How to Make Going to the Doctor Easier for My Son?

well, tell the doctor in advance about the experience he had at the other doctor's. He might be able to help with this.

My daughter likes the doctor, but hates getting shots, so I have her favorite candy (M&Ms) on hand. I'm not above bribery, and she cant cry with her mouth full. :-)

our son loves the doctors office. he remembered shots but they spread them out so he doesnt get one every time. also the nurse gives them not the doctor. we view it like going to the park to play. its a happy place that keeps us healthy. not a dreadful place where they are going to hurt us. he is feeding off your fears and dread because you have set the tone before you even go. set it fun! works for us. also our kids have a play toy set of doctor tools. i play sick and they check me out with all those tools. its fun and silly. we have taken the toy to the office before. once.

YOU need to take deep breaths, and calm down. He is feeding if your negative energy about the doctor. Honestly, you are probably making it so much worse. (I'm not saying that to be mean, obviously you are feeling all this for him!! I think that's pretty natural.) If you are anxious, scared, nervous, upset...that will only compound his fears. Be very calm and soothing for him. Don't be anxious. He will still be worried and scared at the office, but if YOU are not, then he will eventually learn it ends and it's not so bad.

Know that it does get better, and sometimes when they're little, going to the doctor is totally no fun. But it's still necessary. My son HATED the doctor too until about that age - around 2 or 3, my husband, my mom, and he all went to the doctor together to get flu shots. Having DAD, GRAMMY both get shots, and be brave and OK about it, showed my son, that sometimes it hurts, but it's necessary, and it's OK to say ouch, but you can be brave, and go for a treat afterwards. We explain what is going to happen ahead of time, let him know that first the doctor is going to look in his ears, throat & listen to his heart and lungs, and then there may be shots.
Also, pediatricians should never be "mean", the way you describe the doctor above. It's their jobs to help teach children about their bodies and how to keep them healthy. If they're not able to handle your child at 2, will they be a good, trusted resource for your child at 13? We found our doctor by going to urgent care a few times, and finding a doctor that we liked who worked in that practice. It's one thing for a pediatrician to provide firm instructions and health advice; it's another for them to be mean and rude to a child and parent. Be an advocate for your child. If someone is being unnecessarily mean, tell the doctor that you expect more, that being mean is not OK and is not part of their job. Find a doctor that is willing to build a relationship with your family, someone who will know your child, be an advocate for their health, someone your child will be comfortable with as they grow up.

Children are sensitive. The main way for you to make it easier for him to go is to figure out how YOU can be less freaked out about the whole thing. If you are nervous/tense, he WILL pick it up and magnify it for himself. I know for a fact that my son is more cranky when I am having a bad day. They're like radar dishes!

Having a mean doctor stinks. I took my son to an after hours clinic once and one of the doctors was a jerk. I never went back to that one because I wouldn't take a chance I'd get him again.

Get a referral from your friends, other moms, etc. to a doctor that is good with kids that get scared. Perhaps if you visit without your son, it will help with your nerves, and that will help with his.

Why do you get nervous? Google "white coat phobia" - many people have a fear of the doctor. You may be able to find tips/tricks to help you. The better you can manage YOUR stress, the easier it will be to manage his. He has partially learned to be scared of the doctor because you are. Help the BOTH of you and you will both feel better and more able to manage your health comfortably.

Take care and big hugs!

When I know our kids are going to get shots or it will be unpleasant in some other way, I tell them I'll take them for frozen yogurt or milkshakes afterward. It seems to help make it all more bearable because they know something fun is happening afterward.

Some doctor's offices will work with you on coming by to visit between visits. So, the child comes in maybe gets weighed, gets a sucker and sticker says hello to the doctor, and then GOES HOME...with no traumatic events (like a shot).

You might ask the new doctor's nurse if they have that kind of plan to help with nervous kids. Out of ear shot of your son of course.

HUGS...no one likes going to the doctor...

My son responded well to the book Elmo Goes to the Dr.

Books about going to the doctor might help. My son cried every time his doctor walked into the room, despite the fact she was one of the sweetest physician's I've ever met! At some point, we got a Richard Scarry book that had a couple of pages about going to the doctor. He loved the book, and a week before my son's next doctor's visit, I made sure to read those pages to him at night for a few nights. He also had a toy doctor's kit - the pretend play helped get him comfortable with going for the checkup. At the next visit, he was much more calm and cooperative, and would even talk about how what happened in the book was like what was going on during the check up. Obviously, you can't plan in advance when you need a same-day appointment, but if you start reading a book about going to the doctor now, he might be primed for the next time you have to go. Good luck!

