Hyperemesis Gravidarum Destroying My Life...

I had severe HG with my first pregnancy, I was in the hospital 30+ times, one stay lasted a month, several days in ICU - I very nearly died... I weighed 84 pounds at about 16 weeks pregnant, a good 40 lbs under my pre-pregnancy weight. I had a PICC line inserted after many visits for fluids and meds, the PICC line was suppose to be a way for me to be at home, and receive TPN(continuous IV nutrition of several thousand calories per day). However, some mistakes were made in the OR, and we found out 11 days later that the PICC line was infected when it was inserted, and that infected set off a chain of events that nearly killed me and my unborn child. All that to say, I really do understand your misery. And it's awful, I really do feel for you. My 2nd and 3rd pregnancies I had way more than the "normal" morning sickness, lost a lot of weight, several ER visits, but nothing like the first time.

Here's my advice. Are you taking anything for nausea? I am unable to function on phenergan, at all, I took zofran for a good bit of my pregnancies. A word of caution with that - its notorious for causing horrid constipation and headaches. So be sure to add in a stool softener, a LOT of extra fluids, and walk as much as possible to keep things moving...

As far as your son, your husband quitting his job shouldn't be on your radar. This is temporary and WILL pass. Is there a daycare nearby? A Mother's Day out program? It's summer - find a high school or middle school kid to come into the home a few hours a day. Those options are all less costly than your husband quitting his job or your health.

Get your husband to use baby gates to create a "safe room" for you and your toddler. Before he leaves for work, maybe he could leave out a sippy cup of water, some drinks for you and some snacks for you both... I know there are days you just literally can barely move.

Hang in there and remember that this WILL pass. There are some websites out there, I think one was called HelpHer.

If you feel better after IV fluids, try to do that on the days your husband is off work, it may help
you get through the few days following. The dehydration makes you feel like death and seems to just kick off more nausea and vomiting.

Good luck and I hope you are feeling better sooner than later.

Well your household certainly needs an income - so your husband quitting his job doesn't sound like an option.
And you're going to end up in the hospital at the rate you are going.
If no relative is available to to look after your eldest then hire a nanny to care for him while you are indisposed.

Your husband obviously loves you very much. He is very worried about you. But you cannot let him leave his job. You need the medical insurance and the income.

Stay carefully under your doctor's care. It is very important that you take care of yourself so that you don't put your own health at risk.

You will need to hire help. It may be expensive, but it's cheaper than your husband not working. You may have to borrow money for this, but it's to keep you from losing your baby and maybe even your life.

You're still really early in your pregnancy, and you don't know for certain that you'll suffer from the same condition this time. My concern is that the trauma of your last pregnancy has left you so scared that just the stress alone will make you sick.

Your husband quitting his job shouldn't even be an option. You need the income so that you can maintain your home. I think this is a situation where you need to pay people to handle the things that you would normally take care of. Know that the financial burden of doing so is short-term and a far better alternative than your husband quitting his job.

Look at putting your son in day care temporarily, or hiring a nanny, so that you can rest during the day. Use Kroger's click-list service to order your groceries and have your husband pick them up on the way home-- he won't even need to get out of the car. Or use Shipt.com to arrange for grocery delivery. Do you belong to a faith community? If so, they most likely have some type of meal delivery program available, even if it's just one night a week. Can your mother help you prep some meals in advance that your husband can then just pick up? Can your in-laws help you with your laundry?

Once you figure out how you're going to care of your son, make a list of everything else that needs to be done to keep your household running. And then work with your husband and the grandparents to figure out what they can handle.

Good luck!

I had HG. I had it with my first child, but not with my second. Sorry you are going through this.

First, you should be on antiemetics like Zofran and on IV fluids at home (home health) to prevent further weight loss and dehydration. You need a home health nurse to check in on you a few times a week.

You need to find someone care for your son. FMLA for your husband is an option, but he won't get paid while he's on leave. Your husband quitting his job is a last resort. Do you have anyone else that can help you?

Also check out www. helpher.org -- it's a HG website. It might have some more helpful info for you.

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this.

