I Can't Get My Son to Sleep on His Own

I'm a mom of a 13 mnth old girl, I stayed at home with her for the first year, I was always told that when baby slept you slept, so I took full advantage, when she would nap we would nap together on the couch. She would sleep in her crib if I rocked her to sleep or if I let her lay on my chest.

I had to go back to work FT and my daughter had to go to daycare, unfortunatly most providers aren't going to hold your child if they have other children ( at least my ex provider didn't)

We slowly day by day put her in the pack and play to take naps yes she screamed and as the days progressed she screamed less. We have also started putting her in her crib at night to fall asleep on her own, once again she screams, but it got shorter and shorter over time.

Now she will lay down for nap and bed time by herself, with little fussing.

My suggestion would be to slowly put him in his crib tell him its nite nite time give him is security is Blanket, pappy, music and walk out of the room , if you have to go back make sure you lay him down tell him again its time to go to sleep and leave the room. Everytime that you think you might have to go back in the room make it longer everytime, he will eventually get used to it. It make take several nights but he can do it. If you know that he is feed, dry and he is not in any danger he will not hurt him to cry. He will be fine, it will be hard but it will make it easier for you and make him more of a "BIG BOY"

Hope this helps. Sorry for the long suggestion, I'm a detailed person.LOL

hello J.,
when my son was a baby i was in the same exact position,the reflux was so bad i was afraid to lay him down and i allowed him to sleep on me and in his swing for the 1st 15 months of his life, he grew out of the reflux by his 1st bday but in order for me to get any sleep i would let him sleep on me. he is now 3 and probaly would still sleep on me if i hadnt become pregnant when he was 15 months old so i was forced to get him to sleep on his own which was def. the kick in the butt i needed.anyhoo... i tried letting him cio but i think(only my opinion)that is way to harsh, so what did was put his crib in our room and i would lay next to his crib until he fell asleep which i didnt mind doing cause those 1st 3 months of preg. i just wanted rest anyway,he would cry but i was there to comfort him and eventually(about a week or 2) he got to the point where i could sit him in there,pop in the bob marley legend cd and leave the room.when i was about 7 months pregnant we started fixing up his own room and he went in there no problem and slept on his own.he is now 3 and a wonderful sleeper and doesnt even need the music but still loves to jam to bob......sorry for rambling but hope this helps...C.

what do you do?

you rock him to sleep. enjoy it, appreciate him for who he is at this moment in time and love him for being little. he won't always be.

and heh heh I bet he really isn't "almost as big" as you ;) it probably feels that way, though.

why fight it? he'll soon not want you to rock him to sleep, trust me.

Hi,
Whew... Thank GOD, There are other moms I can talk to!
I am glad to try to help YOU the best I can for as I too had to deal with my Son going thru Acid-reflex after he had surgery at 6 weeks old for PYLORIC-STENOSIS (where the pyloric muscle thickens around the valve causing a blockage to let anything go down which causes vomitting & projectiling).
He's now 18 months n drinks Soy-Milk....still gets GAS n Reflex bad at times (depending what he eats or whats in the food). When after having the surgery, He was put on Liquid Zantac for his reflex n all he did was throw it up or spit it out, so I stopped givin it to him n would just Pray. I had to rock him alot n walk him around patting his back n sang to him til he fell asleep n repeat couple times thru out the nights...As mothers its hard for us to see our babies go thru so much pain. I ended up havin to lift up the one end of the crib mattress on a incline so that his upper body was elevated to help the Gas n reflex stay down n not bother him so much....I also would give him some pain reliever before bed just to help take the edge off the pain. Shoot I still do at times! But now I can say he does sleep by himself in his own bed n will fall asleep 90% of the time on his own. Yes its hard, cus we want our babies to be comfortable n at ease but they do grow up eventually but as mothers its better for us to do what is best for them n let them kno its okay to sleep alone w/ a favorite stuff animal of course helps...lol, Also layin down with him or sitting at his bedside til he falls alseep may help him get use to sleepin alone in the begining till he gets use to it. But he will appreciate it in the long run n also breakin the cycle now will help with SEPARATION ANXIETY.
Hopefully my insight can help you! God Bless n Take Care MOMMA

P.s.
If ever need someone to talk to Please feel free to contact me @ ____@____.com
A.

HI J. I AGREE WITH DAWN. IT WILL TAKE A WEEK OR SO BUT HE WILL GET USED TO IT. THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF IT IS BE CONSISTENT. I KNOW ITS HARD TO HEAR THEM CRY. BUT HE WILL BE OK. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK. STEPH

J., the only thing I would add to Stephanie and Dawn is that you should not talk to him nor look him in the eye when you go back in the room after the initial time. I've found that both of these actions stimulated my son. When you have to go back in the room, just lay him back down gently (assuming he's standing or sitting), cover him up, then go back out silently. You may need to do this over and over and over each night until he gets the idea, but being consistent is key to every parenting issue, sleeping included. : ) Good luck!

D.

There is going to come a point when you just can't physically rock him anymore. You aren't doing him or you any favors by not teaching him to fall asleep on his own so the best thing you can do is do it as soon as possible. If there's nothing else traumatic going on then now might be a good time. But moving to a new area, or daycare, divorce, etc are all traumatizing things for a child so let him deal with them one at a time if you can. If none of those things are going on then you should start as soon as you can. Maybe he needs you with him for the first few nights. Just you being there may help. I'm more the cold turkey type but it seems you have tried that and it didn't work for you. Is he still in a crib? Maybe you can try sitting by his crib for a few minutes for the first few nights. Don't pick him up if he cries just sit quietly and rub his back or hold his hand. Don't talk to him once you put him in the crib. Show him it's time to sleep not to socialize. You have to be strong and stick it out, it won't be easy, it never is. Leave the room once he's asleep. After a few nights do what supernanny does, move a little further from the crib toward the door but stay in the room. Use headphones if you need to b/c it could take awhile for him to fall asleep. Then move out the door but close by and maybe you will be able to read a book. Whatever you do, don't give in to your son's cries. It will not help, it will only send the message that if I cry I get what I want. This is not the message you want to send b/c that is one hard habit to break. I hope you find a way to help your son sleep. It's a shame that he had to deal with that at such a young age. And it must have been so hard for you. But now you really have to help him to learn to soothe himself and fall asleep on his own. Does he have a favorite baby-safe toy he can snuggle with in place of you? I used one of those light and music aquariums on the side of the crib that helped my son sleep. And he slept with his favorite alligator (the one with the bright colored stripes). He was five before he could sleep without it. It's a long term commitment if you go that route so be prepared. Good Luck!!