I Have Become So Confused!!!

Updated on April 02, 2007
T.S. asks from Marrero, LA
25 answers

My daughter is 6 years old and is very smart. The problems just seem to unknown. She was recently diagnosed with ADHD and was put on adderall xr 10 mgs a day. She has always ahd a problem in school but i am not sure why. Her conduct gardes are excellent but her classwork grades are straight F's. Even the teachers seem stumped. The information goes in but does not come out. Then about 3 weeks later she will say somethign that i know she learned 3 weeks prior. I am so lost adn confused at this point. Theteacher says the medicine is helping soke as she now sits still in her desk but doesnt do her work or zones her out. Her handwriting is horrble and she can only read about 10 words per minute. She is in 1st grade and am positive she will fail this year. That isnt bother me what does bother me is seeing her frustration ....i am afraid this is ruining her enjoyment for school.I am so confused and lost as to what to do to help it makes me cry everynight when i think of her pain. Any hints or ideas that may help me. Does any other parent have a child that just cant get it and dont know why?

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So What Happened?

Hi just wanted to thank everyone for the advice as I was concerned fro a long time myself that she was dyslexic but did not want to swa anyone else opinions By stating my thoughts. Thank ya'll so much. I have discussed it with her doctor and am pushing for her to be tested for it. I will not rest until i can get her the help she needs adn deserves. I know in my heart she is very bright adn has a world of potentioal. I will never give up and I will keep everyone posted. She will repeat the first grade but i am not upset about it i just wnat her to be able to function in class without the fears adn frustrations that come with a child having learning disabilities.

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H.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I believe Millerville Acadeny is a school for kids with ADD and ADHD. My stepson has ADHD and went there.

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C.

answers from Houston on

I am experiencing the same kind of frustation with my daughter. She is 6 and is in Kindergarten. Her teacher says that she is below grade level in pretty much everything and just can not focus or concentrate on her work. She is not excited about school anymore and doesn't really want to go. This week she started taking Aderall XR 10 mg and will see if this helps. I also have cried and stressed over this because I really didn't want to put her on medication. Other people tell me how smart or bright that she is but she just can't seem to transfer it to paper. I would greatly appreciate passing along any feedback or recommendations that you might receive from others. Thanks. I also am confused.

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W.P.

answers from Houston on

Dear T.:
Adderall is addictive and dangerous. I agree with the other poster that it only sedates your daughter - ADHD is a convenient, often inaccurate diagnosis these days.

My ex-wife got hooked on Adderall and a lot of bad stuff resulted (cheating, stealing, other drugs, divorce). Also, if the dose gets higher (20-30mg or up), you cannot stop it cold turkey, or you may cause cardiac arrest.

I would go the route of direct tutoring by a professional - either a psychologist or school councelor or a center like Sylvan with lots of experience in targeting specific learning difficulties and disabilities. Your daughter may qualify for an impairment, which can help immensely when it comes to holding her back. If she knows the stuff 3 weeks later, she is not really behind, and if she is smart as you say she'll easily catch up, once her learning issue has been resolved.

Perhaps she can explain her thought process when doing her work. Is her homework bad, too, or just the classwork? The latter may be other factors like intimidation, being blinded by the sun or extreme shyness.

My 2 cents is to lay off on the medication. True ADHD children are hyper at all times and stop paying attention after a short while, none of which you described.

Regards,
W.

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C.G.

answers from New Orleans on

it sounds like your child either doesn't suffer from adhd or as if she is wrongly medicated (this coming from a former adhd kid who medication helped immensely through middle school). if it's not helping her in the concentration arena then the medication is basically just keeping her sedated. you need to talk to her doctor and her teacher and figure out why this might be happening. maybe she needs to be in a more personalized learing environment. but whatever you do don't give up. be persistent, until you figure it out. and while learning may be a chore at school because of mix ups and mishaps involving the teaching atmosphere, make sure that learning doesn't stop at the classroom door. get her involved in learning activities and reading books at home that will stimulate her if the classroom fails to do so.

sincerest good luck wishes,
C.

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A.E.

answers from College Station on

if she already had good conduct, does she really need the drugs? Maybe she is dyslexic. If you can catch that at such a young age you could save her from years of frustration. That's the only other thing I can think of.

Hope that helps.

