47 answers

I Feel Alone Here

I am wondering how many moms on here agree with baby wearing, breast feeding for over a year old, home schooling, whole organic food diets, holding back on academic education and other non-mainstream ways of living.

I have read many posts about not BFing after 6 months and crying it out scenerios, and early academics, et cetera.

I feel like I am in a group that doesn't quit fit me. Am I wrong? I hope I am.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement.

I am constantly researching but consistently practicing what I believe is the best for my family. If you knew me, you would know that I do not allow myself to be influenced easily and I stick to my beliefs.

I feel like I am in the minority sometimes and reading lots of mainstream posts with advise towards mainstream practices left me feeling a little frustrated. But, I know that every family is different and their needs vary. I am open to sharing my thoughts and reading others. I should apologized now, I just get a bit passionate sometimes, esp. about education (I am a trained teacher in both public and Waldorf curriculum) and diet (as I believe that diet is the key to health).

As you may know, Ithaca, NY (where I live) is a progressive town with so much support for alternative education (school or home based), baby wearing, breastfeeding (I've met mothers who BFed until their children were 6), organic & biodynamic CSAs (community supported agriculture) and other green & alternative to main-stream living. So, I am very supported in my town.

I look forward to sharing opinions, facts, and ideals with you all.
Thank you again.

Warmly,
P. and Family

Featured Answers

I consider myself an attachment parent. I still breastfeed my 12 month old daughter and plan to continue for as long as she wants. I wore her against my skin for a week after she was born and continued to carry her this way for months until I could wear her on my back. We co-sleep and do so until she is ready to sleep on her own. I don't let her CIO.

I definitely don't think you are alone!
However, I would suggest joining the AP Rochester yahoo group, they have many of the same beliefs and are a very active group! Good Luck!!

C.
Mommy to Jessie, Katie and Julia
www.TimetoChangetheDiapers.com
Adorable, affordable cloth diapers and reusable items for babies, kids and Moms!

You Are Not Alone!
I have three sons. I breastfed the first one until he was almost two, my second until he was three, and my third until he was two. I have never let my babies cry it out, and they all spent a lot of time in the front and backpack. I home schooled the first two for a couple years then they all went to an alternative school. My boys are 14, 12, and 8 and are now in public school (not my first choice) but it is working out well. They are healthy and happy!

More Answers

Hi Pricilla
First I want to say you arent alone. While I dont agree with everything you may say or do, Im not judging you for making any of the decisions you make for you or your family.
I am a firm believer in doing what is right for you and your family first. If that truly makes you happy then why question it?
I loved breast feeding but in my life, doing it for over a year just wasnt an option. Organic food is THE BEST! I love buying all natural or as close as I can get but am not strict on it. If my daughter is going to a birthday party or family function, I will not single her out or deny her something she wants.
I also started my daughter early on in academics. She is a very smart little girl, eager to learn, read, color, etc. I wanted to feed that growing mind of hers! Shes only four and can read and write her own name, she knows her entire alphabet, all her numbers up to 50. She speaks like a 10 year old sometimes.

Im just trying to point out that what works for you is whats best. Who cares what others do. For the longest time I compared myself to what others were doing and how other people lived and was very unhappy. I realized that I need to do what is right for me, my daughter and our family first.

I have read alot of responses on here and this group seems nonjudgemental and very nice. We just like to give out ideas that have worked for us in situations. Some work some dont and we are all moms/wifes/girlfriends learning by trial and error.

Feel free to talk to me about anything! Im always up for new ideas and listening!

Jenna

2 moms found this helpful

One of the greatest lessons I have learned since I have become a Mom is that you must your heart and instincts. Everything you have mentioned here is a valid and legitimate way to raise your children, if that is what feels right to you then it is the right thing for you to do. Personally, I loved wearing my son as a baby (for as long as my back could stand it) and I am a huge believer in extended breastfeeding. My son is 17 months old and still breastfeeding, and I am 23 weeks pregnant with my second. It is the right choice for both of us to continue and I dearly hope to tandem nurse my two sons when the baby is born. (Another thing that a lot of people do not consider to be a mainstream activity) I am so glad you reached out when you felt alone, parenting is wonderful but challenging and we can all use as much help and support as we can get.

1 mom found this helpful

I felt alone too for a long time. I believe in BFing until its apparent you and your child are done. I BF my son & daughter until they were 14 months & 16 months, they were done. They drink Hormone & anti-biotic free milk, I could no longer afford Organic. As much as possible, they drink water or watered down organic juice.(No High Fructose Corn Syrup stuff) I drive to Trader Joes in Orange once a week in order to buy good food for less money. I never let my kids Cry-It-Out, for godsakes they were babies, how else can they communicate their NEEDS and FEARS. I taught my kids sign-language so they wouldn't get frustrated because they couldn't tell me what they wanted. I believed in Home-Schooling, however, I'm giving public school in North Branford a chance. My son is in Kindergarten and I'm involved in the PTO, I talk with his teacher and principal, I volunteer, I plan to raise hell if need be. I have my daughter (3 yr-old) in Pre-School 2x/week, not because she needs to learn her ABC's or Numbers, but to enjoy different sceenery, different toys, and to learn how to have some friends besides her brother. If you met her you'd understand that her personality requires this type of stimulation. My kids are in Karate as well. I take my kids to accupuncture and the chiropractor...I can't stand Dr's. (oops, I may be a little more strange than most.) I'm okay with being different, because my kids are healthy, well-behaved, and happy.