I have not had this - my pregnancies were pretty uneventful thankfully - but I became seriously ill when mine were very little. I could not care them. I ended up doing 1/2 and 1/2 babysitting and a daycare. I don't know if you can do that with your 18 month old. My husband arranged it all for me, so I didn't have to worry about it.

My sister used a teenager as a mommy's help to get her through the summer. Just a few hours during the day, she'd have her take the kids to the park and just supervise them playing and giving them lunch. It was enough of a break for her and was well worth the cost - great experience for the teen who later became a night time babysitter.

I would look at having a nanny, sitter, or a little daycare in your area, or someone you could at least leave your 18 month with for part of the day. I think it would alleviate some of your guilt - knowing your toddler was having fun and engaged when you are not up for it.

Hopefully this passes soon and your doctor can give you some more options to try.

Sorry that you are going through this.

I did not experience hyperemesis gravidarum with any of my pregnancies.
I did move into a new house three weeks before having a c-section and also having a 22 month old and a 3 year old to care for and no family help (and a husband that traveled to Europe for work).

Only unpack the basics you need, most importantly what your son needs.

Let your doctor know of your circumstances...I doubt this is the first time it has happened.

Do you have any neighbors you've gotten to know well enough that could occasionally check on you?

I think hiring a nanny for the next few months would be your best bet, unless your husband could get your son t/f a daycare. I'm assuming you might not be able to drive.

While you are up for it, I would also find some babysitters to set up in the evenings, weekends or afternoons. You could try calling your village hall or park district (usually they hold babysitter trainings), try your church and even local Girl Scout council to find babysitters.

Your local church might be able to set up meal delivery or chore list to help you guys out, perhaps there are high schoolers that need community service hours to complete that could help with yard work.

While calling your village hall, I would also find out if they have referrals for visiting nurses or retired nurses that donate their time or volunteer. I know our village has a greeter and when you first move in or after you give birth they drop off a basket filled with free pizza coupons, free oil changes and other great coupons that are so hopeful.!

Good luck and just keep your expectations real...this is just temporary.

You should go to care.com or a nanny agency right now and find a nanny who is looking for a short term job. If you get someone from 8AM-5ish (until your husband gets home), she could take care of your child and make breakfast and lunch (then your husband can take over at dinner). Right now is a good time, because you might find a college student who can get you through the next 10 weeks, after which maybe you'll start to be on the upswing.

If you can make it through the next few months without an income, your husband could look into FMLA at his work (unpaid leave of absence). But if I were you, I'd try for the nanny first. Even if the nanny takes most of your husband's income, it's still better in the long run because he won't compromise his job.

ETA: Others suggested daycare, which is also a good option. Find one that works with your husband's hours so he can drop off on his way to work, and pick up on his way home. I'd probably prefer the nanny, because you could also ask the nanny to run small errands (like pick up medicine for you at the pharmacy). But daycare is definitely better than your husband losing his job.

I hope you feel better soon.

I did experience terrible nausea with both my pregnancies, and was similarly unable to function, could not take the medications that made me sleep (had a 2 year old at home) and husband couldn't take leave for months at a time... he did take off several days in the beginning. We sent son to stay with the inlaws for a week or more, then my mom came and got us both and we went and stayed with my parents for several weeks.

It was very difficult. I did not have all day/continuous vomiting like you are experiencing. It was each morning without fail, first thing out of the bed... but the nausea never left and I had no appetite, and could not function to drive, shower, supervise my 2 year old, etc.

My doctor prescribed Zofran for me (this was 16 years ago). It was very expensive then and was prescribed off label, as it was for cancer patients undergoing chemo and suffering the side effects. I know there have been more studies and it may not be recommended to use during pregnancy now. (My daughter is fine, for whatever that is worth.. she's an outstanding student/person who is rarely sick with even a common cold.) But it saved me/us. I took it for the first 4-5 months and then my symptoms calmed down enough that I was able to slowly reduce and then stop taking the meds. I still was constantly nauseous, but it was less severe so that I was able to at least function and not just suffer on the sofa praying for relief in whatever form it might appear.