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V.D.

answers from Shreveport on

T.,
I understand your fustration and confusion. I have an 11 yr old that was diagnoised with ADHD in 1st grade and he did not do well on the medications. We then took him off and in second grade the same thing. His reading was poor, his attention spand was short. It was like he just was not getting it. He necame more fustrated.
SO we began to look at different things. First, we requested that the school test him for learning disabilities. Nothing. Took him to the Dr. for evaluations. His ADHD was misdiagnoised it was then "Impulse Control Disorder" instead and we learned that many children with ADHD are infact Impulse Control instead. The medication is different instead of giving stimulates it is treated with mild anti depressents. His sleep is better and his behavior was never a problem. He just would never slow down. Once that was in place. His school work was better but he was still not up to speed with the others. He complained of not being able to read right. IN 4th grade the school test him for dyslexia. They will not do this till 4th grade. Sure enough he had dyslexia and dysgraphia. His handwritting was horrible. After a year of the school giving him retraining in reading and writting and him being in the 5th grade this year. He is up to speed with his class work. HE is no longer on medication for Impulse Disorder because his fustration was due to not being able to process the letters and words and he felt inadiquate with his class mates. Not impulse disorder. This year in school his grades are B's and C's and he has earned a field trip to New Orleans with his class. I say all this because medication is not always the answer to a childs struggles. I am not against medication, sometimes it is needed but I have learned to find the root cause. I hope this helps and gives you some things to look at.

Sincerely,
VickyD

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M.K.

answers from Monroe on

"She was dx with ADD and a Visual Perception Disability (form of dyslexia)"

I was just going to say that it sounds like something visual, dyslexia or other visual problem going on.

Most of my family is mildly dyslexic and has mild/moderate hearing loss (my neice is in the severe hearing loss/profoundly deaf category, and my uncle has no perception of sound in the left ear but only very mild loss in the right). My uncle struggled more in school because of the severity of the dyslexia and hearing loss, but graduated from college, has above average intelligence and coaches girls basketball and track at a high school now. After realizing that certain tinted patterns on my brothers glasses affected his preceptions of spacing and straight lines his grades greatly improved until he became a rebellious teenager (but...that's life).

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D.Y.

answers from Houston on

I was told that my daughter was ADD when she was in 2nd grade. We did Adderall for a few months, but that did not make the grades improve nor did it help her focus. What it did was give her headaches every night, loss of appetite, weight loss . . . she was miserable. Although she was not failing, we all knew that she could do better. Now that she's in 5th grade, things are better, but she still has trouble focusing. I have to meet with her teachers at least twice a year to go over the issues and try to come up with solutions.

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H.T.

answers from New Orleans on

Hello I have a sister who has 2 boys they are 10 months a part they are 4 and 5 and in kindergareden and the same thing happened to her, so she took them off the medication and told the teacher she was not going to drug her children to make the teachers job easier.it took them a little while to adjustand their father talked to them and told they they have to try to pay attention or no playing when they got home. they are doing well. what did they do years ago before drugs.you cannot tell me kids were not hyper. This makes me very upset because I have a step son he is 5 (living out of state)and they wanted to put him on medication my husband said no. what 5 yeart old do you know who will sit quietly and pay attention for hours. none. he finally adjusted and is doing well. Medication free. I am sorry but I think medicating children this young is very dangerous there has to be another way H.

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J.J.

answers from Jonesboro on

my daughter was dianosed with ADHD as well last summer at age 7. We had a simular experience with school. She had to repeat 1st grade and I believe it was a good thing. She has matured enough to accept the things in school. At the end of school last year she was only reading at a level 10 and to progress to 2nd she needed to be level 16. Her math skill suffered too. What helped her when she started school this year was she was confident and has held straight a's. Her math still isn't her best subject but she's improving. But right now she is ready level 24 way up into 2nd grade level.
I did ask her doctor about the adderall med's. He informed me that is for more serious types of ADHD and it might be possible as she gets older to put her on this. But he started her out on 10mg of concerta and increased her to 27mg. It lasts all the day up till around 8pm. She is never zoned out and that was my MAIN concerned because I have a friend with a daughter with ADHD + other issues and she has her on SO much meds that at 3:30 she'll be sitting there eating fries and zoned out and the fries just drop out of her hands. It saddens me to see her like that.
Perhaps just talk with her dr and see ifhe won't switch meds. She don't need to zone out. PERIOD!
That is not what meds are for.
GOod luck and I'll keep you in my prayers I know what ur going through.
Jan
another thing I went through is last year before Christmas vacation we had a parent teachers conference and there was issues. I ASKED FOR HER TO BE TESTED! The teacher informed me that it wasn't that bad yet to lets wait. (at this time her advancement wasn't in jeopardy) So about 5 weeks before end of school THEN she requests her to be tested and counseled etc. I was furious. I thought ya know if she would of listened to me at the beginning of the year chances are my daughter would have went onto 2nd grade with all her friends. I even demanded she NOT be put back in with that teacher and the Principal let me choose which teacher she would have this year. This teacher is VERY creative and focus' on positive behavior instead of negetive.