You've gotten a lot of good advice already, and I agree with what the other posters are saying. It is important that you get a handle on your fear and anxiety so that you can begin to help your son. I know it's not easy, and you haven't done anything wrong, so please don't feel bad :) Just make the decision to change how you feel and act about going to the doctor, and work towards that goal.

I also think it stinks to have a doctor with a bad bedside manner. I honestly don't know how these folks are able to keep patients acting how they do, especially kids! I hope that you can find one that better suits you and your son's needs. Until then, don't be afraid to speak up!

For the future, I like the idea about getting a toy doctor kit and playing/role playing to get him comfortable with the tools and what they're for. Also, if you get the Disney channel, there is a series called Doc McStuffins that is really cute about a little girl who "doctors" all her toys, and fixes them up when they get broken. The toy is always a little afraid of getting a check up and the girl and other toys help make them comfortable so the doctor can do her job and make them better. If you don't have cable, you might be able to find it online or maybe on DVD (not sure because it's pretty new).

For today, see if the doctor will allow you to do the exam with your son in your lap. When your son needs to lay down, sit knee to knee with the doctor and have your son lay across your laps. When it's time to look at the ears, hold your son cheek to cheek while the doc looks in one ear and then switch for the other ear. Having you close will hopefully help him to feel more calm. Also, try your hardest not to anticipate anxiety and practice slow, calm breathing and a relaxed posture so your son can mirror you.

And definitely, a stop at the ice cream shop afterward never hurts :)
Good luck!

If you think it will help, there's always bribery. My younger daughter had to go in for a series of blood draws when she was very young, and it made a BIG (negative) impression on her. After that, she'd just be terrified to go to the doctor. And god forbid if she had to have a shot of some kind - she'd scream so loud that people would come running from other parts of the medical complex because they'd think someone was torturing this poor child! Ugh. So... before her next visit, I told her (and this is something I never, ever do, bribing with food, but desperate times call for desperate measures!) - if she behaved well and made me proud, we would go to Coldstone for ice cream afterward. She loves ice cream, and we only rarely have it, so this really got her attention. She had to get a shot, and I reminded her when she started to cry, that good behavior meant ice cream. Screaming and crying, no ice cream. I could tell she was still really afraid, but I kept reminding her, "Ice cream! Ice cream!" Well, she held it together, and so we went and celebrated with ice cream. I even put money in the tip jar so the Coldstone people would sing to her.

So, whatever your son's "magic bullet" might be - ice cream, or a little toy that he wants - give it a try and see if maybe he can hold it together for a reward afterward. Of course, you will then be stuck rewarding good behavior in this manner forever (my daughter is 7 and still demands ice cream after doctor visits, haha), but whatever. Do what you have to do! ;)

I think it's time to find a doctor that you and your son like. There has got to be one out there who is kind and patient.

I think it's very important that you try and keep your own emotions to yourself when it comes to these doctors appointments. You definitely don't want to contribute to your child's anxiety and i do believe that children can sense when we are worried or anxious.

If you are not happy with the practice, it's time to find a new one. Ask around to your friends and neighbors and see who they take their kids to. In the meantime, I think you are going to have to deal with your son's behavior when he goes to the doctor. He'll be ok. What's most important is that you get him checked out to make sure that there isn't anything serious going on with his ears.

First, don't tell him until the last moment. If you tell him ahead of time it will give him time to ramp up his fears. I would tell him when the car is parked and you are walking into the building.

Second, bribery works great in this situation. "After the doctor we will get you an ice cream," or whatever.

I wonder if you could take him in once in a while, without an actual need? So that he gets a chance to go and just hang out in the waiting room (if your doctor will allow it, he might even be able to sit in the exam room for a little while) without any procedures being done... So that your son will have a chance to realize that going to the doctor doesn't always mean needles and meanies. If you have to, sneak the doctor a treat or a new toy to give your son, so that he regards the doctor as a nice guy. (Yes, I am telling you to have the doctor bribe your son. lol!)

Although... I would only really want to do this if your office has separate 'healthy' and 'sick' areas. (My office has separate buildings for kids who are there for checkups, vs. those who are there to be seen when sick, so that healthy kids aren't being exposed to so many germs...)

Make it a positive experience as often as you can... even if you have to create those experiences.

You might also try giving him a little doctor's kit, and while you are waiting in the doctor's office he can give you an exam. Maybe the doctor will play along, and let your son listen to his heart or check his ears or something...

It's sad that you had a bad experience with your previous doctor... hopefully this new one will be able to change your son's views on docs.