I Am Desperate for Help with Potty Training!!

I think you're expecting results too quickly. I've potty trained my kids pretty young, so I do not think it's her age, just that she needs time to get used to it. My son was potty trained at 22 months and my first daughter at 15 months. I'm working on it with my 13 month old now. Here's what I recommend:
Make sure when you change diapers, say "you went pee pee/poopy" so she associates the words with the actions.
When she poops in a diaper, let her see you dump it in the toilet and tell her "this is where poopy goes".
Let her see you go potty and tell her "I'm going pee pee/poopy!"
Any time she has been dry for 2 or more hours (first thing after waking?) take her diaper off and put her on the potty. Make a "sss" sound and say "let's go pee pee".
When she does pee, clap your hands, smile, say "You're going pee pee!!" and then leave the diaper off for half an hour or so.
Definitely take it slow and give her time to get used to the idea. Pushing her too much can make her resist.

Hi B.,

I would say that, although you seem ready for your daughter to be potty trained, she is definitely not ready. I would wait a few months (maybe even 6 months so that it coincides with your daycare's policy of potty training). Also, if you start too early (ie, when the child is not ready) it makes it much more difficult than if you had waited until they let you know they are ready.

With my son, I started to get him familiar with the potty at about 20 months. I kept the potty in the bathroom and had him come in with me while I used the toilet. I would say things like, "Ooh, hear mommy tinkle?" and things that made it seem fun to use the toilet. Sometimes he would sit on his potty (fully clothed) while I sat on the toilet.

Once her turned 2, I started with the potty training, since he seemed ready. When he came home from daycare and on the weekends, we had a lot of naked time (we also had a lot of accidents, too). I learned to take his cues so that I could get him to the potty in time. He would say he had to go hide when he had to poop---if I saw him walking to the corner or to the kitchen table, I know it was time for the potty. I made sure that it seemed like the fun thing to do, like "Oooh, let's put a poop in the potty and get a sticker,"...not "OH NO, Don't poop on the floor! Get on the potty!" If there was an accident (they were mostly pee accidents), I made sure to include him in the clean up (he really didn't any cleaning, I just gave him a paper towel and he pretended to clean up the mess next to me while I took care of the real mess).

We kept a small jar of M&Ms in the bathroom and he would get 1 for a pee and 3 for a poop. After a while, we switched to stickers. He was fully potty trained (through the night and everything) in about 4 months.

I know this was quite a long response. I hope it helped.

T.

B., I'm sorry to say but you should really slow down a bit. She is so young to even dream of expecting her to potty train. What is the rush? All that trying to push it before she is ready is going to do is make her hate the potty seat. Then guess what, you are really going to be waiting a long time before she's potty trained. Take it from me, I pushed my first son to early and made him hate it so bad he did not start going until he was 3. Can you imagine? 3. Don't make that same mistake. As much as you wish you could say "I'm Mommy and you will go right now", The truth is there is no way you can MAKE her go. So unless you want to be changing her diapers until she is 3, I suggest you slow down and give her time to grow up. My second son I started associating the potty to at 2 (but still did not force it). I just did it very casually, if he went, great. If he did not go, no big deal. By the time he was 2 years and 4 months he was done. You'll be suprised how much more your little one will have grown up and be better prepared for this over the next 6 months. Hope this helps!

Hey B.,

I know it would be wonderful to have her potty trained, but she is still a litte too young. When my daughter turned 2, we started and she got it in 1 month. My son on the other hand we started at 2, he will be 3 next week, and he finally got it last week. It will come in time, don't rush her. I think there is a reason why they don't start potty training at the day care until they are 2, they are trained professianls. She will let you know when she is ready! Now is the time to relax and enjoy the time you have left before your new baby comes! It will happen, trust me! Good luck! M.

Good Morning B. First I have to honestly say 18 months is way to young to potty train. At this age you are going to be the one trained by nomeans her. That muscle just is not developed yet. I can see you wanting to potty train her with the new baby due next month but chances are she will regress with the birth of the new baby anyways. Just wait till she is closer to 2 and then take it slow, and take her clues.