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R.F.

answers from New Orleans on

I have read all of the other responses and I have to agree with those that said you should have her tested for dyslexia. What you are going through sounds exactly what my brother-in-law went through with my niece. They told him that she had ADHD but she could concentrate and sit still at home. She was finally tested for dyslexia and her grades improved, her reading improved and her self-esteem improved as she no longer felt "stupid as a rock" as she used to put it. (ADHD affects kids ALL DAY not just during school- my brother has ADHD also). Talk to your pediatrician about a referral to get her tested for the dyslexia. Good luck!

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L.R.

answers from Shreveport on

Perhaps you could request to see the school counselor to request more testing for other problems your daughter may have. Also, request to see the school psychiatrist so that they can work with your daughter and she doesn't become depressed or too stressed about the whole situation. I also lean towards the fact that ADD/ADHD are WAAAAAY over-diagnosed and most kids that are put on meds really don't need them, but that is my personal opinion and you have to do whatever you feel is right for your family and situation. My son was mis-diagnosed with ADHD when he was younger & after a year of convincing me, I agreed to try medication for a time...didn't last long b/c I didn't like the effects on him. Also, ADD/ADHD CAN be treated in other means other than medication, so I'm all for trying everything else first before resorting to drugs. Again...all my own opinion. But, gather info on things that are going on with your daughter so you have them to present to any doctor you may see about what's going on!

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T.M.

answers from Fort Smith on

i also have a six year old but he is kindney garden...he has adhd as well but there started him on statrea(sorry can not spell)it was helping a little bit but he was so defiant and got into trouble because he did not want to do his work in school so i took him back to the doctor and they put him on zapraxa(of farts i did it again my, spelling is autroics. beleve it or not it has helped a whole lot as long as i give him all his medicine at night and make sure he gets plenty of sleep.he has even started coloring again...you might have to ask your doctor about more or differnt medinine for her. you are not the only one that gets upset watching your child becomeing frustrated about his or hers homework. my son is so far behind i do not think he will ever catch up but i am not giving up i am going to try to get him ssi so that i can get him a tutor at home but right now he has a tutor at calming connections....calming connections is a special place where my son gets counseling....i wish you luck....your friend T.

W.S.

answers from Little Rock on

I would bring her back to the doctor immediately and tell him/her that the aderol is NOT working. Has she been tested for autism? She might have been misdiagnosed. Maybe she is having an adverse effect from the aderol. In any case, they need to find out what is wrong, because she is falling way behind. That is probably one reason she is so frustrated.

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D.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Have you had her 'privately tested'?
I don't know where you are, but I WAS in East Baton Rouge Parish... and let's just say... they had NO idea of what my daughters issue was or how to help her. I choked up the $450 to have her privately tested by a Speech and Language Pathologist and now.. that we have an accurate dx... she is doing GREAT! She was dx with ADD and a Visual Perception Disability (form of dyslexia). Well, she also discovered something that I already knew about my child... she is GIFTED AND TALENTED! She is two standard deviations above normal... but at the time couldn't read, horrible handwriting and being punished every day because she refused to speak unless she was allowed to speak in an British accent!!! She was surely going to fail the first grade... which only made her more frustrated and have lower self esteem. Once she started her medicine for ADD, she was able to concentrate enough that she does not even need help with the dyslexia... she has figured out her own way around it. Now, she is in the third grade, in the gifted and talented program and has tons of friends.
Don't give up and as hard as it is... try not to show your frustation for the situation in front of her.
And... DO NOT COUNT ON the school to do what is in the best interest of your child. While some teachers and school boards try their best... they have 50 other kids needing the same thing! Take the matter into your own hands!

ps. She does a GREAT British accent... and has been told by many that she should be an actress!!! I actually beg her to speak with the accent now... I love to listen to it!!!!

