I Need to Get My Baby to Sleep in Her Crib by Herself!

If I were you I would put her in the crib and let her cry it out. She won't remember it and its for her safety. Yes its nice to be close to your child but there are other times and ways to comfort them. Rock her,read to her,talk calmly to her and let her know that the crib is her bed. Make sure that its calm before she goes to bed and not hyper. Its going to be a tough transitition for you and her but its for the best. Good luck

We did a variation on Ferber too, and I think it really works well but you can usually tell when the crying is going in the "right" direction or the "wrong" direction. Kids at this age understand a lot, so if you explain to her that she is going to sleep in her crib and that it's a good safe place and that you are there if she needs anything, I think that will help. I would start her in the crib right when you get back. It's one less transition that you need to make then. Tell her she's a big girl etc etc.

One of the things that amaze me about kids is how adaptable they really are. She will have a couple of tough nights probably, but it will probably surprise you how fast she adjusts. If she doesn't have a "lovey" yet, or a favorite blanket, now woudl be a good time for one. Or if there's something that she can take into her crib from your bed that would be comforting for her, you might consider that. (obviously not anything that would have the SIDS folks up in arms).

Hi D.-

I just recently went thru this with my 16 mo old. She not only nursed to sleep, I nursed her when she woke during the night too. I started a very bad habit and had to finally break it for both our sakes. She would start the night out in her crib but about 99% of the time, ended up with us in our bed. We tried the Ferber Method (after a few other methods failed or we gave up) and it worked like a charm. The first thing we changed is having my husband put her to bed (we would read with her together, then I would say goodnight and leave). He put her in her bed and went to her to soothe her if she woke up during the night. The first 2 nights were a bit rough but very manageable. But night 4 she was sleeping thru the night in her own bed without being nursed to sleep. The crying it out was very limited--one night she cried 20 minutes during the night but that was it really.

Your best bet is probably to start out your first night home so you don't fall back into the old habit of having her with you. I can say this from experience and past mistakes. No sleep training really goes without a few tough nights, but take it from a mom who's suffered, the pay off is well worth it! They catch on quicker than you'd think.

Good luck!
D.

Hi D.
I have a 4 month old daughter that i started in her crib at 7 weeks. I did a variation on the Ferber method. The first few nights i was in there for hours!! I refused to do the screaming, i personally cant handle that. In order to avoid that, i had to continue to go into her room every 5 minutes to rub her back and comfort her. I did this for about a week with no sleep, but she is great now. It does take will power because it is hard to hear them cry. Now she is 4 months, and sleeps from 7:30pm-8:00am. I also only use her crib for night time sleeping. I have her nap in the pack n play in our room. I think this way she realized that when she was in her big crib, there is no getting out!! She pretty much gave up on me because all i did was rub her back and talk to her, not pick her up. After awhile she was like..."whats the point?? Ill just go to sleep:)"
Do whatever makes you comfortable, but the sooner you do it the better it will be. But every child is different. People tend to scare you. My daughter takes her afternoon nap on my husbands chest everyday for 2 hours.He works nights, and loves having her during the day, so he takes a nap with her! She still sleeps in her crib every night with no problem!! Shell figure it out and you will all be happy!
Good Luck!!

My daughter co-slept with me until she was 3 and gradually went to her big girl bed and no harm done! I would not let her cry it out or "Ferberize" because it will be really traumatic for you and her. Google the pros and cons of this before you try it- I've read that he's recanted most of his methods because it is actually DAMAGING to a child's airways, etc. not to mention psyche.

I would get a bed rail or two- they're fairly cheap at Walmart or Target or you can even find them free in your local FreeCycle group!

They stay young for a short time and you'll miss waking up with that sweet smiling face next to yours- it was always my favorite thing and now my daughter is 7 years old and I can't believe it!!!

Otherwise, how about putting the crib in your room (I would do it immediately when you return home- the first night- and soothe her with your voice and some pats on the back, etc.) You can always move the crib further and further away until she's in another room if needed. Some people even "sidecar" cribs to their beds- make sure the crib mattress is level with your bed mattress and there is not a crack for her to fall into. If you want more info about this, try this link:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?f=37

M.

My daughter slept with me in my bed for the first 6 months of her life and then I transitioned her into her crib, we shared a room at the time so obviously this wasn't too stressful a transition. However, when we moved and she got her own bedroom, some nights (even now) she wants to sleep in mom's bed. Instead, I grab a pillow and a blanket and lay down next to her crib until she has fallin back to sleep. And yes sometimes you just have to let them cry, BUT, it's hard and this is a much more relzxing method of getting her in her own bed! Best of luck to you...

A few thoughts I had for you...

If the main motivation for you wanting to transition her to her crib is safety, please know there are many safe ways to co-sleep. You can place your boxspring and mattress on the floor, shortening the distance to the ground. If you place it along the wall, baby can sleep between you and the wall safely. Babies learn quickly how to back down off the bed without being hurt. Others mentioned safety rails and even using the crib alongside your bed, all of which are great options. We have never had any issues with our children falling out of our bed.

If you are interested in making the transition, a few suggestions.... If you are trying to transition her off nursing to sleep while also transitioning her from your bed, I would pick one to focus on first. Maybe help her learn to sleep without nursing in your bed, and then transition her to her own bed. It might be very hard for her to try to lose both of those comforts at once.

Using the crib as a sidecar can help to ease the transition since baby will get used to sleeping in that space with you near before you set her up with the crib on her own.

There are so many approaches, and I don't know all your parenting philosophies, but it seems to me that since you have chosen to nurse and cosleep you might be happier with a slower, more gentle transition. Sleep can be such a battle but it doesn't need to be if we remember how short a period it is that our children need us so intensely.

Good luck and happy sleeping!

A.

Whatever it is that you decide to do - stick with it!!! Don't try to put her in her crib one night and let her cry it out then feel guilty on night two and let her back in the bed then say "well, we'll try by the weekend". You want to child to have some consistency in your methods so she can understand what will be happening and then learn to adjust.

I'd recommend reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth.

I think after a month of sleeping with you it will be hard for her to go "cold turkey". Even as an adult, I have a hard time falling asleep when my husband isn't there. Maybe you could try weening her off by letting her fall asleep with you, if she is falling asleep with you currently and then moving her once she is fast asleep. I would think it may be tough for the first week, she may wake up and be scared that you aren't next to her, but she will adjust. It may help if you start out with her crib in your room so that she can still sense that you are close by.

D.