It seems to me you're not doing a single thing wrong except this... assuming she's ready. She's 18 months old. That's VERY young for potty training readiness, even if she enjoys playing big girl on the potty. My oldest boy (yes, I know boys are VERY different than girls) was interested at 18 months but not ready to begin true training until he was 2 1/2. He then mastered the whole thing in 1 weekend... because he was READY to be potty trained. My 25 month old is now interested as well. Except he's more interested in being like big brother. He's also not truly ready. There's not a thing wrong with that. The daycare seems about right in saying they don't train until age 2. That's because the VAST majority of kids are nowhere near physical and emotional readiness for the task. Sometimes the harder we push, the more resistence we encounter. Being VERY pregnant like you are, maybe the stress just isn't worth the trouble? Beside that, she may backslide emotionally a bit with the birth of the new baby. That's a VERY common and expected reaction to being told you're not the only priority anymore. You may be setting yourself up for an unnecessary disaster by trying to do this now. My personal mommy recommendation is to enjoy your onliest (my own made up word, I think!) baby for the next month and get ready for 2 little ones. There's enough stress in dealing with 2 little ones without adding unnecessary worry. I hope it all goes well for you. Good luck and best wishes!

I have read your request for help with potty training. I just wanted to give a little information that my daughter's doctor gave to me. We didn't even start trying potty training until my daughter was 2. She did the same thing with us putting her on the potty but never going. This happened for a few weeks. Finally we talked to the doctor and she advised not to push her at all. When she was good and ready she would want to learn then. So we didn't push her just kept encouraging it and she does really well now. She is currently 2 1/2 and not completely in big girl yet pants all day but the dr. is completely fine with that.

Hi, B., my daughter turned 3 in july and we are still having issues with potty training. I wouldn't put so much pressure on yourself, you have by no means failed, some children are ready before others! If you start trying when she really isn't ready then it's all for nothing. She will start going on that potty when she's ready! I'm sure it's not what you want to hear, but in my case it's the truth. My daughter has no problem during the day, and hasn't since she was about 22 months, but night-time is a different story, even getting up every two hours to put her on the potty she still seems to find a time in between those trips to the bathroom to pee in her bed! After a week i started putting pull-ups on her at night. Have you tried a rewards system? Like every time she goes on the potty she gets a sticker, or a piece of candy, just make sure it's sugar-free! haha! If you use the candy system you'll find that she'll be on the potty all the time!!! haha!! You can also talk to your daughter about how it feels down in her tummy when she feels like she needs to go so she learns when it's time to get up and go! Just don't get upset with her and don't punish her, that will just make any progress she's made get pushed back. Try short car trips with her, make sure she goes before you leave the house, but during the ride if she says she has to go, stop at a gas station or something. You'll find that she may just want to stop somewhere and won't always pee, so i would tell my daughter to squeeze her bottom really tight, and hold it in, just keep repeating it, especially if there's no where to stop. Bring along extra clothes and underwear where ever you go, or just try going with the pull-ups. If you try with the underwear in the car, use the small water-proof pads that they make for the changing tables, or cut a big one in half and put it under her bottom in the car seat! Good Luck!!!

I am sort of in the same boat. I had my daughter going in the morning upon waking and then again after her nap at the beginning of the year, then we had a couple of deaths in the family, she started daycare and we moved, so it got put on hold. I have recently started back up again. I have a 20 month old that I am working with, however she'll sit there for a long time, stand, then urinate. This past weekend I got her to go in her potty, as well as the big potty, by offering her a reward for doing so.