Edit***********
No disrespect to any previous posters. But please do not panic over the medication. While the one she is on, may not be the right one for her but it doesn't mean that she does not need it or that she will become addicted and/or end up suffering from Cardiac Arrest. Different meds work for different people. And any med can become addictive if it is not used properly and/or the person has an 'addictive' personality. While I am the FIRST to say everyone should 'question' their doctors and do their own research... there also comes a time that you have to trust the person you've put in charge of your health care. There is a reason they have that degree on their wall. Yes, you have to trust your own instincts and NO, do not take everything they say as GOLD... YES, get a second and third opinion if you are still not satisfied... but there comes a point when you have to trust that person knows what they are doing!!!

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T.

answers from Houston on

I feel for you and hope that maybe you will get the advice you need. My thoughts would be have you had her checked for dyslexia, I have a brother-in-law who has this and he had a terrible time in school. I would also ask if she can hear. I have a step-daughter that started doing very poorly in school when she had been a straight A student when we found out that she had the hearing of an 80 year old. We had her hearing checked and they ended up putting tubes in both ears. Her grades improved and we had our A student back.

Just a few ideas. I hope that you find your answer.

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K.M.

answers from Beaumont on

T.,

I to have a child (1st grade also) with difficulties in school but do to A.D.D. The medication he takes is for a child with A.D.H.D though. It is non addicting for him either and I have had great results with it. It is Straterra. Not sure if you had tried that or not but he is a completely different child on it. Focused, inquisitive, excited about learning, and happy that his ggrades are going up as well. He even notices a difference and is helpful when it comes to taking his medicine. He is getting his work done in class and not getting in trouble anymore too. He also is not off in la-la land anymore. Sometimes you have to play with the medicines as the Dr.'s say to find the one that covers everything perfectly that your daughter is having difficulty with. My son was on ritalin and only after being on it for 1 week he became a very violent and angry person. I understand where you are coming from and hope that you find what you need to make you as well as your daughter feel better. I also am a teacher's aide at my childrens school so i see a big difference in my son while he is in class too. Best of luck to you in finding the right meds or alternative for your daughter. Have a great St. Patrick's Day as well.

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D.L.

answers from Houston on

Maybe you should see what happens if they lower the dosage. My mother has 4 foster children. 3 of the 4 are on Medicine and 2 of them are using this medicine. My biological brother also has taken this medicine. And also a nephew. All of them have very different reactions to this medicine but, they are all on different dosages. Try that and see what happens.
Good luck!

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P.L.

answers from Houston on

My sister-in-law is a teacher here in Santa Fe ISD, and has told me that there are several different types of issues that are hard to determine. There are some kids, she said, who have trouble seeing things printed on white paper - they need colored papers. Personally, I don't believe in ADHD and putting the kids on medication - they are active because they'r kids and they're supposed to be active! That said, again, my S-I-L agrees with your daughter's teacher - generally the medication for adhd tends to zone the kid out. Sometimes it's not so bad if she needs to walk around the room. That's all she's doing. I wish I could help you more, but for now all I can say is to have her tested for all the different learning trouble problems. There should be someone in your district capable of evaluating her accurately.

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T.L.

