Husbands Job

Wow.......So the choice is stay with a job that does not consider seeing a ill parent maybe for the last time important or going to see his dad! He been with this company 23 years......wow. I tell my husband to go see his dad with my full support and deal with not being paid for a week.

I am pretty sure he will be protected under the Family Medical Leave Act since he has been with the company for over a year. You need to look it up and double check, but basically it says it protects his job in the event of a family emergency, for up to 12 weeks. There is no guarantee of being paid, but you cant be fired. As far as not letting him take his vacation time- does the company have an HR dept? He needs to get in contact with them asap, because this is not allowed. If it is a small privately owned restaurant then you will have a harder time, but a regular corporation has rules in place about things like this. They can't give him a hard time. I totally get how demanding restaurants are, but I have never worked for one that would seriously try to pull something like this, and in the past when I had to go to a funeral, there was no question of whether I would go. My bosses just told me to get going and they would take care of it.

I'm not going to say to quit his job though. Never leave a job without a new one in place, especially in this economy. Jobs are too important and hard to come by. But just check out FMLA and talk to HR, because they really can't do this. They would be opening themselves up to a lawsuit if they tried to prevent him from going.

Has he looked into FMLA (Family & Medical Leave Act)? If you have proof (doctors diagnosis, etc...) of serious medical issues for his father then he would probably qualify.

my husbands mom was dying and he had to go immediately. It didn't matter about his job cuz his mom was dying and that is more important than anything. He used every penny we had to get there. while he was gone I had no money and had to somehow feed the kids. We ate rice a lot. He missed two weeks work with no pay, but it was worth it because he got there three days before his mom died and then had to plan/ do the funeral. I was surprised his job didn't fire him, but he is still working there when he got back. The sacrifice was worth it. Imagine if he had not said goodbye to his mom when he had the chance.

i think you should let him decide what to do. in this economy, employers aren't waiting to hire. nobody is getting hired. the management has its reasons why they're making this difficult for him. a friend of mine was just told that the company cannot pay for vacations anymore even though they have them in contract. their reasoning was to prevent downsizing they will take paid leave away from everyone. nobody complained because everybody needs a job right now. can't you go take care of his dad for a while until your husband can join you?
i mean, i am sorry about what is going on but you need to realize these are tough times for everyone, and if you guys depend pretty much on his income then he has no other options but to stay put.

I worked in the restaurant business for 12 years and I can tell you, this is just the way the industry is. He can try to find another restaurant that has some better policies (like a corporate owned place like Cheesecake Factory), but, ultimately, inside the kitchen is the same attitude "You arent bleeding personally, then back on the line until we dont need you any more." And even sometimes when you are bleeding. I worked with a glove full of blood once because it was saturday in season and "Oh well, your problem" terrible, horrible industry that I miss in a way you cant understand until you live it. You either accept this or get out, its industry standard

If I were you, I'd start writing a very soft yet firm letter to corporate and on up the ladder of authority, till I get the response I deserve, or my husband! This is totally disgraceful behavior from a company he has worked hard for over 23 years! Going up the ladder and explaining how you gad to be there and under the circumstances, should get a result of a paid leave! Or at the least a sincere apology from the company! It is truly an unacceptable response from his boss. But in today's job market, I wouldn't make too many waves! I wish I had a job! To me right is right and wrong is wrong, to write a letter stating what happened, is fair. Both for your husband and the upper level management, so that they too are aware of the practices going on in their own company! Good luck and my prayers are with you and your husband! May God bless you!
Kathy N.

My dad went thru a similar situation when his mom was ill. He missed saying good-bye as she passed away just hours before he got there and I can tell you from experience that the guilt far outweighs any other job or employers opinion and priority. If the employer trully understands the severity of the matter and is sympathetic to it, he would act accordingly especially after your husband's 23 year dedication. When there is a will, there's a way. He can ask for temporary employees or the coworkers to take his shift for a few days perhaps. All the best.

he should stand his ground and go through whatever hoops they want him to jump through, then leave on Sunday as planned no matter what-- then if he has no job when he gets back make sure he has all of his ducks in a row with paperwork from his dad's doctors--after 23 years, if they let him go for wanting to see a sick parent, that company sucks

My husband is a general manager of two restaurant/bars so I know the business can be BRUTAL! Finding a new job is easier said than done and with 23 years invested into this company it may not be something he even wants. I would suggest talking to him about his options and respect what he decides. He could suck it up and continue on with his current job, maybe transferring to another restaurant in your area is an option, has he tried talking directly with his head manager about these issues? Of course, putting his resume out there and finding something new is always an option as well. Good luck and my thoughts are with your FIL.

After 23 years it's amazing they are treating him this way! You have to ask your self what can you live with.
Can he live with himself if he didn't see his father and he passed away?
Can you live with yourself if you go and lose your job you've been with for 23 years?
I don't know your financial situation, but never make a threat that you can't back up- meaning if he calls their bluff, you need to be prepared to be fired if that's what it comes down too.

If it were me and I had some money tucked away- I'd tell them he going to see his father and they need to deal with it.

Best of luck!

FMLA only covers companies with 50+ employees. But if they value your husband then they should let him go see his father. He really needs to discuss this with their HR manager or someone other than his immediate boss. Sounds like they want him to stay, but they also need to be flexible. Of course they are going to give him a hard time, they want him to work, but he may also want to get it in writing (email would work) that he has permission to take the time off without his job suffering. What is the vacation policy? ... all companies need to follow their policies, so if it says he can use vacation time then he should be able to use it, if not there really isn't anything he can do. Some companies require a months notice for vacation pay, etc.