The best advice that I can offer you is to not push the issue. Just work with her at home in the evenings and on the weekends...tell daycare to drop it if she is fighting it. Talk to her about it. I asked my daughter where she should be putting her pee-pee, and she pointed to the toilet. That let me know that she understood the process. Ask your daughter if she knows where she is supposed to put her pee-pee. She may not totally understand what you're trying to achieve. Don't try to use both underwear and traditional diapers. Get her the pull up type that are like underwear. I have done that, and I think that it takes some of the confusion away, as they think that they are wearing underwear, so they don't want to mess them up. Most of all, love her, praise her for sitting on the potty (even if it is just a few minutes), be patient with her, and explain to her what you want her to do and where you want her to do it. I have had many long talks with/to my daughter like that. I would/do explain that pee-peeing on the floor is not the correct thing to do, and that it needs to go in the potty. Get a reward for her, put it in her eyesight when she's on the potty, out of her reach, and tell her that she can play with that/eat that, but she has to put her pee-pee in the potty first. If she does, then she gets the item, if not, dont' let her have it. May sound mean, but she'll learn that she gets a reward for positive behavior. One last thing that I did the day that she went pee-pee the first time...I prayed! No lie! A few minutes after that was the first time she's pee-peed on a potty since February. That first time was on the big potty...as she said, "Mommy's potty".

I hope my rambling has helped. Please let us know how things go.

Have you considered that she is not ready to potty train yet?

I agree that waiting might be better, especially since you're due next month. I was determined to have dd trained by 2, since I was pregnant. She had no interest and it led to both of us being frustrated. I talked to our pediatrician about it and he said that if you push too hard, it will take them even longer to finally get trained. So I backed off. I had ds when she was 2 1/2 and she still wasn't trained. A few months later, I decided to try again and she got it that day. She still had a few accidents, but she did great. And, there was no stress at all. So I'd wait because you probably won't feel like keeping up with training while dealing with a newborn and being sleep deprived. And, she'll probably regress with all the changes going on her in own life.

BUT, if you still want to try, here's what worked for me. I heard about this online and later saw Dr. Phil do it on his show. I took one of dd's baby dolls and tied a sports bottle, upside down, on her back. The bottle was under the dress so dd couldn't see it. I got out her potty chair and got her to watch. I talked like the baby doll would and said, "I have to go potty." I walked the doll over to the potty chair and sat her on it. When I squeezed the bottle and she "went potty" dd's mouth dropped open. I made a huge deal about the doll going potty so dd wanted to try then. I had her help the doll go potty first. Then she wanted to go and she went right then. Of course I made another HUGE deal out of it and we did the "potty dance."

Another thing that helped was I kept her naked for a few days when we were at home. I also didn't take her out. I filled her up with fluids. I also set a timer to remind her to go potty. Another thing that helped was I put her potty chair in the family room with her (tiled). That way she would see it and remember to go.

I did the same thing with ds. I bought him a potty chair when he turned 1. He just had no interest for the longest time. Every so often I'd try to see if he would go. WHen he was 2 1/2, he finally seemed ready. So I did the bottle with his Pooh Bear and it worked. I followed exactly what I did with dd.

Their training ages might seem late to some, but it worked for us. There was no stress. There were a few accidents, but that's normal.

And, don't forget what it will be like when you go out somewhere. Trying to take care of a newborn and keep up with training dd can be a lot of work. You'll have to remember to take her to the bathroom when you're out or she'll probably say something when it's too late.

You probably won't agree with me, but I think you are trying too soon. It sounds like your daughter is not ready. My daughter was a little over three years old before she was fully potty trained. I know you probably want her potty trained before the new baby comes so you won't have 2 kids in diapers, but I'm afraid it may have to be that way for a little while.

When I was a baby and My mom was expecting my sis, my peditrician told my mom not even to try to potty train me before my sis was born. He told her I would revert back to not being potty trained. My mom potty trained me anyway and she had to do the training all over again after my sis was born. So I would wait til after the baby comes.

I think you should give it some time. 18 months is VERY early to start potty training (even for a girl). Also, my pediatrician advised us not to start potty training my oldest around the time when our 2nd child was born. This is going to be a huge transition and even if you get her trained before the arrival of your baby she is likely to relapse. I'd say wait until she's 2. Then neither of you will be frustrated!