answers from Lafayette on

My son is 12 and I am going thru a similiar situtation and have been for a very long time. I am still struggling to find out what is right and what will work for him as of today. I really feel your pain and wish that someone would have helped me out a long time ago.
I have found these issues out thru reading books on ADHD and I also work at a university so I am inquiring thru Psychology professors here as well.
These suggestions that I will make to you are just things that I have found out from the time he was diagnosed which was around 7 or 8 years old up till now. First of all, you need to have her seen by either a pediatrician or a family doctor who can run blood test for you. This will check alot of different areas that these doctors who are diagnosing these children today with ADHD are not checking into. These tests will check to make sure that she is not having thyroid problems or any other problem that may not be noticeable to you. Just tell them that you need a blood test because she was diagnosed by a doctor as having ADHD and you want to make sure there are no other problems and they are misdiagnosing her condition. This is where I would start off first.
Secondly, I would get her in to see a Pediatric Psychologist. This person can make the right diagnosis and give the correct meds and also knows what kinds of evaluations and testing that needs to be done for this child. I brougt my son to his pediatrican because I didn't know where to go-- and that was who made his diagnoses of ADHD. Before I got smart to the situation he had my son at the end on two different ADHD medicines and just one of his pills was around 108mg. Alot of doctors who I inquired to about this told me that it was way too much mg's for a child his age and weight. My son is very tiny for his age.
He is now seeing a Psychiatrist for his ADHD and his medicine has been changed but I still don't see a change in his behavior. So I also made the mistake of letting another doctor refer us to this Psychiatrist when they should have refered us to someone that deals with children like the pediatric psychiatrist. This person specializes with children and can deal with diagnosing and evaluating these children.
Thirdly, I would also get family counseling thru a clinican or some support group. This is where both of you can get help. She can get help with her anger and you can get help with learning how to deal with the child especially during her temper stage.
Fourthly, from experience I can only tell you that you will need all the support that you can get. I am still struggling to get to the point where we have made it better and things have settled down but until then I have learned not to give up and throw in the towel. You have to keep searching and struggling with the situation no matter how fustrated you become.
And I can tell you from experience as well that you want to deal with this now and don't wait it out cause as they get older it gets worse. The tempers flare more and more and they become more and more dangerous to themselves and there loved ones. Right now she is 6 and still young so you have alot of time to control the situation now rather than later. I am dealing with my son who becomes out of control and it could be something minor that triggers it. But not getting the exact information on how to deal and cope with this for a long time it is now that I find out that the medicines that they have him may also be triggering his aggressions. I have had to move out of my home that I lived in for over 5years because he and his stepfather as time went on could no longer live together. I was constantly having to seperate the two of them which made tension on me and my husband. We are seperated at the moment and because he is willing to seek help with us to resolve these issues between him and my son maybe one day I will eventually be able to move back. But for now this is the only solution that I can make and to keep from really destroying our family.
So be careful with the medicines that they put her on and remember even though they call themselves doctors and they think they know best she is your daughter and there is no one else who knows better of what she needs. So if you feel that what the doctors are doing is not working, helping or doesn't feel right to you let them know and if need be find another doctor until your satisfied. And remember to keep reading and seeking knowledge daily on this condition cause the doctors sure won't tell us what we need to know. They don't want to cure everyone then who would be their patients.
Good Luck and stay on track!
T. L

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M.D.

answers from Lafayette on

Hi T. S.,

My son was diagnosed ADHD, ODD when he was in the 4th grade he was put on three different meds and things did not get any better. My son is now 20 yrs old and he takes no meds. He is still a little hyper, but he is so much better than he was on meds. I'm not tell you to quit giving her meds, but the doctor that you go to might have to adjust the meds or try something else be sure to call the doctor and explain what your daughter is doing or not doing.

M. D.

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L.W.

answers from Beaumont on

I haven't read the other responses but maybe there is something more going on. If her handwriting and reading are affected, I'd maybe test for dyslexia and some other learning disabilities. She is probably very frustrated. If her behavior is good, then she is probably trying very hard.
Good luck!

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K.S.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Have you had her tested for dyslexia? I've worked with dyslexic kids before and I know they have a hard time remembering information that's taught to them in the traditional way, even though most of them are so intelligent that it just knocks your socks off.

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J.C.

answers from Houston on

When I was younger and still in school I had a lot of good friends that were on adderall and ridlin. Everyday they would take their medication they would become zombies, zone out and just didnt care. I am one that does not believe in a child having ADHA or ADD, I think Dr. are diagnosing these kids because they are wanting money. I believe that all children are hyper and that it is a stage in life that we all go through and with time it should fade. As for her grades it could be that she is bored in the class and may need something more to stimulate her during the day. Her frustration could be caused by her coming down off the "high" from the medication. My bestfriend would explain to me that when the pills would weare off he would be so mad over nothing. When he finally told his parents that he was not going to take them anymore he started to feel better. I dont know if this help any but I wish you luck.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I'm not a doctor, but I wonder if she may have some sort of learning disability besides the ADHD, or if the ADHD is a misdiagnosis. With true ADHD, the meds (which are actually stimulants) improve the child's ability to concentrate, they don't cause them to zone out. Have you had her evaluated for dyslexia? It could be that her frustration (and her ADHD behaviors) are being caused by the fact that her brain is scrambling information.
I have a ggod friend whose son is extremely bright and is also autistic. He's hyperauditory (as she puts it, the kid can hear his own pulse), and he gets thrown by loud noises. She took him out of public school and put him in a Montessori school, and he is thriving there.

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