38 answers

I Miss "My Time"!

O.K. so I know this is going to sound awful but….

My husband and I have been happily married for 10 years. For the most part of our marriage he worked nights. About 3 months ago his scheduled changed and now he is home every night.

Here is the thing = when he worked nights, after I put the kids to sleep, I would get “my time” and watch the programs I recorded on my T.V. I don’t have time to watch T.V. during the day especially with 2 kids and I work part-time. I LOVED those nights where I could just curl up in front of the T.V. with a glass of wine and decompress. If it wasn’t from work, it was from a day of chores, errands and driving the kids here to there (sports), paying bills, helping with homework, etc. You all KNOW what I mean!

Now he is home every night and he wants to watch T.V. If it isn’t sports (Lakers Games are huge in our house right now) it’s something else. He does not like the shows I watch. When I’ve said to him it would be nice if I could get the T.V. every once in awhile he says stuff like “I work long hours and all I want to do is watch T.V. on my big screen and relax.” Basically the T.V. is his now. It’s like he will not even compromise. Why are men like that with the house T.V.? It’s so annoying! Before when he worked late, during his breaks/lunch hour he would go into the break room where they kept a large screen T.V. and the guys would watch sports, etc. When his hours changed so did his work location that does not have a break room like the other.

We still get our time together where we talk about our days and future stuff and what we like to do before we go to sleep if you know what I mean **wink wink**
But why do I miss that alone time I used to have??

I miss my time so much that I wish my husband was back to working nights! LOL =-) Can anyone empathize with me? What would you do and do you get “me” time? What do you do? We don’t fight about this so maybe I’m just venting.

3 moms found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

It was fun reading all these responses! So many of you suggested I buy a T.V. for our bedroom with a cable box that I am seriously considering doing that. Last night I made that comment and my daughter looked at me shocked and said "You? You're thinking about buying something that YOU don't need but that YOU just "want"????" HAHAHAHA It was so funny because I'm so frugal that I never spend money on myself but make sure my husband & kids are always taken care of. Maybe it's about time I took care of myself! I even joked around that maybe it's time that I started getting my nails done every week!

Thanks Ladies!
Thanks to those who could empathize. It's nice to know that you understand me =-)

Oh and I talked with my husband about this last night. He said that instead of staying home and watching the game tonight he would go to the sports bar down the street with the neighbors to go watch it. YEA! We’re compromising!!

Featured Answers

I totally feel ya! I always hear women compain about their husbands wanting to "go out with the guys" and I am the opposite. I am more than happy to see him go off and have fun for a bit so I can get a quiet night alone after the kids go to bed to have a glass of wine and watch a movie I like or something! I completely understand.

4 moms found this helpful

I agree... I think it's time to buy another TV. :)

That's the way BOTH of you relax after a long day, and you both deserve to. Why compromise?

2 moms found this helpful

do you only have one tv? I would end up killing my husband if that were the case. We have a tv upstairs, one downstairs, one in the bed room and one in the kitchen. I would try to get another one to decompress in front of if I were you. :-)

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

OMG.. Why did this make me so angry?!!!!
He needs to learn to share. You work long hours too doing an even more important job, raising children, keeping a home running, making sure everyone is fed, clothed and staying healthy..You deserve to watch the Big TV too.. How dare he make it seem like he is more entitled than you...

It should be 50 /50.

For fathers day, purchase a TV with a DVD and place it in another room. When both of you want the TV for an important show take turns for who watches the big TV..

9 moms found this helpful

Tell your husband that he'll have to forgive the messy house, unfolded laundry and sandwiches for dinner because you were catching up on your shows during the day so as not to interfere with his precious TV time at night. Oh, what's that, Honey? You don't LIKE the messy house and cold dinner? Well, do you have a better time for me to watch MY shows? Do I ever get a turn? Or would you prefer to buy me another TV (with DVR, of course) so I can also "relax after MY long hours"?

All kidding aside, what he's doing to you is really unfair and I think you need to bring it to his attention that it bothers you. You say you haven't fought about it, but if you let it go, it will keep eating away at you and you'll resent him more and more because of it. Then when you finally DO fight about it (and you eventually will), he'll be like "WHY didn't you say anything? I had no idea you felt this strongly! I can't read your mind, ya know!" and it'll be a bigger fight than if you just calmly assert your TV rights now.

7 moms found this helpful

YES! You have to split the tv. It's not HIS -it belongs to both of you! Luckily my husband and I usually watch the same things, but I love it when he's gone at night. If it was like your house, we would have to split the tv nights 50/50 -that's the only fair way!

6 moms found this helpful

You could play dirty. I love my husband but when he is a baby and has an attitude or has to keep the tv on all night and the light and the fan, I withhold sex. Do it for as long as he feels the need to not share. And when he gets pissed, because he will, lay it on the line and tell him again that you want your tv time too.
Then get another big screen tv for you.
Or you could be nice and try talking to him until you are blue in the face. That doesn't help, Hit him where it counts.

5 moms found this helpful

I agree with Christina! Get another TV, even if you buy a used one at a yard sale. Most of the time you can get a second Tivo for $5 on your cable bill. Then you can watch all your shows while your husband luxuriates in front of "his" big screen. LOL

I know exactly what you mean though - my husband loves to watch boxing, mixed martial arts, rugby... ugh. I hate all of it. For my part, I am not super into TV, but I do love to read, so when he fires up the big screen TV, I go read my book in another room. At first he started to get into a snit because I wouldn't sit there with him and watch his stupid sports, until I pointed out that he won't sit and watch 19 Kids and Counting with me! lol Anyhow, you can still have your time while he's having his time, as long as you can convince him to keep the Lakers game down to a dull roar. =) Good luck!

5 moms found this helpful

make a timecard for yourself! "clock in" any time you spend taking care of kids, household chores, working, etc... write down what you are doing and how long it takes. When he tells you he works long hours, pull out your timecard and compare! then come up with a fair compromise with tv time for both of you. :)

~you don't sound horrible, you sound like you are trying to retain your sanity!

5 moms found this helpful

Hello, My husband also worked nights for a while. I also enjoyed the time alone. When he returned to working days, I missed that time too. I just had to adjust to it. Eventually, I did. However, my husband shared the t.v. very well. He would even go in the bedroom when he wanted to watch something during time that I would watch something else. Well, in March, my husband suddenly died. Now I would give anything for him to be back, even if he hogged the t.v. Your husband should share the t.v. and allow you some time to watch your shows.
Good luck with your precious family.
K. K.

5 moms found this helpful

I do not have your problem because I RULE IN MY HOUSE....jajajajaja... I am kidding...as others say, buy a kitchen T.V. and leave the big BOY with the BIG SCREEM...it sounds silly...but, isn't it funny why we fight for silly things sometimes? We are animals of habits and when those habits are disrupted, we get a little bit mad. I have a little kitchen T. V where I usually use when wanting to get away from everyone and watch my shows

5 moms found this helpful

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