Good luck.

She's only 18 months old. A lot of kids don't get fully potty trained until 3 or 4. Just don't stress about it. I did the same thing while pregnant with my 2nd child. I wanted my 2 year old to potty train so I wouldn't have 2 in diapers. They'll do it when they are ready. And it'll be an overnight thing. One day she'll wake up and decide she wants to use the potty and you'll be set.

I totally understand how you are feeling. I have a little girl and a little boy that are 16 months apart and I desperately wanted to get my little girl potty trained as soon as possible. I started trying when she was about 20 months and she showed absolutely no interest and I knew it was a waste of time and money on panties and pullups if she didn't care whether she was wet or not. I talked to her doctor and he said the actual recommendation for kids to be potty trained by is 3 yrs old and I thought that was crazy. My only advice is to wait until she shows interest because it is going to stress you and her out, believe me I felt like a janitor cleaning up wet spills all day. My daughter finally showed interest about a month after her 2nd birthday, and from that day on she wore big girl panties and has a very few accidents. she is actually done very well with both #1 and #2. I know it's what everyone says, but she will do it when she is ready and pushing her will only make her not want to do it. Good luck and I promise the day will come when she is ready.

J.

Wow that's really young. Is there a reason why you want her to use the potty so badly?

I started trying around that age with my daughter. I took her to the store and made a big deal about going just to get big girl panties I let her pick them out and when we got home she put them on. She picked out Dora and Ponies so I would keep saying lets go potty in the big girl potty we don't want Dora to get wet. After a couple of days she went potty, still with a couple of accidents but she really did not want to wet Dora or Pony. I hope this helps alittle.

I afraid I have the same advice everyone else does. I think it is too early. My son potty trained early. He was only about 2 years and 3 months old. He was totally ready, but he is still having accidents and he is almost 3. I don't think they are mentally or physically able at 18 months, but it does depend on the child. Maybe give it 6 months and then you can reason a little more: diapers are for the baby, panties are for big girls. That is the conversation I had with my son and we went cold turkey. It worked, (until months later deciding to have accidents.) You might want to talk to your peditrician also. They always have great advice on issuses like this.

Hello. Prior to staying at home, I worked with young children in the public school setting. After having taught for some years and now being a mom, I really think it is best to wait for the child to signal when they are ready. There are signs that will tell you when your child is ready. When a child is ready, you do not have to put any effort in the training process...it just happens. Of course, this is just my opinion. I hope this helps, A.

She may just not be ready! Every kid is ready in their own time. 18 months is on the early end of the age for potty training so don't dispair. She also may be feeling the big changes about to come about in your house with a new baby, so even if she gets "it" about the potty before the birth she may just revert back. Good luck

Why the rush? Because of the new baby coming? I have several frineds who rushed and sort-of got the first one done and when the second baby arrived the first one regressed. Why put yourself through that. I have a 2 1/2 year old that we are training now. My Mom said something funny the other day..."No kid has ever left for college, NOT pottty trained!" It will happen when it's time. Good Luck.

You can't expect anything from daycare, they do only what needs to be done and potty training is not it, not at this point anyway. i started training my daughter close to that age. we carried the little potty all over the house. she was my shadow so where ever i was; cleaning the kitchen or in the living room wherever, the potty would be there. Don't expect her to jump on the potty and go at first, kids generally needs to 'discover the potty' before they consider using it. it takes a while, its up to them to when they feel comfortable using this new thing. You seem to be rushing her by putting panties on her, try using pullups if you are just fed up with regular diapers, but panties shouldnt be worn until she is actually trying to use the potty. When she gets comfortable with the potty and starts using it somewhat regularly then you can introduce panties. If shes not ready then you will have no luck with her, only frustration. She has been peeing and pooping on herself for the past 18 months, you need to give her some time. Trust me , I have found that girls are easier to potty train then boys, so if you are about to have a boy then you should learn potty patience now :) Kids now when they are ready and she will let you know, but of course don't give up, she will get it one day, but if you are trying too hard then you might just push her away from the idea of using the potty. good luck.