They're my angels sent from heaven, God appointed me to be their parent for a reason. I'm not taking that God-given job lightly.

1 mom found this helpful

I AM WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think breast milk is GOLD! I feel that personaly I would have gone to a year, but dried up at 7 months :(, but couldn't feed a child that could walk up to me and ask for milk. LOL. But I feel more that it is important to breats feed if you are comfortable with it. The feelings you have are picked up so much by your child. So if a woman feels ok with it more power to her. Why not give your child the best as long as you can or feel comfy doing so!

You are not alone! I do feel that way sometimes though. When I say something to someone about public schooling or what kinds of children the current world is trying to create I get looks like I have three heads.

1 mom found this helpful

You are so not alone! I nursed my son for 2 years, used slings as long as he'd stad it, used cloth diapers until he potty trained (when with us--7th generation or Nature Boy diapers when at daycare), he slept with us until he turned 5 and he decided to sleep in his own bedroom.

When we go grocery shopping he inadvertently shames other shoppers when he asks if he can have something, we read the list of ingredients and he says, "uh oh, it has high fructose corn syrup"! (I've seen more than one shopper's jaw drop, then they put something back on the shelves). We eat as much organic food as we can afford and once the ground thaws out I'm building a compost heap in the back and putting in an organic garden. His teachers always remark that his lunch always looks delicious--probably because it's not beige!

He goes to a pre-k program and went to daycare (no where near full time) starting at 15 months because he would walk to the front door, shake the doorknob and say "see people" over and over again, so I realized that for an only child staying home with mom and homeschooling wasn't going to cut it--for him. Schhol was the right choice for him and he is thriving there. We use a lot of homeopathic and herbal remedies, and his pediatricians always remark that they never see him outside of his annual physical.

I see advice on many of these postings that don't fit my ideals or my situation, but that doesn't mean that it's not right for someone else.

1 mom found this helpful

You're not alone in one most important sense, We are all mothers. We are all trying to do our best and support each other without judgement. We all have our own beliefs and ideas etc, but I don't think any mother would be on this sight obviously if they weren't open to other people's suggestions and advice. Like most of the responses said, It's not right or wrong, but what works best for each family. So don't write us off, we have our own experiences to offer and I think if most are like me, I am very interested and appreciative of your point of view! If you feel like you are in the minority, more reason why your voice needs to be heard here as well.

1 mom found this helpful

Women all over the world breastfeed their children for several years... I think you have to sit down and evaluate what is important to you and what is best for your child...I just stopped nursing my last son at 16months....I have friends who never nursed and friends who did for a little while and friends who nurse for 2 or more years....I nursed for as long as I felt comfortable and for as long as I felt it fit with my family...babywearing seems to be becoming more mainstream but so what if you like it do it, if not don't. As far as education goes research has shown that we learn the most in our first 7 years, that doesn't mean you need to shove books down the kids throat, teach them through life and expirences...let them help you in the kitchen, teach them how to clean...and explain why we do things, use money not credit and let them understand the concept of money and paying, go to the zoo, park....you get my drift....figure out what works for you and understand that you are not alone, you are a mother who wants the best for her children the only difference between you and the rest of us is the best for you is as individual as you are. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Well, let's see - our oldest daughter is 25(married with 1 son), next daughter is 23(teaching English in China), then a 21 yo daughter(working and living with boyfriend), 1 son(finishing up homeschooling but no plans for a future), and our "baby" who's 9 already. I have run the whole gamut of child rearing ideas - we have always homeschooled, I wore my babies as much as feasible, we had family bed as often as possible, we started out very well with eating natural foods only, we can and freeze ALOT still, when I total the number of years I nursed our children, it equals 7 years :-),we didn't have TV in the house till our son was born, I was very involved with our LaLeche League for many years as well........all that to say, BE CAREFUL - when we over-parent our children, they tend to have a hard time thinking for themselves - AND become self absorbed at the same time.... We are Christians as well and I now see that soooo much of what we did, especially when we were novice parents, was man-taught and not necessarily God's best for us. No, not evil in and of themselves, but just not the best for the long haul and we can't see that like God can! The Enos' ideas were used a lot by others around us and I just did not like what I read from them, BUT, and I say this carefully but completely truthfully, I now see the children grown up who were trained that way, and they are some of the absolutely most wonderful, respectful, confident young people I've ever seen - so, as my Pastor's wife says, "don't eat the elephant whole - spit out the bones". I was so stubborn to do it my way, the way I thought felt right to me and I wasn't willing to hear anyone else out - if I didn't agree with them I just shut them out - don't do that - listen to it all and prayerfully decide what to "eat" and what to "spit out".

1 mom found this helpful

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