the most economical thing for me to do.

I adore my little girl, but I am not enjoying her, or my husband and am starting to dread each day. It is horrible. I feel like a failure as a parent, and I can't even console my own child. I am surprised it did not end at 3 months like it does for most infants. I know I will never have a second child in fear of having to go through this again.

Has anyone else gone through this? Any tips from anyone would be great.

Yes, I know it will end someday, but in the meantime I feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown!

What can I do next?

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L.W.

answers from Boston on

Hi G.,

Colief http://www.colief.com/ worked wonders for my baby. The drops are safe from birth and it's the only thing that worked for my son's colic.

Hope this helps. Hang in there...

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C.M.

answers from Bangor on

I can sympathize! I too feel like a horrible mom at times, but I have come to realize from these threads that it really is about the baby and not your mothering skills. Have you tried a pacifier? I really hate using it, but I have to admit it has made life easier. I am bf'ing, so we always offer the breast first, rule out a dirty diaper. The pacifier really calms her down and allows her to fall asleep because I think she too has a hard time winding down and blocking out all of the stimuli of the day. I second the baby massage. It hasn't changed things completely, but I think it may have helped with moving out the gas and with her tummy troubles. Another alternative the chiropractor is a D.O. (doctor of osteopathy). My husband and I are D.O's and some D.O's specialize in craniosacral therapy and manipulation which can be helpful as well. Good luck and know that you are not alone! I feel better knowing that I am not the only one who feels the way you do (right down to having that 2nd baby )

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C.A.

answers from Boston on

My oldest son was very colicky and nothing seemed to work at first. What did help a little was laying a heating pad (at the lowest setting since baby's skin is more sensitive then ours)
with a blanket on top and putting him tummy down on it. The heat from the pad help him relax and would ease the pain.
The other thing that helped was baby massaging. I would do this before the heating pad.
The baby gets stressed from the pain and they can sense your stress as well which makes it all worse. I would use warm baby oil and massage is legs, arms back, bum and even his tummy, it helps to calm him down and relax. As in adults stress makes it worse.
My son went through his fussy stages longer than other babies but eventually it did stop,
The best suggestion I have is make sure you take time for yourself to relax and decompress because if you don't, it just make the nerves more frazzled all around.
Good luck and remember, this too shall pass!!

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K.V.

answers from Boston on

There is a colic thread about a day ago...look for it. Very Informative.
I would take her to a chiropractor that is good with children. Just call and ask the receptionist about them doing babies. In case her spine is out of whack from birth. Mine was as a baby and it cured me....My mom was very happy!!
Hang in there.

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P.M.

answers from Boston on

It is tough to have a difficult child. I have often thought that I was a horrible mom and was not enjoying it as much as I saw other moms (whos kids were easy, slept through the night, barely cried, etc.). My son HATED the car and screamed constantly in it so I couldn't even use that as a soother. I honesetly can't remember what I did about naps. But 1) the zantac helped huge for my kid. 2) another trick we used (which is horrible) was we put our son down on the couch on a blanket on his belly, with a pacifier in his mouth, and turned on Baby Einstein DVD's. It was the ONLY thing that worked. We were desperate for a few minutes of peace. Those DVD's were a godsend!

And, I said I would never have a second child because of this but ended up pregnant again and have a nice, easy 2nd child. My first is still whiny and difficult (but awesome in so many other ways), and the 2nd is so easy going. You're next could have a completely different personality.

You will make it through this -- it will get better - I promise!!!!

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

I have no advice for the colic, but I just wanted to tell you that it is unfair that you got a colicky baby, and that you are a good mom. It will pass, you will enjoy being around your child, and she's not "unhappy;" she just can't put it all together right now. Hang in there, and try not to feel so guilty about not wanting to be around a crying baby, even if she's yours. It's a tough go.

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L.Z.

answers from Boston on

I feel so sad reading this because I know from experience all the feelings you're having! We had a colicky baby who is now 9 months old. She's over the colic but still cries at night and once or twice during the night too. She gets very cranky at night, when she used to have her 4 hour screaming fits. During the day, she is a good, normal, average baby! She had the severe colic longer than 3 months as well. I learned fast that the 3 month mark is a real myth.

Anyway, I don't know if your daughter was born vaginally or c-section, but mine were both c-section, and I ended up taking my baby to a chiropractor to see if it would help the colic (I had heard that it might and I would have tried ANYTHING). After a few adjustments, she was noticeably better. The chiro told me something that made perfect sense - babies born c-section often get misaligned when being pulled out, and this affects their digestion, which can lead to colic. It made total sense to me because the end of the day is when the digestion issues would build after a day of eating for her. She had horrible gas at night as well. I still take my baby to the chiro once or twice a month. She loves the adjustments and I enjoy doing it with her! Even if your baby was not born via c-section, this misalignment can still happen through the birth process. You have nothing to lose, right?

Hang in there and don't be afraid to have a second child... my first was not colicky and my husband and I often say thank goodness the colicky one was second, or we would feel the way you do, but I know plenty of people who have had colicky first babies and subsequent babies who are completely different. They are ALL different. Lightning usually doesn't strike twice! You and your husband should try taking turns with her so the other can feel some relief at night, and try doing things together during the day when she's in a better mood to bond as a family. I know how tough it is, but it WILL get better and you'll make it through! You are not a failure as a parent. We all feel that way sometimes, but babies just want you close by - the rest will fall into place. You don't have to see her smiling and laughing all the time to have a happy baby. It's in her! Keep up the good work...

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