Have you tried having her potty near your potty? Kids love to mimic their parents. My nephew was a terror to potty train. He was three or three and a half before he was fully trained. He would sit on the potty and cry..."I don't have any pee-pee s". You would relent, let him off and then he would have an accident. The changing factor for him, was knowing he was in charge of the situation. We had spent so long telling him when he needed to go. The fist time he went alone was in my parents yard, as boys are apt to do. From then on he knew he was in charge and he never had another accident. She'll get the hang of it and then you'll be a pro....
My son is 6 mos. I may be asking you for advice one day! :)

My advice is to be patient. It sounds like you are trying, but she will figure it out. Start slow and let her figure it out. I think she still doesn't realize what you are trying to get her to do. You probably need to let her know that "well, no pee pee this time", semi dissappointed and let her know there is hope - "maybe next time". Then when she does do it, make a HUGE deal about it. Sing, dance around doing the pee pee dance. You know the drill. If you do this, I think she will realize that the object is not to just sit on the potty, but to do something there too. My mom actually started my daughter on the potty when she was about the same age as yours. She was watching her while I worked and she did basically the same thing you are doing. She kept a basket of alphabet blocks beside the potty and would go in with my daughter and play with them. It kept her sitting there longer and made her want to sit there. She would be there long enough to go, and finally she figured out what she was doing. It still took a few months for her to figure out that she was supposed to tell us when she had to go though. She would be too busy playing to let us know and accidents did happen. But by the time she was 26 months, she could go all day without a diaper. I did switch to pull-ups though, because they are more like underwear and easier up and down. She still wears pull-ups at night, because I don't have time to deal with wwet sheets every morning, but she is even getting better at night.

Now her 20 month old younger sister is beginning to get the idea too. She tells me when she has to go poo poo and even sometimes pee pee. She is going to be much easier because she watched her sister go through the drill. Hope this helps. I think the most important thing is to keep your cool and let her figure it out.

Good luck!

IMO, 18 months is waaaaaaaay too young to expect her to potty train. I have a 4 yo boy..and we tried and tried from about two years. He potty trained finally at 3 1/2.

I don't know how much you are set on potty training now...but most kids don't potty train that early. My son turned 3 in September and he started potty training maybe a month or so before that but was fully potty trained just before his birthday. We does wear pull ups for nap time at daycare as they have lunch and then take naps and he has accidents during nap time (I think he doesn't have enough time for everything to digest down before he goes to sleep).
I would think if your daughter will sit on the potty but then get up and pee elsewhere she probably doesn't have control or doesn't fully know the feeling of having to go and holding it. I think until I child can actually hold it for a bit it is hard for them to be potty trained. I would be afraid of pushing her and making it take longer. As long as she likes sitting on the potty that is the first step. Maybe you need to just let her do it at her own pace....maybe she's ready to sit on the potty but not go in it yet. I do know that it's harder when they are somewhere else and especially around other kids. Little ones don't want to miss out on anything so they don't want to stop to go potty. Good luck with it all. In due time she will potty train. :0)

D.

Ok I think you are doin everything right.. But maybe just a lil too earlie... In the begening of any potty training they will sit and do nothing... then get clothes on and do something... thats what they are used too and most comfortable with... when I potty trained my now 8 yr old daughter. I totaly got rid of any type of diaper and did it with undies and lots of them on hand for changing of clothes... that way she would feel the wetness of an accadient... it took about 3 days.. What I think worked best for me was when she had an accadient I would pretend that it stunk and it was yucky to touch and that i really didn't want to and made her help, yes in the middle of the night too... that tought her that ohh if i do this then i have to do that... get my drift... then when she did go potty I made a huge deal of it... we danced and put stickers on her potty chart.. and looked at it at the end of the day and she wanted more and more stars and praise... your doin the right thing by never scholding.. that only makes them feel shamefull of what they have done... also at that age your kids are soo eager to help you with any thing... I would have her go on the potty and in the beggening when she just sat and didn't do any thing i would have a bottle of vinager and water to spray the windows and she would help me... If she went potty then she got to mop or help with the laundry or do something around the house she really enjoyed to help me... lil things like that made a huge difference for me and when I went to the bathroom I would act like I was potty traing myself and I needed her help... so that way she could act like me too. you know.. Well I hope I have helped.. good luck!