Talk to your doctor and see if there are other options besides meds that put you to sleep. Ask husband to talk to his HR dept about FEMLA, or unpaid leave if necessary. It's better than losing his job, even if he spends every vacation day he has and has to take unpaid leave too. He'll still have a job to go to.

You may find it eases up somewhat. Contact your local hospital, and see if someone there can direct you to resources you may not know about.

Hang in there.

C.

Please see your OB/GYN - you might need to be hospitalized.

I'm really sorry you are going through this!! I am sorry I don't have any personal experience with it (well, not sorry I didn't have it!) to help you.

Your husband can talk to his HR team about taking FMLA to care for you. It's a process - he won't have to quit his job. But it's still leave without pay when his leave runs out.

I wish you luck! Prayers that you get through this quickly!

Unless you are independently wealthy and can live off of your investments your husband should not quit his job! That is just crazy! What is he thinking?

I think the only solution is to hire help or for your husband to take family leave if his employer allows it.

I hope you feel better sooner rather than later.

He can't quit his job. If he thinks you can live without his income why not hire a helper to come in and do anything you need her to do? Don't you have any other family or old friends that would love to just come visit for a few days? Maybe this one for 3 days then that one come for a week then another one come to replace that one.

Find a Methodist church in your area and if they have a Mother's Day Out program. We have a couple that do. One is 9-noon on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The other one is Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from 10am-3pm. The kids go and get to play and learn and have fun. The full day ones eat a meal provided by you then they take a nap. You can enroll them one day per week or all available days.

Mom's need days without their kids. They have doctor appointments and to just have some quiet time to take a nap or go grocery shopping.

I was sick 3-4 times per day for 8 1/2 months when I was pregnant. It wasn't nearly as bad as your's.

I'm sorry you're having to go through this. All alone too.

I had HG during my pregnancy and it was hell every single day. I know exactly the despair you are feeling. Please visit the HER Foundation website (www.hyperemesis.org) to connect with local resources for your area. While they were not around during my pregnancy, they have been a valuable resource in providing information to families experiencing HG as well as conducting research to find the cause of HG.

I didn't have HE, but I was extremely nauseous and was completely unable to do most things. I did go to the store every now and then and threw up in the parking lot.
The only thing that helped me was continuously sucking on starlight mints (the peppermints then have in restaurants). It didn't take the nausea away, but it smoothed my gag reflex which helped a lot.

Your husband should be able to take FMLA time to stay home and help you through the worst of this. If his employer provides any sort of new parent paid leave, he can take it now instead of when the baby is born. Otherwise he can see if they provide any type of paid caregiver leave and if not, use whatever vacation and sick time he has to have some sort of income coming in for as long as possible while he's out, or see if he can flex his schedule temporarily to be able to work a reduced schedule or work from home.

In the meantime, minimize what you have to do - have groceries delivered, have Amazon deliver diapers or any household supplies that you need, etc. Your husband can place orders online if you're too sick to do that. Can you afford to send your son to daycare for a while? Or can you afford to hire a sitter to come to the house? Or someone to come and help clean? Perhaps instead of coming to stay with you, could your mom help pay for any of these options if they're not in your budget?

How would you buy food or pay bills without your husband's job? What is he thinking? Since you "will never be able to abort" you have no choice but to pay for someone to come in and help you while your husband is at work.

Well if your husband suggests quitting his job to care for you, obviously your family is not hurting financially so why not hire a nanny instead?

Do you belong to a church so you can have support from the congregation?

I hope you get the help you need, sounds miserable.

You're very early in the pregnancy. Has your doctor confirmed that you will have this again.

With my first pregnancy I had morning sickness for most of the first trimester and all of the third. When I was pregnant with my second, I bragged to my doctor that I hadn't had any morning sickness at all. He warned me that every pregnancy was different and reminded me that it was still early. I ended up with morning sickness the entire pregnancy! It wasn't as severe as what you described, but it didn't go away until that child was born.

I would talk to your doctor. Maybe there are better men's or different men's or it won't be as severe. Also, consider hiring a nanny or using childcare. It would be nice to have family, but at this point, help is what you need.