I found that providing them with the opportunity helped them potty train when THEY were ready. Both of mine did it on their own. Within a week they were dry all day. The first one was 23 months and the second was 25 months. They just did when they were ready.

Don't push the issue with her. She will get it when she is ready. Also, the new baby may negatively affect the potty training anyway. As soon as your daughter sees that the new baby wears diapers and gets lots of attention, she is probably going to associate wearing diapers with getting lots of attention and stop using the potty. I know it is difficult to have 2 in diapers at the same time, but you are not going to be able to make your daughter use the potty until she is ready. At 18 months, her muscles to control going to the potty have not even fully developed so basically, you are beating your head against a brick wall here.

To be very honest here. i think 18 months is way too young to potty train. right now they are just awed by the novelity of the potty, the fact that it makes noises. the fact that you sit on it. It's a game. unless they are showing true signs of being ready to potty train this is a wonderfrul web site that may help you

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t106600.asp
My son is 20 months today and is no where near ready to potty train, nor has he even been seated on a potty yet except in play. potty training isn't something that needs to be pushed, and it something that happens alot later then most parents like to admit. I think you need to relax a bit more, understand tht this will take months. potty training is a one step forward 3 step back process. and she may just not be ready yet to do it.
hth
B.

It does not sound like she is quite ready to me... I have three kids. Girls are definatly easier than boys it seems. If you are dead set on getting her trained now you will have to remain very consistant:) Good Luck:)

I started my first daughter at 18 months as well and she was NOT fully trained til she was 3. Now after having 4 kids, I really would suggest waiting til she is at least 2-2+1/2 before you start trying again. With a new baby on the way, there is no reason to be training when your already going to be sleep deprived. You'll be even more frustrated than you are now. At one time I had 3 kids in diapers and it was not cheap, but it certainly did make potty training that much less stressful on me. What worked best for me for 3 out of 4 kids was letting them be naked for a whole week. When they were about 2 and 1/2 I picked a week and did not leave the house for ANY reason at all. They stayed naked and every half hour or so we went to the potty. If that didn't work, I would give them a big cup of water and 20 minutes later we were back on the potty with more water. They had to sit on the potty for 10 mins. I would sit on the floor and read or sing or talk about how cool peeing on the potty was. By the end of 7 days they were 90% trained. We still had a few accidents but if it was due to their laziness (not wanting to stop playing to go pee) then they had to clean it up.
So wait til she is a little bit older and I hope that you have a nice easy delivery. Good luck.

M.

I would wait until after the baby. Even if you get her going, the baby's arrival may make her regress since she will be trying to get your attention and see's that the baby gets attention with the diaper thing. My daughter was 4 when my second was born and she regressed with some things simply because she wanted more attention.
Good Luck
S. Gallo
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I think that you are starting a little too early. Your daughter sounds a little young (like she is not ready). I am going thru the same thing with my 2 year old. With my oldest (she is 4 now), I tried right at 2 and she wouldn't go on the potty. Then I decided to wait a few months and tried again when she was 27 months...I went cold turkey. No diapers at all and pull-ups only at night. It took a good solid week before she got the hang of it in the daytime and a few months before she was off pull-ups at nighttime.
I did a sticker reinforcement chart because my daughter loved stickers. Everytime she went on the potty she got to pick out her sticker and put it on her "special chart". We had the chart on display on the fridge. We did the happy dance and acted totally silly.
My younger daughter just turned 2 and she goes on the potty, but not consistently..so she isn't ready either.
Good luck!!